#1146 - Jeff Garlin

The Joe Rogan Experience #1146 - Jeff Garlin

July 25, 2018

Jeff Garlin is a comedian, actor, producer, director, and writer.

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Hello friends the fuck is up I'm hitting that road next dates available are August 10th I'm in Kansas City this I still some tickets left for that and then the next one's for sale after that there's this a few for Vancouver on August 24th and then a few on Columbus motherfukin Ohio and that's September 14th and then the 29th in Toronto that's enough information Joe Rogan. Com and get all that good shit find out what size to be back in kids

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► 00:02:43

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► 00:03:55

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► 00:05:45

a good friend Justin Wren who's been on the podcast many many times he has a charity that builds Wells for the pygmies in the Congo and who knows how many lives this guy has single-handedly saved by his tremendous efforts he's been there many many times to spend many months out of the year they are he's caught malaria 3 fucking times doing this and he's a beautiful amazing person and through the cash app in this program we raise thousands of dollars we've already built to Wells in the Congo and more being built it's it's a wonderful program so download for free use the reward code Joe Rogan all one word you get five five bucks goes to a wicked cause

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my guess today is Jeff Garlin Blaze gem you might know Jeff from probably one of the all-time not probably definitely one of the all-time greatest comedies ever Curb Your Enthusiasm he is currently on the Goldbergs with the brother Bryan Callen he's a fucking awesome guy I really love this dude and he's a hilarious stand-up comedian to give it up Jeff Garlin

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The Joe Rogan Experience

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hello Jeffrey hello Joe how you doing man I'm young and handsome you are young and yes we all are not dead at Mount jet-lagged yeah how are you I'm a big boy statement I am I am it don't doubt me what I done purple don't doubt you could semen good to see you too what's the latest what is the latest about to start another season of The Goldbergs another season of curb after that fabulous Bryan Callen I love working with Bryan County makes me laugh all the time she later I was very much that's cool

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cool man what's the latest with the other stand up career around the store a lot the store on occasion I don't do the store that much anymore because I've stopped doing showcase spots for the most part I just do I have a regular show every Friday night at The Improv in the lab and I do you know an hour and 10 minutes and then occasionally I do Flappers which is a horrible name get in Burbank but it's a great room on occasion on Sunday nights so I do an hour going out of the house for 15-20 minutes not worth my time is it do you when you do like an hour set do you plan your sets out or do you have like some material that you like to be working on it is that why you like the freedom of having an hour or so you can just kind of fuck around if no preparation whatsoever except that may think I'll talk about that tonight but I've no preparation I met

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bring up a story of told before but I have no idea literally when I step on stage I have no idea what I'm going to talk about what does help me what I've done for quite a while now is I come up to a different song every time I come up and then I just talked about that song at the story of the making of that song who sang that song what that song means to me and that will usually lead me to something that's all I need the reason why I ask is you are very unusual style like I've seen you a bunch of times at the store you have a very loose tooth fairy looks likes it's a great thing cuz yeah be like super original preparation and say things set up punch line in the correct order every night I'm only confident in the fact that I'm funny I am not confident in any other fact in terms of going on stage with the knowledge that no matter what goes down I am funny and will be funny but that's it

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and are you doing the road at all hardly ever it when I do the road it's I did London in December that a couple weeks to shows weeks couple weeks so altogether it's a small cool theater I don't even know I don't even pay attention that good yeah I I just I got to London I go to New York on occasion and perform I use I played everywhere I played everywhere from Indianapolis to Seattle to Miami and all points in between you know Tucson you know six years old I've got two TV shows I develop a bunch of other stuff I'm passionate about my stand up I get enough enough to earn a living by going on the road which I had to in

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so I stay home and do my stand up when I can but that's the nice thing that's a beautiful thing to work to get use that travel you know it what the thing that no one understands is the only joy that you can possibly get when you travel is the moment when you're on stage and if that's Troublesome or not fun it's a drag it's depressing but those moments on stage if they're great so worth it yeah I know it's the thing also when you go on the road if you have to do morning radio and you have to do those pants on something I can sure help it screws up your time and I know what time you go to bed cuz that would like to set I don't worry as much on a consistent basis what time I wake up cuz that'll automatically automatic I try consistently to go to bed at the same time every night

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it's a different approach that psychiatrist told me and it has worked wonders for me psychiatrist told you yeah the same time everyday Brian he said focus on going to bed at the same time every night and that'll be more productive for you and I do that with a serve a half hour to fall asleep to maybe read for a minute whatever but I'm in bed usually by 10 I've never gone to a psychiatrist but one one of the shows that I was on I was like the only person on the set that didn't go to Psychiatry maybe I'm fucked up by the way if you're functioning in the world that's great congratulations I have sometimes trouble functioning in the world house and and and a well it's like I find going on stage I'm fearless and I don't even like leave

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my house I prefer to stay home I love napping so I love napping if I could smoke some indica and take a nap everyday I do Transcendental Meditation I do all shell things at home and I leave to work I don't like going to parties I like a good dinner party cuz that means I can have an actual conversation with someone right but I was just at a party the other night a goodbye party for a friend of mine it was a Jeff Ross's house and I had the worst time I lasted 20 minutes don't people could talk to her comedians with Jeff Ross his party but comedian some people with man buns in the hot tub is very unsettling in wrong I wanted nothing to do with it I said my goodbyes to my friend and she's moving to Japan LOL I said my goodbyes but I was out of respect to her that I went but out of respect to myself I didn't stay

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man buns in the hot tub is never a good combination. Over and over you don't belong there restaurants to me like in a big way a couple years ago it's like samurais and then there was a big drop off for a long time

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remember I think it was like a lot of the year I was at a gas station in Studio City and I was seconds away from talking to this dude he had a man bun that looks like a bird's nest with that live with a waterfall on the outside and I just went why I want to make this a conversation

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I don't get it I feel like what it is is it's like they're they're letting you know that this is me when I'm out when I'm at home and I'm feeling sexy I just undo that and I don't know what it is I just relax and I unravel footballer on the big brother I can know you're not sexy medical during like a jew-fro type festival happening when I was younger like longer curly but not like shoulder-length weird football year was bell rock band the band bass player big man bun Big Bowl around haircut in a rock band what are you doing with that fucking button-down cancer

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haircut plant band against type is a big bowl of delightful not answer on this one group of men's like I thought David Bowie's band 10 machine I didn't really dig their music but I love the look of all them wearing the suits with a close-cropped hair is so odd and so undeniably creative that he's allowed to get away with anything if you have any sort of confidence you can accept it is right here at the history of Bowie's should have cut his hair short they want the long hair three guys to be too much

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the big ball of come on man come on bro yeah but for something to some reason why it is okay in a band but it's not okay for Comic like a comic wood long like Led Zeppelin here because you know what happens when a comic does that their whole lack becomes about it and it's like dude that's just boring guy yeah a lot of material about his hair I just you know I used to when I was younger I went for the obvious I did a lot of material about having a big head no notice of no interest to me that you couldn't also do like the Robert Plant shirt thingy that I have I have a Robert Plant shirt. He just called the nurses do it better or nurses Summit nursing on its bottom blue he wore them one of the Zeppelin tours in the early seventies and I sought for sale in Amazon

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I bought one that doesn't give out the same pack yeah it's different with different people right one of my non sequiturs to tell people at them as you love the nursing industry I just said nursing industry I've said that the nurses you just don't know how to make this guy is a certain things you shouldn't looks that came and went and people try to bring back like remember a few years back they were trying to bring back bell-bottoms no yes spell Mary was actually photograph a couple of days ago at a golf course with some fabulous bell bottom of that it's beautiful and perfect Bill Murray

