#1155 - Henry Rollins

August 9, 2018

Henry Rollins is a musician, actor, writer, television and radio host. He has a special debuting on Showtime called "Keep Talking, Pal" on August 10.

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ladies and gentlemen how the fuck are you oh shit I got to plug in my laptop I'll do it while I'm talking to you I can multitask like a motherfuker speaking of multitasking I will be both performing this weekend in Kansas City and dodging the Westboro Baptist Church

coming out to me Sam Center the people who their website is godhatesfags.com

and these silly bitches coming after me

Islamic Center is that a sin say God hates fags medicine seems like it's some terrible thing even a call him that anyway me and the Great and Powerful Andrew Santino AKA The Ginger assassin we're going to be in Kansas City on Friday night and St Louis on Saturday St Louis is sold out there's some tickets available for Friday night I do not know how many so don't sleep Kansas City I haven't been there in forever I think it's been about 10 years

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go there check that shit out alright I guess today is the Great and Powerful Henry Rollins Henry Rollins is a musician and I guess he's kind of a former musician now he occasionally acts he's an author he does spoken word performances and he has a Showtime special out Friday August 10th called keep talking pal it's always a pleasure to talk to him I'm huge fan of him as a person and I just really enjoy sitting down and getting here as. So please give it up for Henry Rollins

The Joe Rogan Experience

how are you fella I'm better now being here with you I'm better now that you're here we were just talking about a show that you got you and Ted Nugent apparently someone someone to do pitcher who pitched the show it was an idea that my manager Heidi and I came up with Will mostly Heidi is like it was called basically Henry and you put me and someone I might have some disagreements with or a few agreements with and we just go somewhere and we weigh in with a camera following us and we're thinking what it would be like a six-part miniseries likely me and plus six interesting people and one of the things that came up was Ted Nugent because I am a fan of his music I think one of the best guitar players I've ever seen yet he and I would probably disagree on one or a few topics and so we actually picks pitched it to Ted who said you love the idea but he said I got to go

I'm busy with a ton of tour dates I think he's on now but he said I want to talk to Henry to thank him for thinking of me okay and so Ted called like on my phone in the office I guess he got my number from the powers-that-be and suddenly it's it's Ted on my phone I'm at my desk like okay this is surreal and we talked for a few minutes and he said

you like what you think I'm a bad guy and let him know just some of the things you say I just takes my breath away and then we got on the topic of music you said you like all that old Detroit music I go yeah man I mean Mitch Ryder the Stooges MC5 I mean it's kind of the best is some of the best music I've ever heard I mean as far as I ask Michael what is his Something In The Water what is it with you Michigan guys and guitar tone like no one gets tone like you run Ashton Stooges Fred Sonic Smith MC5 I be you guys I mean you're so good and he said you got it we got to hang out sometime and we'll just talk about music, I'll do that with you so I'll be taking notes and he was telling me you know what ya used to hang out at the MC5 house and go see the Stooges and what you're killing me cuz this is like you die that would have been heaven for me to see those bands like back in 19

69 or whatever did you win did you know him did you know him back in the day originally expected as a punter I would go see him like in high school in the 1870s deal Carter Administration I go see him play in my local arena in Washington DC in the place called the capital Center in Largo Maryland and he was as good as rock and roll cats I mean it was I saw the the double live Gonzo lineup I like forget it was like two and a half hours of just getting beat up by music it was fantastic and to this day it's still a high water mark As far as gigs in the 90s I met him on Politically Incorrect Bill Maher and I said hey man I'm a big fan and he gave me a bow hunting catalog Mike will feel for his whackmaster you get the croquet Mallet in the end they both anyway I kept it until my fan

met him years later and I do this radio Charles St Patrick's Day 1997 to kressley promote my next record and I said we met years ago and we got to talk a couple of hours and we was just about music and I played him some of my new record what you really liked and he between the commercial breaks he was like playing riffs for me we had a little headphone app and he's sitting across from you on a stool play it I like this is pretty cool and so that's the kind of relationship I have with him right yeah you read some of the things he says you like okay that's really hard to take

and put those records or they're just so good to me and I saw him play in 2000 opening for kiss 2001 somewhere in there and he was great great the tone the playing Just fantastic and so he's just an interesting bunch of guys if he can he's not he's not he's not stupid he's hilarious he has a steel-trap memory but then he'll just say that you don't Obama is a subhuman mongrel like me and you don't need to talk like that because there's people you will inspire to punch some black guy in the parking lot for no reason like something bad could happen if you talk like that to the millions of people who love you like someone will get that message and we'll go south with it in that position I don't believe in self-censorship but I think you should be careful of what you say I think there's some are in

having some control of yourself and so I don't completely understand that guy this currency and outrageousness that's what it is neat you cash in by being the guy that says things you can't I can't believe what he just said and then you become the guy that goes places that says things that no one can believe that you're saying you know I I I know that there's some people that's how they get their next book deal or whatever for myself I would never want to trade in that cuz my reality coming up to punk rock and all of that is very very immediate in that I don't say anything about anybody without expecting them to hear it and with me turning the next corner like going to my car and your parking lot and having that person waiting for me at the car saying Hey brother said this and having to be able to hold it up out of tablet and say and so

I watch what I say cuz in my mind I answer I will have to answer to all of it and so would never say something or someone really really well today's the day we're going to see who can kick whose ass because you're in the business a tough guys you and talk shit about someone and then go public and you don't think twice about it but now it extends to social media and pretty much anybody could do it at any time and it just seems so easy to do but I always try to think if that person was in front of me how would I treat and if I if I would say Fuck this guy like when he's in front of me this is I have a real problem with this person real bad

until I was in front of that person and I have my time with people I don't like when you get into a conversation and all I have said you know very calmly I think you're ridiculous person I think you are a standing walking talking billboard for cowardice something people need to hear that too because sometimes people don't hear that they don't hear that from someone I'm going to turn out the guy but I waited yeah you wouldn't tell her we were there the only people rip on our politicians like some member of Congress I think it's just an inactive waste of food that'll say anywhere hoping it'll bring it to me so I can say it to his or her face for the most part the way I was brought up in the world of music and the street is if you say something that guy will be lining you up for a broken jaw so you better mean it but maybe just wait

sure you guys are in a room and see what you really want to say good sniping from a windowless room from somewhere or being a keyboard activist that's not that doesn't mean much to me yeah I think you know Ted is the spokesperson for the right in in that he's this contrast and so anyway she's just wild and it used to be long hair doesn't want any more of a long haired guitar player from Michigan I mean East Ted Nugent it should be this he should be a drug user or something right I should be on tour all the time but he's the opposite he looks like doesn't do any drugs doesn't drink any super right-wing and he supports you know Second Amendment and guns and heat there's he's in this group of any has some very strong belief City really does hold in that group but then comes the outrageous stuff that he says and you would get it mischaracterization of him because of some of the things he says we can meet him like

person person to person he's a great guy I talked to him all the time that text each other my experience and I'm a fan of the records I mean it's gospel to me that those records are in My DNA yeah I don't think I'm with you and that I don't know what fuels those and I just don't get it I just honestly dude I can't reconcile the conversations I've had we super friendly and happy that you're a fan of a guy and then you watch some things he says you know on some stage somewhere like wow that's that's as bummed that my whole evening I like that's like okay like that's you it's the first amendment go do your thing but like wow that's this currency in that though I really think that that getting that charge out of seen that outrageous thing it keeps the ball rolling and someone in the son of all I want to roll that I don't want to go there for a while either just doesn't seem sustainable

Sweden sustainable are you ever Showtime special coming out tomorrow night wow that was a great Segway

yeah just let me check with a Road King special tomorrow Friday what's tomorrow the 11th and the 10th Friday August 10th 10 p.m. East Coast West Coast Showtime skull keep talking about and so the 10 seconds and I said keep talking about to go does that mean it's just it's how you talk yourself in and out of trouble like it you're about to get punched out like you keep talking about if you don't get a laugh you're not getting out of this park and that's kind of how I came into talking shows was being as a young guy skinny on Ritalin not a good fighter not a good fire at all but you know how to do it and get all the local bully I said something snarky you're funny and they all the sudden he's got me by the Scruff of my shirt with a fist in my face and the only thing you could do is like imitate him so much that everyone else

flashing like he has to drop you cuz he's not look drunk. Your Collar not your body because you're not making him laugh and so when in doubt keep talkin pal and the fact that I have a quote comedy special on Showtime is so unlikely from some guy from the minimum wage working world I don't believe it myself and so they said what he going to call it a lot of these you know people have a lot of confidence I'm going to call it like destruction what made you do your first talking show 1983 a little on you on Hudson right off of like about 10 pieces north of Santa Monica Boulevard Santa Monica Boulevard is an art space they're called the loss of club and there was a local promoter in town amazing guy and he would get like 25 people on stage and

might as well just 5 minutes had to be the singer of that band the drummer of that band that artist that poet like real artist who speak for a living and then the guy with the funny tour journal or the guy from the Bandit we all like and he's sleep. For 5 minutes and these shows were really fun cuz it just people are off stage all night long like running off stage and the bass player Black Flag truck to Kowski the fat fantastic intellect he would get invited onto these bills I would go with it because we were Beach guys we lived in the sticks and The Giver in Hollywood so we'll go into the Big Smoke will go see the big city I don't cuz he had the band van he going to town I tag along so he'd read out of some notebook his apocalyptic Romantics and one night the promoter said you got a big mouth next week you 5 minutes or like what if 7 Minutes 5 bucks all I could think of was the five bucks I like what I could go somewhere starving as any band was as though the next show I got on stage at law

told the story that wouldn't happen to band practice the day before wear a white supremacist in a car to run over our guitar player cuz we had brown skin people at our band practice and so he yelled you accuse our guitar player being a lover and try to run him over on his way to the liquor store to get some orange juice so our guitar player comes back a little shaken run over by a Neo-Nazi and let's go back to practice and so Frost I was just Tuesday in the life of Black Flag for an audience that I could jaw hit the ground then I read something I've written I go out my five minutes are up or whatever it was and I left the stage and it felt right I felt like a fish dropped into water for the first time I say I'm a fish like I did not get banned but I know stage fright and this meaning of microphone it felt more natural the music ever felt which was cool to do but never felt natural just felt like is it this thing as in me is got to come out I'm serving of a monster or the talk

shows like yeah this is me and after the show people came up and said what's your next show that's what I'm leaving on for the grown up when you just talkin I said we'll know that's a one-off I got this $5 bill I'm out of here and so the agent did the promoter guy said okay you're very good at that your natural how about this I promote all these different poets and performance artist I'll get you 20 bucks you'll do 20 minutes opening for this guy okay so I did I did 20 minutes and then after a handful of those shows those poet types of opening for me because the Black Flag aspect kicks it like around 4 Black Flag people show up and I guess I was good enough and so those poets weren't that happy like I'm out opening for this guy okay and that was 83 turning into 84 by 85 I had gone to Europe for some poetry Festival which I kind of black Dawn 2 in Holland I don't across country

