JRE MMA Show #46 with Ari Shaffir

October 21, 2018

Joe is joined by comedian Ari Shaffir to discuss some MMA/UFC history.

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o ladies gentlemen I don't know if I mentioned course I have I do know my Netflix special it's out right now bitch I think it's my best one yet the reviews have been outstanding I'm very excited that you guys liked it and under the next strange times it's available right now on Netflix thank you Netflix thank you everybody that was part of it thank you Tony Hinchcliffe for opening for me and kicking ass and I hope you like it it's available right now this episode of the podcast is brought to you by meundies they're my favorite underwear I gave a pair to a friend of mine the other day cuz he's like this is me and you should all it's cracked up to be I gave him I open up a fresh packet and I said these are yours I didn't fart in these or nothing he had to trust me on that but I wouldn't do that to a person that be rude

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visit Zoom.Us to set up your free account today z o o o o m u s meat happy with zoom Video Communications set up your free account today at Zoom. Us my guess today is one of my favorite people on the planet one of my best friends won the most hilarious stand-up comedians on Earth he is already shaffir this started off as a MMA podcast and kind of went back and forth there's a lot of MMA but there's a lot of not MMA fighting bro it's he wanted it to be an MMA podcast he actually brought notes are he's prepared he's not like most these fucks but I think it's great podcast I hope you enjoy it too please give it up for my friend Ari shaffir

The Joe Rogan Experience

you talk about that I'm there now yeah yeah machete type Knives have to chop up some wood for sure yeah yeah he maybe he likes doing shit that he his body shouldn't allow him to do the conversation like that that guy who's like a normal size person not to be when I met him we're working together and he lived in a home with special needs kids

and he would like to take care of them he was like a counselor or some some sort of a teacher or something like with special needs kids and he was totally normal size wow like you would see him like let me compare and somebody he's a fat fuck now I haven't seen him in a long time and I literally just trash them for a minute about his big overweight I'm sad cuz I really like that guy's a sweetheart yeah well enjoy what you can ask it to write as a kid allowed himself to eat themselves to death okay well I think a little bit in the attics mind you don't have it you're not really an addict you got its like the replacement thing as real need to replace one with the other what was his attic before the Coke and and and booze man that's why I don't think it's about to put every time he tries to get in shape if it does a month and then like it just falls off a day and it just keeps falling off ever now yeah I saw a photo from that cruise

The Bert went on with him I was like oh God yeah they couldn't let him go anywhere to the middle of the boat otherwise I would like tip that's crazy sharks and shit with charcoal and you can't be on the phone with those fucking buffets to man those buffets are brutal last time I was in Vegas I ate that at the buffet and the great GSI Crepes all kinds of shit I should never eat birds and it's like your friends go your friends go if you want to eat it like Nigella for I was going to like what comes up with some fries. Richard yet just take whatever Filipino and like these immigrant type like

boys that are Clint are you guys done with this like hell yeah I've done like

Biscuitville

yeah I see it it's like that I can keep that smile on your face when you find out the real statistics of like how much people make in certain countries you know like I was reading something about how much people look at the average salary of a person lives in Thailand yeah it's like $1,000 a month do I was out of a bus from 2 East Timor border some guy we're talking about how much you can make and I told him what I give it cost of living is way higher its a $50 bill he was like lost his mind I forgot what I think I'm wrong to about $1,000 a month take to make 1/4 of that reform

betrayed with our neighbor milk Jeremy like we don't need currency did we took these lessons on how to how to grow out of like take rice plant it and like they take you through the whole steps in Thailand they did give you the outfits and every movie that although the people that farm rice wear but you realize like before industrialized agriculture what process it was actually get rice I fuck that it is a giant process yeah it's crazy how much work is involved now you see them up they're fucking wasted water my dog in a rice Patty wants face down I feel like I'm sure at all baby Valley what I had thought you got to put that dog on it anyway at least when you get the rice you just get

rice off the plant and then you can boil it need it now it's like a husk you got to beat it down and break it open and then the actual rice is Underneath It All I'm just trying this out weed I thought you just meet up at Planet smoke at night know you had accurate and drive because you're the worst female weed is what you want right right but male and female weed get together and they've if the male weed in the female weed get together and ruins the weed yeah like I don't like that kind of like real life that that plants like I Don't Know Jack schitt about Horticulture or agriculture but they they breed like the male and a female version of these plants was like what

are some guy was a grower was trying to explain it to me like all the isolate the female plants I can wait a minute but he knows a lot about it plants to rock their plants didn't have vaginas you fucking idiot idiot hey guys this thing I've never researched on our way more about the male version of female version of a fucking plant

what do the more I research plants cuz I had on this guy who's fascinating man you should really if you get them on your podcast. The guy who Paul stamets yeah I heard about NPR he should have mine I hook you guys up okay you would love it when he was explaining to me the system through which plants exchange nutrients and information with fungi and that fungi fungi actually Supply these plants with certain nutrients and they they there's like an Information Network of these mycelium that's underneath the ground that's how it is I've heard about this how like what trees will do was communicate with each other and nutrients the other guests

almost like information exchanging network of fungi wow and I'll help ya mande they know when others need more resources they have like a socialist network of allocation of resources change it's fucking crazy button in the communicate with each other when they're being eaten that way they know they know that other ones are being eaten in they'll change their flavor profile they're actually they actually make their puller leaves more bitter to avoid predation cuz like some of their eating them fucking put up their defenses it's so crazy that you can have the sound of caterpillars chewing means you could play it like a recording next to a plant and that plant will change its flavor profile so disgusting that giraffes won't eat them and I'll starve to death because it's gross toenails I paid him at that stuff that taste gross yeah stupid kids

yeah I need your Burgers Savage Runner Runner boogers crazy mushroom shirts what store was that from do mushrooms tour ticket to special order was not the last might not be tracked if I fucked up and didn't do a shirt this year you should just sell it. It's cool I like the idea of going like Iron Maiden had that would like a shirt per year you can show it off the next Iron Maiden concert but you said you had to be at that concert that's the one

his girl that's a great fucking sharp pain in your eyes looks officially wiped out not really why did Marc Maron the shirt went the other way Superdrug gave up on sobriety mushrooms just totally the other way that's good you should ask them both talks all the best parts of life yeah that's that's teaching me this sober October things teaching me a lot and I was like to know it's out of Brewery alcoholic beer like I was saying like you know yeah yeah it goes sober October and like yeah but he didn't know a lot of people know this

cotton Australia think I might just know we're doing in Australia you going to be sober in Australia and you can't be sober for the Jokers cruise and that was November I think first we can remember some and so we like to settle down October so we just stumbled upon it and other people been doing it for years apparently been going on for a long time change his longtime off my cuz he doesn't realize what podcasts are a while okay what's that sound yeah it's apparently been going on for a long till completely locked into it dude somebody I was at the Jets game somebody sent me a beer and I was like what and then I turned and there's a house like I can't build a look guilty when was looking at me I think he's drinking Joe Rogan I've wanted to so bad I actually needed to break this time I went to Sushi I told you

the sushi in when was I was like oh yeah I got a nice cold by stubbing his moments were booze really does go well with an experience steak and a nice glass of red wine right off 5th that's what I'm going to do the recap podcast we're all going up so early and I've been battling for first place recently until today when Tom Segura snuck into second place with his 400 plus points today at really put the pressure on me it really has hurt me to not I finally joined a gym because of this I have two blankets a small gym but it's like right near my 7 minute walk my apartment so I can possibly hoping to sell or I can go to work at and right then if I want that's good yeah it's 24 hours as far as weekdays so far

restaurants pool halls a bunch of times which place all the time. Pretty late there a few real sketchy joints are 24 hours but if you go in there you'll get a bunch of creeps at want to gamble with you and they look like they're crying yeah they're cracked out trying to hustle this very little of that anymore though it's a New York is cleaned up for the worse or the better I mean hustling pool hustling it's 1060 East kind of died really pools Deadmau5 yeah no yeah it's like well I mean that's good I'm just happy people play it's a fun thing to play but it's dead in terms of like the way you used to be in Manhattan where they were just gambling everywhere you have to turn the century there was a thousand pool halls in New York City down 1900s the early 1900s did you ever see that

so the pool tables like outside in Thailand when you were there no I didn't but her here in the Philippines it's crazy yeah and it's just like they'll be some like an awning or something or just seems kind of like under that and you can just pull over and be like play MLB like white guy for sure let's play No gambling just like having a fun time really oh yeah yeah I saw one in Chiang Mai in that downtown Marketplace area in Thai kickboxing pretty fun it's so cool and Mild I've been to those out here where they play at but Americans get real bored with the Y crew the dance they do a dance for their for their own Dojo well they do everybody does it and there's a real logic behind it a lot of guys that you warm up and then you relax yourself okay I can see that you kind of performing in front of you so kind of wears off

nerves and it's right there's a reality to that it's actually really wise you limber up your body to like a lot of the stuff they're doing is you know they're getting down on one knee like a lunge and they're bouncing a little bit and so they're Lim bring up their body and then on top of that they're actually doing his dance in front of all these people and it calms the nerves a little bit wow yeah John Fisher always talk about that about like the idea people watching you got me a big thing in the UFC like a bigger people watching it then oh yeah where else is a tougher you watching you was fucking horny of mean people watching you shoot a free throw you know let me watch a fuck yeah girl that's real even if it's just like 5 your friends yeah pressure the pressures and fucking real man I mean that's what everybody's most terrified about what we do public speaking I have somebody that will give another talk on that Shakespeare some music group project we had to write one paragraph we wrote three paragraphs each one of those red one

so I can I read mine just reading of Peyton was paying attention this message is like then later Shakespeare okay okay okay it's alright let's all the February I was like what the fuck is wrong with you I used to the bank Towers what bank till I get super nervous right before I have to talk to a bank teller like serious low self-esteem issues up until like high school you up until martial arts and then once I start doing martial arts and getting really good at it and then teaching it kind of calming me down experience yeah it kind of like wasn't believe it or not almost like a natural path to stand up but I remember before that of being very awkward talking to people like very nervous talking to people I didn't

and I just didn't didn't like I still get that I don't know how to talk to talk to you yeah I know right especially if it's an odd thing to you know I know you to answer questions or so broad what's Joey Diaz like we should do for a living fire truck operator make ladders about you what you talkin about yo you used to be a carpenter but I want to do it anymore okay I guess if you want to do it do it yeah like what the everything is like that but if it doesn't work out don't get mad at me

Jimmy Choo Choo Choo Choo I got a broken arm now bro who's going to fix this you broke that's the answer you motherfucker fix that shit go get it fixed yeah I was talking to a friend of mine who I want to name his name just got to the precinct nifkin injury and we're talking about his injury man you know he needs surgery and his phone is changing shape because of arthritis it's building up in his joint on a fuck and he's a young guy and it just makes you realize like the fucking punishment these guys are putting on their body a dick that's like totally below the surface like the people don't know it's behind the curtain no one knows about it and they've got like he's devastating injuries that they're fighting off and then feeding against world class Fighters with injuries he's torn ligaments and physically talk about with Tony Ferguson's I couldn't look comfortable in that way

6 months from catastrophic knee injury where the bone literally separated from the ligament ligament or off the phone the picture of his school that shut up Jane it's a crazy surgery because it's I'm not exaggerating might be a 12 inch scar it's enormous too big and it's all Jagged and shed and it's just he ripped it apart they're open till 12 months not even 6 months 6 months I mean yeah insane I don't understand how that that guy doesn't clearly he does talk about that in the thing is that was just from a trip he just tripped

wow fucking bananas

Oh They'll say yeah we were single the fact that he came back in 6 months and what's really interesting is he came back in 6 months he didn't Spar apparently really to talk to him about this I'm going to have him on with Eddie he didn't Spar he just prepared to dream of these black belts wow really yeah

should be I think he is pretty sure that he did yeah yeah he's pretty badass he's got a nasty d'arce choke probably doesn't make sense to me even that when he came back you should have gotten stripped in hindsight hundred percent and then it's like you have khabib was the titleholder fair and square I guess but like you never beat the champion well he's more of a legit title holder in my opinion then could be buzzed before Connor because I wasn't even supposed to be fighting for the title where is Kevin Lee is a way more like Ferguson get it from well Ferguson fuck Heavenly for the interim title because what on her left Kevin Lee prepare for Tony Ferguson they met they fought for the interim title and Kevin Lee is like a top contender

and he know he put up resistance it was it was a good why he said he would never bring him out a title shot know maybe in his number is not discussions but he's fighting Kevin Lee if he beats Kevin Leahy that's the next time maybe he's very legit he's underrated like really underrated in my opinion I think his the way he got up from taking him down. I will do that he got up like pretty consistently took very little damage on the ground wasn't wasn't could be was never able to pound him out the way pound it out Connor if you go back and watch a like winter vs khabib O'Connor vs khabib you realize how fucking good I like winter is just tired of this nothing on the ground well he didn't really that's his that's when Mendes took him down a two weeks notice and he didn't gas Mendes would have beat them true it's like he can't fight on the ground he did very well on the ground gets Max Holloway

which was early in Max's career Max is only like 21 at the time but I agree with you that's definitely his weakest part of his game and the strongest part of kabobs game my point was just that I La Quinta did not get beat up on the ground like that did not have close to being stopped went full five rounds and could be clearly won the fight but Alec went to provide resistance and provided more of a struggle than Connor did I honestly think some of the reason that's holding a like went back from the fans being from them thinking of him as I can top is his name it's just not he has a name of somebody be like in the early route of Mike Tyson's Punch-Out you say that but if he starts starchy world champions nobody would give a fuck about his name but if you went out there and destroyed khabib and fucking head kicked him into another dimension trucha point-to-point celebrities are like you wouldn't say that if he was in 9 movies like ooh I don't know like Ryan Reynolds pretty things like that

writing me like they even like 10 people like a good looking like not like Jeremy Renner I remembered to him a commercial days and it was like that. Find it doesn't work like that with girls at all like a little gross what if there if they're gross looking and then it gets exceso like Joan Jett by Compaq Joan Jett now you talkin Joan Jett I love rock and roll

Sprint she was hot I know you did but when I was in high school when she was hot when I was in high school or Joan Jett probably a hundred 55 years old yeah she's playing like Dewey Beach next week The Canyon Club what she look like now she looks like okay well that's a little older now that's her I know I'm joking but yeah anyway the reason I want to come out here talking to me yeah it's because I had this unique experience that a lot of people like I mentioned it sometimes and like how you been doe UFC in like to have been to like 50 of them and they're like how

I was just as cool thing work I guess in your contract early on you got this deal you get a free companion flight and a free companion hotel and then you started inviting us and then we start doing comedy shows on Friday night after the way ends and then it became like a thing yeah and so do these weekends we do one Big Show and then go to the Wayans and have and have the actual UFC the next day was just as fun weekend full of like it doing something stand up and also having fun how about the classic example of you and Duncan kissing when CB dollaway right was it boring it was a fucking wrestling fight it was boring

Arizona grout yeah we're giving Illuminati sign at Dunkin doesn't stay up there normally Frosty was always really cool let us out there and make us feel welcome you know if Ross is great yeah great guy and then he signs cuz I thought he was really care about the sport so we should look at the monitors thing that sing the fucking technique of all of it of what goes into like the fucking filming of a joint Illuminati triangle