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I think it's cuz of his kids that's why I was a family thing that's a beautiful shot and interviewed him in his small town where he lives and it's like wow this guy just kind of hanging out being normal no girlfriend no wife just just being himself now we was talking about at the end of my shows I always think the audience for actually leaving their homes to come see me because I know what an effort that is and I'm so appreciative of it you're just a homebody type character that's always my life is extraordinary so I want to live an ordinary ordinary life as I can you know

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just calm down and then I'll ask Terry cell for it why I'm doing it and I know but Jeff Ross's you know I go to a dinner party if he had one again I'm I'm done now with the Jeff Ross parties but I am not going anymore this party's to put two hands on the shoulders tell me love them what does a man bun he's a producer Pro yeah he said he's helping me with a project

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what was the name of the pool party I'm going to bring my suit in the pool with two other people I didn't really notice that there was a man that's unfortunate if it's not a pool party and you said to get in the pool that's always awkward as fuck I just didn't belong yeah you got to be like to take off your clothes when everybody else Pro naked good for you I'm Pro naked I mean for me I'm all companies what your fit the fact that I'm proud of you will hear you're really your passions are comedy and fitness that's one thing she has one thing I love that movie but at that's when he was in Trafalgar Square yes yes I remember that moment I'm not happy unless some exercising

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I'm not happy unless I'm napping so we go Well everybody's dairy free and I eat sugar-free that's awesome but that's good, and I aspire to be more of a vegetarian but I'm not obsessed with it do you read books on nutrition books and erosion yes someday Bryan Callen even recommended to me that's 100 books Kindle hold on I'll tell you what he recommended and they were good I like every one of those kind of books even if they're not well written or whatever I learn something from I pick up I read a tongue that's what I do when I'm at home I read a lot I listen to albums and I read music and the playlist

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okay well I Am 1000 albums 2000 new house which will be have a specific room that I will go into to strictly play guitar and listen to analog if you he's an acquaintance of Mine He's a fascinating God he's a fascinating got good man very good take that with him at Largo I dig him big-time just got these crazy quarter million dollar speakers in his house you know like there's a speaker room the room is all these albums and those those gigantic things on the right I think is Robert Hilburn who was the critic for the LA Times that's how much I took music

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Ford hilborn I'm pretty sure so Henry gets Henry will who obviously became famous Johnny Cash I love Johnny Cash I had a dog named Johnny Cash just died recently fortunately my granddaughter's name is Johnny Cash. Those still speakers are fucking crazy look at these speakers he's got like 8000 prepare and I thought I was not looking for I know I download and I don't want to own them but how many people I mean that's a wealthy that's where you want to put your money on that yellow one what's up

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because they look like plumbing supplies don't look good looks futuristic again why we get fat by on his name why we get fat and the 4-Hour Body oh yeah okay to nutrition stuff and I'm in my at my most I was 3:20 and I'm currently in the two forties that's not and I'm making the transition now to hopefully low 230 somewhere the 2:20 and then building up muscle and I'll never be fit like you and I'm not nuts I'm not saying that to insult myself in terms of like you know but you this is passion of yours it's not a passion of mine I just want to live life at a higher level right and I better love. I want to feel great

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delightful the big things cutting carbohydrates are too much brass that's good my body not having those things I react positively so and everything else is okay for me I do Pilates hard really hard yeah I know right Pilates teacher is great I do what I swim I work with a trainer I play tennis playing tennis tomorrow morning to pack my tennis teacher at play golf which is not that physical however like I was at the store buying stuff the other day in at the golf store and he want the guy with nice guy helping me wanted to sell me something that I have to bend over to get the ball I go I think that bending over and as matter fact stretching my hamstrings really I don't know the benefit I get from golf if I didn't at least bend just telling you now

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the bend really bad back that's why I bet you probably can't swing either that's why I love you back but I do a lot of different things I love sports I explain when I was younger I played baseball and football give play golf or tennis by the way down cuz he's at tennis free by the way I just started again then play tennis since I was a kid I'm actually I talk to him about that hopefully we can play some good thing about tennis those it's a lot of like going left and right left and right and putting weird strange and pressures on your knees bone mass by the way I'm not going to play competitive with him I'm going to hit with him right cuz he could probably beat me or muscle weighs about 70 pounds less than yes so we can move that spray

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Texas physical fitness very seriously and I'll tell you about it oh yeah I know he gets very serious about half-assing everything gets very serious I'm saying he's never going to commit to being like a professional tennis player but I'll get pretty serious about kind of getting in the tennis

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yeah but no I'm saying it's like a good balance he's I get obsessed about things he gets obsessed about kind of getting into things then doesn't look like it to Bob follow through you are a fucking motherfuking follow through it was a walk around here and go look at you you're a fucking specimen you bought her you're a specimen physicalness you're good man but the things looking over and going my husband's not a fat piece of shit he's a bit mother fucker and I'm going to fuck his brains out tonight not around me at least you should maybe I should start bugging the house if she died when she says when I'm not there when you're not there I bet you that's what she says to her friends

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I can't answer okay I want to pressure you I don't pressure me. That's why I can't I can't talk about that right now yeah that's probably good transitions healthy things are in flux influx Festival not bad bad there's no winning when there before I love my wife but I don't want to go home and I so there's no winning but I'm really happy cuz I'm functioning at a high level on my level I'm rising I'm rising up you don't I mean I'm facing adversity had a head-on yes but yeah my wife is a lovely woman lovely woman that's one of the things on the road when you come back oh my God yeah

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if you're there with him everyday staring at each other and me know I don't care who it is could be your best friend on the planet was somebody except for rare exceptions can be terrible terrible almost everybody you know you need to be around Variety in terms of like different. By the way I don't stay home because I'm not like staying home cuz I want to avoid experiences I like experiences and I'll go have an experience when I when I deem that experience like Jeff's party not good for me I leave but if I'm if I'm having experience it's new and I'm digging it I'll stay well you know what you like I do to help it for 6 years old man I know man I'm a man and I am a Madman

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how to grow all the time that's what that's my thing to be a wise man I Aspire my goal is to be a Wiseman and I'll never reach it not that I'd be stupid but I'm saying it's always evolving I have a friend that many many years ago was at her house and she had to sign that said Enlightenment is possible in this lifetime I saw that I want whoa well that's that's levels I know I'm putting you at a higher price than you are I agree with but true Enlightenment kind of I'm not cynical have more of a critical I know you go right that's why I've never seen it but it's like I'm not going to deem it impossible cuz then who am I saying there's no God that's like saying I'll tell you who killed Kennedy I don't know right and it's also what exactly is Enlightenment and it by whose standards definition of so maybe if you have a very low standard for enlightenment

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river that level is Hugo I did it my lifetime if you are if you're smoking Indica listen to great music and have a fantastic sex after a great meal and then someone says no no no you just supposed to meditate and just sit in a room and and then you know be mindful how about fuck you how about a big boy I can we make that happen for me that I smoke some Indica listen to music have some great sex after a great meal so if I should be done any sense to me your Jeff Garlin Tony who confident in my comedic skills but outside of that I am not lacking in confidence but leaving my house is like I said quite the what I'm saying is like by whose definition is Enlightenment cuz I say if you want to go to a concert

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where you wanted to go to a great movie person enjoy a great movie lighting to the concert I saw James Brown when he first got out of prison and I found that back that performance that was the most enlightened performance I've ever seen was this when he was in the car chase was at that prison shot at cops because I believe so yeah right is not what happened someone to cash it but maybe I don't know

