#1128 - Ryan Sickler

June 6, 2018

Ryan Sickler is a stand up comedian and co-host of "The Crabfest Podcast." https://www.thecrabfeast.com/

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hey ladies and gentlemen how's things I'm headed on the road I'm going to a lot of places but the newest one that just got announced literally went on sale today and I hate when people he's literally but I use it cuz I'm fucking dumb September 29th in Toronto at the Ricoh Coliseum tickets are on sale right now at Joe Rogan. Com and they're on sale for all the other shows that I'm doing today to this episode of the podcast is brought to you by Zoom video conferencing video conferencing at its finest fuckers the video conferencing is change the way people do business they do if you were long distance trips and more face time with the click of a mouse and a 2018 the clear winner is zoom zoom delivers Flawless video pin drop clear audio and instant sharing across any device desktop laptop tablet or mobile the HD video is simply

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that's it ladies and gentlemen my guess today is a hilarious stand-up comedian he is one of the hosts of The Crab Feast podcast and he's just a fucking awesome God please give it up for my friend Ryan sickler

The Joe Rogan Experience

Ryan sickler brought some Baltimore work ethic I can't believe he got actual piece of paper that you brought yeah, I'm prepared this just shit to come back to that Baltimore accent is so and I have two very good friends my good friend John Rallo and my good friend Ben O'Brien both from Baltimore Chevrolet Mart it's so weird in what is that weird it's been people there like hardcore they say shit like for sink they'll say Zink kitchen sink or an ambulance like I didn't realize I had a Southern accent until I moved here and I still don't believe I have a Southern accent I'll give it a draw I'll give it a draw draw it's a different one

baseball Alabama that Mississippi South it's a friendly southern accent like it's not it's not like man I can't talk to people always surprised when I say Maryland but when you get in the pockets of like Virginia they've got a Southern accent there even when you going to like Indiana there certain areas of Indiana that have a Southern accent and other places that don't like really weird about these little settlements and they just develop these accents that just stay there I think Baltimore is one of the most misunderstood though that's a weird one cuz it's a big city is a big city they called the big little city in Baltimore if I had to guess I'd say that's an older history you know that's a lot of history

I took Jay back we were on Taurus and got to come meet him see this junk yard and shit and you know people drop he's like how we're doing everything and he's like what do is put a K on the end of that right there

and he's years I said Washington DC washer and dryer because everyone there says it right and one day somebody say what you say I said put it in the washer and they're like spell washer washer like I do fucking say Washington and washer so I trained myself to get out of that but anytime I see something political on TV if I hear someone say where in Washington then I'm hearing that you're from that area the same way with the days of the week I was telling you Monday Tuesday we do our podcast crap he's comes out every Tuesday and I listen to announce there's like Phil Simms he's like yeah you're from products in that area that's how I pick up little shit like that yeah well I grew up in Boston that's an obvious accent everybody knows that accent but you don't have it I got rid of it oh so you did

early before pre 2000 I had it you know I just I heard it too much and I got rid of it first time I heard I was 19 I did this thing I was on local television at 19 and I heard my voice and my Axe and I was like what in the fuck is that sound coming out of my mouth I got to correct that you ever slip into it from Hammer if I'm hammered and I'm around Boston people come out a little bit but just a touch just to touch otherwise it would be fake mine comes out more like I'll go home for the whole week in the summer I just by mid-week I'm just talkin way home now we're going to come over right now that if you swallow

Billy Billy what do you want to have he's going to have a salad too he's out in the alley right now like there's no l there's no L4 with a d i put a touch of a d on it bald Baltimore Baltimore but I bet your friends probably that's how like a hardcore like when you ask you out here you can ask anyone where you from when you ask somebody back there to like they don't even say like another area of Maryland just go here you know I haven't left here this fucking block right here like what he's talking about this is where I brother super locals they just say fuck yeah that's the truth there's people that are like that right they just had this is where I fucking my bar in Denver Colorado have plays else can go fuck off

or something to that right you know that's like I get it I get the rest of country good good luck good luck with all that you know if you didn't live here chasing those Hollywood what would you be in a perfect world I'd probably have a house right on the Wye River in Maryland saltwater I have four wheelers throw some traps out in the water on Monday yeah bro and buy some fucking crab Feast God damn right hence the podcast and every week I would have my own I'll just throw them out there cuz I thought that's one thing I really miss about Maryland to Sushi out here is phenomenal but the seafood there is different we could go to a dive bar right now and have a plate a bucket of rocks like Little Pony rolling rocks and a plate of mussels marinara

Pitbull blow any fucking restaurant out here out in a. In a dive blues bar I miss the Readiness of an availability of delicious Seafood everywhere I go good seafood restaurants it's just Sushi out here yeah that's a real good point it's like what do you get out here for seafood like some will have salmon on the menu or maybe this like haddock or something like that or halibut you don't know that's not like like back home in Boston was Legal Seafoods was a percent

why is that that's a weird one Lakehead California like go to the Santa monica-malibu hardly anybody I just looked up best bass fishing out here in California cuz my brother just bought a place in Delaware on the water is brackish but it's not enough to keep crabs but he's pulling out Largemouth and sending me pictures I'm like good for you and go fuck yourself and he just I mean nice big fat ones out here they growing big they do it they said cuz I got to get up there and go again pyramid they said but I don't

lakes that people don't know about but yeah I would live there on the water

and I mean I miss my dad was an outdoors I was talking to you about this The Comedy Store my dad hunting and stuff but fish but he really got to send the crab and I'm not just throwing traps in the water we used to we had a trotline we still run a trotline so this is if I could my father died when I was 16 I've always thought about this if I had 24 hours if my dad could come back here right now for 24 hours what would I do and we be up on the water crab in at 5 a.m. son up that's right when you're allowed to start dipping and then home by 11 and then steam them up have a big ass fucking crab feast and probably watch a game about Hades the Ravens and then play catch into the night that would be what I would do but

we had so he had a friend that lived on the Eastern Shore that was a crab got you crab Herman I guess but he taught us how to do a homemade once we had this he went and bought this Jon Boat this old would John Boat did Jon Boat Jon Boat a flat bottom boat versus the V bottom and it was would not aluminum just one was white paint it up just a beater you know and we had a Johnson motor yeah everytime I hear that Alan Jackson song Drive he's talks about 75 Johnson with an electric choke on my chips away that was our boat that was our little rig it's me and my two brothers and my dad

and what you do to do a homemade when you take a bucket 5-gallon bucket or even just a small I want to get some Quikrete with an eye hook in it okay tie your rope here to some chain other side of the chain the other rope up to a Clorox bottles that your float on the side okay chain 50 yards of rope chain 50 yards same setup I just told you on the other end of The Clocks by was just so you know where you are at right that you're beginning in your end and then every 3 feet and this dude was so ahead of his time like this talking about mid-eighties late mid-to-late eighties were doing this he's like go to the Butcher and get bold lips yeah the discarded lips of bulls actual bullets and that's going to be your baked describes the biggest scavengers you can use chicken necks are popular as an easy one Jews go to the grocery store but you got to go to you know fucking butcher get bullets I don't know anybody's got those with the grocery stores

stand nasty and chicken liver for catfish

exactly but also it's adorable cuz these things are eating it that's going to be your lying for most the summer you know you might have to replace one or two but that's adorable bait that can withstand crabs tearing it up for you know 3 months so the only 3 months over the summer you can probably get away with that whole Trotline maybe about could you freeze it so far so that is 3 ft and then that's your trotline

about that big fat butt couple I'm sorry that's not a slice I'm so it looks like almost like fat eels so then you get out your loud son up you're only allowed to bushel without a permit or license so we're out there probably do but you're getting that's the saying is you buy them you'll get it maybe 7-8 dozen but if you're going out you're throwing a shit away you pay good money for the store cuz you're getting your getting the best big suckers there is nothing better than pulling it right out of the water and taking it home and eating it not getting it from the store not been you know who knows are they stored in there on the side of the road when they have more dubs porvenir pickup truck to put a fucking cardboard sign down 20 bucks push up on you just get him and go that's something I miss

kind of blue crabs crabs that's right so you get out you put a little to buy for across your or holes drop your bolts in there that's your wood at the end you have an empty spool of rope okay empty one and you just stealth everything we talk about those slow riding Harleys you stealth ride your boat and you got to be steady someone reaches over if they pull the Rope up put her on the spool and then your natural progression Ford slowly brings the lineup and then set it back down the water you got to go slow cuz those you're pulling those crabs up from the bottom. Stay on the whole time and then you're just fucking dipping and dumping dipping in its title come in he hop out of the boat swim or a little bit you get the soft crabs the ones that are coming close to the shore to their shelves then get bigger and then those you take we get about a 6-speed of those take those home crab you're having the time of your fucking life show crabs are fantastic it's so good

turn on I love it. That that's what I would do that's exactly where I'd be a road warrior you know concert on the road and I'm not sure why I'm still in LA because I don't have to live here is like I'm here all the time I'm doing sets and everything because but I'm on the road man and I go where you going to move to and I'm going to get a fucking house on the lake in North Carolina and the lakely what's it look like what you look like

that sounds perfect to me I got a buddy that's got a place in Coeur d'Alene and they sent pictures and eat dude you you could be in like 60 feet of water and you take a picture and you see every Pebble on the bottom of the Waterman is just Crystal Clear it's like a big ol bottle of Fiji see everything on the bottom old northern pike swimming around in there

yeah Idaho Bay fishing crab in the oven to Coeur d'Alene Idaho driving to Montana from Seattle come through there I never been Idaho I'm going for the first time I'm in Boise this month right all right soon someone that sometime soon I love that I just love country I mean we were born I was born in the city when we leave there till

my parents had my younger brother almost we were for we got out of there bigger house more land and stuff like that to you know you live in a wrong there's no I mean our backyard was the size of the state so I grew up out in the county about 20 mi or so outside the city and my dad was like look I want you to get a good school education but all of my family was involved I guess we're going to go get your street education I'm so glad cuz I see shit from a mile away from Milo a Larson's always like I don't even know how you do it when you were at Denver we were the end of 2016 we're doing our tour than we like to walk home from the shows at night will smoke a little joint take a walk enjoy your city whatever and I'll probably settle down you got to go wrong

about to take this walkway underneath his tunnel in the sketchy fucking like white dude sketched out to start circling us with those dark eyes and is crazy smile in traffic is hauling ass right close by us right I just would have to do and I was like we're going to stay over here by this traffic and if that do charges us I'm shoving them right into that fucking traffic that's exactly what the fuck work at a job paid him over here just shove them right out there let them know we do is kill someone like that to tell anybody like I was just you and Jay well these days everything's on camera what cameras yeah I will tell that when I woke up I feel like that self-defense if you're learning even if you're leaning toward me the wrong day so we bring it up at your show