We Buy Junk silver

dumb people they take you guys are really in the illuminati people have been saying if you're in the Illuminati I know you are you in Rogan what I'm saying I'm in the CIA that's great that's great what you are saying and covered it could you imagine if that was the secret to my career like I did all that other stuff was just so I could just protrait a normal person all the drug use history of martial arts getting it with the UFC become of the commentator some public notary a CIA field garbage man I used to people that just want to believe the dumbest fucking conspiracies. Yeah dumbest conspiracy like there was some fucking guy won't want Info Wars guy that was promoting something recently that Hillary was 50% reptilian 50%

yeah see if you can find that someone said she has 50% reptilian blood will you know that was a David Icke thing for the longest time for The Reptilian reptilians cuz it's embarrassing and then he became way more mainstream and then the internet came along and I feel like such a crazy should have an answer for that or whatever but I was back from the early days with internet for that believe I believe that now I realize I say that I don't bring it up there I mean look there's fucking there's a real can spit you know that that story about that journalist that was killed by the Saudis this week huh that's real baby killed yeah they finally admitted that they killed him sorry I said that they killed him in a fight which is if you see the guy you like Five Guys not fighting anymore and some of the

the crown Prince's top people top scary people have been released apparently probably gave him a fucking hundred million dollars and so go check on a beach somewhere one of them to you this week I don't quote journalist Man is real news Twitter Band After MSM outcry over Hillary satire so is a piece and I was like there's no way that this is really thought I was trying to tell you about about Hillary Clinton is DNA test proves she's only half total clear her name do you know Elizabeth Warren release that thing that says she's got actual Native American blood but it's literally like 1 100 1000 24th wow she has like the smallest amount of your Ben Shapiro tweet about that what he said fuck Jamie try to find it yeah but there was something else but

I forgot what it was so we can find it I think I'm 1.6% African I did one of those DNA test I think I'm at least 10 times more African that her numbers cuz Jamie and I were trying to work it out and we're both stupid as far as she would least that is like C instead of going like I guess I'm not that does happen people do chat like Jamie Jamie thought he had a gang gang a Native American and I'm supposed to do it's hard to prove is from what I'm trying to find out I can't wait to do it I just have up to see if I'm over 90% of 7% Jewish it's mostly Italian it some other European like Irish and English

got to be part monkey at all I found the entry light to 7% more than the average person I know that they swab your mouth surprise he found a Native American to start making out with them and then swap it was a little surprised he wasn't any minority except he was like 2% neanderthal

people how great The Great Character and so it goes you don't tell me up a kiss and I was like

because as a person I'm like I don't want to do that for the comic I'm like oh I have no choice that's the right now I just might have some active actually I think it was a real kiss just watching a little longer than I thought it was over

yeah I can you grab his face to like you really love them but oh yeah I did I don't put his hand on your shoulder and sort of like a submissive stance I look at Joe Silva fight as interesting as hands crossed totally oblivious to the homosexual activity going behind his back in the first got to make a living in sponsorship yeah that's a big selling point for Bellator for a lot of Fighters being there actually make some cash there's a lot more money to be made if you can get sponsors I mean job is making more than $150,000 a fight John short shorts t-shirts around the week of the fight like you don't people pay to wear it for all your training footage all real life when the spots on my way they did away with it the fight is going hey come to fucking you know whatever nightclub from the show

we're going to be a short night clubs in heaven Vegas I think that came out of the time by the way I remember one of the earlier ones in Sacramento I see I got to see luckily not from when you were in the UFC but from this middle-range to where it is now of like all the fighters that stay the same hotel and like we have the after-party there we all hang out for 5 fan to show up who knew about it but generally which is a way you can drink with Keith Jardine at all these guys and wait times but for a while it was awesome things changed one cell phones with cameras result I just want to say hi then it was everyone had a phone out and they all want to take a photo and it would wait for you in the elevator Bank

so you would get out my elevator and it would be 50 people there and you couldn't go anywhere you always so late to the event I can't I have to go for a million fans so you for don't really matter as much to death right now and I got to get there I can't be late for the wind is televising no people get so angry if you didn't take their photo but it was such good times I remember to Sacramento there was a hotel bar brawl at it was like this is fucking awesome hanging out casually you happen to get the conversations with Fighters body people like that you just talk yeah it completely changed it completely changed as a well 2005 is really want it changed because that's when The Ultimate Fighter came on and when The Ultimate Fighter took off and Sport became it just became much bigger like almost within a year it was like significantly bigger and then it kept going and then mm like what was iPhone 2007

6 ish that's when shit really changed with the cameras on the phones man yeah and 8/9 and then I was like I can't do this anymore I have to cuz we would do shovel ever you would like to go to dinner so tell her there's no way it was just too crazy it's like you would get stocked coming into the hotel you can stalk leaving the hotel people to find your door and knock on your door but it wasn't like that at all so far was so fun that we were there in the fucking salad days are you doing the weigh-ins wants and I believe Fort Lauderdale and this week we are walking to there with a Tapout guys remember scrape telling me straight at mass time like we found it this is before the iPhone actually cuz he was like we're on our way to crank text people what you do is you put in 10 different context of a text all the same number how do you say hey how you doing and then they would just get 10 individual text to keep doing that I'm going

only the camp showed up yeah it was just an update on hall hallway but I got to pick up the banquet hall and you go up how do I wish you would up there for sure. Make it

stop. No I would have got up there waited like imagine if the UFC was going to hire me today and then they looked like watch one episode of the podcast was getting fucked up to clean it up a little bit here William Morris wouldn't allow that yes he knows a lot about MMA how do you start paying for that that's why I see the billboard at the Hyatt now the on does Looking Over The Comedy Store I remember sing Ladelle Couture to I think that people like to fight and who are those guys and how to take me to go like the other actually fought an epic fight or 203 I'm not sure and now they're going to have a rematch my call cool I didn't really know anything about it I'm rolling at the old bomb squad and have people.

what is this thing you guys are talking about I remember hoyce Gracie but I don't know who any of these people I don't the terms are using get him on the ground and like it's all it's all a question of matchups mattress next time I'm just like trying to get a guard in how to do that I rear naked choke defense got a good fast pretty good you got pretty good I remember you stopping people I remember looking over and watch you tap some guys going damn it was fun fucking Jiu-Jitsu if you brought bodies didn't break I'm doing Jiu-Jitsu it would be the most fun thing to do if we have bodies were way more durable like next didn't give out and like I said he's had 3 surgeries inside of the last year he had knee surgery it is back disc replaced in his back and then he just had shoulder surgery it's like your body just gets blown apart that's why my Meniscus I had surgery on it in know what it was for longest time and your buddy dr. Steve Steve Graham yeah he was like

MRIs get false negative 20% of time just tell him to scope it cuz I was like showing nothing cuz it's probably it's probably that your telescope at they went in there and found it and did it right then but when I did I was like they were like what do you do what am I heard it and I was trying to get you high car just like on the table myself and he was like that's not pulling my leg back like that you know that I have to do it like that yeah that never bother my niece really know if you're flexible and presses and I was like

forgot doesn't ever lift weights this is a pretty explosive movement techniques not perfect so then it's like really opening it up to like more damage it's also when you when you get sore from doing something I thought you really should take a long time off like that the real hard thing for people that are just starting to lift weights is the building process it's like one of the things we talked about with this fitness challenge was lifting the most amount of weights and in improving your max weight over the month I was like okay guys let's be let's slow down here cuz you guys I mean I know Tom lift weights a little you don't lift weights at all no I do not eat a lot and I'm like listen if I'm going to improve my Max and things we're running the risk of catastrophic injury like we're running the risk of tearing ligaments felt really bad for the contest and we have to drop out it could fuck you up pretty bad I don't lift max weight I left like considerably less than my max weight and I don't go to failure I do this you don't go to feel her know

right under these principles of this guy possible tattoo lean who came up with this company called strong first and what the idea is is you do less or like say if I can do 70 pound kettlebell and I can press it over my head 15 times I don't do 15 times I do 6 5 or 6 and then I put it down and I leave it alone for like 10 minutes and then I come back I do another 5 and I do love repetitions and unless I'm doing conditioning which case I'll use a much lighter weight and I'll do what I was saying it was like 40 reps at 5 because he doesn't make sense he fucking runs marathons everyday and he'll do hundreds of repetitions I killed you sets of 25 like for certain I'm going to be driving a day

any sense but also you have to recognize that he built himself into that state over decades do no Marathon it where it comes from

yeah it was a distance that they had to run to alert someone or something alright I do know the guy I guess his name is marathon of the guys really. But it was more than an actual marathon 26.2 the origin of the term marathon so cam doesn't count

but I received less

25 Mi sports score wow his name to Soldier fit dip to dip the first marathon commemorated the Run of soldier phidippides from a battlefield near the town of marathon green areas in 490 BC according to Legend phidippides Randy approximately 25 miles to Nancy defeat of the Persians to some anxious Athenians but doesn't say that the guy who died no it was not aware that the guys striking with his heel it's wrong totally wrong not only is it wrong human beings never ran like that for the invented the stupid fucking shoes I don't bite it but I heard you say that before when you talk about the goat shoes

but try to like lead with my not so what is it supposed to lean forward more when you lean forward more you strike down and you almost hit with your foot flat but will you never want to do is run like that asshole heel down that's how people destroy their knees running and it was all created by Nike Nike created that stupid bubble fat heel shoes because you know what to give you more cushioning but it's just the mechanics I would have totally wrong if you ever watch little kids run their run ball of the foot first that's not a joke that's how you're supposed to naturally run miss your foot is literally designed as a shock absorber I run with those Minimalist Shoes my shoes have zero kushnick zero so I'm running mountains and hills and shit like that even I want to hunt it elk last week see this guy's oh yeah right on the ball

but beyond the black ones a real dark black ones were good they run Barefoot those fucking guys but these guys are there Landing flat striped shoes you have to realize I getting some of these guys are letting you know that guy in the back as well he'll first and that's because those God damn shoes if you didn't have shoes like that there's no fucking way that guys all he'll see that last guy that got is all he'll never run like that it's against the mechanics of the human knee pull it go back to that what is that video to do was come up the elite

running cadence Cadence okay that video is like that's the only reason that people are running like that it's cuz the invention of those shoes when you run quite a bit right I've seen the reason I look for that is fixing a video from the Olympics thing was last year they're showing long distance runners in all of them had a different stride summer running ball foot our first Summer Running heal first the winner was different I mean it's also goes to all their bodies are different and different well you can run heal first with those shoes and you can get away with it for a long time did the the issue is that's not the way your body designed and the only reason why people running like that because those fucking shoes you know if you talk to physiologist and people study anatomy and the loads and the human need this massive loads who is massive problems with running heal first just not you're not you're not designed like that I would say though just as a disclaimer the biggest problem for most of the people who probably lives do you don't find it

yeah that's so go ahead and get off at fucking ass and run and then figure out the exact right technique later mentally trying to convince the running on a treadmill is not the same as running and he was like no way I know you try running it is so much harder course the fucking treadmills coming towards you I have to just pick your legs up but you know what's waiting for me anyway that I've noticed running on actual ground burst pavement ground as ways ways are my joints that I can go longer it gets a give or something it's like Brianna court but you can run on pavement no problem as long as you run uphill I really just that it's that you just no pounding when you're running uphill because you're decelerating as you catch yourself and you're pushing off it's like you're doing lunges the problem with that is we painting since fucking it possible to keep running uphill good reference to the alley painting

call Jill basically and then run uphill dangerous it's bad for your joints pound like going downhill like deceleration like running downhill and catching yourself like that it's just not good but the deceleration when you don't even deceleration really but when you run uphill there's no pounding because you're reaching that area and then pushing but it wears you out more but like your muscles but you're right the joint okay we were hiking the Alps this year in July at Amanda's uphill till I can relate to push button down Hills like you're pushing off yeah and it's like it just hurts more of her to pick up your needs to really beat up your knees I found that elk hunting too but the really the painful stuff was the downhill you just stopping yourself stopping yourself stopping yourself and there's also a lot of sliding you got to push your foot sideways like so now it's almost easier if shoes

I don't like you don't come over the edge you dig that edge into the ground I got some good luck boots for that and it was like really good makes a big difference I tried hiking with these minimal issues this last trip that I was on I didn't like them I wasn't a fan there they're fine for running if I'm running on a trail but for hiking like the human body is just we have bitch ass bodies so we won't be able to walk into a creek without having to worry about like this going to soak my socks the next 4 hours after that me and Duncan kissing there was a blog when a pretty fast it said to board tier to do is get rid of made out of the UFC I got a new Flippy and somebody I didn't know it was somebody texting me like oh you two were quite the social media drawings last night where do you know who it was and then later I looked in my eye

it was Dana is not mad I don't think he does but you never quite know cuz you like you are a CEO you know you're also a CEO do I don't really get along with a gigantic Sports organization yeah that guy it's interesting meeting that guy to like dinners with them and like conversate casual conversation to listen to like a highly successful person and just how they like normally act once you drop the guard you know it's just interesting he's like dude for sure he loves making deals and all the all the Shins involved in it but hearing you guys talked about like the fucking Meatheads of Boston fighting and stuff we had finally met at the time of his story he told want to go it's like wow well Boston we're bored and came up and where I came up the sparring was awful it was he

disparti law in South Boston and Ice part in Summerville and in Revere and a couple of other play everybody would beat the shit out of each other it was no real sparring at legally one are in Revere Revere Revere wow this is a lot of debate on this but I most people think you should Spa Road like 60 to 70% maximum everybody's part a hundred percent everybody looking

or is that something that's like one of these days the comics do what do they say something like real talk just your college friends and it like you should do that on stage and it's like the challenge of like oh right you already goes on stage at the comedy connection Faneuil Hall and I don't remember the exact wording of it that the people are just really not that good looking

I love that training and it did now I can go after a crowd and just like I'm being honest you know in like a In Like a Cat Williams when he's cheating on Michael Jackson who's still here oh you children's molester care how you feel objectified in this super Justified with that yeah I mean that was just something I was I bought some women are disgusting even if they're good looking to voice their garbage fuck me and my pussy huh like one of the more fun things was well it was really fun hanging out and doing shows but it's also fun saying like you can't get fired check about that that was touching floor

all timers. Specifically where was like where the hotel five minute walk from Faneuil Hall in August get high and I was like nah I'm about to perform open heart 20 times maybe and you're like why because I want to go to go so I'm like what am I so you can't play here it's 43 seats and also like it's too far to go to feature and you just way too big for the headline so I'm hiring you I don't care if you get too fucked up so it's not like yeah I also wanted you to feel free and that there's these moments when you get high and you go on stage where and they don't always happen but there are moments where you take a right turn into brilliant Ville and that right turn doesn't exist sometimes if you're sober you're so we'll stick to the script but if you're high you like so what

why did fuck my dog for a while, up with this premise or this tagline or this thing that comes from you being in this altered state of consciousness and you can't do it any convalescing I would not advise you doing it on a big show case we have to show like way more chill know when you're taping something where it's important but for workout sets work out of this so so I'm back that I could get hot now you and I we get high for a couple hours you know maybe then I was high for 9 hours so anyway with two sets at night or Friday or Saturday night and the first set was awful and I forgot what I was saying I had no idea where I was going and that bad I want that no no parts of it okay but that by the second-set not them you went on for an hour then we had a half hour break and then when I can but then I come down a little bit and a second set was what you were talking about

call Wing you really should get high about an hour and a half before you go on stage not like right before I fucked up and got a high right before that's not that's not why what's wise is an hour away. You already know where it's gone and now you're Coast Edgar with your Medicare overdue for a while he was going later The Comedy Store and he wouldn't get high all day you know your first hit of the day like your biggest one and cigarette smokers get a buzz at first cigarette you know yet but your first weed hits the biggest one he wouldn't smoke all day keyed up at 12:15 a.m. spot and when they go hey Matt we're letting Tony he go run to the main room smoke a bunch in that 3 minutes and then go on stage yeah he be going up and feeling it while he's all like it when you get hit him until he's 2 minutes on that would be good if you had notes and if you followed what you talked about already that's why I told when I play Clan Destiny or Comedy Underground they call it in Toronto

like if anybody like my advices bring a set list I normally don't say that but this is one you will lose your place there was no air in that room once only pot like you were breathing pot and exhaling pot it was all pot by Buddy manolas he was like I don't smoke and then I think he's in the back between minutes like to them high shit yeah it's Tripoli Tripoli wasn't getting high back that and yes you are he was barbecued that's why I started to believe second hand smoke is a real thing I didn't think it was not tape it up stick his head out the window at the. After I drop it like what the fuck is wrong with you when I get hot box in advance when we should get Vans for a while. Conversion vans red Vans go to so many of us food on Taraji it

red man with filament we would just have Shenanigans and every time we went to bring you a course and then Eddie Tate and red band has the non comedians on me and Duncan or me and D or whatever there's a shitload of us 6 people and then we would Feast we go to these you fucking amazing restaurants at photo a lot a lot of hype Razorbacks one of my memories I believe or Cincinnati was nearby right near the hotel Botox Wendell and he was he was the most fierce free game fighter the way you look at you like I want to kill you for taking this fight yeah nobody was scarier than him in his prime scary because he would just be so, but I don't care what they just stared him down more than anybody ever stay up and lay down he wouldn't break