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does a big fat but the thing is that he had gotten out of prison and I think maybe I remember in this incorrectly but I think someone used is toilet and then he got mad as a person and shot at something like you to shot the wall or something I don't remember talking about it so we'll find out he was in a high-speed chase they shot his tires out shot of tires. He was driving around on my rims painted man who gets that instant fucking phenomenal when is here

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I feel like that that's what started he was he fired off a gun because someone use the toilet I'm guessing you live near the border of Georgia oh okay well maybe like Georgia-Florida could be close to each other in Georgia Florida Line is it is right now wheeler Walker make fun of them

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it just says you failed a better pull over I'm pretty sure that's why they were pulling them over I think I'm using him with locate Chuck Berry was the one that was filming people going to the bathroom right I think he like to go in the bed like 2 p.m. I'm pretty sure interesting gentleman I enjoy James Brown's music I'm not thinking about discount thing about his other side you know what you say is right in a public gathering attempt to flee Prius driving under the influence of drugs okay he reportedly stormed into the insurance company next to his office waiting a shotgun in complaining that strangers we using his bathroom as time reported that's it

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Smiles years later this episode wood frame the 2014 Brown biopic okay after this cuz it was right in the late 80s early 90s how much is sober him up

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he was on PCP give him a year for each mile he drove on his rims of behavior in September pcp's a tricky one.

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I bet he did shit you go to jail for stealing a car and your fucking Sally is James Brown hey buddy we want to do you know that's something that's a hell of a story yeah help him write some songs Get on Up when he opened up for the Muhammad Ali fight with George Foreman in Zaire holy shit was incredible incredible credible he has so much power it was something about him and he would get on tickets just power Prince wished for that power Prince looked up yeah, like that was ridiculous musical Talent does Elvis have that power and he didn't use it he had it early on and then I could never danced like James Brown

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never showed a different kind of power if he just took in harness what it is

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God damn drop it down doing splits is not human and by the way he's not even really flexible enough to do a full split and yet he's still dropping down on stage she was wearing a turtleneck that night and I said don't cut that baby out a little bit let's put your initials on there I think that that was done in advance all the girls hang out with bands touring to all those people all those working pieces have to fall into place but God damn well you know Prince died of painkillers he died from fentanyl he blew his hips out dancing like that was that was the thing you know and that apparently is a very common thing my friend Maine

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Maynard Keenan from tool to essential he just recently had his hip replaced and he was doing he's he's big and loves you too and he was having a really hard time doing certain things so went to a doctor to see what's going on with his hip and they like to your habits Khan son like it's just to take unusual ones in terms of like its ability to restore you back to a fairly normal State other than typing comedian is delightful and by the way when you see someone moving around like that on stage I will bet you every penny I have they're not funny

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Kalamazoo out-of-state fees for a funny move like like I got upstairs in the in the upstairs there's a monitor on stage with a thing and I will turn to a room with a Go funny not funny because I I can watch and tell how whether the comedies coming to them whether they're pushing it and most of the move around people are pushing it but just telling does exceptions to haul stuff like all things but in this sort of way I'm done with someone just stands there and talks and then they're doing some sort of movement it's not good Jim Carrey was a purpose Ryan it's part of who he is that's not what I'm talking about I'm talking about people that just over cell shit by and see what your physical lysing what should be just

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funny the way you said not even what you're saying the way you say it Tom Segura cause of dance moves that I used to call English putting like English on a cue ball pit sausage is better so Jim Carey and Bryan Callen do not have dance move right these are funny and they also moved if there's a there's a reason for their moving but remember any time I saw someone miming having sex in a pumping air yeah I would just go not funny it was just like it was a sign of like the lift is a bit will you have to mind pumping pumping air just got to be a bit pumping air

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it's got to be a something looks like you're imitating someone having a heart attack pumping right or you know if there's if the content is about your physicality right that's not dancing right right right when you when you put like English like when you when you're doing this to accentuate what you're saying it's like screw that we don't need that well you ever go to Open Mic nights I used to do them up until recently I would just show up and say can I go up and do 10 you know and I'm always really fun was when the person who had them didn't know who I was. That's great and then I watched his other people explained that it was cool cuz I didn't have an attitude you know that and I would do my sets and the audience is open mic nights are real they're terrible their friends or they're tired or whatever for the Beaten Down by totally unfounded shit totally unfunny shit over and over and over again so yes up until about 4 or 5 years ago

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go to Open Mic Night what was fascinating about Open Mic nights is you watching people try to figure out how to be funny like you're watching people like you go to the store like tonight and you you'll go there it's going to be a packed house it's all Chris D'Elia in fucking Andrew Santino and Ali Wong's Killers you know and you're seeing high-level, NC get you into that Vibe and this is a great place to be but if you go to an open mic night you're seeing this like primordial ooze you're seeing single-celled organisms sometimes as much time as you can without people seeing you that's good to know that's good advice but you need to go on stage over and over and over again but don't go on stage at any popular places Go on stage at the suckiest cuz you only learn from when you suck that's a big part of it for sure

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I really admired Charlie Murphy Charlie Murphy was essentially a famous open my car started and never done stand-up comedy ever and then he was just a really funny actor who is the brother of one of the greatest comics of all time who got on the Chappelle show and then start doing stand-up and you know Charlie would just just fucking do it just go and do it and you know he had some rough sets to when he was famous like really thing that so you think when I did did those things that I didn't eat it plenty of times what I had was I was in control of myself yes and it didn't fall apart if you're an amateur would fall apart but it does it doesn't mean I did well but of course I never got Member One Time dice came into the store this is probably for 5 years away 5 years ago and he came up to me goes I'll go up after you

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I was respectful very nice and I said no I really want to follow you I want to see what that's like I've never followed you please go up there and go For Broke go for fucking broke out how long you know because of our I go great go up there for a half hour I got nowhere to be I'm going to watch you and I want you just to fucking hold nothing back and then I want that bathroom you know how I did fine fine because I knew how to handle myself my package journalism yes the craft of what I know one out but there's no following that with what I do which is totally different and having the audience go oh no never listen to the day the laughter died walking phenomena eating shit as I know I will never forget I was just starting out

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I think you did this look this up when that was I want to say was like 1989-1990 nose after that it was a fairly early was really early because I was very young and my career cuz I was still living in Boston and I know it might have been then because 89 yeah because I was thinking about me living here now but it was that came out the first time I lived here well I was living in Boston and I was just starting out and there was a great comedian named Mike Donovan who to this day's one of the funniest guy I've ever seen in my life and Mike Donovan was laughing to the point where I couldn't breathe at dice doing the set while he was doing fucking stadiums I mean dice was doing in normous Nassau Coliseum and he just decides to show up at Dangerfield's in New York City randomly

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knife doesn't tell anybody is going to be there I mean there's 1320 people in the crowd here Accords two different sets and he has no material I mean fucking none he's making things up as it goes along and people getting angry at him and they're walking out and he did a bit about Richard Nixon about how he eats ass and when he eats ass he doesn't like Richard Nixon feels like all of us and for whatever reason Mike Donovan thought it was the funniest thing you never seems like he was wheezing like couldn't retrieve talking about dice doing this impression and I was like wow this is like comedy for comedians but for the people that were the audience like a guy got to be the guy said that to me the best thing in the album these people from like Kansas get your about as funny as a glass of milk walking off and dice shiting on them but they have them