Chili's veterans veterans that's right what if he is right and then I start a movie maybe I just need to hug promise you never know not what you say shit like that you said you want a hug from the sidewalk

you ever been outside of Denver like Evergreen and we go up there been to know I haven't been to Evergreen I've been to Colorado Springs Evergreen has the northern pike has a cousin the musky what's the there evil cousin the eat ducks and shit and see a muskellunge now I'm going to look that shit up as fish but when I was up there at the week I was up there someone on Facebook something that I was like I was like damn shit on Evergreen I saw some guy pulled one through the ice that was a fat around like a girl's waist this what they look like a big ass animal. Got caught that one in Wisconsin yeah

evil fish they are fucking prehistoric and they're ruthless man I mean I feel like you'd be fighting that thing like a Marlin for like 2 hours no but look at that good or bad are you going to battle in a battle that built the caption says are up I'm a gigantic fish that lives in Bolivia and Ecuador. Arapaima is a fish that lives in the Amazon I believe some of the rainforest and they used to the locals used to catch em all the time it was like a big thing for their food but they're worth so much money for Americans to go down in fish for them and now they protect them my good friend Steve rinella has a podcast called mediator and he went down and filmed episode

was TV show they film some episodes their show in Peru and Bolivia and those people that the locals they make up whatever money that they actually do make the make a big portion of it some of them do helping people fish for these things you know acting as a guide the size of these things like that prettiest animal survive in water when there's a drought so when the water gets like super low there surviving and water were like literally like the waters up to their half their face and there's waddling around so you could just walk right up to a catch him

damn I wouldn't walk up anything with teeth like that but they don't have teeth as big as the muskies if you go back Jamie to those pictures of a bunch of them in like water where they're their upper body is exposed the water so shallow and they're so ignore most minis are huge huge dinosaur fish alligator gar alligator gars that is a truly prehistoric fish I don't think it's changed in millions and millions of years that's an alligator gar in Texas there in the state fish for them and they get fucking clear the head of an alligator in the body of a fish and their body is armored like they're those those scales

through with wire cutters to cut through that shit would like a regular black a buck knife or something like that no offense to Buck like a Swiss army knife or some shit it's not good enough man look like I told in the in the water look at that giant alligator gar see if you cuz I think I think they get into the hundreds of pounds

what are you catching these with what does bait for this like it's a good question something big

Jesus Christ but they look at things such a creepy old dinosaur it's not even close to 230 lb and that's a freshwater animal to to 327 Broken Bow Lake Oklahoma

look at that thing that is so crazy that they caught that one in Nicaragua so I guess they're all over everywhere but you got to cut through that scale that scaly outside with wire cutters and then once you get through all that you will you take the meat and they really like smoking it and it put on a smoker that's apparently the best way

Play Sky's little baby ones in a fish tank throw vicious little creature I mean they actually stay I mean that's what blows me away is a start that small I think you can have them in a fish tank always feed them a fish that's a whole fish yeah, guess I'm going to guess 30 million years they've been that way might be more the in the same form since before that meteor hit looking like that I think so

Maduro 1803 the first description of them yeah but like how long have you been in that you find that out whatever old as fuck dinosaur fish I mean I'm used to seeing those people pull out big carp and catfish come never stop never seen anything like that for them to ask you that one picture look like in those those are rivers and they do it at night to buy spotlights like 6 feet away from you and they use like recurve bows that are made design just for bowfishing and have like a spool on it and you shoot into it and just and then they just pull it in by hand or they have a real the tub forever 800-pound watch them fight these things to see if you get a video of a guy catching a

alligator gar for an alligator braided braided line they have that like heavy duty braided line and they use a leader like a wire leader big ass fucking hooks yeah I hope the 40 grand for a aquarium in the Japanese black market it says F-15 up as high as for you to say black markets it's probably illegal to import centers of article of someone getting arrested for it dude that was in Maryland this thing have them I don't know the full story but if they were called snakeheads and I think somebody put them in the water from Africa and they take over the snakeheads that's a real common thing and sometimes what they do and everything in the lake to kill the snakeheads in and start from scratch and the restock the lake so that's definitely somebody put that

yeah yeah definitely I think snakeheads like I said I think they're from Africa but they're from somewhere else for sure

you know what this guy he's got a monster on there how do you get the hook out of that mouth maybe it's just too tired by the end it just gives up

but they'd are good to eat this crap and it tastes delicious especially when you smoke them that's got to feel good the fight that thing all day bring it in and eat it yeah I feel good I've got some pretty good size fish but nothing like that kind of marlin once 70 lb not not a giant one was like five minutes into fishing about a half hour that's damn good wasn't that big is 70 lb / Marlin not the biggest giant I think I think the huge what's the world record Marlin

ocean like right off of Malibu Malibu Sportfishing it's a great place to go fishing it's just there's not a lot of people out here that go deep sea fishing so while ago now off of I think I might been out of Huntington we rented a boat just like six of us is 1376 pounds in 1982 that's a big fish damn damn tuna fighting them

yeah I went deep sea fishing out here was like six of us cuz I didn't want to do the you know fucking everybody leaning over your face and sticking and shit so we go out here it's in the more you know before the sun comes up we're heading out to meet the the Sardine boat that's coming back in that's going to sell bait everybody we're getting everything all of these guys know what they were doing everything fresh everything fresh and just as the Sun starts coming up we hit a pod of dolphins I mean baby ones everything I just was like if I don't catch a fish all fucking day this is at already worth it I mean they're just right next to is playing in playing and if this guy was so good if we didn't drop our line and pull something up on the first one eBay pick him up I need to take us with his depth finder go find something else and we go buy those big boats of everybody Reaching Across but like I said I could be you today we're having a beer we're having lunch I didn't know I just never considered it but I didn't know if fish could get the bends it's fuck me up when it's all in my head

look like sticking out shut up and fish so you know on the way back in he's cleaning it packs at all nice for you that's out here out here why I have plenty of room. You can walk to the front and back of the boat fish wherever you want you had a choice to either Chum for shark or fish he's like it's hours of me Charming it's it's kind of boring until we actually start at it so if you want to fish will do that so we did that do Pacs it all up so nice for us I'm all excited I just moved out here not long I'm living in this dump in North Hollywood I put my fish in the fucking freezer the fridge for

but it was it was such a good time so I got to be careful eating sharks today people get mad at you for sharks really you pulling a shark people get angry at you used to be able to catch sharks in the one he gave a fuck they saw Jaws like fuck shot but now I have to say this sharks say that what are you doing with that shark let it go there was a photo of what did the Governor New York or the mayor of New York City one of those names of Governor New York car shark and people pissed at him he's like no we fucking hate it we cooked it up we ate it shark taste good like it's totally legal I guess how did the restaurant Looney with shit like. Is what is this I heard about that

yeah, the guy Breeze rips off his penis despite horrified sunbathers frantic battle to save his life on a Brazilian Beach Jesus and apparently there's a really really rare attacked that they don't get a lot of attacks in Brazil because the water so warm

but apparently that shark didn't get the menu clearly I thought I saw they thought it was a tiger shark at old ass off right with a dick goes I can't even

I just

that's what scares the shit out of me about the water man that you don't you don't even see it coming at least if you're in the woods kind of here thing yes that's right you got the hearing you don't even have that in the water you know what's out there nothing out there is growling in the ocean you know what I mean fuck this is how it's going to end all those Road gigs I did all go out like that Miles

open mics

you know I've been thinking about this and talking about this one stage a little bit but it's far as death goes to go out of the most beautiful way I've ever seen any creature on this little rocket outer space go out the most original beautiful way is that Dove that got killed by Randy Johnson fastball it's the best death on planet Earth

how many billions of one you could even narrow it down to how many birds were in that area that day I don't care that one thing one and when he hit it it blew up into it sound like fireworks and then he will be at the Eastport of Curt Schilling and now he's got I just look this up recently he's got a company now and I think he uses the logo of like an upside-down bird is embraced it like but he was like that's not funny I don't think that shit's funny you know you through a hundred mile an hour fastball I mean Beast he was a fucking beast let me ask you this what do they do how do they

how do they count that pitch is considered a dead pitch they said it was a no pitch I don't like we're going to reset on that was about it like people were making jokes and shit and he was like I don't think that shit's funny but it's beautiful it is funny that they should cook it cuz those are delicious I've never have had pheasant I've never had of pheasants delicious yeah but dumb is a highly people don't know that it's another one that people get angry if you bring up pheasant order cuz it's a bird of Peace a highly prized game bird like people go dove hunting and they'll shoot fuckload of Dubs and take them home and cook them and eat it gets so angry like what are you doing you're cooking doves stop it stop it some chicken

those chicken prisoners ground up into small Cubes but not the word has no idea what it is like I don't eat that eagle okay okay I will need to eagle Eagle's get so plentiful feel like pigeons you think they'll let us eat Eagles now never never going to let you touch anything though I don't care if they're starting first they were here first the Eagles in North America before the white man they were here first my friends live in Alaska you go up there and everywhere everywhere they're everywhere the pigeons I had this moment I'm so glad that the new thing I'm so glad you said that I

my daughter's mother her family's from Seattle they live right on Lake Washington they're good friends Bill Gates is around the corner it's beautiful and they do this weekend where all the boats come out Blue Angels the whole 9 looks beautiful and they rehearse for like a couple days before the actual event so I swim out into the middle I smoke a joint you know that beautiful Pacific Rim we they have up in Seattle I smoke a joint I swim out into the middle Lake Washington I'm just out there treading on my back float and having a good time and they have been saying there's just a little bit Circle and it's got a nest couple of houses up whatever I swear to fucking God this is the God's honest truth

there's a boat also full of people who see it to two Eagles come out together in tandem as a team one of them start circling here at this motherfucker nose dives into the water I'm in grabs a fishing flies off and I said oh my God like it was on the boat or crap I was like holy shit was fucking amazing amazing end of the water I was in and out of it and it worked water I mean I have no I could have just gone in and out he had to go feat he went feet and boom lift it off but he saw it with claws see those videos on why were they like lift toddlers up and start the Fly Away with our little too heavy you don't think so

yeah yeah it was fun hanging out the fuck I'm hanging out in the Eagles

yeah it's funny that that's our national animal because it is a ruthless fucking flying cunt it is just Twitchy fucking death the gold flying lizard bald eagle to hatch it for a face bolt cutters for a face I watch this they had this video online it was live videos of bald eagles having babies in that you could watch him they had cameras set up on him and everything was fascinating it ended it ended terribly though they showed you how the mom would sit and a dad would go out and hunt and then he came back he would just his shift was like an hour or two and she was the rest of the time but he would go out and bring food back and the poor thing was the mom going to get food got fucking hit by a commercial airline

because the dads don't go no that would have been the end of their ass so I think to help him out that's why I don't know what they do they might they're Savage fucking Birds learn about Ravens being a Ravens fan I watch this documentary want I'm just fucking lady in England had a raven a pet Raven you know that British that little that it's like an upside-down U car just a yes it's like a little like a like a parentheses and this thing should we keep the keys in the ignition in the windows down and she be like we're going to go for a ride and the Raven would fly in the car start the car with its beak sit on the door she get in she start driving and then he would just fly right next to the car wherever she went

is unbelievable I can't believe I could knock it over so she has like a relationship is for a hundred percent even knew and loved it like he was like all should let me go start the car for you she would say let's go for a drive in The Raven knew what you was saying out the doubt in the car grab that shit with it's because they're big brother he would wait for her to get in should start driving here just fly right next to it I don't know you might look for it but I watched it there so smart I saw a video using a tool to get another tool so they could get into something that they did these tests to find out how they intelligent they were to see if they could do problem-solving to get food and so it had to use like one small stick in order to pull out a larger stick in the largest dick to pull out this thing that got him the food and it figured it out I figured it out quick like quicker than my kids would have