Croatian anti-terror Squad I beg for mercy and I showed them how do I really wasn't heavy weight but anyway we saw him checking in we went to eat he was in that uhas Korea 15 minutes late like yeah

dude nobody stare down Cro Cop back then that was when Cro Cop was at the peak really had sorta mastered MMA he was coming over as a straight kickboxing they had different rules for him the rules for Crow capoeira like you can only fight on the ground for like 30 seconds they had like and if the fight went to a distance it would be a draw yeah because he really didn't have a lot of experience with takedown defense or any MMA fighting back then and then we didn't get BOTOX he had his face reconstructed cuz his nose he been in so many brawls his nose is completely flat and we couldn't breathe out of it and he had so much Scar Tissue over his eyes that his eyes with drooping down so he'd get cut instantly I need any punch to open them up like a gas completely flat so they took a chunk of his rib and rebuilt his nose and he had his nose built Big so he can breathe out

more and then he had all the scar tissue removed from his eyebrows and then pull back and according to Dana I don't know if he's doing is like. It's Donna brazile on a cheap and just like wasn't that didn't fit him really make them look like Wanderlei wow so he went from Wanderlei Silva site Wanderlei Silva has the most profound facial form-change and all of them in May cuz he went from pretty it go back Wanderlei Silva vs go to Wanderlei Silva vs Dan Henderson one when they first fought in Pride he he was a normal actually pretty good-looking guy like regular good-looking guy and then by the time he left Pride his face was just smashed in by time you fight Chuck Liddell his face was just smashed in his nose has been literally flattened oil for throwing punches and kicks and not just from fights but also from training the training that he did it shoot the Box in Curitiba was

fucked up that also okay would bring me another thing we got to go to Brazil one time and do a show that time but I'm looking just a normal looking bad ass that was the first fight we fight Dan Henderson on Jay Leno New Hampshire to see a picture of Anna Lee above that with the aisle fucked up a really cool picture I'm about to take a look at his face there in comparison to his face it later on his career totally different Dan Henderson looks exactly the same other version he might want to tell this guy has ever lived so tough

struction make that larger C Construction settled in you know I we saw him right then and he just bought real recently a couple weeks ago and I'm still fighting them knocked out by Rampage Rampage flatlined

Rampage still carries a power that was Wendy KO Rampage killed him in the UFC with the ring through the written Pride was one of the coolest yeah I saw that later I mean I get away later you come to the UFC and it's like all these highlights this backlog of highlights of MMA

Rio is really cool actually. Fight the audience response the two biggest ones were Sylvia Couture in Columbus first time it is in Columbus and that real fight Jose Aldo vs that was a chat Mendes right which one vs Edson Barboza from dick from fight one of the undercard panties was so that you could feel it shaking and I remember them chanting something in the crap that's one of the first ones and he made a Brazilian fighter on every every fight Brazilian but they say God oh my God

yeah they don't play games man oh my God that's when they were like legit and I believe that like we got to figure out how we can get Chael Sonnen out of here fight Anderson here and I might come on and then you go there like oh I believe it now yeah you fiercely nationalistic and also that's where I met started I mean really MMA me martial arts starred in The Orient they started in Japan and China and but in terms of like legitimate mixed martial arts Valley tudo those no rules fights that's all from Brazil man Brazil change to jutsu mean you leave the airport and then there's giant two guys and he's like looking at each other like it's part of the organization's culture and Rafael Lovato who's like one of the top Brazilian Jiu Jitsu fighters in the world who fights for Bellator now and he's actually in American from Oklahoma that fights you know and really represents Brazilian jiu-jitsu but he was saying that like for the longest time to Brazilians

dominated the World Championships he was on the first American to win a gold medal in the world championships but for the longest time like even to this day the Brazilian still like have a disproportionate number of gold medals nuts in them right shoot part of the culture and they're so proud you know so proud that was one of the coolest place ever been to remember also

Australia to Sydney and we did do a show then and every 2 to show it was cool but

it was in your contract first class Companion Ticket way before we were ever going to go to Australia for that and then it was just as a UFC group and so I remember Dana coming up to me half joking and half serious just do I do now I don't think that I could use the money if a little apartment I was so gracious now segora told me he brought him here before he was like to get ready it's going to be so good to give you socks I jerked off into these fucking grad experience a lot of fucking UFC's live Man 2

estaba Anderson for a little bit cuz I believe my very first UFC was at the Pearl yes at the Palms I think it was Anderson vs Chris leben yes it was fun fight I guess Anderson and his first fight in the UFC at people like that he's not crazy like he's the best just like he's a big guy I knew who he was and I was telling everybody like whatever the betting line is it's off you told me that on on Glover Teixeira take money on this little early. Just like people don't know and you know go over it doesn't matter to you as a whip he got a rough deal man cuz he couldn't get a visa to fight in the UFC for a long time is it outright or 6 years Glover had a toil in other countries he was one of the best ever he was fucking phenomenal back then man and I think you know when we got him in the UFC is at the tail end of his greatness on a

I mean I think we never really got a chance to see glow over at his very best in the UFC sky like a Jackie Robinson like what were the stats would have been if you could thanks for the career or is it gyro or something like that he's one of those guys that I mean I remember when he fought so could you he fought so could you I think it was in the wec in the early days of wec when it was in Northern California he was Chuck Liddell sparring partner and it was one of the rare times that he got the fight in the US and I'm never watching them fight and I would hear about him I think happened and told me about him to Q train with Chuck I was like that has a mother fucker he is so good he was so solid and he was like you know training with Hackleman and training would Chuck Liddell in the early days when you know they're just Savages man and his wrestling to it was one thing that a lot of Brazilians didn't have they were more Jiu-Jitsu oriented he was a wrestler as well does Babalu Babalu had a real good wrestling base to and I was the first time ever making money by leave in the UFC

choose one of the girls and guys to like I'll get paid of the UFC vet have a name I'll get paid a bunch off this fucking Chuck fight you know I'll get paid a bunch of the rest of my career until everybody started going and then it's like wasn't worth that much yeah that's why I tried Force opened up you know a lot of people realize that there was like there was a legitimate venue and they weren't Showtime Strikeforce is on Showtime thought there may be all set it was a big fucking deal I was Allie taxi and let me check it went on to to know and I would like making these people and not text you where you've heard about cyborg yeah there was like Allie taxi and that sucks yeah and then you know and Strikeforce those were too legit venues outside the UFC that really kind of because of you see wasn't as big back then and then they they were pretty legit there more minute you could get it you didn't have to pay per view it you did actually just want it to but now Bellator is on that

nu-sinh does Zone d a z n do you know that isn't weld with a Donuts are splitting it's like a streaming service they're splitting half the half the fights Bellator on Paramount which is used to be spiked now have two fights on this d a z n network but what's crazy is the DA's en Network just gave Canelo Alvarez 365 million dollars they just gave him this giant deal on to your place once your old house me you Eddie and make a lot of people here watching some pride stuff that you dvr'd and it cut off the last fight cuz it went all that's right you watch boxing announcer watching two hours of MMA you see a guy get knocked down in there just like to go to let me get off here like what the fuck is this so much hugging and talking

toxic sucks it's great if you watch really good boxers and if you know you're going to go see boxing really good fight I thought Triple G well I thought was a real close Friday but if I was going to give it to someone I think I would have given it to Triple G but it was close enough where you can go okay this isn't a robbery but good fight decisions and takedowns and bittrex makes fighting more interesting just way too many fucking let's see what the judges say one this guy just did better yeah no ride either guy right where I'm going to happen but you rarely yeah the thing about pacquiao-mayweather was like fighting so what are we decided right right right yeah after 12 on 12 I like the Early Pride like the early UFC would like hoist 35 minutes and then we'll see eventually I'll fucking wear you down

yeah that's what Nate always says like this is a war you be dead you know from you and then just put if someone came along today and did no time limit fights I wonder like if you had like three big no time limit fights like Nate versus Connor John Deere versus DC you know it and have just 3 giant fights and have no time limit go fight thing to go into that kind of a fight that's a different feeling like what horse went into a nose early days the UFC it took a lot of abuse just to get like past guard and then slow likes 8 minutes late he texts so slowly moved yet we're not in a rush it's weird how it changes your fight plan yeah he's on this outside influence people also have to remember who is five guys that were so much bigger than a massive like emo

oh and chemo like was a giant write it up dude was hitting them with bombs and and hoist was on his back and finally called me an arm bar and then couldn't continue he couldn't fight after that cuz I was supposed to fight later and he couldn't fight he was just couldn't fight in the in the next fight he was just too bad as a tournament right yeah yeah young big John looks oh my gosh Christ his chemo chemo was giant I mean he was so huge it Jesus tattoo on a stomach look how big he is yeah it was a crazy ass fight man that's what I was like what is this whole support getting at my friend's house and Gracie in the back and I was the Klan man those that the Gracie Clan who was the Gracie That was supposed to be but they're like yours too good at a fuck everything up Hixson but did the thing about it was not just the kitchen was too good but also

that Hixson wouldn't listen like no one could control Hixson I really like yeah cuz horian created the UFC and Corinne is the oldest brother Cory in the House and I don't know I'm not sure which one is older they are right at there was no feelings for the Route 17 seconds ready to go yeah and chemo his wrist taped up and not his knuckles crazy ass better not go then forgot about the bare Knuckles Stomps Soccer Kicks you do anything back then you can kick in the balls you candy in the balls get hot sauce on it went to jail for rape right went to jail for any murdered his cellmate he went to jail for a game rape they arrested him for something else and they did a DNA test

found out that he was a part of a gang rape yeah I got skinny pig John this is a long-ass fucking time ago man 25 years and always look ahead but see that voice with the head but yeah well I mean he really didn't have a wrestling background now you see how high is hips are you know he didn't he didn't drop down and go for a double whose base is no wonder he's hoping he get the fight to the ground with a trip and their egos and then when he tripped them Timo Weiland up on top of him which is hilarious last his back is terrible terrible position blue Choice keep wrestle with me I'll fucking get you to look at his chemo was riding his back but chemo is maybe 80 or 90 pounds heavier than them

chase a lot to get off your back was like 175 ecchi to 175 and chemo was can't slip out with the gate to 50 he was a big fucking guy man is no back of the head so he's got to protect himself a distance I know like and also chemo is holding on The Voice is ghee yeah but now look you fucked up because I'm tired wide-open God I need a ride from sheer size yeah but chemo just got exhausted because when you're that big if you don't have like a real rigorous strength and conditioning program you just get fucking Tumblr hairstyles going to need got no idea oh no I'm not that good sloppy they didn't have strength and conditioning fuck they were doing this is all these Empanada cut way to the doctor I guess he didn't cut any way other than I don't know shit about nutrition mean in 93 Matt but now you remember he got a hold of that hair

peaceful hair and start punch him in the face really christeson for the arm triangle there are the song po bullshit but you know this is we learned so much about martial arts from these fights yeah I did not evolve and out of all that involved but like the old logo opened up Jiu-Jitsu schools worldwide everywhere and everybody wanted to be a Gracie you know guys were changing their name to Gracie guys are like Mary and Gracie's just have the Gracie name guys and marry a female Gracie and then change their name to Gracie Mews crazy it was a difference between you making a million dollars you making nothing nobody wanted to go to Fred's Jiu-Jitsu everybody wanted

full fucking hang out what the fuck

they're both so tired exhausted then and this is only if I have to remember exactly it's crazy to both so worn out it looks like it's more of what subject is about to end here for 22 I'll hey he catches him keeps going to the armbar the triangle and eventually if I don't get one of them so it's like first round in UFC today even knows where he's going for you anything look at him he's exhausted he is Mayberry for sure but I'm barely but then voice was so beaten down by this fight that he got to go on go on

but Hickson would have destroyed chemo it would have been completely different thing because Hicks it was strong as fuck man and Hixson was theirs Joseph sign

Hixson was a different animal like Hixson was much more physically imposing he was about 190 200lb he was smaller than chemo but he was jacked of the bodies look at his body is just like wrestler body yeah yeah. Just be sure to wrap you up like a fucking package so back to Anderson now so my book ends with him are that first leaving fight and then shattering is leg which I was in front row for what you didn't even believe it didn't make sense to see a leg would like that you like I don't I don't get it it looks like somebody filled up a sock with with pebbles and just like to look at something and didn't make sense I was so gross hoof but in the interim

seeing that first Chael Sonnen fight

when he was I mean he wants four and a half brown sugar on it almost won the title and then I mean it was such a legendary Sports then not UFC but Sports thing how this guy's down like crazy in a title fight a guy who's never been tested was finally tested

and was losing it was over this guy could just on and was beating you figure them out

I need to get that triangle with with 40 seconds left two minutes left there ever was but I remember it was so clear indelible my head is afterwards we're at the entrance everyone's cleared out of the stadium where the entrance to the to the under the skin of the caves of the of the stadium where it was and Smee you I think Dana Randy was there and were all talking and it every once in a while somebody's mind would go to that fight and you just see if I like yeah yeah I think the weather is pretty nice here and they're seasoned with garlic

like you couldn't believe it I've never seen Randy Couture do they like what it is