12 to 50 people at night sleep on the promoters couch go by Amtrak and started my little book company 83-84 self-publish to this day that's awesome and it went from single and now it's a 14-month tour that takes in 20 countries multiple Knights and cities at nice theaters do you only use yourself for your publishing company or do you publish anybody else's books we used too many years ago were people I knew who I thought were great writers I put them out weed license Nick Cave's books from his Publishers in Europe we licensed a few different titles we did photo books and the couple of Novel short story Collections and it's very hard to have a company's hard to sell a book in the world unless it's like Stephen King or Danielle Steel X mega you know at the at the cash register at the airport store if you're selling poetry books different

in literature you are nothing but I've helped my books did okay they still they always do okay everyone else's books is like trying to sell dead animal. See what I mean I don't know what that interested I'll look but they don't want to take it home and so we stopped signing new writers sold through that their press runs let the licenses run out of will get to keep their masters and then we just concentrated on me cuz I I keep the whole staff busy with all the stuff I've got going in so we publish but we publish me and I've done a bunch of books seven holy shit I got nothing else going on at all but two of them we want to do a photo book a few years ago and Heidi who runs all my company she's the smart one so I showed her the manuscript she was okay the book is great but let's not do it on our company cuz it's a lot of start-up money for a photo book it's a lot of set-up cost let's get you a literary agent and do it somewhere

where else and so it's a smart idea and so we got a literary agent and we did get a book deal with a very good Chicago to Chicago Company Chicago review on forgetting and they put out the photo book and that was a learning experience like working with an editor like I'll go well here's the cover they will have a meeting about that and like you're having meeting it's my book it's my book cover some used to write owning my own machine but when you work with other people's money everyone has a big opinion so that that book came out and did and continues to do very well and many years ago I did it kind of the best of if I have any best of material I did a best of for Random House many many years ago that you still see it it's in print and that's a lot of people's first book of mine cuz it's in stores we pulled my company's books out of circulation because of Amazon cuz they can actually sell it cheaper than we can cuz they don't mind making five sets on a book

cuz you're selling 80 billion books a second so we pulled our cells out of distribution and now it's very much the website and it live shows and we have less returns we don't get a pallet of damaged books coming back that were you know abused in some book store in a shopping mall in the midwest like heavily thumbed but never taken home so you can't buy your books off Amazon West the third party seller write and sell them on your own and you might not sell as many but you don't get 1100 returns to get 1100 turn off let you know what we're selling at everyone else's books to read like a pallet of like books it look like a dog chewed them stickers it is what it is and so extraordinarily small a shame I sell lots of books saved their big do great on SE books as well in fact that's kind of over taking I'm not an ebook guy I like to take a marker and mark books

it's like by paper ones but apparently the real world likes to read on their tablet and so all my books are on that platform thanks to Heidi and apparently they sell very well I don't keep track I just write him I don't count them if you haven't suggested somebody a good book of yours to start with would you say to start with like I was going to read your books which I start with I would tell you to read Blood Meridian by Cormac McCarthy I'll just tell you read a real writer get in the van might or journals from Black Flag is just a people like that book it's in a bunch of different languages it's just a cool insane read of like living this very oferrell life on your fighting women and music and relative property that's a fun one to start a war II like the travel books I've been writing the last few years I've he's like right when I travel all over the world that's why I write these books from

these places like from a ship in Antarctica from May 10th in the deserts of Timbuktu and those travel books I like quite a bit and a dull Roar they always have an aunt and a at the beginning of a dull Roar. To come up to the rest of the names like it makes me feel like I need to work more like when you're writing all the time and doing all these things it like you're one of those guys it's like it feels like you're always with your foot on the gas yeah I'm kind of furious for work I don't if it's not what it's what I do but it's also what I don't do in that I don't have a family and I'm not putting it down I just don't have that I'm just not chipped that way I never thought of having kids I don't have a wife I don't have friends really most of the people I know

either pay salary or commission to my phone doesn't ring my old best friend from the since I was 12 ft in the key of the band fugazi he and I talk every Sunday if possible hopper pass at my phone usually doesn't ring unless it's an interview or Heidi going hey you're late get over there is that good it is what it is work for you like it's all lights all I know I've been that way since I was 5 button to the no friends part well I don't know looking for enemies I'm not looking for a ride I just

don't want to come over on the weekend for dinner no no I don't have a good time at dinner with somebody just uncomfortable then I'll say the wrong thing and I just act like look at the table full of people going to act like that you should be friends with Comics cuz you can't say the wrong thing cuz no one cares yeah but then you have to then they'll call and say hey come out with us for going and you have to go to but we'll look at all the phone calls I'm saying it sounds like you're managing expectations versus you know like it's that doesn't sound like you don't like friends since you don't want expectations II you know as going to get in the way so also I'm just kind of Moody and that yeah we're going to go out and do this thing and then I don't want to see anyone to do anything until

2028

and I don't want to cancel and so I hear this is my big beat besides hanging out with you my big social thing as many many years ago 2003 I did a song with William Shatner Bill Shatner on his album and we became Henry come by the house for Monday Night Football he invited me to the house for Monday Night Football he lives a few traffic lights for me and I'm walking up the stairs to the the living room where the big TV is and I heard all this laughter invoices and I froze and I was right at the threshold of the door and I said turn back turn back turn back and he saw me and I walked in and met all his really cool friends and he at least

for me Bill is one of the nicest people I've ever met in my life and it's one of the oddest friendships I have in that I've been going to Bill Shatner's house every year since 2003 so it's that 15 years right and I will be there this year I'm on his next record

he's doing another record oh yeah I did the vocal last year rocket man this is it it'll be fun all I'm not going to let you know that sits for him to announce it but every great once in awhile his assistant will contact me hey Bill really wants to see you or how about like next to you guys are you free for next Wednesday go meet him and the wife in the valley and go eat and Mikey yeah and I it's great to see him in his amazing wife and I truly value that friendship I mean I look forward to seeing him I really enjoy hearing what he's up to like five things and it's become this thing where I really look forward to football season I don't know much about football I have no idea what a halfback does it run I think they run I never do but I like going there and it's always the same group of people people please don't like 500 years and they're super nice and I've kind of sort of known them

like 15 years

and it's so odd because I have nothing else like that really in my life I'm just a weirdo just William Shatner weird the other thing I would do once a year and sadly it ended but for a few years I would go to Gail Zappa's birthday party on January 1st because I would play a lot of her husband's music on my radio show Frank Zappa and one time someone in the family wrote me and said hey thanks for playing dad on the show I'm like are you kidding I love those records and then Gail the mom the wife said hey thank you and we know who you are here and we like you I have a birthday party every January 1st want you to come up to the house this year or next year like you and I did and that was like 3 or 4 years in a row I did that until they all passed away and you know in the more you get there or whatever it is like to

the afternoon 2 hours before I'm genuinely nervous to go be in a room full of extraordinarily nice people with fantastically good food and there ever was always so nice to me and like it's like a who's who you walk in your like wow it's all these people you recognize I'm not here to name-drop but some of the tables I sat out of that thing I really am I really talking to like really is fantastic and she was always so nice to me and like it last time I was up there one of my books is like in the living room when they when she passed away I wrote one of the family members I said I am so sorry like that thank you for the hospitality your mom was so great to me and I'm kind of like the rescue. I'm used to being outside so I don't come inside very often and I went to that birthday party because they just the friendliness of that I wouldn't is socially

nerve-wracking as those things are for me I have such respect for that extension of kindness I cannot disrespect it by not going I wouldn't dare the Samurai and he says you do not distract you must be respectful even if it makes you nauseous with social anxiety cuz I just don't know what to do I can't say no because it's such a nice thing to do for someone like she must not really know how I am otherwise she never would have invited me so but things like that out of sheer politeness and respect for someone being friendly to me I'm kind of a pushover just because I'm like wow that was so nice I must salute that

I think it's so good that you're open about your social anxiety and then about how you feel like being around all these people cuz a lot of people the outside they see someone like you you know Black Flag or spoken word things your books your fucking mean I always go back to that the Liar song for your fucking neck was like the size of my waist and you're screaming and painted red and like you this crazy intimidating guy a lot of ways so to hear you talk about social anxiety and how we really feel and I think we all can we all feel that I always feel like that I'm doesn't matter if you're paying attention you're going to have an imposter syndrome you're always going to feel like you don't belong there if you're actually paying attention and if you don't you'll you're probably you probably delusional some type of way about the people who don't like I never get to do cool stuff

little bit before I go into that on your point it's easy for me to be in front of people that's a very different than the being with people I can be the party but going to the parties difficult yourself like five people five thousand people stage-fright know I can't wait to be out there your performer type see if they showed up like are you kidding kill a dog with a wagging tail want to get out there and get it going I can't wait I wait the whole day on tour to get out there all day is about 8 stage time being amongst people like going to the gallery event I go see your Shepard Fairey thing or something and super nice to me and I'm always polite back but I'm a little nervous but if they said can you get up and speak for 5 minutes all yeah I got this

it's a strange strange but it's also a it's a way to avoid being with people be in front of them it's a way to be in the room with people just be the center of attention so maybe that's coming from some kind of neediness or some deprivation as if you know what I didn't get as a kid but it that you make a great point about that when you really think will this is where I belong I think you lose all the fun of it and you turned into kind of a jerk so what I every 500 years I go to one of those premieres I get invited and you're standing you you're in a room full of tons of really good food and now those people eat side-to-side go in there and come out 9 pounds heavier a bunch of shrimp but I was at a big Hollywood premiere of big big movie years ago and it's like that one that one that one that one in there all I got it is their lives and now I'm with a buddy of mine Weebly

dinner and we're like what are we doing here this is so cool cuz we don't we should be here and after shaking Ike Turner's hand 10 minutes later back in my own kitchen going that was so weird like water surreal evening and cuz my friend I were staying next week and he said that looks like a man that is Ike Turner look like a human barracudas like terrified because let's see what yes I did it shook my head wow I see first-ever distorted guitar on tape which is kind of true any what that's right and I left him up and he was all happy to meet me and I said I brought my friend over and we shook his hand cut a stood with him for a minute and went okay so it's probably not going to get any better for us

4 handfuls of mini burritos and we feel

who does one of those nights like we weren't supposed to be

and if I ever lose that now then just never talk to me again cuz I'll just my head would have disappeared up part of me was that anxiety that keeps everything moving super information on yourself for me a lot of things are confrontation like Taurus what you think I can't do 47 shows in 48 days no actually my next to ours 47 and 47 I have a day off and I've two shows a few days later than one day so I don't know what you think I can't believe book 20 more in the winter and just give me a llama and a knife and I'll make every gig watch descendants so much of what he owes me like a huge ideas for books like that's going to take me 5 years to write it

and it did and I just finished it it's going to the proofreader soon. This epic project I wasn't it's it's a series of music books it's four hundred and seven thousand words what yeah it's a bit much but so am I and it is this idea I don't know it's a lot hard drive so we don't have to Deforest some Park but it was an idea I had it's okay just going to take a lot of years to execute this idea and so like watch me work 7 days a week on this thing watch me stay up until the next day working on this thing and a lot of what fuels me that's what gets me into auditions like I think he like yeah I'll just for this TV show 20 years older than all these other people that got the good gym body Sonic fantastic hair