eight-year-old it's crazy it's crazy watching do it it's like this little guy is a great video one of my favorite videos online of this one Raven that wants these two cats into a fight and stars of them up into a fight yeah they're both what is this lady got away. You deserve everything you got coming to you everything what the fuck you fix it oh my God

look at that heads or heads baby heads is dude over here just chilling like it's nothing has even looked over nobody said next to that bitch though I like Noms I'll stand all the way over everything about her looks weird when she looks crazy bitch with metal over boots sure your golf hole it was it's a sure your goth but are you dejectedly riding the subway with your Raven goth bar right there everybody a raven The Raven provokes app it's now an opposite rooftops like right next to each other and then comes over

the cats chilling and in The Raven flies over to where the cat is and starts fucking with them and after he starts fuck with them then he flies over to the other cat is he starts fuck with him he gets behind news like a bitch what you doing he gets just close enough for the Catholic motherfukers purposes little cut but you can tell is it just getting the cats riled up hey bitch look I'm a bird I'm right behind you motherfucker that's like a cat. Fuck you fuck you know fuck you the keys Kingston closer why would a raven get close to a cat he's doing it

fall off the roof

cats are killing each other and it's Ravens like you dumb hoes Olympic fall into that hole that Raven is just hanging out with them and animal that can fly on the ground vulnerable watching these two cats fight fossils into the hole

that is a crazy ass bird that is a crazy fucking bird but also confident right here beside like that fucker what kind of a pussy are you

it's such a weird weird animal like once they found out that these things are smart they like look in comparative test when it comes to a problem solving there a smart or smarter than chimpanzees Ravens guess what I hear they're super smart person Marley they don't know how smart that we did the limitation is that they've got these feet and wings but if you gave him like fingers and had a mic problem solved stuff like that like to spell their name and shit and you know you give him some food they might be able to do that cuz chips can kind of do stuff like that here's one is Raven

the crow by Crow Raven pretty sure what is the difference is a raven bigger bigger so this realizes that if he puts these rocks in that water that the water flowed up and he'll be able to get that food so you can't quite reach that food so he keeps dropping those rocks in there to try to raise the level of the water up how the fuck does he figure that out like look at that that's crazy

light versus heavy what is this what all kinds of experiments with them wow get that says it's understanding of water displacement by a crow is the name of the video

study done by Auckland New Zealand University right like we always Define intelligence by how much can it been delayed in its environment where that throws his office like dolphins and Orcas and whales cuz it really smart and they can't they can't do anything they have flippers but we know they have these really complex languages and they have they have Baltimore accent. Do you know that the Dolphins and orcas have accents I don't know how versus spotted that's different accents different spots but with bats when we were little you ever mess around bats know but I've been in Austin for the largest migration in the northern hemisphere

I think Austin has the largest migration like it suck largest daily migration of bats in North America Keeley Hawes bats they fly out from under the bridge there's a there's a bridge in downtown Austin bro it's crazy it's crazy so we're staying this hotel is dark out that bridge over there they like all the bats nest in that bridge they come out so during the day time I was with my family we walked under the bridge

bad clusters hanging underneath the bridge going to the bridge

look at that dude it's millions millions and millions of fucking bats go flying through the air it's crazy to watch what is it about

it says from March to April millions of mostly female pregnant Mexican free-tailed bats migrate North give birth the NW Congress Avenue Bridge in downtown Austin Texas is the spring and summer home to these bats each night at Sunset some 2 million bats venture out from under the bridge to eat an estimated 30000 lb of insects is the largest urban bat colony in North America and then you watch the departure Play that video she's his departure to fucking bananas dude you can't believe how many bats fly out is like what did they all just pick this one neighborhood

just one Bridge they decide is our spot so they just live in this bridge so somebody detonated that bridge that it looks like night it's crazy dude it's crazy I was there for this it's wild watch you see them like like a swarm like insects running into each other people could barely get on the subway together without stepping on toes and shit they think they're flying fly they say that they have some sort of a magnetic sense they understand like there's a frequency that each one of those animals gives off that's how birds do it like they ever see birds they move together these create patterns no one understands that totally but there's a company called x h e c x hecs

and they make this thing called a hex suit is a very controversial thing but what the idea behind it is that there's an electric frequency that all humans and animals and especially like the Predators game animals give off and that this this frequency is it corresponds to the movement of your muscles and that you give off this thing that that animals can see especially predators are predators apparently really good at seeing this yeah it would look like this and they would litter the streets in the sidewalks below kisser that just grasshoppers under certain conditions right

how does that work grasshoppers under certain conditions

become locusts I forget I mean in Dish 5 seconds he just filled that net up chocolate-covered though we stayed at a resort in Mexico and you going to the hotel room and you know they have like a little table there and they have like a little table full of peanuts with like a like some hot hot chili powder on them and stuff like that and then they had these crickets in a bowl and my kids like why do they have bugs and I'm like you're supposed to eat them like no way you're not eating bugs I'm like I'm telling you these things that you do they eat these things and so I picked him up and I start chewing them

might not bad till I can almost like a soy sauce hate to say Hi how are they done

but they're so common that they had a bowl of them in the room

and I don't see them you know what I would try that I will try to I will try that when the Grasshoppers turn allows the weather issues I clicked on this from says that just by swarming if it makes them become a Locus so I don't know if that's accurate but that's what the article to say the New York Times unless you listen to Donald Trump which New York Times

yeah we still fuck with us so we had a light street light in front of our house and my brother and I would go out and my dad was I can go out and play catch as long as you're in front of that light and I can see you so we just go start playing catch the tennis ball round one night which stone is high up toward the light so you could see it coming down and it's back to start Speedo from swooping at the ball the whole time and I was like awesome is great so I throw line drive at my brothers fucking face at that fuck of bat did you know I don't know if it thought it was a big or realize it was a too big of a bug but it got there you know but it would it would come right by your fucking face is another bad

so what am I saying this hex suit people that go spearfishing and they wear the suit and you can like literally get right next to a fish with a suit on its real weird like whatever this whatever this frequency that is human bodies and it just bodies in general give off this suit masks it and they've been able to show that with these devices like the measure electrical frequencies like you rub your arm over shit elected like these alligators they just for whatever reason don't fuck with this dude was wearing that that's a crocodile to even though you're moving and there's shit just don't bother it's just super smart TVs but when apparently dudes wear the suits when they go spearfishing their way more successful they love these things cuz you can get like right up next to these fish and fuck them up

but Hunters using to now they're becoming popular with Hunters are so they don't work just in the water is before I don't know if they're working or not working so it's hard to tell because what animals go by is not one thing they go buy a bunch of different things did the big one is smell if they smell you your fucked like the reason why camera works is camel breaks up your outline like a bug a deer saw you the bug that's a fucking dude I see the arms I see the light at the dude but if you were wearing camo with all the bright like my shorts right to that broken up pattern confuses then they like what is that I don't know what I'm seeing if you just stand still and you wearing camo and you don't move a deer look at you and go

finish it and I'll go back to eating unless you're close by breath smell you feel like fuck that I don't do the stuff that works the best I don't know there's a bunch of different companies that make look really good, but the secret behind breaking up the outline have to look like anything's it's just a matter of like breaking it up with like blotches and spots and there's a couple companies like Under Armour actually has a really good patterns called Ridge Reaper Barren and that patterns really good sick as probably the best pattern they have a pattern called subalpine open country subalpine things wrong but it's it's just a bunch of dots and splotches the whole idea is just to break up your your outline so when someone looks at you or an animal looks at you than what the fuck they're saying so the idea is that this hex suit some

another it blocks out your electrical output whatever that frequency is at these animals can see and it's not prove it so it's really weird stuff it's like we know that there's something that gives off like these hex companies have gave that the one company they have this machine I'll show you there what you wave your hand over this thing without a hex suit on and it registers this electrical frequency and then you waive it with the hexagon it registers nothing but if they smell you you're still fucked oh yeah but anyway these birds somehow or another they're all giving off a frequency so was it when they're doing that crazy wave and their flights are flying right so they're beating their wings together like a bunch of fucking helicopters but they're not touching each other they just floating back and forth somehow and somehow it works it's it's got to be inches apart inches inches I mean there's these huge migrations of birds that are flying to the air and they move like fish in the ocean

the same sort of thing right and they say that's how fish do it to that they have this frequency that they're all giving off and some somehow or another they all know how to move in tandem like no one's Fargo

they're not bad went to each other it's weird that is weird I don't understand it but people are trying to capitalize on whatever that is or high Whatever frequency we give off so the idea is that we don't really totally understand animal senses with their dad a bunch of tests on deer they know their color blind they don't see necessarily agree but they see shapes and they see it they just they're real concern is movement an outline the outline of a person's very recognizable movement is very recognizable when they smell pretty good but they don't smell nearly as good as something like Bears Apparently one of the best at like using their nose Bears smell anything like Bears can smell a dead animal miles away

don't make me nervous if I saw that animal and I was in a Bear Hunt yeah but we're getting a fuck out of here the fuck out of here you talking about smell so it is in a Baltimore all the street parking parallel parking there's no assigned parking spaces there's no driveway or anything my brother pulls out in front of skyspace one of the guys I guess my space he's like Snot anybody spaces fucking public Street I can Parker's like that's my space in the front of my house is like to come on so that night assuming that guy breaks into his car busted windows out takes shit out of his car whatever and he's like okay and he had some deer piss from hunting

fucking busted that guys when they felt it all in his events at everything I was like a car that was the last of that shit cuz that stuff do you ever use that to ever you don't ever put it on you stuff supposed to be I couldn't the smell of it just sitting on the sidewalk I was like yeah I would think a deer be like why is that dough pissing all over herself that crazy but it's yeah I want to know if you could really use it cow estrus they have like the smell of a cow cow bull like a knockout blow up the put on trees and shit try to drag a bowl over cuz when when Bulls are in the winter in the rut in the females are in heat in the coming of the Astros and the males want to breed them apparently they just they just smell it and they go fucking bananas and some people use that shit to put it on trees and stuff that's why

is that our smell or is it more to attract they're attracted to that smell like their sense of smell is so powerful that it's almost impossible to mask it unless you use ozone and so would a lot of guys do there's a company called Ozonics and what they do is they literally hang a unit above their head and it blows Ozone gas all over your body and it collects like you are Cent gets combined with ozone and that hits the deer and the deer doesn't know what the fuck you are it's like what is that smell it just have no idea how to clean the water to purify everything it's got a very distinct smell and when you turn the tank filtration system on you not supposed to go in for a half an hour and ozone disappear dissipates but it's got a very distinct smell

and apparently that smell just overwhelmed the smell of human body so wouldn't I sit in a tree stand like I've I've hunted with my friend John Dudley in Iowa and he uses his Ozonics unit above us he sets it always there even if a deer downwind of you they might not be cuz the smell is confusing to them like what is that fucking weird smell like I don't know what it is the most of the time the winds blowing heat striped in a little bit of West to little bit of this