4 minutes in the fight grabs ahold of it or four rounds in the fight grabs hold it sinks at the triangle and get the triangle armbar combination in Topsham wow this is an Andersen take me to that fight injured enter Anderson had a fucked-up rib and I'm going to that fight in a lot of people thought he should have pulled out what kind of weird that it is this while the blurriness only strange fan it made it was nuts it was nuts for that guy and people forget how good he was a talking shit is the best that he was the best when I come it wouldn't Anderson Silver Fox into the ring you can hear Mouse pissing on Cotton when I walk in it's Thunder

guide me to the troubles he would cut yeah we're just the band that had been done yet now it's not a lot well Conor McGregor you know it's arguable the chair was even better than Connor it is if you take time. No one was doing that he was the first yeah and he was building up fight as a heel for the first time ever and rock them a little bit later but people forget how can I chill can fight if you go back to really to me his one of his most impressive victories was Nate Marquardt because he fought Nate Marquardt with mitt Nate was one of the best and he Ragdoll them and it was a bloody crazy chaotic fight and he you know he basically dominate him with wrestling yeah she'll just bought last week he just got in the door he stopped by fate or and you know he had some good moments in that fight had to pay towards back he tried he tried to roll them over there's a move that you do not go under the chin when you have someone's back you go under the chin and then you

somersault over and try to carry with momentum try to carry them over but it's a core strength moved or head in arm while you yeah yeah I kind of like riding high on the back and he went he felt like he had a grip under the chin I don't know how you held his hands but what you do is when you have a guy's back you you hold it like this and then you go forward so you take them for time with you that way you have their back when you're on your back you could send you up a bottle try and go you could send you up the choke but paid or shut them off and then beat the ducks on the ground but one of the greatest ground-and-pound Experts of all time giant difference that was getting out of nothing at all so you know chill fought 185 bay doors been heavyweight his whole life it's like you know there's a lot of factors in there but yeah it was

fight as long as it landed on his last brother one of the cool things that we've gotten is the bib Billy to hang out casually with his Fighters like having just breakfast with Randy saying I'm having with enough time to do that remember one time I was like going into a buffet or whatever or the hotel like free breakfast in like looking around and just haven't handled it with me you just such thought out that I'm just like we talked about nothing but some of my favorites were in Chicago

who are the Wayans and then like let's go to the show and then just jump drive with Clay Guida he's like come with me like okay and you white-knuckling holding up the front seat as he's swerving with a brown paper bag that you fight that's all either way doesn't matter you just going for it on these highways he knows he's not believe the rain and it was just like a fun time but another one that I remember early early on Jon Jones he wasn't anything bad for no maybe something like that

meeting them talk about you and I can talk about this now because it's not no longer banned substance in the UFC but like talking about weed and was like you would smoke bro and just going like he's like we can't wait like a Rogan's guy pees in his hotel room and texting you flip phone texting you have to have a flip phone was like that's all anybody had that's how long ago and then just going like maybe it's that I may be as early iPhone but like hey man are you up to I'm go to sleep and was like fuck John I think he just doesn't want us up there and then like none of us go he's got the weed let's go because of weed and I just knock on your door like what you like and what you were tired and I was like I'm doing that we'd like to come on I want to go to sleep so I can me and Jon want to smoke and you like you looked at us you open the door fully looked at me and this young fighter and you're like

are we all smoke pot together this hotel room in fucking wherever it was I think Montreal Ashley was Mantra. Yeah and you just a fun time and then seeing this guy move on to become the baddest mother fucker on the planet but we also had a conversation with him about I was I wanted him to go to a different Camp that's right he was training and fucking YouTube videos if somebody's in the garage like you should be in a real cats right we had that over weed in that hotel room he's like you really think so I go I know so I know I go you only have a certain amount of time in this thing I go and your time should be invested with a real Coach who's going to hold your skills I go you you could be an all-time great man wow so I know so you really gotta move on I forgot about that part of it. How influential was out of the fucking future of mixed martial arts I hope it helped you know

my toenails but I think it was a good conversation to have with a young guy and I was like listen man you you you have a real talent like you could really be something but you got to be you got to be coached by guys who are going to find out your tendency counting technique isn't worth isn't going to go take it that far so good who knows how far you might have been a world champion even with the camp that he was in he's so good and is wrestling so powerful and he's so physically talented but it made a big difference for him to go to Jackson and be able to train on a regular basis with world-class Fighters not be in there at the top of his game back then and that's right I mean Keith Jardine and they just had a massive they had TaylorMade it called the ring of fire will you go 5 rounds of sparring

how to get ready for a fight with a different high level I mean highest level fighter so like Nate Marquardt like cool as I want to get out of here charging you come in now I just finished work right now I got it with Keith Jardine school around 3 so I can get out. Don't you come in and it's like what I mean the train you got there Craig Johnson's Camp yeah I mean look there's a reason why so many extremely high level Fighters coming out there and then Rashad Evans was there as well too and Rashad had a real problem with John coming there because for sure I was like hey this guy's in my weight class yeah but what you going to do at Eastway Crossing rides it's an issue yeah and then you know Rashad and John became friends and they did fight John beat the shit out of I don't remember that we fought after they had a big falling out because Rashad was upset that you know John want up John wind up getting a title shot and beat Shogun because you were shot got injured

Rashad was supposed to get the title shot John steps in and they were friends at the time and then somewhere along the line then the trash talk started you know I'll fight Rashad fuck it and then it was like man I thought we were friends oh yeah that's back when I was like you know you guys can fight as friends you're doing you don't have to like be ready fight it's a sport and it's a it's a money thing and then when John beat him it was a real drubbing and it was five rounds was a decision and it was a real clear-cut unanimous decision he did some crazy shit do my step in elbow to the Face Rock no yeah I kind of remember this one now this is John when he was developing Johnny wasn't even John like the John that knocked out DC remember who sang in fights I didn't really ever see this weather Fighters where he would talk about after wins talking about the holes the fuck up she had more than the what he did right was most guys would be braggadocious but I loved it but it was like he was

the things that went wrong exposed I can do to me is reckless and chaotic as he is and you know I've said this before that I don't know what causes that kind of recklessness but there is a direct correlation between traumatic brain injury brain damage and impulsive behavior and recklessness it's a fact it's well-researched it's is well documented in the nearest science they know that this this is it there's a connection I don't want to exonerate him from his past Behavior but the we see that in football players we see that in BMX riders that go crazy and fucking land on their head a bunch of times people they get crazy get wild and impulsive it's just a fact it's just a part of the game you know those people that engage in any kind of an activity where you bring his rattle on a regular basis you are way more likely to do ridiculous things that don't make any sense. Does make sense

it does it's what I said about John are you talk to John about it you know and you know I know John was upset with me after one of those things before we actually did a podcast together he was upset and I said listen man I have to be honest about everything I have to be honest about how I feel about every single aspect of your performance of your behavior I have to be doesn't mean I don't love you and I mean I don't think you're a great guy I hate to give your commentary also I have to be you don't really true size but I can't I can't not only can I not choose sides I have to call what I see it's it's everything because if I don't have to no one's going to listen to me cuz I never comment on it interesting that after broccoli Keith Haring

winter whatever Steakhouse in want to and he's coming in afterwards and looking right at you said like he wasn't good you were coaching critical of them he sought you out so I can talk to you and fuck is mad but he's like you just wanted to express to you they had his leg injury and that's why he couldn't really defend that take down but it's interesting how the fighters that I got to see these Fighters respect your opinion enough to want to explain their side of it while I appreciate that and there's always a side like was talking about that fighter that has his pretty significant injury that he's dealing with right now like most people don't even know and they wouldn't have known it if he didn't tell you there's a lot of these guys that go into fights and they're really compromised you know their hand injuries back injuries neck injuries and this is just a part of this crazy Sport with your the whole objective is to injure people so you're enjoying each other and training and you know you got to hide those injuries because I know it's like them but this is why

have to be honest all the time it's because people they respect the fact that I'm not going to I'm not saying things because it sounds cool I'm saying things cuz this is actually what I see and maybe you have a different perspective and maybe you can share your perspective with me and I'll tell you why I thought this and maybe I'll change my mind and I'm not scared to change my mind but what I say what I think my pussy to see if I'm going out how to walk I like Brock Lesnar man I swear that if Brock Lesnar got into the into mixed martial arts right out of college 1 College wrestler wide into training really learn striking and learn slowly like took some small fights on Jones and then but really learn striking instead of like spending all that time doing WWE which I'm sure he made of

fuck load of money for you I mean good for him that's all great and everything like that but man I think you could have been one of the all-time greats I really do I really he's a very long no help free nobody I'm never cutting that much to have you ate his giant jeans on because then testing back then was horseshit and the way to the best way to to show the testing was horseshit was the show when Alistair Overeem fought Brock that was a steroid Olympics those two guys together inside the nose also Brock less than a year from diverticulitis surgery where they had to remove I think 12 in of us or is well what is uneven a mediator I thought it was at the time that I talk to all people Anthony Bourdain told me now people get diverticulitis sometimes from seeds get stuck in your intestines

yeah we'll just things get caught and stuck but they they had to remove 12 inches of his intestines so that old was Don the Brock Lesnar that every fear but he he says that he was compromised even before that he said he was compromised before the Cain fight and before a lot of his other fights even the fight with Shane Carwin from diverticulitis like he was suffering from it from a lot for a long time and he just thought that you know was just exhausted from training but really he was having this blockage and all this issue because Jesus is incorrect by the way that's not true when he weigh he was 265 have you looked over and over he was over it was 265 as well and if you look it over him on the scale for that fight this there's that's a great picture of the two of them facing down by Jesus Christ are both so jacked

went over me my height

when Overeem was was standing there flexing on the scale you like what in the fuck is he are like where the fuck dude wow

he's acting like really fucking hard it still smiling oh my God

that he was so fucking his friends are trainer's name or manager's name to Paul white guy about the Fridays in your cycle they tested for steroids in Pride and you were like what they test for steroids in any way now if they not test in Pride they put in the contract we do not test for steroid test but they didn't really test you at the end of got to bed he loves ring card girl that she was so young what was the villa

he was a goalrilla son Jesus blonde hair who should I weigh if he was if I could not see I would have room for the other team he was a viking boats with a dragon on the front of it underrated Jon Jones for a weed head gets all the credit to fucking Nate and Nick that's right and on the plane is like heard you got a what am I find a compliment when is Jon Jones I heard somebody else goes how you know John always goes walking Jeff I'll take that I gave him a package of breath strips and ate the whole package

how do I turn my screen off is the dose he took two and you like. I was so scared for him I was paranoid because I gave Tommy buns a half here and we flew to Florida and he told me he goes dude he goes I swear to God when we landed till it goes I didn't think I was going to make it before I really thought I really thought I couldn't make it I really thought there's no way I'm going to be able to survive this flight I'm going to freak out I'm going to have them land somewhere I almost told to Stuart before we took off we're on the runway the only thing that stopped me from doing it is knowing the abuse I would have taken for you verbally for the next 2 years that I'm like I'd rather die I love those days it was so fun I was actually I felt bad for you a couple times in my life why one time me and if you sir for doing a corporate in Vegas and went to the new Aria and we took Edibles and we walked around and I was like oh Rogan's to famous in Vegas he can't do

that she can't get this fucked up and walk around casually but but watching the fights on Edibles am I too bad you don't get to experience this you can't do that you can't have to do a hundred percent sober I tried early in the days early in the day I did like one or two events for as a little fucked up and I was like this is just too cloudy I want to think because I would want to talk about other shit the fight of going out of my talk about space tattoo on his back he just found his last fight see was on there I think a guy who the fucking big black dude beat on the last 13 seconds of the stingray was strange thing to have time to run your back one of these are going to Ocean guy is really into the ocean temperature

forgot where the floor is off of Flores feeling down there were the Komodo dragons are you fucking dive in Andhra story that's that's where that little fucking man lived you know they had that that's human being that they found what do they call it a homofloriensis is I think they could you has a little tiny Hobbit like person that existed I want to say as recently as 10 to 15 thousand years ago there was like a 3-foot tall kind of human different branches of human being right this been Neanderthal Jose from Russia. Dionysius or something yeah that guy was the shit he gave good good drugs but this little little person that lived alongside human beings see if my timeline is right

do they have speech they don't know but they know that use tools to paint them with tool to show you what honey 5070 thousand years ago years ago wow human species debunked I don't think that's correct says new historian but I'm pretty sure that's probably an old article what year what was that article when is that 10 years ago was it 10 years ago it wasn't for the article that's fairly recently I don't think that's the consensus I don't think the consensus is that it's been debunked fun part is about the cranial volume or something but not that it was a separate species Cranium volume calculated to be born at 30 ml ml which puts it within the range of modern human living in the same region they went further comparing the size of the circumference of the occipital

occipital frontal section of the skull to patients with developmental disorders in that region the planet they found the measurements were indeed similar if they'll be one did have Down syndrome then it would explain the short femurs as well hence when calculated statistically for normal growth they would yield a height of just over 4 feet which matches up with some humans living on Flores no I think this is probably one of those heavily debated things by me or trying to recreate in Austin called Island dwarfism that happens to it it's really odd because it happens to mammals but the opposite takes place with lizards and reptiles that massive huge monitor lizards really essentially there in Norman whereas elephants that live on Islands get tiny that is not worth elephants yeah yeah I see that

sources so they adapt to the talk to you unless it was an elephant it's a shorter than you and elephant 3 that's like a elephant it's like my kids height like this is it happens with all sorts of different animals he dwarf buffalo yeah Island dwarfism they think it's because he's animals adapt to the fact that there's a limited amount of living amount of territory long distances to get to something crazy what happens with animals man when when they figure out like what they need to do to survive like one of the things that I was reading about really recently was these I wish I had it off the top of my head but these mods that lived in a separate are an area where things were darker and they change from a light-colored moth to a black moth like really quickly really yeah I like really quickly

they did it over a couple generations and I'm trying to figure out how the fuck this happened see if you find that couple Generations peppered moth yeah really fast like I blew them away they didn't understand how it happened so quickly I think it's like there's there's so little that's truly understood about what adaptive changes can possibly happen with an animal like for instance is his documentary called Relentless enemies and it's all about you going to piss in some pie after when did you accept it so we can have okay you know you should do you should get one of those ice bags that people use for

definitely don't show that'll get you off of YouTube ice bags that people usually compression ice bags and they have like a nice wide mouth want to give it to you talk to him it didn't work

a top it off you're not tough enough I'll use this pleases to the bathroom real quick and just hold on and scared Jeff or just suck it

what's that Tumblr

definitely take that piss out of here though afterwards I don't want to feel like a waste of time so you better take the picture is on Joe Rogan Ari shaffir's pissed for real and episode was Jamie's turned sideways Fred Dix the glory

I believe this might be actually yeah yeah they are no longer sponsors that I'm still wrapped you guys what's going on with you and sponsors did something happen but you said something crazy about sponsor and they give you a hard time yeah man it's okay I get it I'm not for everybody but then it's like we can work together anymore that you can tell me what to say don't say something they said it's offencive

it's I think I said it was something along the lines of like if your Human Resources person and you have to hire you can see your time can be spent better do you know doing something else you could talk and quickly hire somebody is it going to snow anytime masturbate in your office you can bring like a ziplock bag and keep putting that use socks in there that you masturbated on a 1-minute by and then that's fine but I can't be thinking about it

yeah I've had some people get pissed at me and it's fair on their part I get it I don't agree but I get it that's your that's your right some of our pissed it is language yeah exactly what I like that's not the way I'm going to do it so we're done such a fool hearty way of letting I believe that too I believe a good sponsor me that when I do is Agoura for stop of beds where I was like him getting pegged in the ass by Christine Christina and he's probably have less but his knees are oh so soft and stop at mattress it's like dude they got super mad at it and take it down for work tonight pay base and take it down at it they have the right to say take it down cuz I like

what time is it in the Ari shaffir skeptic tank like a family company exactly and I'm like guys I can give you gold once in awhile if you let me be fully free yeah I can give you some of your past around NatureBox pissing on Eagles it's fucking healthy hey have a fucking Apple gave him the copy and it's like though the healthiest snacks however she doesn't like irrefutable sponsors like for me Squarespace irrefutable awesome product also, your dick it also come up perfectly they be like it whatever they don't care

comes out of your house really well the ones that zip recruiter that kind of shit yeah I guess and it's like it's fine it's just I make money by continuously focusing on free speech and I'll lose money in some spots and makes fun of other spots and is all just part of it yeah you can't really think about it like only looking to make money every time I make more cuz that Universal growth Paradigm another 24 corporation that I'm going to be doing straight I had to listen to get bored as fucking to lose listener so that I'll be able to make less money off ads in the long run because of that mourad less money as opposed to like you were as more my text it's like how much time do we really have left if we if both of us live another 45 years would be fucking amazing that's 45 seasons of sober Octobers

you know that would be amazing or not this is the last sober up so much done because of the sobriety January to October is the best drinking water in New York in January but New Year's Eve

is technically after midnight you'd still be fucked up and you would my belly is November November Thanksgiving Thanksgiving the memories you have of Thanksgiving gobble childhood they're not alcohol-based no not really you might want some but that's what you really want is if you said no stuffing if I called on us part of it makes getting that's not a big deal what about March March is okay more sober March sure that's st. Patrick day's March but yeah but I'm not a big deal

there's always a Reason by Toby's of one of my all the animal you kids are calm down and going to classes so I can actually the cities back to yours again it's amazing and it's like my password bars like I want to fucking go I want to go to Jay and be like let's go to fucking neighborhood bar it's fucking awful couple days away buddy we're only 10 days left now it's just what's really important so we beat Bert for sure I don't care if you win I don't care if Tomlin as long as bird loses long as I can I can I tell you can we talk about drugs at the UFC for little bit more so with d as always bring the breast wraps