Tipton cologne in my car and I go in there like Bob validated listen to Slayer on the way home how old are you do that I'm off New Edition if it depends if I'm in town and there's interesting things happening more and more as I don't know what's happening but I take more meetings and just get more offers I can't we like you for this yes or no yes I bet there's auditions I do for voice over for an animated or but car ads would have you and acting I audition for all kinds of things and every great once in awhile the audition will get work but mainly I just get offers we like you for this it starts in October and that happens fairly often now when I get in those lines at at any major Studio you want to imagine where I go in for the meeting with a casting

they kind of look you over but I do those raw auditions where you leave and you see like 5 headshots on a desk it is what it is and you get literally you're out of there about 35 seconds you walk in your Roth Henry Henry are you ready sure you have any questions no stand on this piece of tape she'll be reading with you and you real thank you very much for coming in and you leave the trailer and you get back on the 101 and go home and you never hear from them again often for me most the time out of a hundred of those 98 time I think that's for everybody except I think that's one of the things that makes actor so fucking weird is not just that they need attention in the first place where they they get told no a lot and he said it sucks it sucks and they're already insecure

first place and then they sort of try to model their behavior based on what they think the casting agents in the producers one here and they change and they develop this style of communicating that's very act 3 it's a weird way to make your living. I've never relied on acting as my source of income in 1984 when I was 23 I had a thing has been serving me up to sitting here with you now I was very young and 23 years of age will young idiot and I looked all around me and all my peers are super talented who are my peers to do the Meat Puppets the Dead Kennedys I'm just surrounded by really talented people who are brilliant great songwriters and between tourist many of them are waiting tables living with mom living on couches you don't sleeping at band practice you know for the kick drum pillow as as their pillow just like you're roughing it and I reckon that I'm less talented than all of them and if they're waiters between towards the only reason I'm not as Black Flag never stop storing

what words that ball never hit the ground because we starve and so I better get plans b c d e f and g ready because music's not going to sustain the ironically it went very well for me and so I was doing the writing so I'm going to really get better at writing I'm going to really bear down on this the talking shows and getting 35 people at night I'm going to get 50 people at night and then voice over people started coming like hey can you do a voiceover I got a voice what do you want I better learn to say yes to stuff and buy the mid-80s hey you want to be in a movie yeah what do I have to lose except calories from starving and so it was fear of not eating that knowing I better have a plan and so I start developing that in the eighties and nineties and from that came what I said I'm done with this I'm going to go immediately into this documentary and then I'm finishing this radio show and then I'm going off to do this film and then I'm going on tour then I'm coming back and finishing this book and it turned into this

juggling all these things so I never had to be a full-time actor like that's how I pay the rent that would be terrifying right up there with being a professional comedian like I don't know how someone acts for a living without being really good or out of their minds of eggs iety but being a professional comedian at least you write your own stuff so you're kind of in control of that and then you don't have to pay and then you don't have to pay people like you have to pay royalties you don't have a drummer that has to show up also you have the bass player who you got to get along with I just don't eat very balls with the band that comedians don't have a look at you guys and I don't know how to fuck you guys do it because there's not as much like you you might do the same size venues that we do but you're splitting the money with all these fucking people you know and then a lot of times today the record company gets a piece they get a piece of everything right to get a piece of your merchandise you see bands play really big places and it's amazing how much

they don't make for each guy in the band gets here and then you see someone like a small comedian playing like a 150 seater for 2 nights 2 sets of night you know the the laugh whatever in the Midwest and you like wow wow that's a pretty good weekend but cuz he's just take me home in his suitcase you can get by and you can work you can work everywhere you know for a band I think it's more limited places you go or more limited you know and I think that's interesting it was almost like a desperation to not have to work a job as a waiter that kept you just hustling what does the straight world so I've been in it I come from it you know minimum wage work and everything and I knew I couldn't survive in it cuz I know you get as a young adult you start to figure out who you are

nardis but I'm an artist type I'm in I'm nuts you can put me in a straight job I could pass for normal just cuz I can't ask it I can totally do it like you could put me in a Ralph's a Kroger is a Starbucks I will totally get in there and get to work and clean it all and serve it up with a smile but I'll be going crazy inside I will I will be punch everybody in those places I don't know but I can't sustain in that and I haven't had to for many years I've been lucky I've been in the world of lunatic since 1981 the old crazy person. The crazy people when I look at a straight job I'm like man I don't think at this point I could hack it not cuz I'm spoiled just because I've never had to tether my adult mind to that I work 7 days a week but on Henry stuff it's me it's not it's a different thing as a different thing

play over 60 hours a week I mean it's I do two shifts usually to 8 to 10 hour shifts depending on the everywhere blood well I can't do 4 hours of sleep a night but I'm asleep at the stopwatch on the phone before I go to bed Justice clock Sleep patterns I did about six points something hours of sleep last night that's good that's good I feel great today I barely ate and I got in a good workout and all last night I did a lot of pull-ups I played 15 7-inch records and between flipping them over I got a beam in my living room is a beam coming out of the ceiling that supports me and I just run over there just do a bunch of pull-ups and then go change the record so you want more music you have to pay to pay in pain all this by yourself all alone curtain and fell asleep so I got good sleep last night so you mix the workout in with your enjoyment of music you just space it in between the song the last night was pulling tonight at the turntable I'll be listening to more records

I'll just do sets of push-ups next to the turntable of rest good hard workout in and then you listen to 4 minutes and it's just that I'm not doing 50 sets of 50 reps sets of doing like 15 to 25 but I'm doing them for quite a while by the time I go to bed it's Advil time but I work on something every day on tour I don't take vacations I'm not trying to brag I just can't I can't face you not doing it the fit whatever the thing is will you found an interesting way to live life I don't know anybody like you but it's working for you yeah it works on all levels and like I said I can sustain I pay my bills I'm not bored and I get for the most part to call my own shots and you seem happy happy when I'm working happy with the task

value work I'm going to Chief McChunky like if I'm depressed I just pick something to do like finish a radio show edit this thing transcribe this chapter from a notebook and after I'm done okay that's the antidepressant was actually doing something which is not the worst is not booze it's not a pill it's the treadmill for it's that all that damn thing I got to get it written. Shut up and write it that when I'm done it's another day there was an article written about happiness and that's one of the things they said that one of the things that seems to sustain people's happiness or facilitate happiness is accomplishing tasks like setting goals for yourself accomplishing those goals and getting the sense of completion of actually done the work and you did it and you discipline yourself and got through it and that this is one of the major keys to happiness for a lot of people

I've been battling with depression since I was a little kid and I just knew it was depression and I don't want to do drugs I just don't want it my brain plus trucks it's like someone else's idea it terrifies me so I have to figure out what do you do and so that's where the gym working out really is a big help writing but listening to music that is like kind of my drug you know I just put the records on in like three songs in your I thought there's that feeling and see neutral it's like floating in the tank or when your scuba diving just right you're floating that's how I feel have the music on this is as good as it gets that's why I always have you don't look for happiness coming in does the exercise work better or the same as work like for managing depression of the workout is maintenance

it doesn't achieve much but I achieve the workout but you feel like the Endorphin release does that help you get it it does and as the Buddhist say I made Merit I I went in there and did my time on the treadmill I don't want to be there the last 15 minutes I don't I'd rather be somewhere else like you out that's cool you'll be fine sit down do your work that's why I did before the podcast I was suggesting Hot Yoga to you and you you seem to be very stiff lately you've got some injuries and some things out so probably back on you that'll fix a lot of that shit the really I know you you have a great workout diversity you when you and I were talking before we were at your place and you said some mornings you feel like treating this way you'll go to that gym or you'll train like what do Judo or whatever and then the next day it's going to be kettlebell so you really like to mix it up I think it's good for a body to always be guessing it's coming next

I think that's important I also like there's some things that I really have to do I think I need at least one day of hard cardio a week and I think I need at least one day of hard lifting weights a week but I also think I need at least one day of yoga week at least yoga's to me it's one of the most important things I do because of her that 90 minutes I can't go anywhere I don't touch my phone's on the road with me you just me and a jug of water in the yoga mat and the class in a bunch of old ladies are kicking my ass these old ladies are fucking tough man this is old lady she goes this workout class may I see you there all the time she's got to be close to 70 Geneva bring water just tops it out she's there for 90 minutes sweating and grunting through the postures and those are you doing an hour-and-a-half class was last 20 minutes in 104 degrees it's so hard to get through but when you get through you just feel like you feel better I just I almost like can't while I'm in it I can't wait to do it again like while I'm struggling

sounds like. And you do more than that I need to do this more often rather I can't wait to do this again like I always feel that and it just lengthens everything like all them things in the legs does a hamstring stretches everything out lengthens it and all the attention and just straighten it out and loosens it up and I just feel like for a guy like you or I who does a lot of a lot of like especially that used to have you lifting you were saying lot of squats it's decompression and in for your body maintenance is phenomenal by Let's Lose the lactic acid out of your muscle tissue yeah you know here's what I've observed no I live in Los Angeles so there's a lot of yoga people I know them but you could also see how they walk how they sit there so in their body and there is a

grace to you I'm not trying to put a yoga person they're not only are they limber they're just really okay don't disturb body articulation you like okay I don't have that I'm going to herky-jerky uncoordinated person but there is a hum coming from that person's overall body it's just it's a beautiful machine the way they articulate themselves in the way they sit my Supply on usual balance the balance of like the words to tell someone who does it they have that and it's not subtle I recognize it would love it man you know what you would love it cuz it fucking sucks and while you're doing it man do you have the internal dialogue is crazy you want to both will you we want to bowl but you also start going over your life and your mind and deal with all your bullshit and your to-do list and all the things you're you're you're doing wrong or slacking this something about really struggling and he's static position

games for like a minute where you trying to like hold your sweat sweat is literally pouring off your arms your head and there's something about that man that it's just really cleansing it just really empty I just think it's a thing that you're missing that you would really love if you tried I bet if you did it and then came back with you the podcast you related books

change my life a lot of Fighters a lot of people who like are hectic for a living people you know Hixon Gracie is Gracie The Addams Family the family is the most famous because he's probably the most important figure it ever in the history of martial arts because he won the first Ultimate Fighting Championship and showed that a small man can actually beat larger men with technique and skill well his brother is Hixson and his brother is like universally regarded as one of the greatest you just two guys if not the greatest of all time and he was different than everybody else in that heated yoga like his thing was it like I've never heard of a martial artist to get into yoga but Hixson would do these breathing exercises and you do these balance beam exercises news always doing yoga and stretching and I was a giant part of his work out and he was

above and beyond everyone else in his time. Like in the 90s everyone was scared of Hixson he was the man I mean wasn't like there was any debate it's very rare that you get something that is so antagonistic and so tightly contested as two men using a martial arts techniques trying to strangle each other and one guy stands Above All by such a large margin and that was Hickson and I really do believe that part of it was his mind part of it was as physicality but it's a lot of physicality was enhanced by his dedication to Yoga 2 Legit Yogi like he does that fire breathing shit where he sucks his stomach in that weird way and hasn't move up and down your CDs or do that yeah he does that like a like a real Yogi like it's it's a real trip and I think because of his his is like physically it like you can see there I just got this video here he could see him do this fire breathing shit like watch because of the stomach cuz it's kind

fucking crazy he sucks his stomach way way way of deep into his rib cage he does this Breath of Fire thing and then as it gets going he starts pumping his see it if you pull it up there Jamie this is the part where it starts to do it look at this wow yeah like what the fuck man crazy she has abdominal muscle control long time and because of that he had this phenomenal core strength and phenomenal balance and he just added a giant advantage over everyone else and I think a lot of that Advantage was his his ability to move his body was different but it also just forgot like you that's been just lifting weights for so long it's the perfect antidote for your body's like your body will react to look all this out

thank you thank you been asking for this you know this hold that pose this is instead of just lifted so what men like to do instead of that you're holding arms out there like that you are fuc I don't even have me waiting these things and I want to drop them every once in awhile I've worked out with someone else and then go get we're going to do this and this and then you work out with and that you let them you'd like yourself be trained yeah and I've done a few work as I got locate I'm going to kill you like okay what does that mean like by the end of this you will be able to take your shirt off to change and I've done you know where you're benching this much than this worse than this what you need to do like a hundred and fifty reps and by the time you can't lift the bar and you can't lift your arm you're literally trembling from exhaustion and I told that to be able to go that's yoga you will tremble from exhaustion and you'll be so happy when you leave because of how good you feel and you can't wait to go back and you won't be