I don't know this run

take a chance just stand there when they're horny they don't know what to do it's like why why people like the hunting the rut cuz when there are there in the rot they come out during the day like a lot of times the older animals to become nocturnal they just decide it's too risky through the day people are up I'll just just fuck around all night and sleep during the day that's what I was always scared cuz we would have run all over Maryland when you're driving those Country Roads at night I mean 3 4 I will come out cross in and shoot you a cold and they're monster you know they're monster so we had deer whistles really work to be honest work when the rats going on they get confused they don't they're just horny and crazy to run right out and traffic gets smashed by cars deers it wouldn't hide all day long during any of the time of the year

just they just smell that dear pussy in Xmas songs by imagine if their nose is a thousand times stronger than ours I don't fuk it is the smell that pussy must be so tempting

run out in traffic in the middle of fucking day for ya

you know when you only got a couple of weeks to fuck that's right you know what the fuck all year like us they got a couple weeks to get their fuck on and then the rest of the year's solo know how weird is what kind of a strange system did nature come up with where makes the girls horny and able to give birth only like for a couple of six weeks sometimes they go in the Astros again like each other you have like a second the second astris I'll figure it out

I start snow more fucking thinking last apparently is good they smell a bear smells hundreds of times stronger than them they say a bear smells hundred times better than a bloodhound does that blows my mind miles miles away from here is if you're in places to wear Bears know the people hunt they hear a gunshot and they think it's a Dinner Bell so I can you shoot a deer you only have a certain amount of time to get that fucking deer out of there before A Bear shows up especially like Kodiak Island Kodiak Island is famous for two things is famous for Gigantic brown bears from the biggest bears in the world it's also famous for Sitka Blacktail deer so these these Sitka deer are really delicious deer and people go over there to hunt them but when that gun fire the bear here and they go straight towards gunfire

you know there's going to be a gut pile there soon so you and leave the gut pile and take the meat away you're likely to just the Bears probably going to go to the guts and strawberry like you're probably going to be safe, he would probably probably be my friend Steve rinella was talking about before they got attacked last year on a fog neck Island in Alaska that got attacked by a gigantic brown bear this it was like 11 ft long who was huge in one of the guys like it ran into can't with it what happen was it shot an elk and they you know when you shoot an elk it's an enormous animal you can't really take it out on one trip you going to make several trips so they hung some of it up in a tree and then they went back to get the rest of it after they took what they said they took what they could carry they went back to get the rest of it when he went back to get the rest of it up there and already claimed

and they didn't know the bear clan because the bear took off and it heard them coming then the bear when they were hanging around the meet the Bears like fuck this and decided just make a run out of town but didn't know how many there were because it's such a thick brush and they said it was it happened so quickly like everybody had this well if a bear comes I'm going to do this you know people have his idea it would like it happened so fast I'll send you the podcast cuz it's fascinating the two-part podcast if they did it over to part with it they talked about the experience but she's nobody got her but one guy one that actually riding the Bears back

could I have the letter M and one guy hit the bear with trekking sticks Mountain trekking sticks hit in the head and the other guy got knocked over and was literally on the Bears back for several steps as it was running down the hill and then he fell off of it in the bear took off with my friends were there for my friends were there they were saying that they could see the teeth 1011 in from their face gnashing is a thing ran by 11-foot let me talk what 18lb so while they're gone on Route trip one this bad already claimed it. I scared her so it didn't it didn't come by to chase him off it came to fight and it just didn't know how many there were and there was like 7 or 8 guys I think at least at least five guys

so I think it just got confused there was so many people I didn't know where to go what to do and it got hit in the head with a tracking sticks and then and I'll just pistol just for that just for Bears but he had said it's packed down and he like in his mind it's not welfare comes I'll be able to get to my pack fuck that he's like it happened so fast there's no getting to your pack just know nothing and these are guys that know what the fuck they're doing their professional we're so weak and we're so what would like just water balloons the back and forth and and still doesn't hurt them you know we're so flashy

it's good we live here but we live in Los Angeles not in the fucking mountains hiking if I'm in here one time I liked it for a while and I live in the valley I like they're a lot I would see a lot of rattlesnakes I was saw a lot of rattlesnakes but one night

I don't know it's probably fall it's right around 6 630 in the sun starting to set I'm just trying to get through and got my headphones on I'm coming down this hill and this fucking Bobcat comes off the hill and it was a size of a big dog stubby little tail it stopped right now I mean I was like you know and it just stopped at fucking looked at me and the first and only thought they went through because I had nothing that we would have looked at me like it's your lucky fucking dad and it ran over the next Ridge was gone my I mean I was like holy shit one of those with its babies

no maybe between like a little bigger than a cat now this thing was like waste it was like up to my waist at the fuck you I was like I'm dead I'm fucking dead have you ever heard of links Howell only because I was that the only reason I've ever heard of Crazy Praise right up in there and I was playing for people that's like sound effects right I don't know no that's what is really making this weird noise it's really making like what it's in his kitchen

hey where you at I just saw this thing yet put it up

Phyllis

oh that's the one

when it sounds like it sounds like little kids pretending to be a monster

cool who who runs into this

they get real close to the don't quite do anything like neither one of those gangster they're both posers addictive hips and leg I bet you make me slap you links are weird it's a weird animal lynxes in the guys kitchen because this fucking guy standing over it so I would think that's a Battle Cry you know I'm getting the fuck out of my own kitchen here is here to do this

no

she said scare it up the phone later blood video like I'm scared of snakes my brother gave me a fear fucking snakes my eyes have a twin brother he's 4 minutes older than me but we look nothing like stalling skinny but I will say yeah that's weird it's weird there are times when we speak even now and I'm like I just did it like it's his voice came out of me it's weird that's the best the weird thing but he was abusive who's the fuk with like if there was a girl in high school on it like I don't just talk to her I want to play video games he would set dates up and shit you know like how you're doing

but he was Mister Outdoors like he wasn't he would play with snakes like he catch black snakes all the time we put them in an aquarium we go to the pet store and get little feed mice and you know they won't eat it when it's dead sometimes they be dead so my brother would reach in and just dance the tail and these snakes bite him in the ass and I was like your fucking nuts dude so one day it's my turn to cut the grass right we had the same Snapper riding mower from Can't Buy Me Love okay that Snapper with a bag catcher on the back okay

I'm in the back yard going around 3 Doors UPS our buddy Jeff lives there and I see him and my brother is a pine tree and I see him with a broom and they're standing away from if there's swatton with a trash can on my God I got a big ass there's a big ass black snake in there you know so I got my headphones on I'm just going around I look up on our deck and my brother stand there holding this fucking snake exactly don't fucking do it I got my shirt off it's hot ass summer I'm about to go back to minding my business I come back around a few times later I just feel something slap the back of my neck

I put that blade is a fucking snake you son of a bitch how he would do shit like he catch little ones I can't remember are they Gardner gardner snakes maybe God just a tiny ones I don't remember but we're garden snakes do you know my mom's taking him into the doctor she's like you too can stay in the car wait here if you want my car and driving for like 10 minutes my brother reaches in his truck and he pulls out one of those snake sound like

what is your fucking problem dude I was always scared around him with that shit he would always felt like sitting there something to help those people that out in the Everglades you know they're hiring the people that just shoot out of now they're hiring Hunters to go there all these crazy dirty white people who wanted to own a python in the mothers like you get that thing out of the house they just open up the back door Chuck it in the yard and slid is off into the swamps of Florida is all filled with swamps and the pythons Thrive there is a problem with python cuz they're so big dude they found one of them that had eaten an alligator and the alligator was popping out of its body they were both dead there were both dead floating in the water but that's this fucking 8-foot alligator

there was inside this pythons body Jesus Christ is 144 lb reptile up on a levy they dispatched it with a 9 millimeter pistol shot to the head inside they found 70 or 80 eggs see their fucking there's a plague of them the Everglades there's so many more than 800 caught this year six months of the year the Everglades mammals birds and alligators alligators alligator python catching contest at tracking with dogs are doing everything they can but there's so many of the Gator one where they shoot and oh yeah cuz if they were extinct

well I used to live in Florida when they were going extinct what is this one of the deer that was inside for kids what the size of that dear that's a big deer and it's inside this python fuck

Jesus Christ

that's funny it said we have people don't have jobs who have day jobs people have night job some people have computer jobs technical jobs and they're all Hunters herpetologist military veterans all these people are doing this go to the Everglades trying to solve this problem they're saying

Adventure in a desired defend the Everglades what Thrills means the fight the fight that the snake gives you that's my travel you're definitely you're not going too bad a thousand at that job I mean they're capable of killing people for sure when they get that big where they can swallow a deer meat a deer's a hundred that's a small deer means not big like a giant mule deer I think that they caught a good distance apart and they're still it's a hundred 32-pound 17 ft long

wow

Jesus Christ that is a big fucking animals this is all just from assholes cuz it's assholes just checking him into the woods and then I'm done with it the same man hanging my mouth is open I can't get over that that is now plague because of that killed eight hundred of them this year then I do put it out there

God damn yeah you know what else I found out there Nile crocodiles there was Shoot to Kill Order on Nile crocodiles so some ass fuck dickwad let Nile crocodiles loose and they think there might be breeding population of Nile crocodiles those 28 the monsters wildebeest shit with it go this guy was doing a Baptist baptism and this dude in Ethiopia and as he's in the middle of doing the baptism of fucking crocodile lunges up out of the water and snatches them in front of his whole congregation crocodile jumps from Ethiopian Lake and kills Pastor during mass packages

children man

I am I worked in a junkyard growing at my friend's dad had a junkyard out in Mount Airy, Mount Airy Auto Wrecking in there was one day we're so we would have our own yard car were driving where we we were in charge where younger kids so he would like you're going to go get all the aluminum

you going to basically clean up a junkyard of all the loose aluminum going to put it in these bands will melt it down and they sell it off and it'll like these little trays you know and one day I hear this we had a bunch of feral cats but we didn't have any dogs growling solid white solid blue eye and it's bouncing just up and down it's not charging us and we're like what the fuc we start throwing rocks and shit at it and then we're like maybe it's protecting babies when we go down to tell his dad and this customers down there this is out in the country is customers down he's like I got a pistol in my fucking car he brings this thing up to to the Dome to put it down took one to the head and just laying down

control come out take it away and she has rabies come from

the kill people like Al Capone to go kill myself was killed by some got them on tax evasion and then when he develops syphilis they didn't read it before this is the reason why all those dudes in the olden days have powdered wigs and I'll come here for my education god dammit mom several times so I'll just be really breathe there was these Royals from Wizard France

Samantha Jamie O come to the store but they got syphilis and to cover their syphilis they start wearing wigs and syphilis was running rampant through this name is all these rich people start wearing wigs these big ass wigs can I ask you what was it eating your skin was it like that if you came that and the bigger the wig though the more money you had like if you have a lot of money get a big crazy I'm not crazy are you that why do people wear powdered wigs like those guys in powdered wigs called perukes where all the rage the cheek Chic hair pieces would have become pot wouldn't would have never become popular however if it hadn't been for a venereal disease a pair of self-conscious

and poor hygiene the proof Story begins like many others with syphilis by 1580 the STD and become of the worst epidemics of tripe Eastern Europe strike Europe rather since the black plague and according to William close in infinite multitude of syphilis patients clog London's hospitals and more filtered each day without antibiotics victim face the full brunt of the disease open sores nasty rash is Blindness dementia and patchy hair loss baldness swept the land and so these dudes Louie XIV is only 17 with his mom started sitting where to buy bolts would hurt his reputation Louis hired 48 wig makers to save his image five years later the king of Inland Lewis cousin Charles II did the same thing when his hair start to go gray both men like we had syphilis courtiers is how you say that Cody and other Aristocrats and mediately copy the two kings they sported wigs in the style trickle down to the upper middle class

your Europe's newest fat is born and that crazy that is crazy where it says the the bill for large elaborate perukes balloon to as high as 800 Shillings that the word bigwig was coined to describe snobs who could afford big poofy perukes so the average was 25 and they're paying upwards the 800 wigs because of the fucking sores and shit everywhere looks like one on his face losing his teeth still still fucking semi getting a semi hard to shoot that poison in the people what an education Mansion life before antibiotics