Debbie this time where it wouldn't kick in wouldn't kick it and you look over that feeling that you got time maybe sort of or one of those Jolly Ranchers that they were having excited so I'm eating a Jolly Rancher before the fight started cuz I getting so early with you and just hug and some other guy nobody knew me back then it was like to think something smoking weed Jolly Ranchers and then you look over the feeling that sort of and then you look over again. Is just like in a trance and you realize you are too and you both look at the other go

and you know you brought the devil in you and it was just fucking great and that's I'm not talk about on this is not happening stories where it's like you don't even know who's winning fights you just know you're enjoying watching UFC event. Conversing with kilstein and and and we didn't tell him Red Band knew that part of me you never quite know how people can react to things to you really know them and I could could have gone like it was my place of work you can't you know just a small part of me thinks maybe but then you're texting us where are you guys where you guys sitting wasn't one of those we got bottom Footwear in the fucking stands for that one and you kept looking at us until you found us

this is so good oh man I've never saw students up so clearly remember Forrest Griffin coming in without shipping up to Boston playing and if one cheering and I was like this at the Coliseum we're watching movies like in the Colosseum keep your Van Lines yeah this is the everyone's cheering for blood how we dip in the Romans pretty fucking similar in a lot of ways yeah just a modern more acceptable version of it that you have seen some fucking good it was great you didn't want any food web and sort of took care of your little bit he was like all that I'll have some of the fucking and Dolores cookies yeah we've done I mean I went to a bunch of events outside of the UFC where we got really fucked up on Adam-12 that one in the Playboy Mansion yeah that was fun I missed out on a lot of that like you guys sitting there in the audience had a lot more fun than makes hours of fucking greatness so you take him early and buy the very end

are you just coming down and I was like let's go eat these steaks shroomfest and it's with Duncan and I was like Hey guys mushrooms and he goes on I don't want to want to come out right now I'll pick them up

and man it's so fun there because like you would take them you get bored there's some wrestling fight you know where it's like they're trying to help Point each other and you like let's go wander and you just don't want her to go get a hot dog we put him into a Maynard's which like Jolly Rancher like a gummy whatever weed stick him in there so you can retry there Maynard or you reach in there and you feel something crunchy like a stick and you like okay go for that we just keep eating these mushrooms some random dudes were like hey you want to come fucking tour Skybox at so we went to some Skybox for a while until I got kicked out by security that was from people's I saw a fucking security guard in Calgary as we were going in and already trippin and trying to smuggle these these mushrooms in there and this guy goes hey man happy shroomfest I was like okay you're being cool about it you know about it you let me go look thank you very much Siri I need a cop was fun

great behind great City that Alex Jones been there once and he has given you a cookie because he's a fucking cookie what kind of stupid question is that you don't sign there

how they made him from crazy conspiracy theorist to all tritest I didn't get the connection there when he became United with like Alex Jones game United with Donald Trump right because he was a big part of Donald Trump in in the campaign days and what was the info wars base in Al Jones and help him get elected do you know Donald Trump is very clever and who you lines of soap with like when you see him standing there

listening to Kanye West Kanye West is ranting and saying all this crazy fucking schizo nonsense and he's like this that's smart cookie like he's very smart and when he calls bulshit when he doesn't call bullshit imagine if Kanye West was debating him and they were doing the presidential debate and Connie was talking like that and like what the fuck is this guy saying exactly what I have enough for myself let you talk yeah he's you know I just don't get how you don't realize when when Alex came with us to the to the fight the was no outright but he was more like lizard people or like or like oh it's a fucking government conspiracy 9/11 looks like he was all about certain conspiracies I meant we were in Austin wants when there was a shooting at an army base we were there right with him when

we were at a bar he goes I guarantee you been acting like I live I guarantee they want to talk and then an hour later like they got him about the shot him in the leg and I got to live it harder for this ticket or whatever I'll talk to him no matter what he just and then just that business is a tricky business man now you going to be off the air now it's like well that's where it's fucked up because a lizard person well it's not though because like people were concerned that you're giving out bad information and concerns about it but then with Alex Wood came out was the Sandy Hook thing the Sandy Hook denial thing was when I can't conspiracy I don't get why that's what is a conspiracy involving children being murdered and their parents being actors that everyone was like some sort of a crisis actor and they're hired by the government to take away people's guns this is this is

stand I understand that that's wrong and crazy where do you get from there to you can't be allowed to say these you've been saying is made up things before you're saying it's still don't get why it's a hate Monger you got a really good argument but here's the argument the argument is what is Facebook what is Twitter what is YouTube are they private companies are the most certainly or even more so are they utilities is it like the electricity is it like a phone like what should you be allowed to tell someone they can't use it

like I wonder if Jack said hey I'm shutting down Twitter if the government opening back up again or is it like NBC cuz if NBC is a private company and Ari shaffir says Hey the lizard people are eating kids and that's that stuff to run 60 minutes and they say you're fired but gross and made one fucking bad Ambien joke and they cancelled her they kicked her off of the number for any other that's not true because of the outrage over the first season when she was like she supports Trump yeah but hit but they were looking to get rid of her this whole group was already said we want you out looking for his kids kind of like when they got rid of you at The Comedy Store over filming when it was like come on they already wanted to get rid of you

well and then they found an excuse to get it done that's a tricky argument baywater true but she was telling me how they were changing the way they were writing things and they weren't including her in a process where she was very much clued in the process during the first season when they were writing for the second season they work they're basically excluding her from the process of premises and the way they were writing the show me not read I read all the outrage about early on so I can be your Trump supporter and I read I saw some of the grace I need some young female comedian going like it when when Silverman was like hey watch my friend show or is and she's great great challenge at a party and kiss on the cheek and I'm cool with her and it's like when it's all this outrage over as pro-trump thing and I found that might let me go watch it and my friend Jewish female leftist Morgan Murphy who wrote it

I talk to her later about if I finally washed it and it's 12 characters in the show kind of them don't talk about who to go to for a tall one of them is pro Trump wanted to anti Trump is also a little trans kid on there and that's it just one pro Trump one anti Trump and the outrage that I saw was almost like I don't think you guys could have possibly watch this episode I think you're all reading headlines about story and that's why I talk to Morgan about a mic it doesn't seem like it could have come from the actual facts you know there's a lot of that going on right yeah I feel like it's the same thing with Alex Jones on gang hate-mongering like Alex Jones just crazy conspiracy guy most of it yeah most of the heat longer well yeah that's right sorry my bad. I was some talk there was some talk Alex Jones was saying and one of the one of the last final straws it was talking about people taking up arms and at the p

we're not going to stand it and you know it's it's basically rabble-rousing which is like a lot of what people do when they're they're talking about the other side trying to take away your rights. To take away your guns we're not staying for it you know it you know people going to get shot that kind of talk you don't know specifically what he said but there's a problem that you don't know specifically right there's a problem they can just decide that you represent a certain faction of thought that this should be eliminated from you should be deplatformed instead I think those people are going out to those parents and saying like your kids not dead and it's like a real issue on their own shot two cops in New York does a black lives matter movement you don't shut down the black lives matter movement over that they weren't asking for them to shoot cops Ramadan their own who's also in he wasn't going to do that

garlic bread with my trans woman who said when I hear crazy shit like that I feel like I supposed to roll your eyes and then walk away you don't say hey you need to get gone

well

you know the platforming people that's a good way to put it. That is what they're saying and it is also it seems like it was a university platforming because Twitter was one of the last places that kept him on and then they decided that they were going to remove him but I didn't see anything specific lines and then she was talking about a rape people like how dare you shoot shoot Chichi out of the rape and then and then you depart Wonder from that are you took it out from that and that was the store that was a headline everyone's like how dare you jack is at the guy from Twitter yeah yeah she responded no she. Somebody should get some buddies information about where they live and stuff like that and that's we already had that role you can't do that nothing to do with why she talks them it's just over that why don't you Google what exactly got Alex Jones kicked off Twitter

cuz he wouldn't Twitter was one of the last platforms and then they can say hate speech and hate speech is one of those weird broad broad terms was like I hate you you know okay

I mean I really am like I don't I think people forgetting that the ACLU defended the clan members because the free speech is too big issue to worry about how I feel about what they're saying we know what's really interesting is that left leaning people the leftist are the ones that want to censor Indy platform and silence people in the right it is both I think we see the last one before that bubble I think those the right is doing it so we just don't have no power in technology that the tech companies with his Facebook Google Twitter all left and they're the ones who have the mean this is where it's weird right because nobody saw this coming it was media like you had Fox News you at NBC you had you had your left in your head you write more left and right of sure but there is power in the Fox News in a faction they had their voice but in the end when it comes to technology there's not really an equivalent or is it

how many are all left it's all left there's not one right-leaning large social media platform exist should just stay out of it but I get why that you're going to go to Reddit situation once I got here but suddenly evolved into just child born when you give people an anemone and one guy actually lost his job because of it because somebody decided he just got such a fucking creep piece of shit let's find out what the fuck he is they got his IP and then they figure out who he was and then he was like some guy who was a dad for his like some regular job they got him fired like they had a bunch of weird you know kid fucking type posts and a bunch of shit that just pizza princess like it's almost like role-playing or it's like you're not serious exactly and it's all said running out of the room yesterday or 2 days ago to get a full room randomly

couldn't handle it like to talk about child fucking and stuff like that

behind the curtain baby

there were no babies fucked she'll calm down

well people don't want to hear about that sub driver jokes about people losing socks in the dryer I actually honestly response was not a different response and saying you're going to boycott The Comedy Store because they don't do your kind of Comedy or and you if you want to boycott in the mail so okay but other people too and that this is a problem in that there's no balance right if people are just right cleaning and people want 2D platformer them because they have right-leaning believes right-leaning ideas like say if they support President Trump is the president what you were saying you're allowed to vote for the president and what do you like his policies or not they are his policies he's the president knighted states and if someone supports that D platforming people who support him support that is not the right response the right response is a way

I worded argument Augusta that is convincingly

articulate to the point where you you make an argument that this is a terrible policy a terrible idea in an objective fencerider like myself and watches that and reads it might go okay it's got a good point now that I want to hear both sides but I need to hear that side in order to hear the alternative side that Dave Smith hates all politicians pretty much he's pointing out these like separating their kids from their parents thing and it's like it's gotten real power truck now and it goes okay that's true but look at the picture that username on the bottom right-hand corner there's a date stamp on it and it's 2014 yeah there's definitely a lot of shenanigans so like your anger is not even bring that up journalism this what that is and an online journalism did the Germans fighting for their lives right now and it's also there's no money in it this is a problem is nobody wants to buy newspapers and we want to buy magazines and it's really hard for online journalism to not resort to clickbait mean that's literally how they make their

clickbait shit and so you know they have a photo this is what the stock photo we got a little fucking kid who's crying and he standing in front of the border patrol guy throw it up to use it is what we got stories real the photos not it's it's shit journalism it really comes down to like when you see like a normal Donald for his like okay I haven't done anything to anybody wrong I just want to look at with compassion another human images of pizzas are friends of mine the people I know what do you mean what is be specifically say about Norm Macdonald what he said like Roseanne and and Louie and like they've lost everything in a day and people don't really understand what it's like right and I would like to see these friends human beings friends of mine come out the way because honestly I don't think was the end of that lady was black I don't think she makes a comment and then people go fuck you you can't go tonight show appearance is cancelled yeah and it's like why even do anything or do anything instead of taking that opportunity to go hey let's hear him out maybe you can clarify what you mean even say no I didn't mean

that way I'm at the platform that they do Platform cuz he's women it at our people I don't really know where they were at The Tonight Show had their opportunity to fall on their stored and they go now we get to stand up for women's rights and we can stand up for racial rights well I understand I'm sort of going like what what you mean by that exactly 200 I'm on your side but people don't want that they're more interested in punishment yes and so now you're punishing people who are on your side so you can feel right at the Comedy Cellar a waitress was traveling to fucking work wearing her, I sell t-shirt at the Louie came back and somebody said hey headphones it take her headphones out she did she went and shame on you to some waitress who otherwise not charging coming back she might have

don't know I think a woman not sure but this waitress might have been like heavily against them coming back but there's no research done it's just like I get my chance to show that I stuck up for somebody instead of ruining some other woman's day you might be on your side yeah well this is one of those two finger and valves face after he came back like a fuck you I'm sure they were leaving who's that was one of the managers of the car the seller and it's like a man who hasn't done anything wrong and you're you're you're cursing her out so you can feel like I've done something for the cause this is something that the left does that the right doesn't do the left attacks its own fucking mind I'm on your side you're attacking me for being anti-feminist you're out of your fucking mind they eat their own they can't they have blood left me know how to control that you're not trained and pintucking fighting well they're always looking for targets there was looking for Targets in in finding Anna

ravishing Target you clearly established that you are better and more virtuous in that person because you find a fence in something that they do they're not Progressive enough and they're part of the problem and say cast them out or you shut them down or D platform Alex Jones Lego 8 and it's like I get straw man me into saying I'm saying that's okay that's right that's right I just don't see the connection to death I don't see the connection to Michael Vick killing dogs I'm not on the side of to you shouldn't play football right you haven't made that connection to me and not all you're saying it's okay to kill dogs are no silly why is that job not allowed to do the connection would be if you have a private company this is where we're all boils down to like do you have a right to use their platform so you not taking Alex Jones off the internet right Alex Jones still has a website on the internet but if you have if

Ari shaffir. Com all the sudden becomes Twitter right there's a separate thing go private company I'll be allowed and it's private company should you be doing that should you be doing and it's like I would the laws of I agree with only a portion of the laws in response to that has happened it Reddit that read it has gotten so fucking out there in so many different ways and so like that especially the trumpet section of read it like people let them be there then but people who if you save you own that company you were one of the people that was responsible for trying to sell ads for Twitter or what it was but if you had like established guidelines which couldn't couldn't say one of those things would probably be no hate speech no racism no desk know that but you can't promote false conspiracy

theories that hurt other people right think you could get away with saying that

right so it's not about you it's kind of like that the the the Rose McGowan thing was like no no it's not about you just can't talk to anybody what is this Jamie NPR interview with Washington Post reporter about why it says and when I spoke to somebody at Twitter they said one thing that weighed very heavily on them was the way that Jones conducted himself outside of a congressional hearing where Twitter CEO Jack Dorsey was testifying about the way the company moderate content online Jones specific essentially went after Republican senator Mark Marco Rubio interrupted one of his press conferences he yelled Dorsey at one point as he was trying to leave the building and then he live stream the incident where he was attacking a CNN reporter curling verbal insults at him the video is broadcast on Periscope which is the live streaming site owned by Twitter

and so in the minds the company it essentially was too much did gone too far and so they kicked them off the site I mean I guess you could but you're right it's like sure I guess if they're right but I disagree with them doing it I would I would like a world where you like we don't unless it's physical harm to someone possibly monetary like direct monetary harm like I'm stealing from you it infringes on your rights then do what you want say what you want it doesn't infringe on your right then keep going with the probably comes who's to decide what is hate speech act like who's and whose is it saying retard in a Tom Segura special hate speech

it's it's it's such a slippery slope that the only way to do it is if you infringe on someone's right you've gone too far if you haven't you have not yelling fire in a crowded theater yeah it's it's free speech until you like someone is going to get is getting her from this or that it's very possible they will you can see why they would not just like it might hurt their feelings and make it harder for them to be a kid in this world if you say it's like no no I agree but I also agree that if you are NBC or ABC or CBS and someone says things that you feel violate your company's policies right so if someone promote some outlandish conspiracy theory about children that gets shot in Parkland really never died in their parents are all crisis actors paid by the CIA to siop and you know this person is on CBS you can fire them so is