U-joints out the way you will with deadlifting I would have yeah there's no way around it

yeah you I did a thing the other day on advice of Heidi the manager and Joey Diaz I tried that cry o therapy yes and I am not I'm I'm in days are in lowercase I understand why would work and I'm not saying it's quackery but I just feel like I'm in a nanny whole scene when I walk into these places like cuz it's like super Hayward that whatever therapy Moonlight in this is it breaks your rocks credible shape then so I said okay you know I got in the robe and I went into that room for 2 minutes and 45 seconds and the endorphin rush it's like a UPS truck of endorphins you come out of there like coming back in and since I got out of it all I've been thinking about is going back in in the parking lot

I just want to turn around and get another shot and I asked the guy at the counter like what is a unleashes them like fight or flight you just get this back is Sia's again sometime it was incredible and is not long but you're out of there before you know it 10 minutes are in and out yeah but I know that a lot of athletes and I know that you use it a Joey Diaz with all them on their brochure on the only all these sports teams like it's just part of what you do you do this a lot of naysayers when it comes to this even scientist apparently they don't exercise but people that do exercise and do try it all pretty much universally regarded as being beneficial but one of things and clinical studies is that it reduces and produces more anti-inflammatory Bodies In The Blood it is so it did does reduce inflammation in your body and it just but I think just

elevations worth knowing that norepinephrine release that you get when you get out of there it's so it's unbelievable you get that it wasn't subtle now it's amazing how the sun feels great in your face to get outside like everything felt great I don't do much as far as stimulants like coffee and aspirin I guess I'm not even sure what the effective if anything and so it doesn't take much to make me go well that's different but I mean I walked out it back to the parking lot like that was fantastic and I take 10 minutes off 93 again so I do two sessions yeah I do to back-to-back alarm for 30 minutes and then once your skin temperature gets around 84° I'll let you get back in there and then I go back in there again for another 3 minutes so wait how many like you'll go into this place 3 minutes and then I wait for 10 minutes and I go in for another 3

so you two to two sessions in one visit yes yeah and how many time how often how many times a month whenever I can but I've been mixing it up more with Sana I've been doing a lot of sauna lately I kind of like that as much if not more so yeah Sana Sana seems to be really good for muscle injuries and something about the song of her anytime they like muscle tissue or soreness or weird shit sorry I just blows out all out and son is also one of those things that it's what it is is your body reacting to extremes right with its extreme cold extreme heat your body produces heat shock proteins and cold shock proteins in all those things you're doing is reducing inflammation that's that's the number one thing like you want to feel better reduce inflammation and this one of the best ways to manipulate your body is either through crowd cryotherapy or through sauna both of those things are amazing yeah someone I know that she says it's all about inflammation got to beat the inflammation of the car all the bread cut it off

alcohol if you can do that information nothing good in there for you your body gets used to it too that's what's really interesting you don't really crave it anymore like I still like ice cream I still enjoy like a dessert or something like that but it doesn't have the same impact he still like I see a sandwich and I go off again that sandwich was that pastrami sandwich but doesn't do it for me anymore I don't I recognize what that is like oh that's a trick that's a trick that same really food yeah I I don't eat as much as I used to I just feel so much better when I just skip the middle meal and whose idea was it three meals a day anyway and I found that I can live comfortably you like torturing myself like I'm going to starve and nail myself to this chair but if I'm too just too distracted to work cuz I'm hungry I need to address that but what I found is if

I just kind of don't eat a lot after a couple of days I'm like a jet in the high are your burning no fuel cuz you're just into thin air I walked by food I've had like two meals in the last two-and-a-half Mills like in the last 3 days and I feel fine actually I feel like really bouncy like I don't need the the post workout 7 Minute power nap I feel really good to do intermittent fasting at all yes on the woman I work with you know Heidi she does that sometimes it I'll just follow her lead so sugar hey I'm doing this all I'll try that this stuff and she knows a lot more about it than I do so I just do what she does and so few years ago I got into like one meal a day I was just trying it out no one told me to house in India of all places and I was out all day taking photos and sweating and I would eat dinner

and I would like to sleep through breakfast and go back out and with my camera so dinner became my meal in the first 3 days of that was a little tough and then it was like I never wanted I kind of felt bad when I went back to the Western meeting a lot of food you can live on pizza for the rest of your life very happily all you know whatever it's by really does that intermittent that time will not be a fraction of what you used to eat right when I start limiting the food I'm more alert

my sleep is more restorative and I bounce out of bed like I don't have that afternoon drowsiness I just stay with it and I just way more buoyant and present type faster just concentrate more and if I want I want or I it's usually I do one point something meals a day like I'm about to leave on tour it'll be it's an evening meal post-show I put myself into an 8-hour feeding window and 16-hour fasting window every day and I've been pretty consistent without over the last like 4 or 5 months and is it has a big impact man when you when I eat dinner you know so if I'm done at 8 of just I just time it out 16 hours later is when my first meal comes I can have coffee in between now and then but nothing was it like any real significant calories I'm just having some liquid or something like that and that's it and then it just by doing that man I just like

wake up in the morning I'm not craving breakfast I'm not I'm not even hungry my body is just totally adapted to it just never has really a chance to digest all the bodies like as it's processing it's in, like really another order would never gets to realize that just like we're done it's always about you like a cow they're always processing nutrition and I I wonder if that's a western model other parts of the world people live very differently than we do I guess it is what it is and Amil is it's almost just a thing that happens now and then it's not like it's dinner time and we're going to talk about report cards infrasonic Gathering all over the city and they're going to eat I think at some point where every even sleep you going to party like Vietnam

people just like sleeping behind the counter of the store they work at this they've been different day and a half cuz mom can't come in so there were running the store and then sleep is this thing that you get now and then and I think food is like that in a lot of parts of the world like a meal at the next time I eat will be the next to eat when you go to these places and I know you travel pretty much all over the world do you go out of your way to try to sample and as wide variety is the local Cuisines you can depends on where I go and I'm not that guy who just brings it all from home and I never leave home but I can't afford to eat a bad meal and be bedridden bedridden for the next day when I should be out in the streets looking at stuff and so as you do you run into the bad meal while you're hugging a tree watching The Arc of vomit like why is Linda Blair and I'm done that from here to Myanmar

and Russia wherever I've had some bad meals and so when the food looks dodgy like in the interior of Africa will you pointed the meat object and go what is that the guy will say I think it's goat just cuz I just can't so what I've learned to do and it's hard on your back cuz it's a lot of weight I take say I'm going to be out in Africa for two weeks I bring about two meals worth of Chow with me that's a lot of nuts a lot of Clif bars a lot of like peanut butter you know things that just don't go bad in heat or I can just look at the food and not tonight it's going to be a handful of almonds and this and water also in parts of the world Waters dodgy you find a store you buy the box of water rip it open to make sure it has been tampered with by the whole box put in your backpack and look 40 lb of water for the next 5 days it sucks but

you can't be somewhere like I I'm thirsty and I don't know about that water cuz I thought it was something you know they have these portable backpack filters and steri pens and things a lot of backpack hikers there was a very small now they're very small and lightweight and you can get some like if you're saying the place you think it has dodgy water you can get a gravity filter so you put water delivery to get rain water from outside the puddle and almost like it looks like someone peeing at the bottom of this huge bag bag of water but if it all and it allows you to drink basically puddle water I've never gotten that high-tech I've been in some pretty dodgy places but I've always been somewhere in prep like a city before I go into the countryside when I go okay it's going to be 5 days before I see anything like this again so I'm provisioning for 8 days that's water

Google steripen you should get one of these things cuz this this thing is so simple it's like it basically looks like a pen and it works with ultraviolet light and you put it in water I see if you have a glass of water you stir this in the water it kills everything in the water everything yeah it'll still give this but there it is right there so there's Buffalo pissed in that water it's just want to smell like Buffalo pissed and won't give you Giardia and won't give you anything else that's smart yeah and it's not big it's a small little device you see it this way there's parts of like mainly Africa where you go really in the water like that's a lot of a schedule is like what do you mean that's that's our water my good friend Justin Wren he runs a charity called fight for the Forgotten when they build Wells for the pygmies in the Congo and he's had malaria three times I'm going over there yeah and yes

he's a beautiful human being like this guy sacrifices so much he's in the Congo several months out of every year but that you know these people that like to see little children with horrible distended bellies are filled with parasites and heartbreaking it a lot of it is clean water and so they're developing their they're actually partnered up with water for and I was going to do it at all on his own butt and threw this at one of my response is called the cash app and through the cash app they we were erased thousands of dollars to build several wells in the condo we're constantly like raising more money and building more Wells and you know what changes their life they have free actual clear water that comes out of ground you see these people celebrating and dancing on the wells get turned on like this is so powerful you just think of water is like oh hey here's some water I got a model but to them it's it's everything I've been working on and off for the water in jail for many years old

drop in the bucket and I've been to Uganda and South Sudan with them they drill at schools and he has a western their Waters this thing we sing in the shower with you it's like it's always around you trip over the bottles there so much water in other parts of the world as you know not so much and when you when you see the impact of water on the school to so many things you don't think about this one school with a drill drop in the bucket drill bit before we were there to visit the well and make me the kids in moussaka is so I think north of Kampala and what one of the drop in the bucket people says like they now have toilets and running water do you understand what that means for female literacy like what do you mean woman a girl gets a certain age she goes to a major major physiological change there's a way for her to clean yourself up as a lot of potential shame and self-conscious