I can't imagine life before like the eighties I mean like when we were having a baby I thought about like how did people do this in the covered wagon they still doing bathtubs assholes just natural and squat and then just have it and have someone there to catch it instead like fuck I was like nah I think it's called Mercy hospital they were the first I'm pretty sure they Pioneer the underwater birth I can go get in a tub there a big tub and then they say out I guess that's the most natural way to have a baby I guess it makes sense if you're in a placenta and you're just basically transferring into another one before you come out instead of just boom out but they say it's I don't know how its natural I mean how can it be natural Waters not attached to it either way

I don't know I think bring up and it's in like a tank and you sit she sits in there and then they just delivered in this big big water tank in the womb I don't I never thought about that I've literally never thought about that I know they're attached to the umbilical cord and cord there in their there they're all curled up in the fetal position how to get in there like what is it going through the court I mean I think all life comes to the valley, do they not have to breathe while they're still attached to the core how does that work here goes the fetus is actually breathing while but the mother breeds for the fetus and essential oxygen is past the fetus through the umbilical cord the fetus does not make breathing like moving stop these begin at 9 weeks of pregnancy and allow the fetus to practice this breathing Moon movement Pac-Man

that is just so you know it's really weird to take a baby to choke him in the water they meet Lee hold their breath they know exactly what to do but monkeys don't throw monkey the water the fucking panics are breathing water they die I can't get over there when we started. Yeah the song about people like we know how to hold up even more babies my kids love it as long as you do it to him an early age and you're there to catch em all this is horrible don't watch this I don't tell me this I don't want to see this fucking baptism the slammin this baby into the water what race is that what the fuck that that's crazy shit I want some I think the girl sent me that I'm like why is that her babies in a pool in that fight just popped up

and all this baby stuff that's how horrible thing that they do they smash that kid in the water and pick him up other arms and smash them down in the water again to do it a bunch of times then the cut a dick yeah you take them look pretty bro no cut it up bro one-day-old dick it up and my girls all girls three girls to girls if you had a circumcised sometimes sometimes it gets infected it happens every year since from circumcisions and they lose their dick every year also kids of this is happened multiple times kids have been circumcised by a traditional know what is it a memorial for the rabbi

and the rabbis had herpes and they transferred it because the rabbi has to suck the kid's dick the bleeding yes they still do that yes they still do that and they still defend it it's a traditional way of doing it herpes people have given the babies herpes and the kids have died from it yeah they've died from it

yeah I didn't know that still was going down if they suck the baby penis and there's a fucking video this one Rabbi explaining the necessity of doing this because it's that the part of the ancient books in the Torah where it is Robert Baker estimate 229 deaths per year from circumcision in the United States Bollinger estimated approximately 119 infant boys die from circumcision related each year in the u.s. 1.3% of all male neonatal death from all causes are from circumcision these are several cases there are several case reports of death in the medical literature

yeah people die all the time from circumcision or just understand that folks this is an elected unnecessary surgery that you're doing to a fucking baby and there's no medical reason to do it but people say stupid shit like that did you wash your dick you dirty bitch circumcised dick down the dryer at all those are accurate that you just read that we just pulled up with another article talking about in this is an Australian link to talk about the same information it says that

all deaths that might be circumcision related are officially recorded it's unnecessary yeah it's going to look back on this hundred years 5 years from now and then it'll make fun of the same way we'll make fun of powder wigs but it's even worse cuz you doing it to babies about time there. Like what happened to my dick exactly like we just thought it was ugly we had you cut cut yeah you should be able to make cuz I feel like every guy at the age where they were old enough to make that would be like fuck I'm not doing that I'm not doing that grow foreskin back

yeah this what they're doing they taking the skin that they have the regular skin around their dick and they're stretching it out and is always devices like the vehicle she had to try to get it to go back to the taken like the base of their their dick where was cut and the pain that skin up a little bit every day

I'm not kidding that this like devices that they have

you put your picture looks like like you know it's not a single layer of skin of the top you got a double layer now it's going to roll you do have skin at the top but it's like you know if it's like a blanket it's not like a sheet right but I guess people do everything while I just need to feel all this pain and and that like emotional pain from the fact that cut their dick cut when their little baby and I had no say in it and apparently it makes your dick dick less sensitive when you do that and it your dick is naturally self-lubricating the head of your dick is and as soon as they cut the foreskin off then it dries out and you know we're used to dry dick cuz I tried

but apparently regular dicks if you don't cut them moist the tip like a pull that foreskin back and that tip is got like a layer of mucus on which is why you got to clean it and cut it off

Jesus Christ I was man that's a weird practice man and it's it doesn't make any sense the fact that it's still around in this day and age with all that we know and all the risks that we know about where kids actually do get sick and die from it that this a real thing it happens every year who knows how many people are out there that I fucked up dicks that are just because some ancient tradition that we passed Ida supposed to do it because I don't want my kids have a weird looking dick what are you talking about how are you going to how are you going to train that kid do you do really think that that's going to fuck with that much

I've been in locker room two piece of shit nobody cares he wasn't a dick sometimes at least a hundred times and pillows different punchlines of jokes and shoulders his pants are down is Emily underwear on he sees dick so crazy but nobody like was like hanging out with you how come you didn't get the kids what kind of kids are bringing your kids around like a tease them we can eat it can't take a little teasing yeah hey I'm sorry my dick didn't get mutilated by the witch doctor yeah exactly exactly your butcher dick over there what it feel like when the memorial was sucking on your dick

that's the thing I didn't know was still going on obviously do they circumcise baby still but I didn't know that they just send it and say it's an orthodox Jew tradition

cuz I'm sorry was Hardcore they were cheap in the game went to Israel in like one of those were your you know you're reading the Torah like fucking 10 hours a day deep he told me about that it's a fun to trip you pay nothing to go do that is not right of passage or maybe it is I don't know it's something that's paid for if you want to go I'm just telling us how he went there because he went the other way yeah they did they got him over there and after like he just experienced it always like okay this is a horse

is crazy braids yeah he had all that stuff you had the crazy braids he went the Kennison route

no citizen all that shit came from the gym at that all came from a head injury are you serious book my brother Bill or My Brother Sam his brother Bill wrote a book about him and he said that Sam was one way and it like a normal kid but you know, regular kid that got hit by a car and we got hit by a car was like I like seriously injured bad head injury and then out of that he was a while mother fucker. All changed him that happens people head injuries at a good friend of mine she passed away when she was 16 and I was talking to the doctor this time I'll never forget he said this about the soul and you knew we were just having this conversation he said I believe the souls in the brain and I said why and he was why everyone Associates the soul with the chest in the heart and the soul and heart but I can literally replace anything in your body and you're still Joe Rogan but the moment the moment I even tweak your brain you can become a different Joe Rogan

that's why I believe the true soul is in the brain of a bad really fucking interesting because you can't manipulate a brain and still well maybe you can but you start changing even a little thing you want a brain and it can be like you just said become a wild man from that or the other way when you were a kid and smack that bitch in and work with something with people some people just fucking

rattle their cage and they become a different thing and it works better but it's like a very inexact science like people got hit in the head and all somebody will play music and got really good at math about that on a special the head injury comes back with oh man is a Tourette's or something and come back different that's what it was head injuries

there was a weird thing that the Dome is a weird thing you know what it was all the weird fucking shit going on up there and all the different synapses and neurons firing and one Little Rock the somebody throws at you parked in the side of the head on now you're different person forever forever so many stories about that too I've talked to so many doctors and neurologist that are you know they study the human brain and it's one of the most perplexing things is like you can get the same two people one person gets hit the same way nothing happens the other person is a different human being for the rest of life in the struggle with that injury forever and it's like real similar real sit real similar impact real similar circumstances and you just never know never know what's going to do it

that's why these British woman wakes up with Chinese accent play this play this I want to hear her sweet and sour chicken at Hong Kong style was just being clear reports others who have suffered from the same change in boys had severe migraines only 61 cases have been identified since 1941 when explanation for the new tongue is that her migraines squishy experiences as many as 10 times or more per month are leaving her with neurological damage a condition usually follows traumatic brain injury or stroke those with FAS also experience vocabulary but what does that mean when a woman talk go back to in here

unofficial Fox be sweet and sour chicken Hong Kong style is accent she woke up open drives boys that came out she was. But I've been identified

I don't know if we could understand with a Chinese accent

play that play this morning it was this lady got Houston mom at the British next what happened to her

surgery

is 100% text people who don't know where you from

Verizon MiFi the way to the way that you talk like that so that's when the whole story comes up 6 months ago Lisa speach to be with me but then she showed me that I like the doctor I told her she was diagnosed with foreign accent syndrome and she searched it and then I was like oh Lord hold up hold up pause right here here's the problem with that I can talk like this it doesn't mean that I talk like this so if I come back could say if I got an operation I wanted to get a root canal and I came back and took them to The Joe Rogan Experience what's wrong with you I just talk like you know how to talk because I've been diagnosed I've been diagnosed with a disease I have an issue please be more sensitive

alarm, please I can't help it this is how I talk now or is it just that one is so dumb that like an tap into the other one go back

just knocked her the second gear if she's trying to start off the line and second now she's crazy she likes attention let's hear it for a little while you had headaches and then you spoke to your sister on the phone and noticed that your voice is changing in health I tend to get off at 8 so I told him to start so my new roads up there left a message

alien by Thursday at the golden completely and then I lost my Swallow at the same time which is why this character is talking weird or cuz you can't swallow she's always spitting out now I've been diagnosed to the inability to swallow do you swallow know I've been diagnosed and inability to swallow plus I have a new accent

by the way I change the paperwork if I never swallow but here's the thing then it may be I mean look some people are barely holding on to reality is one fucking smack 1-1 smack upside the head and also former beauty pageant has foreign accent syndrome okay

former beauty queen let me hear it baby

foreign accent syndrome is a rare condition that only affects crazy people

still speaking their native language

she's never left the USA I thought this was her accent

is that weed

that sure is weed good I weed plant

cheese barbecue

she got so high she thought she was british-irish

September

2011 I started having problems with my voice, go don't got the same problem

I had someone ask me about my accident so I just making a new video I had a headache for about 3 days got rushed to the emergency room and this was in May of 2015 and so they have read me. Pause this this is nonsense this is like people think there a fox you can't stay in the house people crazy anymore you not allowed to owe you you are so rude you're insensitive to her condition maybe she's crazy right maybe like Fox can you know those people that are Fox can you know about this