Twitter like CBS cuz they're both private companies and are the people who are on broadcasting on Periscope and on YouTube are they essentially someone who is mean you kind of are you working with or for YouTube if you're broadcasting on YouTube and how do you look at it I don't think so I think if you're making a video on how to make a bomb like the authority should get in there so you can't do that what if you make me a video about how there's some people out there that are lying about the children being shot same thing if the authorities in if you think it's leading the harm but it's not the company since you do it you should be allowed if your YouTube you don't think you should be allowed to tell someone hey you say a bunch of shit that's not true and it hurts people if you are children were murdered and there's some guy screaming on YouTube that you're a crisis actor and nothing ever

when your kid your kids it's a lie and there's rubber kids in the ground with fake blood and they can prove it with the Hologram you shouldn't be able to remove them from your your platform to remember

what's his name from and by the way I'm not arguing this is the Kansas Pastor what's his name he died Kansas pastor at the church some Baptist Church he would go to funerals of Phelps yeah everyone hates funerals the birth of a child who died and then other people how to do things like create a blockade around their cars and said give us tickets will eventually move but if you know we'll be over

yeah man that's sucky Behavior if you can't stop you from doing it okay we can take you down because you said things that are totally untrue what about the guy who gets caught smoking weed in Iowa Legal state in in Alabama could you fire for that you have it that's a different thing what goes against what we think is okay that's a slippery slope how many percent are you allowed legally yes of course but morally know I think you're a fucking platform for speech so let all the speech in and 4chan got written up as this fucking hateful place we're really they're just trolls and then no one of the best ways to troll is using Donald Trump I found Preposterous where they trolled Shia LaBeouf that podcast yes we talked about it was great it was great is great

yeah you did you just said that they're not a hate group and you like fuck you I don't like that interpretation fuck you nor McDonald I like the interpretation she do know that lady was black

but then you went really far with that but you can't say Norma saying I don't think she was and is not saying pro-trump fuck all of you cook shrimp dock fourchon Assange Bissell fuk with you look at what's with you well they're saying fuck Shia LaBeouf cuz he's is a goof and then they decided to use science and they literally they they they studied the stars in the sky is amazing it's amazing tree had someone drive around and beep their horn so they can triangulate the area where this was taken to an airplane circling overhead took the fight yet they found it somewhere in the world and the podcast was great and it was no hate involved it had nothing to do with political ideology at nothing to do with racism enough to do with hate and people saying oh you're supporting Fortune you don't miss Fortune support Hitler 4chan it's just a bunch of people it's like

they just said in that Park as a fortune does not support the other people let's alarm out with some fucking weird frog no reason I don't like I just pulled a random thing out well most of that frog thing was it was fun yeah and there was a few instances of that frog which were racist or KKK versions or not see version and then people decided that whole frog shirt racing use all the way there in Asia as a good luck sign the vast majority of the use of that frog was not racist the vast majority was feelsbadman it was silly trolling it was just being silly yeah and then there was like you can't go up the Frog you know NPR I think it was NPR Podcast it might have been I'm not sure what the company was there likely I will take it down he does still have it still on like you lose scrotum

downloaded it and then when I went to send people to it I found out on the show on the podcast that has been taken down and I was like you got to be fun at the other places but okay you're weak you allowed to take that down but for someone else to come in and say you can't make podcasts anymore right it is like really dangerous and that could have happened from that if someone it said no we're not going to take it down so and they support for chan4chan sports Hitler Radiolab Sports Hitler so the only answer is you have to have a strong line muscles causing direct physical damage someone that's having allowed to great place to the have never fucking taking that down there should have been like you guys are wrong and you listen to it and it made me laugh so hard hard

science home I can use logic to figure out where that flag was Shia LaBeouf it's people like I can't believe you don't get it you know you you're fucking you always have all these white supremacist on are you alright are you this I mean Everyday People tweeted me with stupid shit like that and that one podcast me sing how great that podcast was in particular people saying what the fuck is wrong with Joe Rogan and I used to think he was a good guy now I think he's a white supremacist to he's a fucking racist he's a KKK person like I was stupid for my favorite books maybe my favorite favorite but like The Fountainhead Ayn Rand and people got like three whole days just never did and I'm like okay okay and I used to sit on it and I'm around all the time myself and then I realize I've actually never read a book read The Fountainhead and it changed my life like not even a little bit to direct

my career as an artist if so you got to read it bro but it's it's it's all about how how to read a chapter of it like they took me a year and a half to read every chapter I sit down I think about it for 2 weeks what I read that the Jordan Peterson talks about her eyes as a philosopher he doesn't like her as a novelist she's like she's great and it shows you a jobber and sort of like Abby Martin RT Harris what's her name which was the journalist I don't want to just take money for reporting I want to actually reel airport now so she's a chart of a true artist at least that moment and none of us can be a fully true artist and none of us are really just full jobbers will have a little bit of artistic taste even the jobbers have the fucking little bit of a coin something interesting you know the full artist it's just it's almost an impossible a hundred percent ideal

but if you can only aim for that if a sponsor says we need you to talk a tone it down to realize like I just gave up another four grand now sorry I can't use you anymore that's what the fuck you money is all about sort of yeah but this guy didn't have fucking money in the fountain Mike's I'll go back to open mics you can't take away my ability to freely do this no matter what so it freed me in terms of like being able to think that way it was really really informative to me but if I just heard these people going fuck her she's a socialist and then you read it like oh I'm not getting what you're saying out of this I'm missing this amazing stuff so the people just a fuck you for channels hate mongers like you didn't really even if you never listen to what they're actually doing do you have reductionist ideology right you just want to do something though he's racist oh he's hateful always this is that that that is that's where ideas go to die and then you eliminate

what is what it is to be a human what else to be a human is to be constantly conflicted to deal with a bunch of different contrary ideas bouncing around your head left and right all the time you know and if you if you want to eliminate the ability to talk to people that you don't agree with boy you're living in it fucking bizarre bubble because you're not going to prove yourself 5 years from now most likely I mean if I had an argument today with your sellers 15 years ago I'd be like Jim and your fucking dumbass yeah you need to stop thinking this way you need to stop doing this you need to look at yourself more objectively you like why I think that and just the fact it was so divisive but like don't listen to the side I'll give easiest argument to me is abortion where it's like we're both sides are pro-life

the idea of life and both sides are also pro-choice choice but you're not hearing it aside so one-sided sang It's a woman's right to choose her body it's her choice it's okay but yes it's your body but later tattoo there's you know there's more to it than just her body and then the other side it's like to human life like okay yes to life but also this chick has to carry it for 9 months it's going to change your whole body or to care it's not just simply it's a life decide to go in and murder and paid rent it's in a few months to actually talk can you guys really talk a tone up to like if no one that just wants the ground the people with the pro-choice or saying no it's a woman's right to choose and the people that are pro-life so you know you killing a baby and if you give up any ground the baby's going to die or I'll talk to you then she's going to have to carry a bunch of kids from people that raped her this is the worst case scenario and extremes on both ends as a Booker

like you need more women like I want to look at hard but you have to understand that I'm not going to hurt my product over I do want the varsity I want diversity of opinion on there I want to worship experience and I want some Australians I want some fucking black people always a dick cuz if our different life experience than I do not forget about my race just as life experience is way different you know Ali siddiq in Byron Bowers both black guys get too far different world for you so I do want that diversity of experience but I'm not going to hurt my get some shit e guys you just was in prison does not tell the story so hard but Meet Me Halfway I will do it but find me quality people but I'll go if I have to go far for it so if somebody cancels on my show and I have 5 white guys don't be like fuck you

the book into the music I got two chicks cancel so meet me halfway well whenever you're looking for diversity as opposed to looking for the best possible product you've got an issue is that is but it should be good and there's no reason why the two are mutually exclusive like the idea that there's only a certain limited amount of good ideas and that, mostly from white people's ridiculous right so there's plenty of ideas that will come from Asians and plenty of ideas to come from all sorts of different ethnicities that are also excellent so it's just finding them but when you guarantee that you're going to have 5 of this and 5 of that that's when you can have a real fucking PL so I had my friend my friend, let's have the weather doing in the in the in the business world is there taking what their industry as the numbers of the same men and women only black and white and Latino whatever his men and women that take the number of people in that industry

and in order to correct an overuse of mail to say or the other way over use of females in like Mystic training you know but let's just say in the business world it's 73 make that up so what you do is they force you instead of space where California is like you must put a woman on your board which means like okay if we just we had three board members one left and we have to hire a woman now wait Bill Gates just became available he wants to work on her board that's hurting my company pay 10% higher rate than the industry numbers so that will be exposed slightly two more of the people that are under-represented and overtime that would correct the issue without hurting any company I have to hear well let me hear why you think you're right for the job and eventually you will hear to be like wow she was actually really good but actually hot here or there but if it still Bill Gates you're probably taking the job over him he's got his fucking

well that's where Jordan Peterson comes in with this equality of outcome of argument in the equality of outcome argument is it it's a dangerous argument if you guarantee equality of outcome but I want to hear you say that women are going to make exactly the same amount as men and so even if the man Works harder the women still going to make the same amount of money that's ridiculous you have to interview Sky me were predominantly black you have to interview interview not hire interview one black candidate before you hire somebody so at least these people get hurt and sometimes you feel like that guy was actually pretty fucking good let's really consider them and then they get hired a little more until just shifts the needle why but the only qualified people would you do what you would want is no racism right no racism no sexism that's ideal I'm not to have to

make some laws for it would be nice that would be but we really would really want is this is never an issue at all you're only getting people that are great at it and that way we have racism was not an issue at all there's no racism whatsoever what you would say is oh look it seems like Asian people gravitate towards this it seems like people of this color or this culture rather gravitate towards this activity I wonder why that is and stay instead of saying why don't you hire more white people you see it seems like white people aren't really interested in that job and New York is the variation job of large financial institutions you would say this is ridiculous that it's all this and I'm not that ideally it would be a fascinating social experiment or so

observation to find out what genders what sexual orientation what race was what ethnicities gravitate towards specific jobs if those jobs didn't have a hierarchy of desire right if there wasn't some jobs are far more desirable mean one of the arguments I had really early on in Hollywood was with this guy he was a really nice guy but he was Asian and he was saying there's no fucking rolls for Asian actors this is bullshit and I was like okay why don't you make rolls is like it's not that easy I go I get it I understand it's not that easy but do you think that someone should have to write an Asian leading man because you have a hard time getting a job like what should they do like how should it be special rolls for ugly people true like what about you know what about people who are dwarfs

that is the question it's not whether or not the world is fair it's not fair at all white guys are playing in the NBA that's not fair either weird shit that just happens to be reality what do you do to correct that and you know he was really adamant that Hollywood is racist they're not hiring Asians to be leading man and Asians that I'm like okay I see how it be frustrating for you as an actor but if you if you're a screenwriter and you're a guy who writes a story about a white guy moves into a haunted house and you know he falls in love with this woman and I buy a house together in the Real Housewives of being caught in this monsters you're saying should you should someone have to change that to an Asian guy so that you get a job that's all so simplistic because it's like it sucks. Not hearing the other the other arguments okay sure that I could be anybody anyways but if me I'm at Hollywood I'm a guy making this one movie and if I cast an Asian

I'm probably going to make far less money than if I cast a guy who looks like most of the movie ticket purchasers the white guy or a famous person would you not to sell Fisher absolutely so that it's like you want me to correct what Hollywood is what I'm up Hollywood I'm just this producer for this movie yet because that's something that my friend Frankie Rizzoli said to me once he said there's no Hollywood that's why I said about the AIDS cure but they make me what they make more money in selling dr. Luke doctors group one doctor had it he would be a billionaire. If you just released the Cure what this is the main problem with conspiracy theory is that everyone's working together I think that everyone's working together as a part of some Grand thing to keep the knowledge that the world's flat away from the general public like that kind of stupidity but that comes from a lack of understanding of how human beings interact with each other and it

how magnificent a discovery so gigantic would be to the one person that exposed it that person is going to keep their mouth shut for what fucking reason with that in mind there is a thing that when you interview a white lady or a black dude for a job a lot of times you're a predisposition towards those race or gender is going to be like I don't respect you as much as your mind is there I'm kind of like disrespectful though I don't think you have to brain that someone who looks different has so now you're like not letting them get the part or get the job they would have gotten out the part that really you're smart no way through God like writing direct his own thing like What actors are fucking idiots

did with Sling Blade he couldn't get job so I have this crazy character I'm going to swingers exactly Jon Favreau decided to make some sort of we just make sure he played and it wrote it and he brought it yeah but he did go to a major Studio but you can't mandate creativity creativity is a different element feels like it look how many fucking books has Stephen King written about Maine like it's every other book it's about me and you can't tell him he can't write a book about Maine because people from Kenosha Wisconsin or upset and they think that your you know your location is but I do like what they do in the UK in there like the first year of Black Mirror which is uk-based

they don't they just let black guys play roles it's not that I'm playing black person they're just like his mixed race couples that they're just people there wait for their long that we are comes back and says their social consciousness of Psych ice in general they don't see race is month to English English English you know it's really hard still we actually saw was you that last but in terms of black and white there there which is way more like hundreds of people that's interesting earlier I'm not sure my way back at the Moore Insurance there but like I don't know it's just not as bad as us for whatever reason I'm not really sure the causes but then people black guys can just play a role he wasn't arguing about that with with black mirror that I thought I found was kind of silly someone saying I'm sad about a black mirror because it's like every show has a woman lead and every Chicago step away and look at

shows their fucking fantastic. It shouldn't matter but that someone who is so upset by this whole idea of diversity and enforce diversity that they're looking for it and when it's not relevant because it's the actual work itself is so good she like you shouldn't say the new Ghostbusters suck his all women you just had a new Ghostbusters suck because no one was calling for a remake of it and it sucked Star Wars the new Star Wars like when you had Carrie Fisher and Laura Dern will at the major generals and you like what doesn't even work like maybe it doesn't work because it wasn't written well and because they didn't really pull it off but you're telling me you couldn't have some bad ass chick like Sigourney Weaver when she was in Aliens who dominate the film nobody gave a fuck that she was the lead or look up Cubs game of thrones

yeah Omar from The Wire who is gay and black like no one cares what because it was just like he nailed it but then how do you not see it in Black who's going to be great in this and also give a representation of you can't make all the gangsters white cuz it be unrealistic can I mean seen this in comedy to write we see there's a difference between in force diversity and people who just happen to be diverse but a brilliant true and we've seen this where where they're trying to enforce like certain aspects of mustaches you're going to make your product worse yeah I mean how many times have we seen this and people will say Hey you know why aren't there more women at The Comedy Store why are there more this why aren't there more that whoops oh yeah but that lady you said like Whitney Cummings only got three spots last month explain that and like what you're doing is accusing but if you're actually asking why would he come in three spots last month is because Whitney Cummings called in for three spots last month

every spot she wanted she will tell you that if you're asked to her face she's one of the ones whose car blocked so with you you don't get there certain people you get the spots they want yeah so she's one of them so the answer is she busy chance yet exactly the answer is almost always comes from people who suck if you look at their art they're almost always bad it's just a fact they want that was a bunch of sucky guys who aren't killing every set like doing was sure I know going there must be a reason other than what's on me why I'm not as big as him you know how about the good looking thing that's off me I have no control over that and it's really like to do that killed 19 times that are 20 and you kill 2 out of 20 like can you possibly say it could be based on that it's the people that are complaining or almost

never doing well anyway so this is why they complaining are they I mean what what's what's going on you're not going to hear certain people young and your Bill Burr complaining about other people doing the Blackhawks to do well they're all successful usually you guys if you're doing well on stage consistently as a black comic there's no question you'll be you'll be doing up you'll be making dr. mahida, me in many ways is very very egalitarian in that way you really funny or you're not as black ones black, to do something so I can so I can that doesn't relate to certain white audiences like I just can't figure out that has rooms for them there's a lot of the Mexican ruffled I do half a punch lines in Spanish that wouldn't Play Store Comedy Store but it would play in certain audiences Miami he would do Spangler in Spanish people follow the fucking chair laughing and white guy