you suck going to school cuz it's not a way to keep yourself together and you stop your learning stops at Young adulthood but with running water and a way to as we westerners do so easily you keep yourself hygienic and you can go back to class and learn to read and I was like I did I never would have thought of that had I not come on this trip and it hit me like a truck cuz you said what I'm thirsty water means so much more just dignity and I want to be clean you and me we throw our clothes in the laundry everyday clean clothes I mean you see these women walking 8 miles each way with a cherry cancel water so that's for drinking a lot of its for cleaning clothes cuz they're sending their kid to a schooling want the kids human dignity water and all of that is a big you know you you can't have things you help a water to water means I don't stink and you must take me so you must respect me as a person

because I don't smell like I've been living in these clothes for a week and I learned a lot of that by traveling but traveling with that NGO was a yeah man that's that's it that's it that's something I never would have considered a human dignity you know you have a lot of angry people in the world because you and I as westerners we don't suffer this a lot of indignities that we don't suffer

that a lot of people in the world work hard to not suffer like dancing like okay have to go get the water today you know that's a long trip cuz it's there's no tap and I got kids and you know infants and I I got to make this work cuz I can't have my family stinking and I got to do the cooking and hopefully don't get eaten by crocodile monkey the monkey's they smell the water and they bug you for the water assault you inviting to grab the water knock it over and just lick it off the ground yet people get assaulted in dry season by monkeys you see what people do they're not trying to be rockstars all they want to do is what you and I do without even thinking twice and that it's made me as an older guy I'm pushing 60 it's made me really reconsider Human Relationships like our current political

cool climate the way people talk to each other now it's is sometimes kind of terrifying and it makes me really reconsider human dignity respect patients like there's a lot of people like I disagree with but they're coming from something real like something very real and honest propelled them to make that sign or to do that thing and the cause and effect I think there's maybe wrong-headed but the causes real and the effect is sincerely the action sincerely held that the motivation and it's that kind of travel and looking out looking how people they don't want much they just want to get by by and large and it's made me reconsider kind of how I have I do with everyone out in the world I'm I think I'm getting better at it cuz it's so hard it is hard but I think if you paid

to do it and you keep concentrating on as you get older you do get better at it and the idea that someone who's almost 60 is still learning like that's just how we are and we have this weird idea that people are static that you know you made me the gynae 70 when you meet him when he 75 going to be the same guy if not worse but no people keep their capable of growth as long as they're alive and and motivated as much as you want to ask I meant 70 year old to wear me out like I can't keep up with you go to take a photo of shorts and then you eat people or 22 and they're so burned out and they're so hard to be around like man if I had your youth I'd be the bouncing off the planet what are you doing that is just a mindset and the all kinds of surrounding factors and forces but it's really that's what you want to do it at a certain part of your life I have very little

sympathy for adults in that you're 35 this is all you pal your addictions your crap marriage that's all you like I don't have that much I did so much coke at the house anymore that's a lot of coke and I'm sorry that you're living in a box or the van down by the river that's a lot of slipped out so get up and don't do it don't make the same mistake but adults come on man you you know who you are at this point and you you know what you can be and at this point is for rudeness I hate it and is I hate when I'm rude at my damn I have to punish myself and so I as I get older I'm working as best as I can to be more clear to be more polite and more patient just saw him or unavoidable like on stage I don't curse so there's no way you can marginalized

even if you're doing your your live speaking shows you have these discussions and you're talking about crazy things that you've seen you don't swear how many times have I sworn in this room with you right now I'll dead today I don't think you have I haven't I keep track why is that many years ago almost 10 years ago I was going out with a woman who never cursed and I I work with people who don't curse the you they get their point across and I this girl is going out she's fantastic and she never cursed and my sailor speak I was like wow I don't have any company here also Barack Obama in presidency of traditionally don't curse but he's had such a good way with words I just admired him on the stump I'm sure was all written form but nonetheless I just like how how the man carried himself and I said I want to be more like that and I was just in Australia a couple of weeks ago I was speaking and very interesting panel about Beach

the only mail on the panel's fascinating and a guy came up with his kids I got a big fan and I want my kids to meet you and my son is 11 and I wanted to come see one of your shows one day I said oh I think he should see me on my next order in 2020 will be like what 13 no problem and I'm not saying my show is namby-pamby but I want to be unavoidable will you can't write me off Sam wrong fine like always just a foul mouth so we don't have to take him seriously I don't want to give you that handle to jerk me around like I have a plenty of other chances you can turn around by and so I'm just trying to not give people that angle and it forces me to evolve my point of view

where those words are fun and hyperbolic but they just don't they don't get across what I want to get across that's interesting I would think that you're probably best but you should do it anyway you want but what I'm what I'm thinking is that what one way to use those words is to have your point is clear as possible and then use them rarely you know like one of those things when I was starting to do in comedy back in Boston they they would call the fuck meter they would say you don't want to go on stage and say fuck every other word because why do people use the word fox in place of the word um you know they like fucking guy this fucking says to me fucking I don't want to fucking tell you what the fuck is that is you're just this is just poor communication this is a shity economy of words so that word you've given it used it so many times you've given away all its meaning it doesn't mean anything anymore so when you do it and I'm like fuck you

meeting anymore yeah but if you say it like once a year at the sites you say fuck you. Everyone believe it is serious but if you just drop it all the time and I believe in the First Amendment but to me it's it when you use that stuff if you come in as one thing but everyone you kind of the results as you're something else just saw the people in front of some people's eyes yeah I mean you certainly limit your digestibility be articulate then overbearing and I and II watch the news and some of these pundits are very very educated and they're very very sharp there pundits for a living thing, they make commentary for a living in their damn good at it and I can wow that's a hell of a sentence might like to be able to have Rock something like that one day that's that's kind of what I admire

I start shrinking with age well as you when you're young it's interesting that the difference between writing something and saying something like as you do your spoken word shows and you have the stories that you want to tell but I would imagine that you probably write out a good most of it do you do that so I could use some of it you just know the stories you just tell the story the way what I'm out in the world I'll be out all day like taking photos or whatever food labeling with the locals getting information then I come back somewhere and I write it up I'll take you know sometimes you eat a place like Haiti you don't be outside at noon the sun will just like beat you up so you find shade make your notes so I'm always trying to make notes and then at night I write it all up a lot of that turns into a book like I use every part of the deer like like go somewhere by I make soup when I hold a coat every part gets used and so

books come from that but some stories from those travels mold them over in my mind and the show for me when I'm on stage is just can't be reporting there has to be something of it there has to be a Roma coming from there has to be a lilt there has to be something that wisdom or some kind of Melody that comes from the raw information like I took all these notes and got the houses of the Holy album which is just be if its component parts but it was mixed together in a way where it's like this beautiful thing and so that often takes weeks where I can feel like I saw this what was the story where the guy fell over and but no it wasn't at six piece of thinking about it wasn't him he's not the story it's the guy who's watching and did nothing that's the story and all the sudden the whole angle changes and so I'll know these things over cuz I have a lot of time I live alone

and some other time of story gets to the stage it's like a stone has been rolled and Polished and I will there's parts of the valley Ventura Boulevard were at night there's nothing but dog walkers and joggers all the shops are closed I will park in a parking lot and I'll walk about a mile each way talking out loud saying the stories out loud yeah Henry's practice how does one man show that's why I don't give the location because you will go well I remember that one and I will let my brain hear my voice say them and I'll make edits while I'm walking I got a now that's a dead end and I like and I've been doing this for years and I do it on the treadmill in my mind you know I'll just like kind of a Mumble to myself or people will come over to Jim like are you okay yeah I'm just you know just say actor little

cheer warm-up shall I go thanks for your demo like screw you I paid money I want a game and so I only understand come in with the a game and so I do all my woodshedding alone and some other time I hit stage it's that story is very involved in that it continues to every night you know I keep shaving the parts off and it it's a chiseled thing of beauty a few nights in you really can only do so much on the written page or on the screen you have to evolve it in front of a live audience which you are you doing very I mean I listen to a bunch of your older stuff and it's essentially a form of stand-up you know there's different kinds of music does different kind of stand up as well yours is a storytelling stand up in front of a live audience Showtime special tomorrow night tomorrow night

show time and that's a lot of that is just storytelling and it is funny I mean but I always leave room in my resume because I don't want to tie myself too, because when I'm telling the story about the the the part of whatever I would like Bangladesh I was in that wasn't funny I don't want to be in a comedy club with some guy going to wait a minute I didn't pay for this make me laugh and so I don't want to be selling a false goods and so sometimes it's quite often it's funny but sometimes it's not for me events plus time if someone didn't if there were no casualties injury maybe an eye it is pretty funny week later after the scabs of falling off it's pretty funny but the thing is also the you don't have

a restricted sort of form in which you have to perform in by doing it spoken word style you essentially could do whatever you want yes and I need that freedom I can't be depended upon to make you laugh all the time right yeah I like that there's anything about stand-up is part of it I really like because it forces you to use economy of words and boil your ideas down to this very clear Rhythm will you like to keep a glass but part of it is I mean where I get my freedoms from this like from doing podcasts like so I can express myself anyways and get thoughts across where the it doesn't have to have any form it can be funny or it can be not it can be depressing or funny and sad or just have to realize itself in 11 cm is an impact like this thing about stand-up is that you're always getting a reaction and if you don't get that reaction is not successful you can call whatever you want to say oh this is stand up but you know I'm talking about

stand out there I'm talking about things that are tragic in my stand up so it's deeper and more meaningful like okay but then it's not real stand-up you know stand up is funny and once it stops being funny then you're doing something else and I know you're doing the spoken word are you doing a play or one-person show or whatever it is and I would never dare going to a comedy club and do what I do to improve or something like that 2 times in my life one time the venue I was supposed to be in got knocked out cuz of a storm as I said we've moved your show to like the Laugh dungeon someplace in the east coast would like 80,000 headshots on the wall that little Park a stage the PVC boxes the p-8 screw into the wall and I did my talking show me all these little city these tables going why are we here and on the last big tour in 2016 I don't like nice off and they said okay Thanksgiving

find me a show they said we found you show it's a comedy club next to a strip bar and there's no backstage there's no monitors this is two boxes in the wall family-owned really nice people and I forget where was somewhere in Illinois I was one show one night tour buses rumbling away in the parking lot the next night I think was like three nights of Ralphie May the great comedian what is a straight up comedy club and I went in there and I just kind of did what I've been doing for like the last 9 months on the road in a lot of it was very funny and the audience was fantastic and so the owner I came up the RC like I played this place again anytime thank you so much he said what you know where we are any time we loved it we like you and you're always welcome here and that I don't know if it was my audience for a comedy audience I said to have the show do so it's sold out in the day I mean you know your name I think this is

I said so the only two I recognize these people this is my local comedy crowd they're just they just know you from Sons of Anarchy or whatever so we'll see how you go and it was fine and it turned into like this to our laugh Riot if I mean do is just great it's a super fun show have an opening act hell cuz I torture Minaj's just me I have some professional questions were feel free to edit this out when you're on stage and like you're doing like a big theater like where you're the main guy I like a big Saturday night somewhere how long are you on stage 4 usually an hour and 10 to an hour and 20 minutes 70 to 80 minutes okay I just fascinated I just do my Own Thing 2 hours and 40 minutes since I bring an opening act and how would they do between 20 and 30 and how many openers one you sometimes I bring to as a rare but it's usually just for fun so it's too late to people the most have to do it