► 00:47:59

mindset to be at the not just the top of his game but literally the top of stand up ever no one before him had ever sold out Madison Square Garden multiple nights in a row the way he did since then you know Dan and Louie and this Bend up a bunch of guys who do lazeez but no one did it like he did then he was the first ever to do that and to do that and then to record these fucking awful sets and then put it on put it on my charity I guarantee that was Rick rubin's idea you think so but you know what time is Ruben I'll pass Rick Rubin next time I see him yeah I never asked him that but that sounds to me like Rick Rubin going let's do this interested but it was such a crazy bold move I remember thinking at the time

► 00:48:59

I was terrible 1989 when I came out I was just like confused like how does one do that like one is so confident they really something that sucks cuz I had is me and my girlfriend Marta me and Martha were sitting in my car and I had a cassette player we're listening to diced was just called Dice and crying laughing crying my face before I'd ever done stand-up and I remember thinking wow this guy is fucking something like what it was like the power that he had like on stage in the crowd was sitting in my car laughing our asses off to the seat this cassette was going to CD that couple years later he decides I'm just going to put out some that sucks

► 00:49:49

play The Comedy died today the laughter died after it got like one of them fucking paper boy hats on the cover

► 00:49:57

no it said it's a little picture of him on their small picture I think maybe it's a big picture of him oh yeah so what is small in comparison to the actual CD see if we can get Jamie let's get a framed copy of that and put it on the wall somewhere

► 00:50:21

was it released test album like around 4 years later

► 00:50:43

I've seen him do that at the store I seen him go up late night at the store I look at you look at you over there and just start talking shit to people like mean what does he wear weight lifting gloves whenever his people and big Jay oakerson and omage in a podcast with scheduling wise it never really works out I'll go to dice you might not have it for lunch it's just so Random it's like an older rich guy who does whatever the fuck he wants had coffee or lunch with him a million times I never have one of those things

► 00:51:43

his Instagram is him like what were the Gold's Gym T-shirt with Grace sunglasses so random and weird like him talking to a girl like maybe we should do something later the girls like okay like click on this play this this is like this is his whole thing

► 00:52:09


► 00:52:15

it going to be good time

► 00:52:18

can you cook dinner for me I don't know how to use the phone

► 00:52:26

when you called I'll call you

► 00:52:32

I just

► 00:52:35

so if he has a bit afterwards he goes he's got another one a follow-up we gets mad at himself for not doing anything about it but go to the next video

► 00:52:45

that's not hit is another there play this one

► 00:52:50

what a beautiful night huh

► 00:52:53


► 00:52:58

this is such a beautiful night huh that's one source comedian right up there so Random the videos I guess the text in that video is like I should have done something wrong with me yeah it's but this is him why did I leave I'm so dumb but there's some random it's like what is he doing he used to do that at the store he is to have Comics do these little sketches okay you're going to run through the the door there and you going to knock him over and he going to go what the fuck okay in the guy would do any running to the door and knock in the guy over and go what the fuck up the perfect do it again and he would just even just film this was like VHS tape you know I go old school and then he would edited together himself but he did nothing with it and this was like

► 00:53:51

Texas Giant just fucking top of the world Giant and this is what he's doing them using self reason why I started doing the road I was just do the store all the time Wisconsin to store one time when the back of your funny you should do the tolls for money because you can fucking do whatever you want to go to the road do the road cuz I was just doing TV shows and then you know what you doing TV shows you kind of Trapped in this this is how you make your living you got a kind of always be acting and always be going on additions as I can't I was cuz I wasn't making you don't make real money at the store to make it 15 bucks of said I would have been no one year I never collected a check and then they never had them again at the store I probably guessing the number of sets I did pray about $2,500 $5,000

► 00:54:51

yes. In fact. Donated any charity on behalf of the store to the charity of the store I don't care good good donation places of fascinating Place really I was gone for 7 years and I've been back for 4 and it says it is a I love the original room and cry that it's the room that's got it going where was okay and the main room are the main room performing in the main room does not bother me I hate The Green Room at the same point thing is I think there is a lot of comedians that played

► 00:55:51

that are big bowl of dead white there's a line off at my fellow comedians but on the flip side some people just man they're there their presents just depresses me I don't feel that maybe you do an impression of this my Matt mind like mine with me always. Because you know the thing when I started comedy which is 82 working through comedians really were a group that stuck together having for the past I think it started changing in late 90s 2000 to where it was every man for himself and a lot of people it wasn't like your part

► 00:56:51

this fraternity it was like fuck you I'm going to do this you know my thing with competition is fishing in your audition go beat me in the room I don't give a crap but there is such a competitiveness and I know that's part of why Eddie doesn't do spots because Eddie Murphy Eddie Murphy because when I work with him I would say why don't you go we did say that the looks that I get in the vibe that I get from Comics it's not pleasant and I go I know exactly what he was talking about some weird I have the exact opposite feeling about comedy now and about is particularly like the store robbery of that place I don't I don't get a lot of people there but the people who I dig know I did them and I don't know anything it's not like I spend time.

► 00:57:51

cancel plenty of them that like please step away I was having a conversation about this with a friend of mine recently it was living for a while and Play City and he was saying that if you are in a place where everyone's negative you really can't forget the people can be positive so why should I leave The Comedy Store and at least half of the times I play they're leaving their driving I'm feeling like not positive where where is by the way I sometimes now or range at the only set that I do at the comedy store now is I sometimes will close the seven o clock original room show cuz there's no one after me so if I'm 5 minutes long no one's giving you crap right and they've already seen the whole show there's no it just and I can do that zip and do it and get the hell out I'll do a benefit in the in the main rumor like I did watch a comedy show

► 00:58:51

free money to bring you into the fold of the nice people bring into the fold I don't like how good I don't like a hold of her now however is dumped over and that is when you're having a good conversation is not about making people laugh your political sociable how you do your comedy but if your ultimate goal isn't to bring joy into people's lives what's the purpose if it's not about the laughs and joy and so I find here's the thing I don't dig lot of ego running around the store when I'm there and most the people I don't like have the biggest egos do you think the most, are you because you're very accomplished guy so maybe that's why you getting that weird vibe check I've been told that before but if I thought that that would be weird so I don't

► 00:59:51

maybe it's cuz you know you're right by like I'm not I'm not an alcoholic but I do know this line from the program which is what you think of me is none of my business which I love that's a great perspective right perspective so what they think of me is none of my business I just know what they're putting out there that's all I think sometimes people will look at you and go well here's a guy's been in some of the all-time greatest television shows ever you know your your guy that's got a massive like your your your resume your accomplishments as a, can perform very enviable so maybe perhaps a see-through like the like this guy self is a generous guy on every level I like being generous and I like helping Comics you know sticking my hand out doing what I can to help so I don't feel that I put anything that they should be fearful of out now but I think it's their own issue I mean I remember when I

► 01:00:51

yes when I was starting out I would get real uncomfortable when I was around really famous people would be like wow this is feels weird to be around the sky in real life you know it's been very very friendly that's what I want to do I like to be a warm bubble person who would most the time for first if I'm going to go to The Comedy Store I'm prepared to talk to people take pictures of people be warm to people engage with people because if I don't want that I stay home right and so if I'm a negative bad mood I really will go do my settings and out but that doesn't happen very often but I'll stay home charge got to be able to recharge I used to not allow myself that I used to be work so hard yesterday about Tom Cruise about Tom Cruise's life being very strange Jesus Christ

► 01:01:51

Jeff Garlin what is going on with your phone what is that what is that theme to a man and a woman how do you know what a man and a woman is a French movie She's a butthole. Jeffrey Dahmer buried I'm in the middle of the show I'll just looking to go when I'm done I tell the audience that I'm in a very accomplished at French gibberish which is what it is but yeah it's a great song so do you have custom ringtones for when different people call you out I just have that