Buckskin are people that really believe that they're in the wrong life-form that they should have been born at Fox specifically Fox some of them foxes some of them they think they're unicorns I think they're all kinds of shit so what

this is where it gets tricky because I think there's people that are legitimately transgender born in the wrong body but I think there's also people that are fucking crazy and they just decide that they should have been born a woman or a man or they go back and forth it would have got here so here we go there's a demon Angels Elvin Elvis polymorphs I want to be one of those people in Avatar I want to be the navi I'm not vegan

it's at the definition of IMDb what is the other 10 people who identify as parsley or entirely non-human a dragon a lion of fox you name it there's probably someone out there feels like there are more of these things and they are human the other king Community can be found lurking on Reddit Tumblr TV Tropes and other online forms believe it this poor people look I think they get fucked up when they're kids somebody probably cut the dick when they were baby are all confused instant trauma I mean I have mental illness I have a cousin who is paranoid schizophrenic all right and my dad would tell me about his my I don't know how the fucking second remove shit Works in my father's first cousin okay still alive dude smoked a carton of cigarettes in 3 days I mean we have no idea how is Everest throat fucking left but he was really fucking he was a black guy

karate he was great at lacrosse he had Hopkins Syracuse big schools open Adam and then he'll tell you he started doing drugs and he went fucking to sit Barrett route you just went off the fucking deep end and permanent disability diagnosed paranoid schizophrenic and you know he's we all love them but and he's fucking hilarious I kill play with it sometimes is on his meds and you can tell you I call your dial-in right now start telling family secrets right now is when you listen to him I can see it but we would go like he had an apartment

I'll go visit them from time to time and he had poetry and sayings and stuff written all over the wall and I'm like what is this the doctors come in through my window they drop liquid acid in my ears and they knocked me out and they start taking samples of my body and after they leave the love of my life comes and I can't communicate with so this is how I communicate with her these are there for when she comes in to speak for me and I'm like yeah so his windows are nailed shut to keep the doctors out my calls at work and he's like it's not

so one day I'm over there

and he's watching TV with the volume all the way down and the radio up and that's how he's watching this program and I'm telling you it started to fucking make sense as I got to go I got to get out of here Gary I'm trying to remember the name of it is when people are around skitzofrenix for too long they develop schizophrenia themselves really yeah there's some people who are sympathetic to it to the point where God I want to say I want to see is called California there's there's a some sort of a disease that occasionally infects people or our gets people that visit people in the hospital that are schizophrenia so someone will come like family member will come visit you and they will get diagnosed and in the end they will get admitted themselves

you know like to what stage but apparently it is it's a potential issue for some people because like I've ever been hypnotized

no I thought it was horseshit to my friend Vinny shoreman who is a sports hypnotist worst a lot of Fighters he hypnotize me and my well this is real it just puts you in a very bizarre steak feel at yes you're there you're awake you're conscious but you're in the strange State it's almost feel something I like you're at like a tube of Consciousness but yeah I'm listening to him and he's a friend I trust him he's a great guy so I wasn't weird about it sounds like. Yeah you could do it good to sleep with see what happens I was kind of skeptical like this horseshit but I've been to your been to one of those hypnotist comedy shows no my friend Frank Santos he was a guy who he's passed away but he was a big-time comedy hypnotist guy in Boston in in Rhode Island and he had a show and he I saw his show man he's to do like one night a week at stitches and one night a week at Nick's comedy stop and dude we would go down there on days off

just to watch it was crazy he would take people out of the artist who wants me and had a weird way of talking totally on assuming you didn't think you'd and then he would bring these people on stage and he would just be able to take sweetie going to go under you know you going to fall asleep going to fall asleep when I snap my fingers you're going to think you are Sally Field right next to you is Burt Reynolds and you would see these people and they really get away from the police told her he can speak to the guy that the guy was having sex with Madonna Madonna and you're squeezing her Booty's your boobie her boobies and she's naked and you're about to have sex with are you going to have sex you having sex with her right now and the guy had an orgasm on the stage he's he's sitting there on the stage

and obviously I'm talking people are falling out of the fucking chairs be crying laughing but it was real man and some people it wasn't real life zombie would look at him to go hey hey buddy hey buddy look at me look at me you're not under my friend but he could do it to some people and I'm telling you quit you doing this fucking 300 people in the room but you would like I'm going to chop my fingers on the count of three you're in the car or the police are chasing you one two three what are you doing now instant man I mean some people they just fall into the states of mind and they're open to suggestion some people can be hypnotized and this is why some people I think join Cults like

I'm watching this new Netflix programming Wild Wild Country crazy but some people I think more susceptible to suggestion and more susceptible to colds and I think that is that's what's happening I think that's what's happening with with at this hour for anything if that's what it's called I might be remembering incorrectly but this this thing that you being around a schizophrenic person you like whatever weird error their brain is making crazy too I got to get the fuck out of here cuz he's done he's harmless never heard anyone but he still of these days he's back then when he still knew martial arts how to sew

better term the Ventura Boulevard of Baltimore shops everywhere and everything there was a swarm woman that had cut his hair one time and for him to touch his head was a big deal for him this so he immediately fell in love with this lady her name is Carissa so he went home and got his guitar in the thing about this guitar like this dude on his bed his guitar everything but that guitar was always Out Of Tune exactly the same way that makes sense okay so fucked up every guitar he had that's how he tune. That's how you heard it now wow so he writes her be right there a Love Song and he wants to go up to her shop and now sing it for her

so he goes up he stands out in front of shop and he's gets her attention he's got his guitar and he's gone and starts off where you get he goes Chris I love you Baltimore accents car names so what he says Chrissa okay Chris I love you Chris I need you that he goes Crystal.

And she's freaking out like what the fuck yeah like your eyes so they call the police

he doesn't understand why he's arrested in his mind what did I do wrong I just wrote a beautiful song for someone I care about and I wanted to share it with her so my cousins all of us were like we got to go to court watch this is going

you got to go to court so they bring them out from the back and he stands up and it says a female judge and his mom I am are very smart grade at my grandmom sister rides extended family big time and I were all there watching and the judge says to ask a girl her side of things so cool this happened he's like she's like would you like to speak on your behalf he's like I just don't understand what I did wrong I wrote a song for someone I care about I just wanted to share it and she's like would you mind sharing some of the lyrics of we're all like a shity fucking Chris I love you Chris I need okay okay that's not about to let him go because the understanding to put a restraining order he's under supervision but they're about to let him go and she was always a second I was Stone open charge here on the books

so we're going to take you back that he starts losing his shit like what Maya Margaret stands up into a judge she goes hun we drop those charges everyone calls people hunting bomb was because hun we drop those try that lady said first of all

you don't call me hun I'm a judge or dressed him back and he was screaming going to do they put a family put a charge on them show up to their place in a cab the man they pay for it they didn't he threw a brick through the window so they have

Jesus Christ but it was just a clerical error that never made it to the paperwork and she's like I got to do what I got to do we're taking you back today and oh my God yes that part A timers

but one that really blew my mind was

he had the scab on his stomach and he was like they keep coming in and cut me and testament they're taking me to the doctor today Ryan I think I got something I got a disease in that that cut I'm going to do he's like I got a plan so I talk to him later that day and I was like what did you do about that cuz you know what I did with that I picked it off and throw it away

like the sky tell me about people stop fighting and it's not funny but the shit he would we would take him so be me and my two brothers his daughter in Tucson on Christmas Eve we go over we need a food would hang out with them for a little while and shit and every times where he's like you guys going to join like we should be smoking and back to my aunt's in the city which is 12 minutes away we get back

what are you all giving him we here he would rather us out he went

facts about the way to give you a big fat joint so then we would play that one is crazy ass but I gave him because he smokes that he would come to my grandma's house when I live with her

it's at the chair and you smoke cigarettes like this I'm he doesn't pull it any farther away than 3 by 3 Inches from his mouth and not feel go through three pack my his mom died of breast cancer she would say all the time I don't know how he even has a fucking throat left and I'm dying of cancer over here and he is he still alive still alive smoking cigarettes like that to still smoking cigarettes in 3 days what is a carton I don't even have 20 packs packs a day like that a day

oh my God that is so crazy. What do you remember what it was like before it was get the phrenic

I don't because when I was a kid he was already gone but my dad love them would bring him out to the house cuz he was sick he was just crazy he would say she don't give a fuck Brett but my dad would tell me all the time he was a phenomenal athlete like I said great at karate had a black belt cross town is the area where my aunt never sold Greektown in Baltimore snot you know Greek is long gone in that neighborhood but that's where he grew up he would try to tell me that Highlandtown was the Haight-Ashbury in Baltimore I'll get the fuck out of here at that garbage but he was doing acid you know early 1112 eventually after like into the College Years the twenties he really fucking ramp it up and then he told me this before hundred percent you know the made himself crazy

Tennessee to schizophrenia or the maybe they have a likelihood of developing it later in their life it's acid trips mushroom trips heavy psychedelics tend to bring out schizophrenia they they tend to make it manifest so maybe he was right for it because there's no other mental illness in the family it's just me think about how many people have had horrible horrible acid trips just taking way too much and try to fight it and just been fucked up for days and weeks and then you still feel slippery eat like life feels weird even after those trip I had a DMT trip one time that fuck me up for a couple weeks like for a couple weeks after that be driving my car to be thinking it's going to be a car it's going to lunch itself off the fucking studded the oncoming Lane and fly right into me I was thinking I had this image of us to be upside down and hit the windshield flying upside down, I need 4 weeks

yeah weeks weeks afterwards that's why I'm scared of that shit's because I tried to think about what was possibly happen and I think it dissolve my ego so much and it made me think so much about how relatively unimportant every single person is in terms of the greater scheme of the universe that whatever it did to me had broke down all my conceptions of myself on my preconceived notions of myself so much that my ego was freaking out so we tried to invent danger so I would have to be more Primal to defend myself if you look out instead of me going man what the fuck is life what is this what is what is the energy that courses through your body what is the purpose of the human race like what are we moving towards why are we so committed to Innovation and Technology at all these crazy thoughts were I was trying to figure out what the purpose of the activities of the human race were

that it was so bizarrely different than my normal pattern of thought that my mind just started coming up with all sorts of weird paranoid ideas with things it took me like 2 weeks before I normalize after 2 weeks I felt and what I do DMT again for years after that so here's the meanings of come on and talked about it is it is it obviously asking you because she isn't that the chemical your body releases as you die but they don't really know they know that your body makes they know that your liver makes in your lungs make it and they think that your pineal gland makes it which is your third eye like in and reptiles that actually has a retina & Allen's really the pineal gland it's it's in the center of your brain literally as your figured I like if you look at like a third eye in the Eastern mysticism that's where the pineal gland is and now they know that rats while they're alive produce DMT in the pineal glands is a new study that was done