40 minutes and then it's like two points something hours it could be 2 hours yet easily yeah but that's the whole night all night and are you ever on your own with nobody never okay so there's always an opener and so that's 20 minutes + 70 to 80 so the whole night is a little less than 2 hours depending upon the show weather now have two shows in a night a short show is an hour and a half which I like a Rock'em sock'em robots hour-and-a-half like a movie you go to a movie that's two and a half hours even if it's really good it's like a lot of sitting last 20 minutes and I really feel the lack of editing but an hour and a half is bang bang bang bang bang tonight and so they get home any tonight to set the night to you do often yeah I'll do 7

depending on the size of the venue you know some places is a giant place will do one show or you know but I've done I've done a lot of especially this last year I did a tattoo shows at night in big theaters and stuff you know clear out all those people and get a new crowd in there I work alone and I don't have a peer group really if I do I'm not trying to find something and I I'm just curious about how other people do their thing I live alone in a tour bus like within a guy and I have no opener accepted Australia there's a really want one for one as so there's this open reviews for years on Australia no gas when I'm there I'll bring American openers with me the last few years I've got the bigger places and my agent said okay you're going to have an opener and I

I've used the sky used as he's done like shows with me for like three tours he's hilarious really Loki's a really nice guy I'm forgetting about you I see the guy every 3 years so it's not in the everybody's great any ski Super Friends will smart have you always loves it but me I think he's kind of known but he's great and you just like that I don't know what 20 minutes whatever it is that I go do my thing but that's it's not in every city in Australia it's like in a couple of places so there's this like some kind of thing Regional rules yeah and it's happened a few times with what I would do music like okay for guys on stage we're going to have a four-person opener like okay man I kind of like that like kids at local band sometime or give the local guy in front of his Hometown Auto in tour with me I love that idea but that's the only time that every once in a while I was at Bonnaroo once and it was tremendously lopsided it was me and Tig Notaro

amazing I don't know her very well but I've seen her on stage and she was kind of like she did exactly open for me but she did like half an hour and I did like an hour it was like they cleared attentive in Cheech Marin came on but at Lewis Black with before Zach 3/10 loads of people in one night at Bonnaroo and that's the only doughnut is everyone so be the festival where you're like the 8 to 9:30 guy and then the 10 guy comes on stage but quite often I'm just on my own on tour and I'm the only thing on stage it's a different thing for me I have two of my friends with me otherwise I get bored like I want like I go on the road like almost everyone I take on the road with me is a national headliner that I would normally be headlining somewhere on their own so cool. I want the best guys that I can find that I paid them well to go on front of me I don't I don't want it to be a bad show by any stretch of the imagination

so I try to get the best guys but also buy that then I'm traveling with the best guys were having fun like it's it's a it's a weird group like stand-ups there's not that many of us is like maybe a thousand of us in the whole country that look real professional comedians me 500 Headliners in the whole country so this is just not that many of us and so when we we relate to each other in such a weird way because not many of you get together especially when they're out socially the route that you had a good time and they can relax and they just look like they've been sucked dry by a vampire that's why I notice when the Obama welcomed the president-elect Trump to the Oval Office that 90 minute meeting at Trump Towers in the last 15 minutes Obama look like Tutankhamun when he just like his looks kid was so drawn across his face like a snare drum

so exhausted and panties Legacy can just any president like George W Bush was to meet a handsome energetic guy when he got into office but eight years in 9/11 and The Invasion occupation of a wreck on the way out his face at Fallen his hair had died and I I guy who hates him just disagrees but the presidency killed that guy that I just think the stress cuz you don't get that thing you said go it went South well I'm very curious to see how Trump comes out of this cuz he's one of the older guys to get in there I think he's 70 or 71 right and in just in the past year like there's a picture of bush for 2000 and 2008 that's crazy ass

photos of Lincoln during the Civil War or Lyndon Johnson in those think-tank meeting him in McNamara his face is sliding off his skull cuz he's getting those phone calls hey we just lost six 600 guys mr. president really sorry to give you this news cuz he insisted on getting the bad phone call and you see what it does to a human being and I noticed it with bush and Obama cuz those were trying times for both presidents was trying a very trying administration's and I wonder what it's going to do to a guy who doesn't take care of himself is carrying a lot of weight probably nowhere near the best diet and I don't I hope that he doesn't have some kind of heart attack for me I'm not the kind of guy who wants people to die easily could but then you look at me like man you need to listen to the White House doctor get on a plan cuz they can really rock you they can help you lose

40 lb by Spring of next year and you can really be feel better you look at him like man there's someone in the White House who can help you with that like you're paid to get you on the track every morning they can get them up at 5 in the morning get them out there and start going to do it is go to watch Fox News something that I agree or disagree with those people on the TV too bad because of president has all those people who are like ready they're already the jogging outfits like a dog wants to go to the park waiting to train him and a dietitian they could rock those calories off of you wants it I don't think he gives a shit we have to probably drinks like 12 Diet Cokes a day that's one of things they were saying that wind that diet we know you were talking about when you do eat are you eating you have a family yeah is it the dinner table eating at home with with the same time is your family is that meal targeted like nutrition for the kids nutrition for Dad

do you guys eat Smart the kids actually eat very healthy yeah we've been eating together really healthy since they were babies that's all they know he's eating vegetables and you know some healthy me they don't go out a lot of wild game cuz I hunt right so they really healthy they have red it's an interesting thing with kids too if you if you Shield them from interesting food like my eight year old loves kimchi she loves like you know it was spicy Korean fermented cabbage which to a lot of kids be disgusting she loves it she eats like fucking plates of it and because of that she rarely gets sick she eats a lot of probiotics and healthy foods that they're always eating fruit and vegetables have been doing it's their little kid we don't stop them from eating candy but I do tell them what candy is and I showed them that sugar documentary and I've talked to them and length about how sugar didn't used to be something that people ate all the time and it's a really recent thing we have showed them photographs of people from like 1808

1900s I did a different diet but now we just eat too many carbohydrates and it's it's fine every now and then like don't keep it for yourself but understand that this these are empty calories and they make your body they actually make you tired I think I've noticed I look at people when I travel I just find our species is fascinating all over the world you look at people's teeth in parts of the world where sugar and corn syrup is not normal and you seem like these 75 year old women like carrying a couch up a hill and their teeth are these bright white tree trunks just like they're never going to fall out of their heads and like no Dentistry no noticeable dentistry in the teeth are gleaming white baby darken from tobacco or tea but nothing like in the west or their teeth are just getting assaulted by our own diet and you see people of great ape

which would like them they're just ripped and you look at what they're eating like fish rice vegetables and it's all liens smart food and if the sugars are all monosaccharides like fruit sugar occasional banana or orange at all but not like we are doing it now. No one's ever done it my way we're doing it and no one's ever been this fat you know and then we have these things to Shield people from we call it fat shaming you know don't tell someone they're fat let them just be morbidly obese and go through life at a massive risk of heart attack and stroke or diabetes don't say anything cuz then you'll hurt their feelings and well you could say something to someone and it might be uncomfortable in the moment hey Mike listen I don't want to be that guy but you gotta lose some weight and then that guy could go and look in the mirror and go fuck I really do need to lose some weight

and then they lose some weight and they'll be healthy and I'll talk to you for 5 months later to go you know you fucked my head up that day and because of that I really started changing the way I eat and I'm so much healthier and I feel better and his your friend my friend Tom Segura Nan Bert Kreischer they did this thing last year will two years ago they did they had a weight loss competition and want to things like they kept doing is fat shaming each other like ruthlessly and they would use hashtag bird is fat hashtag Thomas fat and they had his weight loss competition they fucking both lost a shitload of weight I think they both lost between 50 and 60 pounds yeah and he looked fucking incredible but then after it was over time was like dude let me tell you something fat shaming works it works it got me off my ass I realize I was a fat fuck and it made me lose weight doesn't feel good that shaming thing is you like fat shaming doesn't work on people who aren't fat okay it works on people who have a problem but don't want to dress that problem so you bring up that

problem and then they go oh you're making me feel bad but I think about my problem you're a bad person know you have a weak spot that weak spot shouldn't be there a good shouldn't you shouldn't belaboring constantly really kill someone for being fat but the idea that you're never supposed to bring it up even with someone you care about even in jest or friends bust involving don't know you should bring it up because that that bad feeling is a gift it makes you realize like oh my god I've been remiss I have been paying attention to my own physical sovereignty you know I have control over what goes in my body I have control over the day the amount of calories I take into kind of calories have control over how much body fat I'm carrying around and I there's ways to fix it but I think you should use discretion in line at the supermarket register people you'd like yet but it was funny that do your time he was getting angry so fucking fat shaming works man always be able to say don't fat shame fuck that's how I got skinny

fat shaming works until the work is like their parents will get him hooked on those sugary sodas and once it's the God damn so does man mean that is one of the primary causes for people being fat in this country and just seems so innocuous it's just another class I'll just drink this got some ice cubes no big deal I was down so fast on the weekends I like ginger beer and the bundaberg's it's the same Powers the coke I mean it's a lot of Sugar by 4 pack and I have one bottle of week Saturday night my big drink discipline look at it he's got his drink nothing wrong with the names of the best tasting stuff but man it tastes good for a reason it's so sweet and like you just want the next one when you're done but may

and I could drink them all day but I just can't do that to my system so you want a week that's good discipline but it's like something to look forward to do you have a diet that you follow other than that yeah I mean I love ice cream so I I don't need it I try not to cuz it's I just my body is slow down with age I just can't shed pounds but never laid a weight problem but I've never like oh my God I like lose 30 pounds I just don't my metabolism is such rum always kind of like a greyhound like it was kind of nervous in you're always working as well. Also have always felt like doing something just kind of uptight kind of dirty we talked last time you were brought the fact that your parents had you on Ritalin from the time you need a really small boy who do you think that just like wired you in this way I don't know but I love you I would need a doctor to tell me but it was a it's not a subtle drug session with your little kid but

Trey is clean as I can because more energy less need for sleep and not feeling so bad all the time mentally like not feeling I don't want to do any thanks with a good diet ice I feel better mentally and like I said before I've been struggling with trying to feel okay right not just like death is okay to be here that's all I want and could I found a good diet really really rocks that I feel when I do the bad meal like a depression me like tons of carbs for like a day later on this like a man I'm feeling every bite of that and so I don't want to feel like that sound like nope can't do that cuz it's just not worth it so what kind of food he ate like was a typical meal for you today I had a salad with some chopped up chicken with a low cal

Free dressing on it and a cup of coffee and tonight I'm going to have a glass of carrot juice with a splash of beet juice and probably a cup of a half a cup of coffee the other half of the cup I started the stats for dinner yeah I already have the salad with the chicken is tomorrow tomorrow if I'm feeling like I can't sleep I'm distracted from Hunger I've got some peanuts in my room and also a handful of peanuts e very clean I would like some kind of things because I have found I get great results with it like it is no joke it totally works and I as we do in our line of work I got a lot of stuff coming up a lot of stuff right you know I got TV show a lot of shows a lot of a couple of speeches I got a teaching a class at UCLA what one day coming up