► 01:02:51

one is off which is off now last thing I was listening to his Buddy Guy it was a lie just put up a new album and it's a bad ass is about relevancy how are you contributing like George Carlin know what are the George Carlin was 75 relevancy to contribute to my art to everything so I'll never be like you know if someone says who's that old dude I'm not doing anything based on what I'm aspiring to do that's their issue and now because I will be to my best ability relevant that's an interesting perspective

► 01:03:51

it's like like rockstars and protected like no one looks at Mick Jagger and go why is that guy still doing it cuz when you watch him he still alive is ridiculous no kidding around like at the oldest 39 something still shoot loads in the hot models he had a baby recently so I'll give it back to you I put my apologies Bruce Springsteen's another one Springsteen's in his 60s by the way I saw that I saw that show and I my job was on the floor I could not believe this was Broadway show it was one of the greatest things about tomorrow

► 01:04:44

Jesus Christ and he works out I believe twice a day everyday cuz it really does yoga any trains with weights and see if you can find Mick Jagger shirtless yeah but I mean like recent go to tools to the right

► 01:05:07

and and then go to your time there we go

► 01:05:18

see if you can find a recent one there's a lot of pictures of him was closed off Jesus Christ make a fucking shirt on huh hot model

► 01:05:27

he's an interesting man that's why I said there's always exceptions far right when he got there as I am but that's a model that's not Mick Jagger son of a bitch at 10:40 with the beard I know that for sure so that's the oldest one I seen okay well either way the guy know it's crazy it's amazing voice as not I think it's still amazing and the way he moves it's so beautiful there's a lot of yoga I'm pretty sure his workout Mick Jagger's work out cuz he's incredibly disappointed parently and then look up Barnaby Jones ring Union

► 01:06:11

look at them look at that right there takes up yogurt 73 there you go work for not enough level that's just ridiculous I was just in Thailand and when you go to the bathroom right by the toilet they literally have one of those garden hoses that you would wash car with play with bidets for those peppers are you eating at Thai food I just kind of splatter that you're creating that like let's just let's be honest toilet paper is not good enough you going to need a hose down so there's a guy waiting outside the bathroom to explain that to you

► 01:07:04

yours walk out of here he says you you're probably a little confused but turn the papers explain it or not I put up on my Instagram today about a sign that I saw that said please don't pee on the floor and I'm like how many people have pee on the floor before you put a sign up that says please don't pee on the floor and by the way of your purse on the floor are you really going to go I was going to but now I'm not I'm stopping the floor please don't rape the truth is about floor Ping P ends up on the floor sound does a sub for dudes that's very honest that I read that I said because of smartphones much more than I would like to admit that's a fact we didn't episode about that on Curb Your Enthusiasm can you sit down

► 01:08:04

no I can't I look at people with their phones that's a whole thing but I promise as a tool no I do not but as a avoiding being in the present I do yeah they're addictive they're addictive addictive by the way I got to be honest I don't remember the last show where somebody didn't pull out their phone when someone is even if it's one person I can't even remember somebody not doing that and that's that's so disrespectful things I did before my last filmed in April was I went on tour for 3 months where you had to use those cell phone backs in the ass by the way

► 01:08:50

how do I play a lot at Largo and I would just make an announcement and then if someone does you could come out I mean some people just feel like answer this text but I just got to do this but I'm a big fan of a picture is my responses I'll see you later miss you but what are going to say is that it's a big pain in the ass those Yonder back but the show was like 10% better because no one had the phone and you just sit there and you would actually be connected to the show the people at work forgot to text, what's a character's name I don't have one but everything for the hug I got a call coming in to the phone is your favorite

► 01:09:48

one of the reasons why I did that because cuz Chappelle was telling me how much she enjoys it and Hannibal Hannibal Buress to tell me how much he enjoyed using those bags too but another reason was this woman complained that when she went to my new year show that some girl behind her made two separate phone calls with saying Happy New Year to people during the show during the show just like this stupid fucking bitch was making phone calls while the show is going on in front of it next to that person live performance in your calling people and talking them out or even answering the phone and talking on the phone you have signs with a Stern language saying you'll be honest with you I really respect my audience and I really think that that would eliminate the handful of people that would be douchey Largo a lot and it Largo

► 01:10:48

make the announcement and I have I have never seen anyone during my shelf how to spell emotional but you can create an exceptional by respecting that I certainly agree or not but I don't really drink alcohol so but so but like if I go to the bar and Order drink the guys going to look for my stamp fuck all that I got every aspect and they have the sink I don't mind the sinks where it senses your hand even though it doesn't do those, those ones when you push down and they got 10 seconds that's so disrespectful it's wrong wrong wrong wrong to mankind

► 01:11:48

gives you a tiny little strip of paper will stingy ass piece of paper to dry your hand will give me a real fucking piece of paper good I'd take him fishing article that I tweeted about those things like shit dust in the air people at Olive Garden, so you're a sick people take a dump wash their ass white and then is with that when you hit that dryer dust from that the wind speed listen man I did no research I just posted an article that I read it said that those things are straightened and then somebody if Joe posted it must be true cuz he did his research

► 01:12:48

Katie Wright the kid just got you some bullshit some bullshit some guy named Bob was sucking fecal bacteria and blow it all over your hand study fonsi so enjoy it so I will not be using that anymore I wouldn't use the blow dryer and when I touch the thing to have the towel come down I know that that's very clean yes no no no that's not good at least it's not blowing this way there's no winning in public there's no issue of OCD person whose fucking completely crazy squirts perel all over the body everywhere the goats are afraid of everything they touch and then they don't build up immunity I have a giant issue with that

► 01:13:48

Tri-County people in any auditions won't Shake an actor's hand because they've got an app that's not well you don't even bring Knuckles anymore he was banging knuckles for a while he was Knuckles anymore he's gotten worse that's his business he's a good man he's a very good man I really like that guy a lot and I want to fucking give me a hug give me a kiss right now cuz I think it's insane not going to happen why not you can work with him on it doesn't make any sense to want to change Joe have to walk your own psychiatrist don't want to change your not going to change and that's with addiction with anything if you don't want to do it nobody by the way when it comes to addiction or behavior like Howie's

► 01:14:46

logic does not enter through your logical cases to all those different types of people doesn't matter they got to wanna he go so far as he puts down a trail of paper towels in his hotel room so you never has to stay on the carpet I did not know this I don't want to know this I don't want to be happy and hotels steps on that paper towel you know what special I loved as a kid but Howie from Maui I laughed really hard at that special it's because he's very funny that he self-critical every funny person I've ever known thinks there's still axe Sox last response is just thank you come up to me and you're my favorite character on Curb Your Enthusiasm what I can really do is look them in the angle really Larry David

► 01:15:46

I think you're wrong by the way everything when somebody says that to me I can tell that they mean it but all of them wouldn't know the difference cuz I think say thank you to all of them no one needs to hear that shit people do say stupid shit that they don't really mean just cuz they want you to respond to them to tell you you're the best I learned that when I was at a family can clear to me I found myself waiting at valet parking with Tony Danza been looking each other or we had an awkward moment I really wanted to say hello and not cuz I'm a big tuck Tony Danza fan or and reason it was just the fame Factor wanted me to talk to Tony Danza horse right and so I thought this is fucked up shut up I didn't say anything he seems very approachable