I swear good luck I don't want to fall someone dirty I not realize this is been going on as a reason to be like off me why I'm not doing well and it doesn't I think the real sexism especially for women is having to work with a bunch of people that are trying to fuck you all the time especially I think at open mics when you're already ready to quit anyway you're about ready to quit and now this fucking these creeps around and there's no one to talk to and if I can cross the coffee shop on it for real sign up for open mics there's a giant percentage of them they're out of their fucking mind so if you're some girl who already feels vulnerable around men to begin with because you're smaller and eat at the end you of your a target for

Snow Patrol around like mad I called if you're lucky to get 3 minutes and you're still no matter what 5 years was making a dollar so it's like you know what fuck it I'm done if Mary Lynn rice Cup today gets harassed she's not going to quit right still making money you know she might not come to the store anymore he does anything about it but people would just look it up there's a place to go to for like heading to get rid of this guy anymore and that's just comedy I mean with any job when she will also with men men fucking stupid okay if you're working with a man and you're nice that man he assumes you want to fuck them cuz this out this is evolution to start work for the next two days to a guy and get some coffee the guy thinks she wants to suck his dick cuz it's stupid because this is how we're program what program to think that women

you are nice to us if that woman is attractive she must be sending a signal she wants sexual tension it can't just be some completely platonic workplace situation that's not possible because 8 hours a day when your work with someone else you develop feelings and thoughts and ideas about that person I realize that we're not we're doing the nasty show in Montreal and there's always young interns some of them women and you know thank you for cheaper than old people to tell you stand by you get this idea and you're there a week early for my buddy Elsa nasty shows start way earlier so you pretty much the only English speaking show all the French stuff is going on and these interns come out and be like oh I think I can talk one of them and then it hit me like oh wait that's awesome male entrance you also showing up to the shows and you're like oh they're all just, defense and I'm reading in

these Winnemucca flirting brother coming when they're saving the exact exact same behavior as the men were coming we're coming through like I want to hang out with the comedian and they might want to look at it might not but I'm putting something on them only because of their gender and then it's like a step back you can't talk any of these people must be what it's like if you're the manager of an office and there's a woman who works for you and a guy who's fat and gross and they're both exhibit in the exact same friendly Behavior towards you you don't assume the fact I want to suck your dick and then and then also take it that you can still hook up but they have to do all the work the under leg has to do all the pushing you even though I don't think you can in an office environment and keeps pushing you can't you could be like what are you doing this weekend everybody and I think I'm going to move you want to come like anybody else want to cut like you really not push and put them in that position

take advantage of that on both sides advice and he was talking to me about this woman who is making these like really obvious flirtations she was trying to have sex with him and he contacted one of the other guys that he works with that is also there need not fuck her like she is upwardly-mobile like what she was doing strength fuck her way up to the top she did it to this guy and then she called sexual harassment on them after she flirted with him and his Rex Anthony some advance that she shouldn't have and some some nonsense when I people are political some people are very calculated into some people are sociopaths and they exist with vaginas they exist with penises just this is part of being a person or some people are just bad people but there's also some women who like power and that's not wrong either that's what it's like I owe your manager by its justifiably

do you want to fuck you a little more and so that's okay too and power and we hate those women but we don't hate the men who like to be in power that's a weird thing to like a woman wants to run shit while I was crazy bitch want to run everything where is a guy who wants to rush it seems totally normal I will say it's a bigger wrong

it's like what are you most likely want to avoid you know and it seems like a bigger wrong for someone to have to like worry about getting fucking not something I would do their job versus oh the chick wants to see if she wants to get ahead yeah well that's easy to avoid for the guy it's just no physical threat at you know easier than ever Physical Therapy anytime you want it's not the same stop it I mean in last year it's like really a mess and you know you just vulnerable psychologically physically all the above your right now you're an operation yeah yeah I know how to correct it but like we were lucky we don't have to work with people all day matte beat people in a fucking office environment they're working around people all day and people have some weird shit and then you go to the company Christmas party and some guy who works with your wife has some creepy shit to you cuz you know he's been like he's been covered in you

wife behind your back and you know he wants her and you know he's he talked shit about you to her and she tells you and that kind of shit is so normal man because you think about how many hours are in 24 hours in a day 8 of them you're sleeping okay so how much time is commuting how much time is work most of your day is at work so your life is not your spouse you might not hook up with them but you're interacting with them and then do you think with people sometimes talk about me to going too far but let's talk about for a second like me to going the right level do you think we don't work in office job so we're just guessing right you think sexual harassment it down now and last year men who are creeps are probably a little more cautious I'm ever after them and see a video

people all over open mics for calling each other out on it and then occasionally it was a question of it went too far we like you stole that joke from is actor we both talked about the same movie you're trying to write me off my whole career off because I talk about you know whatever with wolves and so are you but your thing was about the Native Americans your thing was about the fucking the dog they had until I'm sure once you are here there but was nice where it like it was no longer acceptable to steal jokes yes and we're going to tolerate fucking Patton ass exactly and everyone else even the guys like dude no did I couldn't imagine being a man or rather than I could imagine being a woman working for a man who wanted to fuck me and me getting a raise me getting some sort of upward movement in my career depend upon this person making a decision and the Spurs

trying to fuck me he'll be disgusting and that's what a lot of women have to deal with all day long and that's only one step of it how about the fucking Bill Cosby step how about you can't Rings your fucking drink alone that's a reality with a lot of women that's not a reality with you or me but I was trying to rape us

I mean there's a lot of shit about women have to think about that we don't have to think about a lot many many many many many many many things I thought I want to be stupid like you just want to believe the best in the world and people and so when you're like this act like no it's not like you're the problem you're not doing it you just don't want to believe it was so removed probably some kitten got chopped up by some you know some monster Bryant let me know the world is everybody smokes pot almost everybody drinks you know everybody's a deviant everybody is impossible for them to have a regular job every single one of us that successful as a comic it's virtually impossible for any of us to have ever existed in an office environment and survived we're too fucked up but we're perfect for comedy you know I mean solar us

I was talking about office politics in office environments are still have no idea really what it is. It's why I think it's funny when people say like 5 or something where it's like it was a Comedy Festival so it was at their job it's like oh no no no no you just don't understand what the count is if it was a workplace then then then you would have to say like by the way I actually do people do Coke at the workplace warehouse job actually consensually fuck doing work I don't work place like that happens to a lot of pot smoking at our workplace yeah I like it's not it's not it's my workplace has a designated pot smoking place and now where we are going to Green Room anybody but you can't you can't smoke yeah it's not it's not well it's still have the right to say no and you should it's all like it here's the thing like say if you're Tom and Christina you're married together you could fucking The Green Room absolutely like the door and was going to stop you

she can fuck in the workplace yeah you could that's not an issue if people fucking to bring all the time you know you're the manager and she's a secretary in the office to get fired for that even if it's your wife not allowed to do that a real worked at work if they ever got fired not allowed what do you do at work fuck them other like we caught you on camera. So what I did was that a problem I didn't rip his way out of it and it's slow and I think the conversation gets sidetracked when you you you had on punishment too much when someone people don't punish me with this person needs to go away I said can we get back to the fucking same thing of Michael Vick it's when you're talking about whether he should be like football it's like now you decide traffic from just saying

don't kill dogs I'm on your side but like oh now you sidetracked me to go no need to be loved like football that has nothing to do with it let's just get back always to the argument like this make it safer for chicks in the workplace let's not let a black guy not get hired when he's deserving you know let's fix that stuff punishment sidetracked as you can still talk about it but not when your emotional I think one thing that we've come within this conversation is a job suck. Do so no one should have them because if you have them people want to fuck you that you work with yeah I think that's the that's the solution to shut up I can't help you or hurt you if people are just this Fringe there's loud French people like that you know that's just one one of my favorite tweets that I saved us from this feminist woman that said all white males are trash unless proven otherwise

all women are consulates proven otherwise that's a bad person she like the answer to I don't know why she's been in charge forever is not fuck these people over who I wasn't here for forever like people just need to stop talking and it's like a complete lack even in judging white people even in judging white males even in judging white males in the position of power should be no racism there should be no discrimination and I should be up early early last time I like how you feel a black lives matter I haven't heard about it yet what does supergrass of look of course black lives matter

three-word summation of the whole argument black lives matter or all lives matter Bernie Sanders said black lives matter and he said why and people I call you Super Progressive we love you Barney you playing by the rules that we've established in you saying the things that we make you say of course all lives matter but black lives matter as well so do yellow lives matter also it's too it's too crazy to its and work as a slogan if you go hey we need to figure out why black people are getting shot at a higher rate in the percentages then white people by cops so we need to like curb. Immediately we need to make it somewhere where you can actually trust the police to represent you all and not have a fear of them that's on the slogan you throw out but if you said that the new complex conversation about systemic racism in communities where like in Baltimore where they literally establish zones were black people couldn't buy homes in three words

giant cultural issues to be addressed on literally a nationwide scale interested in building Nations and helping people in Afghanistan and India giving Aid to Saudi Arabia and all these different fill in the blank with whatever it is they not fixing the southside of Chicago Baltimore house in Flint God damn it has to step in and say he's going to fix your water and by the way you and I

but we have no idea about the backstory to and how to fix a weird isn't worth it so just worthless and solutions neither neither one of us have any skin in the game with Jack but we're not doing anything really wrong to people hurting anybody but if we want to look at things objectively that is a real valid

argument real valid point of discussion it's like short black lives matter but you know what else matters really bad communities that have been bad for decade after decade after decade in an IP address by any politicians are not being addressed by any Community leaders no one is stepping in and saying hey before we do anything involving any other country we got to fix all the problems we have right here and they can be fixed they can be fixed and it might take decades it might take years I don't know how long it's going to take but it's not going to be fixed at all if we do nothing but I mean if we go see far as a pendulum is heater we want it back in the middle so it's just have to swing like a little too far then come back when will talking about me too and in sexual harassment and rape in all the stuff I think one of the things that we're dealing with this information to distribution of information is occurring at a rate that's unprecedented it's never been like this before and I think there's a real step that's going

apple with human beings where you're not you're going to be able to literally read minds and this is going to happen through some sort of a merging with humans and Technology Elon Musk believes it's going to be this thing that he's he's releasing something in the next few months called neural link and this normal link is going to somehow or another increase the bandwidth between people and information at a rate it's going to literally change what human being is and the way he was explaining it was very vague but you know when you talk about a guy like Elon Musk and the insane ideas that he has Bounce Around inside his fucking robot brain I believe them and I believe this is one step just like no one could have it ever predicted the internet in 1960 no one ever would have thought other than I think Malcolm mcluhan some people that's my daughter so those some people at some ideas of what what could possibly happen but

no one no average person saw this coming and I think no average person is going to see these next stages of the integration between human beings and technology and one of them is going to be some sort of a translation device some sort of a translation device that translates not just languages but thoughts and a universal language that is bad it's defies economic boundaries political boundaries Geographic boundary something that everyone going to be able to understand like the real problem Tower of Babel argument is it you know if someone talking in Bangladesh and someone's talking in Japan someone stalking in America there's so many different ways of saying things it's too hard to understand the mall no one knows all the languages

and some French I think but it's it's mother died yesterday or the day before I can't be sure and they have to have arguments about Jews mother she's mom should use mama like which one is the actually meaning in French and not just get like a sterile one but I think this is one of the giant problems with whenever you're dealing with nationalism whenever you dealing with this idea of the other that someone from another place is different than you don't matter nearly as much as I don't know you're not getting hired for is a perfect example because they're using drones to launch missiles into a country that we're not even supposed to be at war with Syria insurgence a 6 year old little girl is dead but I Himes a thousand right but if one died because like but it's not

okay it's not happening in Chicago or San Francisco it so it was not drones launching into the East Village so because that's not happening we don't think of it is a concern of ours in this I think these hurdles these are informational hurdles as much as their geographical hurdles and their language hurdles and these are these are hurdles of understand and I think as our realm of understanding expands and we get a better understanding of the idea that we really are just human beings in different places and that you are no different than me and I'm no different from some kid who lives in China and they were all just human beings and then whatever our differences are they pale in comparison to our similarities and also the random chance that you were born in Maryland and I was born in New Jersey and his Randomness and decide either you take pride in that is so foolhardy and so ridiculous and the idea that somehow another wear on some sort of a tribe and this is something

human beings Lalique Wayne to for security and safety and we go with tried left and tried right and we go with try Progressive and tribe conservative and we go a tribe American tribe Canada and Mexico it's all foolishness I think that's technology expands that will be more and more Preposterous and you're starting to see this with even though the way people view religion if you want the people from just a few decades ago how many people in this country thought they were how many identified as atheist it's quite a bit last and today quite a bit more identify wood today because you start to understand more about religion is Google people can I'm in Bill Maher and Sam Harris Rex we talked about this in a podcast recently cuz they were talking about the 10th anniversary of Religulous Bill Maher's documentary in the middle really good pointed Google came along and when Google came along people are allowed to and then research the history of Mormonism where they never really could before they go wait he was

teen and 1820 Lee and Joseph Smith was just a kidney belt made up a bunch of find me a 14 year old that's not bullshit and that's way more impressive and then Scientology and and and many of you know many of the chapters in the Bible when people look at the difference between the New Testament the Old Testament who wrote it and why and then and how many passages were removed and edited by human being so you decide the work of God like what gets to be released and what's not all that stuff is in that fire spreading and I think that it's an informational tool and these this I think that's when you realize it's like me to win it really does get out or like wow I didn't realize how I got it done and we think about how many women you like to do were talking about this a long time ago you like come on

relax honey it's okay I know you like to fuck I guess it is really bad about that when I was at Newsradio yeah I was always a mess I don't know maybe think about it like in terms of like terms has a beautiful person like that with my sister or my mom that's another reason to wear I'll try to put myself in the place I'm pretty good at like I mean see me tell stories I got worked up you know I could put myself in a place I was hurrying to imagine so I'm pretty pretty good and so it's like yeah if we just missed your mom a girlfriend or wife daughter going to work you'd like to talk to you so mad but in the same thing when I hear about like I don't know like Louie