November but Lee teaching dates want me to talk about music and culture and I just got asked to talk about change at another place and I have a bunch of shows coming up from here to Kiev Ukraine and just a lot of marks I got to hit it just what I do and so I'm basically getting ready to walk out of the house until about Christmas and the hitting marks and not screwing up day after day night after night and so diet is a lot goes into that prep big-time well sense if you were if you're demanding that much out of your body really don't want your body struggling with shity nutrition I can't afford it like I like my car can't go off the road I can't fail I'm going to be screwing up like if I hit that set I'm going to be on a TV show soon I can't not know the lines I can't be tired I can't look like I haven't slept I got to be a gay

did you take any vitamins or supplements or anything like that I try and I forget and then they go stay like that I have the five lined up my friend Heidi said okay here here and I got to do it and I eventually they get put in the cupboard in that you looking like off 3 years ago and so that's why I do like the carrot and beet juice just so that those kind of vitamins are coming through when I do that like almost everyday I just like the way it tastes too but no I can't I've never been able to stick with it I just forget to give her anything that you would like talk that give you great benefits I never noticed I've ever noticed is restorative sleep for just general concentration will be the cleaner I eat the better I feel caffeine I don't know if I get jumped up on it I can't tell

and so is as far as anything I've ever done working out is an antidepressant good diet is an antidepressant and makes me a more efficient way when I'm awake other than that like I don't I've never taken cod fish oil or whatever it said wow my joints feel better I've just maybe I'm just I'm not aware enough or I'm not expecting it to work so I have no thing I can hold up to go this this really helped me besides physical fitness getting the work done like you want to alleviate anxiety before an audition rehearse but went prepared and then there's nothing to be worried about cuz you can't wait to show the guy what you got and so preparation good diet and finishing the thing so you can really clear the deck those of the things cuz it for me my whole life is

don't be depressed. I work so hard not to feel bad a lot of what I do is to will not feel really bad it's interesting that you've chosen to do this non-pharmaceutical way like specifically you feel like you've strategies did it I just don't believe that someone I don't know can come up with a drug that's going to work for my unique little mine I've seen people on antidepressants us is so how's that working for you like I think I'm losing my mind I've been doing this for 3 months and I don't know who I am right now okay I have that problem if any Pharmaceuticals to enhance that I'm just basically afraid that it's a legitimate concern yeah I think the brain is real fragile and I'm not one of those types you say all medication is bad I'm not that I just anything having to do with the brain I'd rather just deal with what I got and use these War

color on the ground ideas like I'll just sweat a lot to do a lot of pull-ups and whatever I do all I can to Katonah push up so I get on the stationary bike or whatever I do feel better yeah able to eat the lean fish salad get out the salmon in the spinach I do feel better I feel great and that's that's good enough for me yeah you've got successful strategies they don't work for me yeah you do so many different things at this point of your life do you have like specific goals that you set out for the year are you where you would like to be a year from now or do you just do things that are really interesting to you and just pursue them with passion and just let the chips fall where they may I do that

and I don't have a goal like it at 65 I want to be here I have no idea where I'll be I'm trying to get ready for 2019 I have no plans yet I'm just hoping for a lot of work

I don't have those kind of long-range plans unfortunately I'm a short ranged to know ranged person and a lot of my motivation is Vengeance and I know that revenge and Vengeance are synonyms right however the fact that Revenge has r e in it like you do this I do that vengeance is just like the difference between aggression and hostility you aggro know I'm hostile what does that mean with the ashtray that's hostility you just hit me but I'm not aggressive I just like watching you bleed and it's so

and I'm not saying it makes sense I do and so I don't believe in tit-for-tat I believe in tit-tat watch me just jump up and down and just break it all you want to prove yourself motivation so I wanted to get back at every teacher every guy at school every bad boss who whatever parent Earth to me and like everyday I out everything you mad and that's why I like hey it's 4 in the morning you want to work yet like I'll work in a snowstorm like as you know someone I know like they go on vacation with Gavin I say keishin and every day you're getting tan

I'm not quitting like it's ridiculous it's I'm an 11 year old it's in his room so Juvenile and it's it's not cool but it I love you in some way I don't spray paint your house I'm not I'm not flatten your tire I'm just working and was so cuz I didn't get up early enough and get how to get 5 of those cuz I got up at 3 and I stood outside and I ate this rat tail and I climb the wall I got it and I got two of them and because so you could have done just I'm so mad and I'm not I'm not trying to get somewhere by stepping on you to use your Ladder rung Buu clean to this is not something you ever plan on the abandoned it's the corner I am fighting out of its my true north is like oh yeah yeah it really works it's not like I'm not I would never cheat someone out of something

or steal from them but whoever gets up earlier is going to get it then I just won't sleep tonight my ankle keep me awake what it what are you having for dinner this week and that's all I need but you say I can't like then I'll just sit up all night Two Witches were these people like when you say you say I can't does anybody really say you can this point I'm going to miss all of my caddy boss play can I have this discussion mean I'm walking over to hit somebody I don't know I'm not looking to get beat up I'm just motivating yourself yeah and I don't have a whole bunch of I don't rush I just all I got is me so I got the bomb pops out for sure I'm up in my office so you don't like

at 4 in the morning just like okay I'm on Australian jet lag I'm going to make it work I've been up since 1:30 I'm going to work for 16 hours and I do why cuz I'm a data do I need to write another book probably not much. Yes I must I must put that into the world and so you create these people that are telling you can't do it or brain cells chance the world I make money I never counted the account does I just we talked a few so make sure it's coming in I just say I am I doing anything horribly wrong and she'll say it will from your receipts it doesn't look like you eat very much but you sure seem to like records are you eating those but past that I just booked it put me in there like she was fine she was going to five more so I don't really count I want to do well I want to pay my bills and I don't want to lose my house I want to keep eating and feeling the car with gasoline

going to the grocery store but I'm not just trying to say I got a lot of money I can hang around I got some money in excuse me I really got to go we still drive that boring Car Mazda 6 silkies get me from a to be yes you're getting this car that I ate the other car I had they took from me they the powers-that-be I was the voice of Infiniti car for about 5 years and they give you a new car every year and that's a good car real nice that's great, I love those big Q truck so cute with whatever they are the great yep and it's the car of the future and when the contract finally came to an end they said okay will come and get the card is a perfect example Joe will come and get the car in 30 days I want no come and get it tomorrow morning screw you screw your car

and I see the Heidi cuz she's the brains I said I need a new car fuse you're getting a Mazda 6 it's going to be blue and I'm picking the interior get in my car and why did you leave me any more still want me anymore

as we went to we went to the lot and two hours later I parked the Mazda 6 next to the infinity that got taken while I was on the set of the TV show the next morning and I drove my new car to the set and I wish it compared to the infinity it's a different kind of ride cuz you view floor in the gerbils look in the sunflower seeds fall out every other car passes you know

and I yeah you get used to a nice ride but it's some that then that was that she said that he will take a couple of his new car right now that's my question. A.m. tomorrow morning really nice car you work really hard and take any compensation or do you like happiness is derived from a buying something I have no I have a really good serious we talked about it and to the chill Rogan podcast utilitarian life like in LA when I'm off the road I watch the phone I use the watch on my travel just like it it's like see the time see the time but when I'm off the road I just use the the phone it's just laziness

I eat I live very utilitarian here cuz basically I'm just counting down the days before I leave again because a lot of my work happens out in the world location like a film or TV show or just touring or traveling last year how do you set something funny cuz you're driving me crazy at the office like pacing in the huffing and puffing like a wild animal she said I'm going to book you a trip and you can't know where you're going to the day you leave I'm just going to get you out of here for 10 days for life you're driving me crazy I will kill you so I should book it and so I said all use the right electrical plug in the basic temperature range so I know how to pack she gave it to me and I pick the itinerary up got in the car to go to the airport this nice lady takes me to the airport she was born today hun I said let's see where the boss is sending me I said I'm going to Lima Peru

that's why I was in Lima to Cusco for a week working on my book manuscript and walking the streets up in the Peruvian Andes up in Cusco and so I a lot of my life happens out in the world so when I'm here I'm just editing and prepping to get out of here and so a car low maintenance close low maintenance inconspicuous yeah I ain't trying to try and text you have anything on the shirt I'd love to have a listen to Black Sabbath t-shirt on I'd wear that one every day I love that shirt but I'm always trying to slip through crowds and just head down there just like clothes that say you have a very interesting philosophy and like I said your work ethic and your fault it's very inspiring cuz they did makes me want to work more it really does want to talk to you and I listen to. Get plenty done sir that's one of the reasons why I do is because I get inspired by people like me so I get inspired by you and other people I love getting and Spa

I live fairly solitary life but I have a lot of Heroes I'm a fan of bands and people I just I did presidents and and other people in other countries I go to see bands play and they don't know but I've all the records I have the the the bootlegs I'm just over fan of so many people like a fraction my age because I need that I need to be pumped up by other people in it works you put on someone's record right yeah man that's great at least 19 what does he know play the guitar better than I've ever come in all kinds of ways I need people amazing people when I travel so I need that in the only thing good about me and my opinion is what I do

but don't be my friend I am no good I'll help you move your house I'll help you move or paint your house but I don't want to come to Thanksgiving dinner I really don't but if you're in trouble I'll drive from here to Ohio to get you out of the trouble I'm so happy to bail you out of the champ must don't want to come over for dinner I don't want to come over for the holidays and I bless your William Shatner

so what's good about me when people I would love to hang out with you like no just your books are interesting fact you let me go write him that's the only the one I'm on stage. The books of the radio show I do in case you're W that's my human greatest hits the rest of my life I'm just a nervous wreck trying to get somewhere on time and kick ass and so