► 01:16:46

I always wished that I was as nice as Tony Danza cuz when I see Tony Danza on Taxi as you got into Show Business you found out he was a prick truth is I've never heard I've never had a bad thing ever satisfied it was a fist fight with him at The Comedy Store one night time ago I want to say like this before my time and I started their 94 so someone said something stupid him somewhere back in the day and Tony Danza was a professional boxer actually took a prophyte in between tapings driver when he was first season in between first and second season he was off for a few months is like fuck I'll have a fight when is it what am I doing now

► 01:17:39

but something got mouthy with them you know what would want to see someone like that whoever approached yeah if it was you you lose but that's not very nice person you lose not see any bad word that's the other reaction right like there's some people that would come up to Jeff Carlin to three years but you really continuing the character what's wishes he was no but but I just avoid you know I don't get into it you know what you think of me is none of my business that includes famous people come up and say things thank you that's the right thing to say

► 01:18:39

do you want to say to them sometimes and you know this one I could you move along because I just thought of me because he told me how much I meant to him and then he didn't leave and then he was telling me personal things about him that were not but I'm going to repeat them because I don't want to you know that a brother to tell me things like you're really a scary individual and I want I never have said the words move along but I actually moved along into an area he couldn't enter where was buying the Rope you know by the cars or in the bar you know that something to get away and he still tried you know it was scary people get crazy in the middle of a conversation with someone know that they're telling you something like really intimate and someone to go over there

► 01:19:31

Tony just tell me suicidal ball the wrong because really just be respectful and kind anyone comes out to me as respectful and kind I'm trying to anyone come with me is an asshole I'm trying to just don't know what to do if there's that but there's also have a couple of drinks and you don't know what to say drunk too much but telling them that they're drunk that's good to have saying hey man you drunk yeah there's no other go to in that situation I guess so because whatever it does it really plows into your ego and so I just make the quick

► 01:20:31

disconnection and get blood out it's a good move I'm appreciative and I treat them the way if someone I dug Russian comedian if I told him I dug them I treat the people the way and the more the warmer and the more interesting the person is the more I give them of myself how does Larry David handle it you know you know Seinfeld but that still wasn't the same that he has now so I saw him through Curb Your Enthusiasm he's had trouble figuring out how to people want to take a picture people that you know how do I do it and it's always changing he's never an asshole it's true

► 01:21:31

all-time a hundred percent I have to say the new season we're about to film in October the storyline maybe my favorite and its really subtle and fun it's like one of those things like it's like I think people watching it will feel that they're living a fantasy and after the first one airs I'm happy to come back and talk about it and I mean does that premise of where we're going is delightful I love how HBO gives him sort of carte blanche they like we don't take a couple years off do whatever the fuck you want like yeah take some pretty great about the money it's about can I do another good show that makes us different than most shows in history and he only wants to do good work and enjoy himself otherwise there's no reason yeah and HBO is smart that way

► 01:22:31

Throne of War how to let a show a show from what I understand they give a lot of notes on their pilots but once you become a series that kind of leave you alone that's amazing you know where as when you're doing in that work shower from other paid sources I've heard that the notes never stopped when I was on the radio is the easiest thing to room without gelatin survive notes

► 01:23:00

comedy cannot because it's like the comedies like you know that the dominoes and if you take one of those and just move it a little to the left of the right you're screwing up the whole thing that's very good point when I was on news radio we weren't successful and that is when you get to notes we were so my friend Lou Morton who was one of the writers he would wear a shirt every Monday after the ratings were coming with a number on it would take a white T-shirt and write it and one day came in the number 688 I go fuck dude really goes yeah I was like Goddamn money is cancelled but the point being is that we would never hit so we always got notes or constantly getting no it's like we need a gay neighbor we need a black guy we need we need

► 01:24:00

that would be love interest in the black guy name of the show that's probably good name of sitcoms and I don't want to name names but I watch them and I know they're very very very successful and I watch them and I'm stunned I don't understand it it's like they're speaking a different language I don't get it either I don't I don't but I don't watch Comedy man I said what's Middle America I think there's there's something going on with tired people get home from work until that

► 01:24:39

audiences now

► 01:24:41

respond to what they think it's supposed to be funny like real comedy fans Doug news radio

► 01:24:49

like people Doug comedy I think Doug news radio people did comedy did curb do we have other kind of fans to yes but I find that comedy fans really dude yet, but everybody likes to say they like comedy or they watch Comedy and they made out of any sense of humor and this one was like the specific and I don't care if I'm slamming it it was the something in the girl in the apartment B or to the beach and something be but I watch the show and The rhythms were this is what comedy is it wasn't funny it didn't have a natural vibe to it and have no reason for me to keep watching it but it was done in a style that other shows have done since we're this is how, he's done this is the way we spent a line or do a situation and I don't

► 01:25:49

why but it always involves a lot of that that putting the the the spin on the ball or what is a dancing in English because you if you watch a lot of Nickelodeon shows are Disney shows they tend to do that they put the spin on it it's never funny enough just to have something about comedy TV comedy I think for the most part you're supposed to be enthralled with the situation by situation so the situation Lucy got into a situation and you allowed to Lucy dealing with the situation I really I bet in the entire time Lucy ran on the rent on the earth that there might have been 12 great jokes that she said in the situation you're laughing and how she deals with the situation and you look at any great comedy and that's where it's Larry David dealing with a situation yes it's it's

► 01:26:49

so and by the way what thing Larry and I are very proud about with Curb Your Enthusiasm if one of us says something funny to the other one cuz we improvised we laugh so these shows you say these lines written by writers and then the audience laughs if it's on stage but yet the actors don't laugh it's just not right and there are shows now that I've watched 4 maybe 5 minutes where I cannot believe how they're out terrible they are and yet they're successful don't get it when you guys do a show you don't really have like a full script in terms of Weights are written the story that story maybe a half-dozen things are like he says this or she says that you have to move the store really it's for story

► 01:27:49

I meant I play it every time differently unless I'm told by the director or I'm one of The Producers we have a meeting of like we need to get this across does not come across and I'll make an adjustment Ryan but in general I try and do it different every single thing is so crazy and how many takes we do well with Larry and I just us he and I are on the scene to have a scene done in less than an hour but if there's a bunch of other people could be 3 hours wow and the idea is just like this is what needs to take place we can't we have to figure out how to write across the fact that the refrigerator is broken and we're going to have to go buy ice and who's going to buy the eyes I don't wanna drive to buy the ice then you all just talking it's more than that the story is really that but yes how we approach it and sometimes that can change that that's one of the reasons why the show is so good because it seems to organic when you guys are talking it is well that's what would I get out of we don't rehearse

► 01:28:47

that's amazing to her so the Goldbergs we don't even do a lot of rehearsing but I have to stick to the script if I want to improvise on the Goldbergs I have to let producers know what not to get permission to let him know this take I'm going to do something different and I have to let my fellow actors know that since you have to go to different styles I don't know that it's difficult but I find the Curb Your Enthusiasm way way more enjoyable, I'm sure but I'm really proud The Goldbergs is the number one show on TV that families watch together so I'm very proud of that and I get why people. It's not my style but when I watch it occasionally I don't watch it very often I get why people dig it I'm not confused by the show you know what I mean like these other shows were talking about I'll be confused as to why they're successful why they're on the other ones I watch

► 01:29:47

I get why people dig it it makes total sense in me you know so it's it's much more enjoyable during the year and all that but I still dig the golfers and I also dig the crew and I dig the people I work with and I did the writer so it's a very positive wonderful experience I'm lucky I'm on one of the most popular Network comedies and I'm on the most popular alternative comedy be so lucky. I'm grateful because grateful because I do have something to do with it but not from an ego stand Point I've worked hard I've done this I've done that incredibly grateful you're lucky to I think I'm lucky I told you I'm not kidding that dude is taught me so much that might be the only thing I disagree with him on he doesn't know