I think this research was published over the last 5 or 6 years so because of the fact they know that now there suming that human beings also produced in the pineal gland which would you know it kind of sort of verifies when everybody was thought the pineal gland and they took they would called the seat of the Soul at this is where you are at your journey to the afterlife begins in the pineal gland in the Disco chemical Gateway opens up your soul passes through to the great beyond but it can't be like a bad trip on the way out that bad DMT trips I got Stanhope high on DMT and I thought he was dying he's at is at my house he sees it moaning and foaming at the mouth is I never seen anybody do that before I see a bunch of most people smoke DMT they do this they smoke it and then just go

they lay back and then this this overwhelming experience happens them for like 15 minutes and then they come back they don't move they just it's not ours Ayahuasca is an orally active experience with DMT with Ayahuasca is when you if you tried to eat DMT DMT is broken down in your gut buy something called Mono amine oxidase so when they make Ayahuasca what they do is they take part of one plant which has dimethyltryptamine in part of another plant which has something called harming which is a DM it's a mono amine oxidase inhibitor MAO inhibitors there's some and medications and if so is a bunch of like you'll be very careful if you're taking mushrooms or something on that you not taking MAO inhibitors as well but so you take this stuff together and when it does this gives you an orally active DMT trip so as it's broken down by your gut it's like a slow release DMT trip it'll take several hours

as opposed to this fucking to the center of the universe that you get when you take it when you smoke it cuz when you smoke it or intravenous use if it goes directly in your bloodstream it's just impossible to avoid you cannot you can't hang on you just it's going to take you to the center of the fucking universe and you're going to experience life forms and interaction with spirits and angels and aliens and gestures for me with a bunch of jesters they were giving me the finger it was giving me the finger like fuck you like it was very very very very powerful but the Stanhope one was the only time I ever saw someone who I thought they were going to die and I still got one of my best friends by kills Dan hope I get you know I was like

I remember I think I did it first cuz I think he had to he hadn't done it before so I said I'll do it watch me do it and just sit down here and then you do it next so I did it I'm gone 15 minutes come back like you're ready right now so give it to him and you know stanhope's been drinking since he was three these his his body is loosely held together with duct tape you know it's lies down if he lies down and pushes a stomach out he's got these he's got these fucking what is it called no not hemorrhoids was it called hernias he's got hernias was his stomach poke through the wall of the stomach or is his gut will the line he's got a bunch of those no pop up like you're supposed to get those checks

East and I talked about this too he's like one of those no MRI guys no doctors no MRIs and I don't want to know what's going on in there that's everyone dead and my family by the way that's why I go to dr. Dre and this was more than 10 years ago this is probably 2002 this is all going down so me and Stanhope for all my couch and he is moaning like this is coming out of the corner of his mouth and he's like slumped over and I'm just praying to please don't die please don't because I didn't expect this but everybody else maybe a handful of people do the same thing the fuck was that about but he was mumbling he came back it's like a whole life it's the life I just there's a constant cycle it's like she just goes on to the next thing and then life goes on and life is like

I'm so far behind so far. How was my thinking I'm so far behind with everything and I'm just like I'm just glad you're alive dude yeah no shit my cousin like that sometimes I watch people almost died on drugs that I was with the one that scared me was my cousin we found out my cousin Timmy is he's allergic to it's got to be it just destroyed I mean app up like that will fucking turn him gray and suck this what I had she was turning 19 I think it was I'm living with them of the time my grandmother just passed away and I don't have a place to stay in her sister took me in

and I'm living with them and my cousin Jennifer is like I'm having a birthday party tonight at the house the girls are all going to come back here right so my we get some good weed from Oregon is rare to get good fucking bud from the West Coast in the early 90s regularly you always got we caught a practice weed that's what we always welcome. And I rode one it was beautiful it just had a pencil point to a while we're smoking and I was like let its February so fucking call hold up that bone Chokehold on the cats go sit in my car I will smoke this joint I had a 1990 Honda Civic with original rims for 04 in their fucking smoking

Wireless in the Hendricks and he takes one hit me just let me have them so we get out of the car and he's like just standing up and I'm walking down the driveway and I remember visually seeing that gust of wind come around the corner house and just plan itself in my fucking chest so I get the fucking shakes its like 2 degrees outside off we go in the house and we're just start throwing thermals and shit on and as I'm doing I'm looking at him and I'm like you don't look so good he's like Ray start sweating always feel good I might go upstairs and get some water right now and it progressed so quickly and he look like shit so bad that I'm over in the mirror

I go out to come tell my cousin his sister what happens and there's a fireplace fire is gone I'm sitting next to her and we're just warming up and I'm like he goes but she goes with brother over there. We just went out in the car we got high and he's fucking freaking out she goes well there's 19 girls here and 17 of us are tripping on acid right now I'll go Chris two girls scared of the other group locked in the bathroom

he comes back down the stairs and he's just for used battling for life at this point he's try to get the bathroom they think it's the girls on assets they're not letting anyone in he he just turns around and at the time will watch I'm looking now and you just takes two steps and expands erect and does rocks back and goes Face Forward into the banister it crashed lost his face over he lays on the ground starts having like a Little Caesar on my oh my God I'm where you are my all my God I just fucking kill them Friday had just come out my cousin Allpoint jumps on top of them is like you got knocked the fuck out

by the way my aunt and uncle they're asleep upstairs I got his eyes are rolling back in his head this one girl grabs the fucking phone to call nine-one-one she hits 9 she hits one I've already got his head tilted I'm ready to go I'm very good in Controlled Chaos and I'm just I'm about to fucking put my mouth and I can't believe I got to get my cousin they're all laugh at their own ass if they don't think they can soleri I go to put more about this closing

I was locked inside myself I heard everything you said

couldn't respond right I was stuck inside myself here come out now his teeth or through his lip here cuz he's hit the baddest chicks on acid now see the blood and Ally start freaking out like all my guys are 17 girls of 19 mass and on. I was like you just gotta suck it up and tough it out so he waited till the morning and got my uncle cuz it just busted his lip all up and he was like I just tripped on steps in at the banister but that was the second time that we almost killed his ass he did a gravity bong one time out of the kitchen sink I really thought he was going to die I'm like why would you ever touch weed again I was in New York Stillman Fear Factor

candles with some friends that I don't know if they get high and they definitely don't get high in a regular basis but we're all having a good time where the bar and it's post 911 right and so New York had a lively weird feel to it like a friendly feel to it was very strange like after 9/11 something happened in New York where it was so devastating and horrible that in the recovery process people are nicer to each other was very strange so anyway it was a friendly feeling so we're all sitting outside we're in this bar we're having a couple of drinks what you know it's right after filming I'm with the producers and a bunch of people that work on the show and we go and they go yeah California weed yeah I'm serious California weed I don't remember what the name of it was like whatever the jailbreak what the fuck was probably his death it was really strong

we all take the stuff out of this joint I take a hit a pass to my friend he takes his head he passes it to this other guy and then he pass it to my friend shy and she's one of the producers in the show she takes a head of it in her eyes roll back inside of her head and her knees buckle and then she just goes and it's worth on the street you know dropped dropped Carter car just in time caught her and you know we we had to call the fire department in will call nine-one-one fire department came and checked her out and then you know they can probably smell weed a mile away as if somebody read over a fucking skunk and feel like a man what are you doing I got a weird feeling in the Fear Factor here and you know she just she got dizzy is it go she got dizzy huh lucky we caught her man because if we didn't catch her she was going to bounce your head off the concrete I mean she just went limp just went like this like our eyes went back just want to test and I think it was me and my friend Tom want up catching her butt

was weird like her body to shut off her body like too much pot like everybody was more comfortable going unconscious than it was dealing with being that high. Quick tell me if you've ever heard that she be the person to ask so a couple times not for me get the fuck out of here you know what I mean like it's enough that's enough I get it but a friend of mine this was my first moved out here we went and saw Pink Floyd at the Rose Bowl weed and some drinks and he's got a couple sky and girl going to meet us there and she brings shrooms and I'm just like I'm cool I'll pass but the three of them do the shrooms and we're in the middle of concert and fucking two pigs are enslaved in their bowels and we're having a great fucking time

and I look to my left over here and I look back to my right knee my friends gone he's gone and I I hear screams and I

and I looked down and he's passed out okay he's going into a seizure so Rose Bowls the bleacher Stadium seats so he what happened was he fell back and his feet got locked up under the bleachers in front of them so he's completely like this and these fucking idiots behind the bleachers and he starts going into a fucking seizure and I'm like I've never seen anybody do this

I don't know if the girl that gave it to him she saw it and she just immediately had the $5 concert and I don't know what to do and I just fucking punched

what's the shit out of it as fat as face bro like 2 minutes I was like is about 15 seconds duties at holy shit and then he was fine after that but I've never seen them I don't know if the head strike in the bleachers what caused the seizure but he just passed out from shrooms I've never seen that before does happen people get knocked out in the seizure that does happen I seen that before the toes lock up this vicious dangerous

Aya the weirdest thing this this is make me laugh just the weirdest thing I've ever seen on weed and I was smoking weed so I'm a oriole fan I'm a Ravens fan and then back in the day I'd go to Anaheim by myself to see the Orioles and play the angels and just was built around there that's a dirt lot I go buy a scalp tickets single from this dude and then I'd go across the street to like $4 parking and we're like it's a business complex like ladwp a square in the park in the middle it's just me and a friend of mine one time he's like hey he's a Cubs fan he's like I know you're going to go to the game today I love baseball you mind if I roll with you I'm like now man let's go do it together so we go out answer let you know it's getting out there like 11 and the two of us are sitting in the middle of this empty parking lot of hundreds of spaces were smoke

like a hundred fifty yards down this corner this fucking pickup truck hops the curb and I mean like a hundred miles an hour is gunning right I said Jen with your friends going on and let you know those are like those Cadillac commercials that on the dry lake beds with the Mirage and it's coming right at you that's what this fucking thing looks like Parks like just four spaces to are left this lady gets out what's up and she pops a tailgate down it's all happening so fast is obviously her shit cuz she's just fluid doing everything she grabs think snaps it open it's a big ass wheelchair she goes over the passenger door she opens the door up and she gets her friend out who doesn't have legs and we're like what the fuck is happening right now she sets her friend in the wheelchair she's like

shots let's do it we party.