as my sister is like told me that I like when you did what you see awesome time was it all the position is benzocaine still don't have to go through it if it's wrong but like his levels you really hear about all the stuff now and you like what terms of someone like Louie this got to be a Road to Redemption and this is one of the problems with people that are so fucking angry is that they don't think there's any Road to Redemption they want but the Michael Vick thing is different is Michael Vick tortured and murdered then murdered murdered going to do this for what I did he served his time he lost his freedom for 4 years yes so his job that he had before has nothing to do with it but it does come down to people going I'm not

do with you suffering yet okay say it with Louie think it's a different represent killing of course you just creeper but like not even that I don't think that like but like pervert I guess what are you I don't hang out with you for 2 days ago and drinks with them you start getting like the idea so I can I hook up a threesome and then like that sound enough reason to go for it's okay you're right I got any more signs to let me say you want to go out for drinks and I do once I still know it's on lovers of the signs that you know you're right you're right oh I know I'll buy them up to my hotel room that's usual for universal sign and they're coming they came to my hotel room now that's not enough you're right you're right you're right all these times not it up tell you what I'll just ask outright can I fucking jerk off in front of you and they said yes no that's still not enough what are you talking about

here's that so now not creeper but he represents things to people just like Roseanne represented Trump when she said if she has a character voted for Trump in diction to show too because their representative evil gets women they go just get rid of that representative right and they're not seeing him as a human being that people actually know that is a human as a person if someone says yes if you ask can I beat off in front of you and they say yes and then never said no no I was just get just leave the yes out there

we're done hair done did you see us so if I give a girl says can I can I play with my pussy in front of you and you go yeah and then she doesn't go well that was fucking disgusting and I can't believe this happened I'm going right to the wait a minute did you say yes here's one thing is if this is an aggressive angry person attracts you to Roomba function of the blue can get out when we can get out of shrooms you let this guy beat off in front of you and you you fearful of your life people don't really most people don't really care I saw him on stage like crazy they were so happy I'm going to go fuc yeah yes yeah just two jokes jokes we just want to see what we loved about you 2 years ago 10 months ago were done with that you did your crime or we still hate you is nothing to do with my Richards are you at your job you just yell. Race of shit but like but like nobody nobody nobody likes him on stage

what is it yeah you right so it's like I'm on this thing about me is you know there's got to be some path of redemption for everybody for everybody I mean human beings very Wild Bill Cosby not go up at a prison talent show this agree to what he did versus this job you know I mean if you Pete Rose bet on baseball he hurt the job he was doing so. You like you can't be in baseball anymore cuz you fucked over baseball

but did he fuck over baseball by betting on it yeah he's a show he like puppy threw some games or some games do you like uses relievers in consideration she wouldn't have but he can't use them tomorrow because October baseball so you baseball on fashion story if you steal jokes yes maybe there is a path to Redemption maybe but you fucked over jokes what you fucked over other, yes so you still over the experience or talk about getting back with you but that guy can go to the supermarket he can work at another job because that is not that you haven't show me a connection to another job see the thing about the joke stealing thing and this is where it gets really really weird is there's no real punishment other than people deciding they don't like you cuz you're a joke thief and a good time I can't wait to take you down so I can steal cars

you know that thing is ethereal that thing is a little different because you can still do your jokes still have car you can have the car in front of you like we know and see it and does your headlight you're at your closing bit on purpose, the fuk with you he would do closing bits that went Freddy fucking with Bobby wants

and he was like how you going to loves me he would fuck with Bobby Bobby Lee we out here but it wasn't ready to you yeah it was the fuck with Bobby he looked out for him so hard and I could never get it you're going to love this guy does is joke about selling corn the side of the road was like young so good as it sounded a bit about about his dad tells bit he would just tell the ending punchline does bit the only and only one moment that I ever saw but it was like fuck you got me bad

yeah I mean they were bitter enemies it was about writing

not in the mouth to somebody a long time before starting its way. But like they hate each other back then Freddy hated Bobby Bobby paid in the back only because the thing about people getting caught it's like the punishments real though it's almost better than going to jail yeah it's like we don't know about you know not only do we know about you now but the public knows about in the distain is palpable and I was real and you see it not just with him not to submit see it but there's a few of them and you can tell a difference to between somebody going back I took that guy's joke vs. Guy takes jokes then I mean we all just know that guy steals jokes you know it's not possible it's like over and over again like such a Clarity 2 in the difference between the jokes that come up with on their own and a joke so they steal and sure you can keep going up you can still sell theaters so you're punished

is we know about you can you cancel out the other stuff that's what happens to them eventually but so what I'm still do name 110 CoQ10 you to sell theaters while he still thinks it off I'm actually but a lot of people die off too but during while it was happening there was no real he was still doing math and numbers Mencia still doing living better than most a level Comics even know how do you mean you can right now actually he still makes more money than than Mike vecchione does you know them really good, isn't big J does you know probably still makes more money than I do to be honest you know I'm doing its greatest have ever done but like so it's like it's the end of the respect of your peers that's a big deal with us talking about this in the back of the comedy store me I was talking about a bunch of shit he's going through and splitting up and all this and that Eagles listen at the end of the day all I give a fuck about do I have the love and respect

my peers. Don't have it and some crazy kind of sounds better you can take jokes and do whatever but like

never going to look up to you and that's what you want yeah nobody hates Larry

nobody hates Larry he's like lame but nobody hates him Larry the Cable Guy what is this I did this thing you help me like organize a little door or arrange my head

where I was really stoked on the experience La people have with medical marijuana and I said

it's not fair that other people can have this experience of taking these breast strips are UFC how great it is and I was like I'm going to have an event called hunt for the edible and I am going to hide marijuana have a scavenger hunt at first I thought like I have some clothes and we'll come to me I'll give it to him like a couple do that and come to your neck to point the point of going to hide this so I would hide

try me drugs but the only marijuana I want some mushrooms but I got at UFC's I would have access to it beforehand when we went to the MGM it for the weigh-ins have to shut down the other half I could just walk through freely and I would hide it would take these breath strips

to somewhere the first ones underneath the bathroom sink in a fucking in one of the bathrooms and draw Clues on Twitter released them every 5 minutes plan. I had time for one was like do you want to get high go up a level and is it okay if people would like run up people got into it they run up levels and then until this guy was like I think it's right here at this bathroom sink they looked under it on did it had a note in there with the proper dosage over it and it became such a fun fun time I got to assume the powers-that-be knew about it and said nothing to plausible deniability don't know I don't care did I promote it to tell people and I don't think so or something but he was so fun for me and I would do it over and over again and never go back I'm never looking times where I would go it would I would tape it to like a a pillar somewhere I like the Pearl and I would go to see if it's found in order to assure

like I was looking at he didn't know I was going to hit it you know he would just go what you're looking for is no longer here because I guess a bunch of people kept coming to this pill over there with all the clues no one said it someone once said its found now cut the game later I would go in and delete all the clues I'm not looking to fuck over the cops or anything like that but it was so fun one time nobody found one I was leaving I'm still here I'm fucking taking it off using myself but are you sad hi two of them underneath the fucken fire extinguisher something like that that one time

somebody found it and then came down and sat like right behind me and Chandra and then these these Usher / security guards came and found the guy and said hey I need you to come with me and they took him out and I was like fuck he kept his naughty one like it was just got in front of me and I sat there for about 30 seconds and I was like I got to go I got to go fucking

I got to turn myself in on this yeah and she was like I'll figure it out and then I went up there and they are just moving our seats because the Mall of America I got outside the UFC was in Winnipeg was not of the UFC was just at comedy shows but the UFC experience was so fun for me to give these people the drugs that I took and I want you to experience this heavily blown out on weed experience and I me and Diaz get to do and it was fun to spread that Joy it really was fun was when my favorite memories of this UFC's you could do that again now that it's totally legal

oh maybe you're right California and Nevada they're both lie silently legal legal eagle Massachusetts legal eagle all candidates ran over 17th Canada fucking went Whole Hog. What if I could do it again salute Canada salute you bad motherfukers you have finally finished rooms that's a beautiful thing they did they made it legal to 1 Hour 1 hour before the first guy got pulled over smoking weed in this car before you get in the car you idiot stupid don't be ridiculous time to figure out that I could combine the UFC and comedy nights

Spot somewhere let's just make a couple bucks we start doing it I remember I think honestly when we did like the Pearl or something Cort McCown would be like hey if you want to come in and do a set you can like McDonald rera I'd like that with me you him how Kevin James and just like the common bar Ghostbuster I hated this club but was common bars work the best we were but we could sneak around back we can get mobs and then eventually was like hey instead of just doing occasional guest spots why don't we do clubs and the clubs we get full ammo guide Tori doing something maybe in Omaha to midnight Friday show you don't want to bump anybody but then you would schedule it months and months out so nobody was scheduled and then just one night anyway and it was just became like we're not wasting time UFC stuff working if you ever want to do this again man we could do some headlines

I got to give up time to go do that for what time it was your liking you come to Dallas you know the sex shows that are important to you it might not be the most money or anything but it's important to you case in point I went to do the Wilbur my first time doing the Wilbur you know and I was one of the ones I remembered you do any opening for you in and I'm doing two shows at the well don't like this is I want to show Boston's again important, DC so that I was like I need to get like a really good open are just some but I got your list so that your headliner I need you to open for me and luckily he been open for Louie and his schedule became clear but I'm doing the San Francisco County festivals account you can pay 200 bucks not about that I agreed to know if I give you $5,000 I'll cancel now

phone right now and I'll go ahead and finish line chance cuz it would be more fun at some fucking fun times mad when I talk to people about the role that got all the road is lonely the roads are like you doing it wrong supposed to do with your best friends do some fun shit with it I try to stay later on Sunday and go hiking if it's like a diamond Austin fucking stay in the warmth little bit of something fun that's a good move you know but yeah but you and your friends at work it's too hard to organize and get over to get in too much pressure on me cuz I got a lot to deal with this I just want to be that ministrator to one person is fine. You brought a second opener because the one over there was so irresponsible you can trust that he be there but he was so brilliant that I refuse to not hire him whenever I could work

get someone else but you know I'll get a buffer in case my feeling ideas is always at like I have a special I've always had a special place in my heart for him cuz I he reminded me so much of my friend Johnny Johnny B from New York who died player is brilliant guy who had a really hard time with reality with with with life with civilization he was just butt in those moments of Brilliance he was worth everything to me so I was like what I'm going to try to do with this guy is I'm going to try to somehow or another because I had I was in mainstream I have a television show clubs that I can headline I'm like I'm going to bring this guy into the world and I'm going to show him how I do it and I'm going to like indoctrinate him I'm going to I'm going to do you know me he's older than me and I respect him and I'm not like a mentor to him but I am

who was more advanced in comedy and but was a giant fan of Joey Diaz I was like I just want to figure out a way where that you can work for this guy cuz I know if this guy passes out there hustling and and being crazy and I got Coke it's just it's going to go off the rails like whatever I can do to it and I think it helped him that someone who was established who was a guy who legitimately me don't give a fuck what he did I wanted him to be proud of yourself I never cared about what went on I wanted I wanted fun for everybody like that was in was important for me that I'll be the only one that's one of the biggest poisons ever with Comics be the only of money won on the headliner I'm the only one who kills and you guys are doing too well or you guys are doing too much time for me it was like go have fun but we're here to party this is a pixie Point Denver once when I I mean I just had way too long

44 minutes and red bands like to do like 45 minutes looking for just didn't realize he's like you did 25 or 30 but that's such a good club account Wars Legos I recorded it on video I can show you the starting point in the any point I need it I was like I'll fuck I told you this before but but I was like dude I'm so sorry that was way wrong I'm really I'm really sorry just know it didn't matter I might now but I shouldn't do that you know you killed and then I went up and killed so you haven't made a connection to me where it does actually matter we both killed why is it an issue if it goes off the rails one time and you go long I cook is a shit out of something the whole thing all of us should be processed rice and have fun and the audience has a great time that's what I all that's all I wanted and like in to have also that stand up wasn't something that I had to do for

money like stand-up was almost like supplementing weather was news radio show all this money that I owe my bills were okay I was okay I do have to think about it so I didn't worry about getting kicked out of clubs I didn't worry about not getting booked like so what like we're going to have fun and we rolled through the entire country like that and it worked. It was fun. Damn dude we had the time of our lives when you look back if we look back as you know it senior citizens at the fucking the rare great times that we had consistently all across the country stuff great for me on stage I was getting more stage time that I would get in the LA and I was getting this weird exposure to Nashville the crowd reckovic experiment pausing I wouldn't be afraid of losing a crowd if I show that I do and a half hour consistently two shots

Commerce the first time I like how is that she goes it's not fair they're laughing at setups it's just too good at it doesn't make sense and it's a Victory lap you should enjoy it and then I remember like I think I might have been the first time I want with broken was I was doing so well but he's like oh you're coming with me again it was almost like like it was unfair showcase you know that I already knew you were funny but I was like this is the perfect club for anybody to try out in cuz it's so sad that a wind assisted a hundred yard dash with heavy gusts of wind yeah they were fun that we had a great fucking time dude but it and it works look I mean look how all the people that went with us whether it's Diaz or Dunkin or you or Segura there murdering now all over the country murdering doing quite well if I was a talent scout dude I be a hundred percent know you would not think Carter

black man very very unfortunate that was seeing it right now Bert Kreischer your behind by a thousand points motherfucker I'm doing a lot of reading of the journal in New York November 11th at the screenplay Wroten College Lariat fix my you're my favorite when you're angry at how far is my favorite all right

that's that's my favorite re I got a European tour coming November and November 16th starts in Reykjavik and it ended December 9th in Zurich and all sorts of cities so great. Com for tickets I love to see you out there Brussels to Amsterdam Copenhagen all sorts of places and 10 more days and then do that hair on 10 more days and then we're going crazy I can't wait will be the wrap-up show where someone besides Bert Kreischer will get that championship belt make it work out right now I might go work out right now I have to twist a blade alright bye buddy

thank you everyone for tuning into the podcast and thank you to our sponsors thank you to zoom. Us video conferencing the way it should be you motherfukers if you already use zoom you know what I'm talking about if you do not find out today visit Zoom. You asked to set up your free account mean happy with zoom Video Communications set up your free account today at Zoom. Us thank you also to the motherfuking cash app the number one app and finance and one of my favorite apps. I fucking love it and you can download the cash app for free and get your cash card for free on the App Store or the Google Play Market now and of course when you download the cash app enter the referral code Joe Rogan all one word you will receive $5 in the cash app will send $5 to Justin brands

fight for the Forgotten charity building Wells for the pygmies in the Congo and last but definitely not least we are brought to you by the very underwear that crate on my sack and junk right now me motherfukin undies me on these folks the best underwear you will ever fucking where 100% satisfaction guarantee what what more do you need you got to love these underwear and if you're not meundies would do whatever they can to get you into the right pair and if they can't you keep them there were fund you it is risk-free try to best underwear ever to get 15% off your first pair free shipping and 100% satisfaction guarantee go to meundies.com Rogan that's me undies.com Rogan okay that's it for today post damn we got a full week woohoo how about tomorrow Ron motherfuking White.

right bitches goddamn Marques Brownlee MKBHD from YouTube Fame real talk Tech he'll be here on Tuesday Kyle kulinski super liberal wonderful person

Progressive rail you fucking people

Kyle's definitely not alt right

Lex fridman from MIT is going to be here on Wednesday when I talk about artificial intelligence

Tyson Fury motherfukers lineal heavyweight champion of the world on Thursday damn that's a fucking juicy ass for a week and we may get Alex Honnold in here too he just sent me a message he's in town they're doing a new documentary on him and hopefully we can get him in as well

alright that's it appreciate you people hope everyone's having a wonderful time out there everybody except the bird or her people will be struggling right now and I'll quit so she starts drinking. I love you

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