► 01:30:47

no luck is good the Rodger Daltrey always said be lucky and it's no matter how much you have to do with this true that if you look at it that you're lucky you're not being humble is a big ball born in Ethiopia you could have been born in the middle of nowhere yeah I know you can't you just got to recognize it when he had sup recognize it and keep it under control what to say I'm thinking about it what am I saying yes to the sound of an eagle move you know the one of the main reasons why I exercise so much just to try to keep my body

► 01:31:47

balance and internet in terms of like the way it looks but that's what is too I definitely like looking good but it's also it's more of a respecting yourself that's what that's a self respect thing to me that but I think most people generally love they use feel your best when you're exercising that is amazing that is awesome I wish I could have that for a week to let me borrow it for a week just rather nap then do anything I don't mind mapping stand up I'd like over napping sex over napping sometimes eating not as much anymore

► 01:32:47

it's not a big thing for me too much so I sex and and and and and spend time with my boys that that takes precedence over madly in love with them and so that takes precedence I'd rather be with them then nap yeah by the way they were taking a nap with them I was in heaven cuz I think I'll enjoy it and maybe late laying against me Goodnight Nurse that's the pleasure of having children I don't like to having these people that you love more than you could ever have imagined loving someone more than by the way that's thing like when they're about to have a kid I don't say to them because you can't explain it it's truly a thing that you can't explain and you only sound like an idiot when you try going where is what it is no you can't tell me and now you're new to me and it's so big

► 01:33:47

much bigger than I ever could have imagined it's a different thing than you could ever imagine like you become a different person to this like a litter that there's an actual switch that seems to go off and the change of course you say something cuz you know people and I know people wear for whatever reason that's which doesn't go off at me still stay the most important person in their own lives it's when it's weird and it throws me and that somebody I do not want to be friends with now it's so people that are bad parents that don't like their kids it's very unfortunate thing it's a big but it's sucking it's so sad I think there's certain either has to be levels of sociopaths right is levels of it there is about that topic I must be people sociopathic Behavior yes just go

► 01:34:47

do a joke about it that the problem with actors is that they have this big hole in their soul that they need to fill up with other people's attention and I would say not me I'm Different that's how I'm up here with a microphone and a different then then for the most part then actors as a rock art form shoes me a little pick up something something happens the only art form and I know plenty of really intelligent actors but I know some that are so talented and if I could never have a conversation with him I'd be thrilled that would be amazing because there is just so dumb yeah but when the time comes and they said they can become that person they can they can fall into that role in there's something wrong with them but they could do it like Wayne Federman has a bit about it you know about unless you were just mentioning I love him so much

► 01:35:47

should I get so funny he's a rock man South Florida and we're from the same little town in Florida called Plantation Florida outside of Fort Lauderdale we did a pilot together 20 years ago 1998 I think it was right that he was doing on stage wants about actors in I grabbed most I got to go dude you put it you said it like the way you said it you said it the right cuz like also he's free cuz you know he just he doesn't have notorieties not worried about running into these people that he talked shit about on stage so you can be free and he was like he was like it's not normal to be able to cry on cue he's like yes you can cry on cue yet cuz you're fucking broken is something wrong with you

► 01:36:47

by the way that's another change in the world of stand up the number of people who sue and then started from the comedy boom when people were getting sick comes after saw this and they went oh if I do stand up I'll be discovered yes and so that's brought a lot of people that aren't truly comedians to Comedy which there was a dude who was actually funny and it was actually good and he said if I don't have a sick, I'm quitting at my next year and he didn't and he quit I don't remember his name but otherwise I'd tell you off there I'll talk to you about this but the point is that if you're really a comedian it is so part of your DNA it is so part of who it's not who I am no comedians

► 01:37:47

of who we are on a deep deep level the passion and caring The Comedians truly have for comedy and that's why I look at other comedians as my brothers and sisters so if you're dealing with your an actor you're trying to get famous if you give him at the competition and I got no part of you when you look at me and you go Jeff Garlin has no choice but to be a comedian then you're thinking on the same wavelength as me cuz I have no choice I have to be a comedian yes some people get very very resentful of those actors like I remember some famous actors trying stand-up you know and nothing wrong with trying in the 80s like what's your what's your name but she was Sean Young and I remember she was so I was like

► 01:38:47

when they're done to help her everyone bent over backwards but you wasn't sincere and she did it for 5 minutes but they like being around a famous woman is beautiful yeah you know but the point being is that I forgot about I didn't want to do whatever they want but do me a favor if you're going down that path don't screw me with your negative shit she said an interesting case whole article about her and fame and her struggles with it and you know you have people forget she was in the original Blade Runner she was a phenomenal actress so beautiful stunning stunning yes so good too I mean just so it was a very intelligent woman and there were flaws in her life and flaws and being an actress and flood in the public eye is not especially now with social media is the opposite of a walk in the park you are not entitled to any privacy I am not entitled to any alone moment

► 01:39:47

walk in the park I'm not and that saves me to look at it that way yeah that I'm not entitled to it friend because if I want to be alone I'm alone in my living room in my backyard and look up at the trees and the breeze man I can't see the freezer I can feel the breeze but the point being is there in the world of any privacy for you in the public eye gone yeah you know when I'm at like a restaurant or the airport in the TMZ people come with the microphone I don't say a word while I help them sell that crap and then they turn off the mic and I know this at this point now friendly how you guys doing what's going on and I know some of them but I don't have the right to walk through the airport without them in my face that's part of the thing the only don't demand ever get out of those is he say something stupid people get mad at you like Anthony Bourdain you get out of that is saying something stupid and people get mad at you there's no winning

► 01:40:47

say something to TMZ and people going to watch and go that was so damn inside of the possible it's certainly possible you can but separately TMZ yeah but Bourdain got a shitload of death threats when he was at the airport and they said if you were going to cook dinner for Trump and Kim Jeong Hoon would you sure what he said Hemlock and I'm just a joke he's a funny guy said something funny and there's no winning the party if someone's offended then their tool right Republicans and they will laugh but you're putting yourself in the whole world that's right so I don't say anything you know you can ask me comments about things that go on in the world and I know I'll have us an answer that will not get me in trouble

► 01:41:47

that's the case today with comedy writing so you're opening yourself up to the world you're not just opening yourself up by people but when I went on stage was ever and fear of going down a path where I would say something that was wildly inappropriate not appropriate for the standpoint of taking the risk but just cuz my sense of humor doesn't go to use certain words like I don't use that were not cuz I'm scared of anything but so people do that and do that is like Michael Richard had a perfect example and I think he went up to weird crowd have no idea that is life was over as he knew it where did because by the way

► 01:42:41

I never been Furious because certain people that came down to the on the news like the next day or two more people who I had heard say worse things in there stand up and they were talking shit that were talking stuff it's like when someone swimming in a river of shit you don't throw shit on them I agree let me have but I'm not going to throw a smoke bush it how I felt with Roseanne you know when this Rose Anthony went down to say anything else except she really needs some sort of help and support not like oh she's a Nazi right she needs help she have a Twitter account because I also know just like TMZ how long till I say something to piss somebody off right but there are people and I'm not saying their names I don't want to get into it thing will come out