How to know where dude just decided to party with your pulling in here you're here we're here she doesn't have legs were fucking doing this so we were like you know she was a roll there like what's up

what you sticking shit on her blanket

I was like I think I've ever seen but I've been smoking marijuana right there, yes and guy I like the story like I didn't know what she was quite so that but what she told me she said you got a Cherokee I go how'd you get in town I should cuz you can hop the curb down there and park back here for free I did that for two more seasons all that off that tip of her so she just busy wheel drive over the curb and go seek

yeah partying it's not good for you but it makes some good God damn memories I remember it took me when I first started I was a late bloomer on weed I was 21 when I started smoking 30 yeah you are late it took me a month to the whole idea of just having to learn how to smoke have to take smoke into my lungs and I just didn't even dawn on me and I'll just be a call it's taking it I won't call for anything so it took like a month before I got high in the first time I got high I remember freaking the fuck out I was trying to talk myself to look at the plant you can overdose unless you smoke you want me to her that one time I don't know if I should even a newborn baby can't do it I'm saying it to myself but I kept asking questions out loud like

I'm dying to know what they were like shut the fuck up my step dad smoked weed and we stole it once when I was in high school and me and my girlfriend and my friend Josh smoke pot over my girlfriend's house and we were

16 I think I was 16 my girlfriend is 15 and we got so hot that we would wake up in the kitchen and then wake up in the living room like we would miss would like to sometime if you missing spots like how did we get here I got never forget that like what when you 16 you don't really get paranoid coz not worry too much about stuff you're too stupid your brain has a fully-formed you know and I didn't really understand pot I have no idea how much we smoked we just kept smoking it in my whole body was tingling and we're at like lying on the couch together and we like couldn't move it like oh my God I can't move and I'll said we were in the kitchen standing from the fridgerator what kind we get here love you too high waisted know what we had no idea what was happening

overwhelming Rush where they don't really know what this is or what to do right Chris McGuire Bunch TV shows now praise one of the he produces I think he's the executive producer of that Snoop Dogg and Martha Stewart be okay anyway I think it's something else in it no no it's just that's with pots like today like no no no no no no this isn't pot in pot this is more than pot like no. This is what part is no pot is now a different thing like you got totally you go back some pot from the 1960s those hippies in what the fuck there's that was fucking bullshit spot today's scientifically organized so my uncle he's in his 80s he's got stage 4 cancer he's on his way out and he's not eating at all as couple weeks now as I had a bite to eat like 2 weeks and my cousin takes care of me is like

I thinking about giving them weed in my give him we give it to him he's fucking 80 couple years old he's got stage what does it matter at this point like hair on your whatever the fuck he wants to put him at rest is it going I'm going to give him weed and smoke some used to smoke a pipe bomb smoke a little bit so he goes down and he gives them some weed he smokes it and he's like I'm just going to stay here with you for a few hours and

2 hours go by the caddy feels like I don't really feel anything but I'm tired of him to go to bed and the next day my cousin goes back to see him with some more weed and he's like how was last night he goes I didn't feel weird he goes by fast lap like up music all right good let's let's try this again day to not eating after almost 2 weeks nothing smokes weed and he sitting with them for a couple hours is like how you feel good she ate a fucking plate of spaghetti and meatballs heavy ass meatballs on Day 2 from smoking marijuana and I was like keep is Maryland's way behind I think they finally just have their first then only legal dispensary and he's the prime candidate for that shit you know what I mean I'm going to go get him a prescription now and just let him smoke himself on the way out that's one of the saddest things about it being illegal and stigmatize for so long and so many people with diseases and arthritis inflammation also it's a problem that I've just been just you know just told that they can't

tell them they can't have this one things going to give them relief and still not hurting anybody it's just a plant I got some CBD cream on my back right now phone works it's phenomenal side effects I'm new to the CBD side of it and I'm just like man it really fucking works

fanny pack I got this Liberty lotion stuff is here using that whenever you feel like you feel outside of my hip feels real stiff nose bother me I put some of that shit on before I went to bed and woke up in the morning I was like would it go away was we I went to bed early with aching and I woke up in the morning nothing I just rather that stuff all up on there it just reduces inflammation and write down there is nothing like a bunch of my love I mean I'm so new to I went and got this one that was

like super strength and may I can't believe it how come babies I had a rough patch on an albatraoz I was going to take that shit was any sort of inflammation diseases like people that have like sore joints and you know but problems with muscles that stops amazing just loosens you up and it doesn't hurt you it doesn't fuck you up it doesn't get you high you feel exactly the same and some people would take it orally I take it orally occasionally but most the time I just rub it on like any parts or take it orally like people said they find it relieves anxiety and help some relax and it doesn't fuck you up but you can drive it's not like you're high right now it just tells you a little bit down I just got up CBD vape pen the vape pens don't work well for me the marijuana ones I plant works well for my system even Edibles don't know that I took two stars of death in front of Joey Diaz

this fucking guy he doesn't get high on Edibles feel like I feel like I would have to figure out what that number is go past that point and then dial it back from there and I don't really want to go past that fucking point you know 1300c what if that's what you felt it I don't know that I did I'm sure I did a little bit obviously I had to have like I did it again I took a thousand and played video games in like 5 hours in it was it was really tough to play a game that is like I didn't care I didn't want to sit there anymore so it's hard to keep my attention on it so it obviously worked at some point but it wasn't free I wasn't freaking out or anything like that I can't take more than a hundred I go into the hundreds and I start getting weirded out like I like I'm a 25 to 50 mg High because it gives me a little high just get a little high and I'm fine

I'll go I'll take a hundred and go on the tank but when I get in there I say that why did I do that hey man forgive yourself you're 14 stop it yourself I brought your fourth day but I think about stupid shit that I did when I was a little kid it's it's so it just it forces you to examine anything in your life that you might have pushed aside and figure out what the fuck did you behave that way and how are you different now and how he grown past that that's the thing about marijuana that it's a really highlight so there's a lot of it

people say makes you paranoid and it and it certainly does but I think a lot of what that is is just making you aware of things you're trying to not think about it's convenient for you and normal life to not think about those things but as soon as you get high marijuana is like hey this some shit that bothering you and your not even thinking about it it come with me we go to the back your head on my shoulder China Lite on this dress this motherfucker how much clean the shit out

yeah those pans I do like them if you try them I have I'm not a fan occasionally will use a pain but I prefer smoking joints yep that's what I like yeah that's it is so when from time to time I'll clean out my adjust my place I believe in just getting cluttered opens up so many different Avenues to bring other things in so I instead of just throwing it all away I make a game out of it so I go out to the Pasadena Rose Bowl and I just saw my shit I just sit there in the parking space and a half by myself and I fucking self garbage and my goal every time is to sell everything whatever I don't sell I swing by Goodwill I donate it and then I'm out of there how much is he doing that hundred fifty bucks what does Solid 4 5 hour day out there having fun just yell at people watching cuz you see a lot

attics to whatever it is shoes belts leather whatever then you see people who are addicted to the sale that's just too good to pass up I don't need that for an iron but it's $0.50 I'm buying that motherfucker you know what I mean you like wow so you see you're like oh okay you really like you want all my leather goods you know they'll come running to you for musical instruments in the first wave of people there sprinting through my daughter's mother we were going to sell our I'm like I'll make it least bring her 50 bucks it's fun day throw it towards some baby stuff you know so

I glad you got to get out there before the Sun's Up you know I didn't and you got all kinds of people out there they're praying to Mecca before the sun comes up and she like this is a whole universe of different fucking people not only the sellers the buyers in this the world false the Second Sunday of every month and basically you're park at your space is a parking space and a half that's all you get is narrow so people right on top of you so I pull the truck in and then I just set everything up behind it so I can show on the truck and I just put blankets

I guess I just start yelling everything like that but

play a game to look a friend of mine he would go once in awhile I'm like alright let's pick the fucking item you should never be able to sell but our goal is you got a fucking cell and we had I had a VHS self prostate exam a VHS cassette and I was like I'm going to sell this he's like you're definitely not going to sell that today and I packaged it was a little roll away and I was like by the way this is a hilarious Father's Day prank she's bought it boom but I just get out there and I yell you know cuz I sold a leather jacket a nice one in the Sky Keeps bringing him up and I don't bring plant that you can smell that a mile away so I bring these little you know that brought this vape pen

and I'm hitting the fucking thing and I'm heading to think I'm all set up now I got a $10 table $5 blankets and whatever's doesn't sell by about 11:30 noon I start now to $2 blanket now it's a dollar blanket everything and I'm just about everything about who you bullshittin and they come running over and I'll buy books and I start to feel this weird sensation in my chest and spreads to my arms and it's almost like like I'm almost powerless I can't I can't raise my arms and I see the circle start the clothes I'm like I'm by myself like there's no fight away free through this shit I'm just never passed out but that's Circle was fucking closing and I caught myself

now they able to keep up with it and I was texting my daughter is my liking some chicken. It's fucking 6 a.m. so I sell as I get back to myself and I start selling shit and by the end of that day I fucking sold the table I brought to bring the shit on I went home with nothing then I get home and she's like how'd you do when I go not as good as I thought I would cuz I thought I make 350 so they start telling me that everybody an apartment complex have bats against me of what I would make now that was a top like a hundred fifty I fucking through 6 * $50 on that table like that's a good mother fukin GS almost died he smokes from the time he goes to bed and I was like I'm at Marty's pens this weekend at the thing because I hit one this weekend at a wedding into a seizure

Facebook I'm throw Hospital from the weapon he said for a good 15 minutes when they were like you're at the hospital he didn't know what hospital was he when he said it took him a minute to come back to himself and I was so I just recently tried a new one again I was like let me just try it like an idiot but for like a good two weeks I had that feeling of like I didn't have my strengths you know what I mean like I put in your life yeah it was so weird all cross this stuff cuz there's a bunch of oils and stuff used to melt wax if he's like dude when did Todd of a heart attack so little while ago few years back step-by-step what you're saying to me

I'd like to get rid of that fake just regular that's it you don't need anything else give me stuff and sometimes I like blunts I like blunts this is the latest thing with Tobacco on the outside and don't like that the thing I never liked about the blunts was I really like the taste of weed and I that old Phillies like that rapper that dominates the flavor it's like cilantro and that's that stuff is this stuff it's got its like got some sort of a nice tobacco leaf outside but powerful weed inside just be careful how many yeah I bet yeah that fucking looks like he's like a little elevated thing to like I had split Charlie Murphy was always into them and that's how I first got introduced the blunts was hanging out with Charlie we did a tour together and

and I we would get high together Charlie was always rolling blunts I was like I got a little extra kick but yeah the pain thing and just people are trying to find new ways to get fucked up like this enough ways they already established best of the joy joy to the best I mean does the I was telling you about those doctors we were talking before the show and the thing he said about smoking a bowl is just the only thing you have to worry about the butane you're sucking in from the lighter it's not the glass don't put it in like tasted alcohol I've never seen that before and I don't know if that's it I don't know if that's any better for you or not but it was an alcohol lighter instead of a butane lighter but I've used before

moonlighter they stink right and it's you supposed to light it date and let those real cigar dorks they'll take a cigar or lighter rather and they'll light a piece of Cedar and then they use that piece of Cedar to light the the cigar bar close no bullshit no no bulshit fumes. Take a match light the Cedar and then take that cedar like the cigar

yeah I'm not a blonde fan. But I get it I smoked enough over but I'm like really like that that's why I like joints cuz you can taste the weed I enjoy the taste of marijuana on your weed stuff again today it's nice nice I did thank you so much man I would love to, subscribe every Tuesday were out and I'm Ryan sickler on all social media Ryan took out what do they catch on tour hilarious stand-up comedy store actually tonight and I'm there next week in the main room at 8:30 and I'm at the Hollywood on the 14th and I'm at the Hollywood improv on the 16th

that's it folks goodbye everybody see you fuckers in Chicago

thank you everybody for tuna to the podcast and thank you tour sponsors thank you to betterment visit betterment.com Rogen and listeners can get up to one year manage three that's betterment.com Rogan we are also brought you buy Zoom Video Communications ladies and gentlemen the best video Communications going to get your greasy little paws on setup your free account today at Zoom. Us meet happy with zoom Video Communications Zoom. Us and we are also brought to you by zip recruiter why I always say ZipRecruiter it just seems Zippy zip is a word from the thirties Zip Zip Zip

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next week my friend Tom Papa will be here

Dave Rubin Adam Frank Daniel Straus got a lot of people coming in I'm excited alright I'll see you folks in Chicago this weekend Friday night Andrew Santino and Tony Hinchcliffe coming with me guaranteed good times for excited about the UFC card as well and that's it I love you people and appreciate you very much thank you for tuna to the podcast I hope you enjoyed it and will see you soon alright bye bye

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