► 01:43:41

gentleman that's not the way to behave

► 01:43:51

a successful accomplish black woman something bad is bad you don't need my comment all these people on Twitter think their comments necessary I want me to head into this part of this dialogue well it's virtue signal you know it's letting everybody know that I'm on the right beside I'm on the right side it's a bunch of crap that I am making the right choice I want people to assume cuz they're not going to hear what my choice is it was a journalist who is angry and he was saying that the lack of blow back from other comedians about Louis CK that they weren't screaming and how horrible this is speaks volumes as long as I don't know what you're talking about doesn't know what he's talking about that by the way she would disrespect a woman to Man by knowledge Never Should I want to be sexually forward in a room at Morgan unappropriate way

► 01:44:49

you don't know this is wrong but I'm telling you this is today's meeting that he did it right. The whole thing was crazy like this guy was accusing all these other communities of being pieces of shit because they are not wrong they're not adamantly you don't need my opinion. Assumption of something I do not need to throw shit never ever it's like what are your requirements as a person when something happens if there's a mass shooting do I need to stand up and say that that was a bad thing it's obvious that was a bad thing I need to comment on everything that happened and if that's the case look what I can do to help just commenting what does nothing nothing nothing you're letting us know that's why I'm saying these certain individuals and I'm thinking of two in particular who I know and like both of them

► 01:45:49

three of them actually when I don't know as well but I'll tell you after work okay always in these situations say the obvious and I get furious freydell friend of mine and it's just a comment every time and it's like yeah I have a friend that does the same thing accomplished and up and it's always how do I wear this without giving the Skyway it's always about anything that has anything to do with women I like he's always standing up for women but meanwhile I know this guy in hell right now he lives in hell because marriage is literally hides like he's he's in Hell he's in hell is wife's a monster it's amazing it's amazing the amazing though it's almost like he's like a hold on it when I divorce comes like at least he let us have a rash on his right or six

► 01:46:49

however every conversations with my friends drinking coffee hanging out sometimes I even talk too loud in the coffee shop by the way here's another one you know the worst possible things you could ever hear comedians at a funeral so sure the comedian dies what comedians are saying to one another because it is stuff that would be forgiven but it's just the way we deal with grief in those situations it's also the inappropriate thing is very funny to someone like you or I like I was sitting right next to Dave Foley and we went to the Emmys and Phil Hartman it just been murdered and he was nominated for an Emmy lost this guy from Frasier and Dave looks over Migos the fuck's have to do to win

► 01:47:39

and where were like crying sad drinking we're just so bummed out of his death he says that's really funny in the moment was just about we say the most inappropriate things in tragic moments but I'm not going to. Anytime I've ever tried something sort of inside with someone not on the inside and terms of Comedy it has been a disaster disaster every time how about you are like with at a party or something or where kids parents the

► 01:48:30

the biggest fights of my wife I look back over the years are when we either went to the principal we went to have the meeting we went to the open house something I said I never I never left their unscathed one that you couldn't get that mad at me for was I convinced our tour of a school that the building was haunted that was the only person that was kind of funny everybody out including the school officials so inappropriate your inappropriate Jeff Garlin you have to do but but it's sort of out we get through life we meaning Europeans and the thing is we're wired alike we are we share I'm going to say DNA yes but we share something where a brother and sister at work together so I remember coming off stage this is like a classic one coming up

► 01:49:30

Collins on stage, and he's fucking idiot and I'm picking this crowd sucks fuck them but I'm going to go do my best at the benefit some guy comes up to me and he says I can't wait to go up I got thanks cuz this guy I can I go just know you're talking about my brother my brother is standing up there doing that that you're not complimenting me if you're fucking with my brother that's what I told him because it's the truth right we are together we experienced some but that's why I'm saying there's a uniqueness of a specialist and not everybody is part of that everybody is an actor trying not mean a lot to her after I love you or any cuz their ego they're singing voice maybe wasn't good enough and by the way the people that I have problems with almost never are true comedians

► 01:50:23

yeah it's about the brother you don't like like really when we're together you know it's almost never it's always Eagle people and it's always people that are doing it for the wrong reasons and by the way it's not me sitting in judgment it's me getting what they give me and by the way I don't have conflicts with them I let him you know that's on the other in a long time ago that's it go to put my shit on that bright right but I drive home feeling sad that's why I learn to not have complex doesn't get anywhere it's like the same thing is like when something happens and you complain about it on Twitter that I am not sure let's talk about who got on the airplane with a guy who is being sent to Afghanistan I did read that this morning I have never been more when he gets back

► 01:51:23

he's going to be murdered this guy that was her at what is the stuff cuz I only read the headline of it I didn't read the whole story is an activist activist but I don't know what you've done in the past all I know is she refused to sit down and at a certain point there was a soccer team on the flight stuff with their other people who said we back you but you're also a lot of pieces of shit you're making us late so one's going to come look at yourself on the line and then she was a she and the guy who is being deported we're finally escorted off the plane because she did a research and a research told her that the captain can have them both taken off the plane and take off anytime so the the story was that he was being deported because of ice is that what it was but he

► 01:52:23

they were deported him and then he was going to where you going to be

► 01:52:29

weather going to wear time when it comes to this one out there was a story I was reading about some woman who was devastated because her her daughter-in-law was being deported and she's a trump supporter and her daughter-in-law's means you've been in the United States her whole life and being deported and you know just couldn't couldn't believe it could we know what came over here is an infant that kind of thing when you are an illegal alien that no one gives a fuck of you been here for 30 years you want me to lie for 32 and I'll get it did you get sent back and that's that's a disgrace really is a disgrace and so I wouldn't shut down

► 01:53:29

but that's more than just her putting on her Twitter account this is not right but I'm actually doing something it's hard to injure somebody else and inconveniences people but nothing more than that what if you had a layover though in a big gig but if I don't know I don't care so many Netflix special no special next next spring I so when you do that because I'm going to do a Netflix special so a year from now essentially somewhere in the range for the way out in the summer so when will you change your approach will you have an outline like you do on kerbin like roughly know what you going to talk about I have stories and things I've been telling on stage that be coming out of me so I will tell all those but different location

► 01:54:29

here in LA and three different shows so you going to film it here and fill me in here three shows I'm not doing a big theater I mean that doesn't help me for a special. Just a typical come out to the big Applause do my deck tonight everybody know I'm going to actually Tom Papa's going to actually direct this was his idea is going to follow me around during the day and then how am I day comes into my show that night beautiful between three shows I should get enough and you know hopefully it'll be an interesting thing that's what I aspire to do make something worthwhile and interesting as opposed to filling my ego I don't care my friend I am honored it's too long and coming and that I'm thrilled to have been here people ask me I'm like you know I don't really know Joe the first chance I get which was the other

► 01:55:29

I saw you where was like hey can I do the thing I really want to and you're like yeah you know was it was so simple but people have said to me all the time go on the show and I'm like yeah being busy like yourself it's not like that opportunity I have a list call Joe you know if it works it was an honor this was great I enjoyed it thank you thank you

► 01:56:02

Jeff Garlin ladies and gentleman all right love that dude thank you thank you for the cash app download it for free for the App Store or the Google Play Store use the reward code Joe Rogan and you will receive $5 and the cash app will send $5 to Justin wrens fight for the Forgotten charity thank you also to stamps.com go to stamps.com click on the microphone at the top of the homepage and type in JRE and they will hook you up with a 4 week trial plus Postage and a digital scale that's stamps.com and a j a r e and last but not least thank you

► 01:56:44

the motherfukin Squarespace Squarespace lazy, do you need a website I know you do bitch stop procrastinating make it yourself you can do it and you can try for free go to squarespace.com go for a free trial and then when you're ready to launch use the offer code Joe to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain Joe Rogan. Com is a Squarespace site Duncan Trussell. Com is a Squarespace sites Doug Stanhope. Com and more and more more than awesome platform thank you love you appreciate you bye bye