I I travel for months at a time with Road manager Ward my road manager many years a top guy fantastic guy

there's hours at go by where we don't talk he's got a life I have a life and we sit on the bus and hours go by and there's no sound except the TV when I was in my spine

my the what's good about me is what you see on stage on the page when I do my little radio show the rest of it I'm not good friend material but I will help your ass out of a champ like hey I'm in Long Beach can you come bail me out of jail at 3 in the morning I'm so ready to do that for you like that's a very unusual choir what it is how do you find I don't know but that doesn't bug me at all I'm just happy to have kind of be the Dog with a Blog the bottle of Terrell yeah we're going up the hill cuz I'm so happy to get you out of a jam just a come and meet the family please don't make me meet your family

how did you meet Joey how'd you meet Joey Diaz I think Heidi set that up you never met him before he didn't show is via Heidi fire you I knew who he was and he's a really lovable guy as soon as I met him I like them just by seeing them online but when I met him I there's nothing not to like you so honest he's full Full Exposure like who he is you get it in 60 seconds and like you know there's The Good The Bad of anybody he lets you know who he is in the first 5 minutes and you can take her leave it yeah but there's no ambiguity and I really like being around that because you can be yourself because he is Sho'nuff he's not holding back that's a really good way of looking at you can be yourself cuz he is being himself

he's not going to judge you on that is going to give you the free he's going to be himself but give you also the freedom to be yourself unlimited I mean it was we we spoke for a while on his podcast had a great time he's one of those guys if he called me at 3 in the morning hey I'm in trouble I'm in San Diego I want hold on give me three hours I mean I'll help you. Come and meet the family please

specific specific I don't want to come over but I don't bullshit small talk and you got things to do and you're obsessed but I'm not but I'm trying to get across as I'm not mean-spirited I'm just so hard to help just a little awkward misses the fuel it's like we were talking about about having imposter syndrome that I don't think it ever goes away I thought one day I would have done it would go away more comfortable meeting famous people now that I've ever been before but I still feel full of shit I think you're always will and everybody that ever talk to this any good they all say the same thing I got all kind of feel like no one ever feels like there anything special and you always like if they're any good they don't know and you always ruthlessly self-critical big rockstars and the big rockstars like one big rock star one

what time is it in I hope it is it is there anyone out there I said like 19,000 people you smell the WD-40 are you kidding so I'm always worried that no one's going to show up I said when was that ever been your problem he said we'll never but who is this

yeah who's this one of my favorite people he says he's another guy he's a weird-looking some Floridian megadon get really depressed okay and you don't want like I did The Beacon Theater once many years ago New York beautiful room love that place I wish I was a few days later I was at MTV doing something with like Matt pinfield or somebody I was living in New York and I'm leaving in the courtesy lady she said hey George Carlin is in the green room and he wants to meet you I want wait a minute dumb question the George Carlin cuz I've been listening to that guy since I was in 8th grade class

clone an occupation foole actually came out for me to go to the record store they were not nice price records They are what was on as how old I am memorized by 8th grade of course and I said George I want to meet me okay walk in and there's George Carlin he's there to promote his next HBO thing and he's going to do like like multiple nights at the Beacon Theater place I would never sell out who's going to do a month or whatever he's a damn I said missed your calls I live like a half an hour and finally I got so cold I went home I said you waited in line to meet me is like yeah like why don't you just walk it like I can't do that man and she said so you just work the beacon I said yeah it was amazing he said did they get the jokes

I said that. That's not really what I do I said I'm sorry what do you mean you guess I can you get to the audience on that stage I said it's actually a pretty big place a lot of feet before the first row I said yes I said George George Carlin I think you're going to do okay but he was sincerely wondering like is it going to be okay in there I'm like are you kidding you were handcuffed with Lenny Bruce in the back of a cop car and you're asking me if it's going to be okay to book any Bruce I got that book it's a pretty Read Me 2 years ago was the 1st Amendment was not being used and Lenny Bruce's life towards the end of his life and that was his every stand-up thing he did was about the law towards the end and use it

George said something and they're waiting to pounce on him and then they went through the crowd id id id and they handcuff them together so I know I met him before but you said like we were literally one pair of handcuffs together just like the book but I thought that's what you said that's not how we met I said so how'd you guys meet you said Lenny Bruce was very sympathetic to Young Comics to what we would do is like he said give me your best 5 minutes and you would critique us why is he trying to take your Mattress Mart stocks do more of that and that first part put it last you would like help cuz he said he was great with all the young, cuz he said like give me your stuff okay here's how you redo it make it better I said so you had no nap before you said yeah I said cuz you don't Lenny Bruce to me is a real get my hero and inspiration bought back and I walked out of there until I get all the freezing

Yo East New York to take the enter the are back down to the East Village like I put the fact that she was this guy with the point I'm making is Stone Cold Pro anywhere where I sell out half the tickets he does 20 nights there you'll never get out of that shadow and even he is saying hey I have a question and here's what I found with all of your big actress in big the ones the ones I work with they are obedient to the Mews they work for the art they are so subservient to the job it's not about hey I'm rich I'm popular so damn it I got to make the script come to life and they figure it like someone on their first job and there might have been a middle. Like in the seventies they had their idiot face for 3 years and they kind of went sideways but man the will the big actors I've worked with her just so I can okay this take is everything and it's a good lesson you like okay never lose that

is that you have when you're young and you're coming up and you starting to show promise and somewhere along the line it seems like some people getting to this mindset that they deserve it and when they deserve it it's a terrible thing that happens to comedians for something to happen so they can't relate to people anymore and they stop being relevant by George waiting in line to see you outside in the cold shows that he never really got that place that that bad place and he was probably the most prolific stand-up of all time cuz I never stopped fresh HBO hour every year every year he would just sit down he would write it all he would write it all out and then he would just kind of fine tune it sort of like you were saying you do nude fine tune it and performance have to Performance and then put on HBO and then start work on the next one and then just crank them out yeah I was told by someone who had him at his venue in Northern California he just sits in front of the mirror before the show does the whole show at high priest

eating a low voice while I was just on the TV show the actress is one of the actors ideas a okay everyone in my trailer we did the whole show at hyperspeed in the low voiced standing in a huddle it was really cool cuz yours like in each others face when I don't know how that's funny okay we got it out there did it is like life in front of a TV out is like I've never done that before he was really cool and apparently that's how George preps plus I don't know anybody else who does that most people don't even look at themselves they don't stand in front of a mirror they just come look at myself but I do one thing that actually works I pace and I I I I quote Lincoln speeches is a centering exercise specialist speech for my lack of January 19th 1838 give me some it's a famous speech

he said what are you talking about will America ever be taken over by anywhere else he said no the only way America's going to Falls from within so he said I should we fear some transatlantic giant to cross the ocean and precious to the blow never all that the country of Asia or Europe and Africa with their War chests combined ours with a person of the world Auburn accepted Bonaparte is a commander could not in a trial of a thousand years so much as take a sip from the Ohio River or lay at red on the on the on the Blue Ridge Mountains if suicide if destruction we are lost we we must either live through all the time or die by Suicide and I just take chunks of that speak cuz it's so he's like 28 29 years of age is so eloquent a sentence of Lincoln is worth 10 of anyone else's it's all online for free but go to the it's called the speech to the young men's lyceum of the perpetuation of our government Institution

it's like 3,200 words and it's it'll be the best thing you read this week is a centering exercise I don't know I just getting the Lincoln framework double bastard I was in the Vault of the Lincoln Museum in Springfield a few years ago they let me in and they pull it out of one of his beaver skin top hats and they they let me touch of course I didn't try without the gloves pulls it out and do you notice an indentation on the right side of the brim I said yeah cuz what do you think that is I said let me guess there's there's one on top and two underneath I looked in there was I said that's him Doffing his cap his hat over and over again which will wears out the beaver skin he said yeah how do you think he wore. I said he's a politician and a lawyer so he's trying to get everyone's vote and when so he's like the morning I have an office in the running for office

and that's fine but what was the outside of it and it's the same as hats you saw in the Lincoln Museum they have one in the fault and literally he wore out the hard way but I use Lincoln and amendments from the Constitution the 14th is this is it's in like for parts or five parts of the top parts for We the People the Restless legalese and I'll do that after the Fourth Amendment to the Privacy one that's a great one it's not completely in the front of my brain pan. Copy of the Constitution with me whenever I travel and I open it like people open the Bible and I'll just pick an amendment and read it really yeah and I have one of those the Constitution for idiot books were like lawyers right about here's what it was brought in the law here's why here's what it means in layman terms and it's never not interesting to read

it's the Constitution's great it is faster than we think this is an experiment self-government that these people from 300 years ago put together they kind of are God's to me in that they couldn't see the future maybe they couldn't see the AR-15 but Jefferson and Company definitely saw how easily corruptible humans are a little bit of power we can get a little crazy at American democracy is really all about the checks you like you you're you're a badass but you're not a bad asses Congress Congress is going to check we're seeing that with Trump I mean it would Trump essentially seeing the reason why all these checks and balances were put in place in the first place because a president comes from We the People it can be you or me potentially and I think the framers really saw that like it should be from the people so we got to put this person in checks because he might be

a failed businessman bad reality show actor who doesn't understand I have to read 1500 pages of stuff this weekend and have 5 lawyers advised me know golfer fun for me I'm the president and a lot of presents do understand before they go in like for this job can be boring and a lot of people can be mad and in my lifetime we finally have a president who really is people who says he looks it like you don't hear State folders of stuff to read Mike I don't think so give me the cliff notes like I'll play it from the hip like I'm going to watch Fox & Friends you tell me what I need to know it's not for me to sit and rip on the guy cuz he's not here to defend himself but never in my life have I ever watched an American president thought to myself I could have done better in that situation

is this President I've had nothing but disagree with but they were way better for the job than I ever could be I look at this guy and black man you just got played and

there's something about what I knew I was going to be talking to you there's a thing I was thinking about you like I said I heard you speak many years ago about these politicians are gangster you say like okay what that guy did that's Gangsta and what this guy just did straight up Gangster does during the Bush Administration you were just I think it was like Halliburton all these people in the world that's a Gangsta Boo that's a gangster movie Mike I can't disagree with anything he just said and on that kind of level I think what I never hear is that Donald Trump is a guy who gets consistently played

Roll. Roll by his wife who a woman have nothing against but she comes from a really tough part of the world Slovenia that's just a rough patch real estate she's smart she's tough and she got about got to America well he's not much on looks but it's a way in from the storm so he got played by his wife he got played by Paul manafort he got played by Kim Jeong Hoon Ki got played like Jimi Hendrix at Monterey that that particular Stratocaster by Vladimir Putin and gets played like Rachmaninoff single day and anyone he does high-stakes business with me to go see a shins he gets played played in and manafort's use them to try and get out get out of debt and all these other people they just roll all over him and unfortunately his Huber

is such as like haha like no dude you just got blown out and like everyone around you is playing you we probably doesn't feel that way with manifold because manafort's on trial and he's not yet right but manafort play them cuz man for it really does play in that world of oligarchs and millions of dollars in wondering money if he wrote a book I was telling someone the other day as of all these people he should write the book cuz it would be a page-turner if you told the truth would get him killed he touched the wrong door knob and he get the poison because I can't have him tell him what he knows he's a a man that he probably will go to prison watch him have some kind of strange accident like he was liquefied in the shower something about the water because he knows a lot and there's a lot of people who can pay a lot of money to keep his mouth shut when you know it's fascinating to me is that over the last year too especially from the

Fox crew you're seeing Vladimir Putin admired very strange that I never thought we would see that I was watching something a couple of years ago a year ago and I was like some guy well he's a good Christian man and he believes in family and like he's the Butcher of chechnya let's flash back to the 1960s I'm a young boy on the weekend visit with my father to the right of my father is a wall there's nothing to the right of my father just nothing and if he still with us he'd be in his 90s and hard as a rock just like nothing is a bar of Hickory anyway she's an economist guy and PhD real smart I'm coming home to my mom's apartment from this Saturday Sunday visit with Dad when will Washington DC area I'm a little boy 5 years old somewhere around there very small Economist and communist

I don't know what either of them are arguably to a five-year-old kind of sounds the same I'm in the big Buick station wagon to my father's right pulling up to Mom's apartment Henry dad are you a communist

I don't think my father's facial expression changed his right hand came off the wheel and his backhand collided with my head it was just like I hear the word Tommy Boy gets smacked and it was without hatred or violence it was like natural security he didn't even know he did it was like a sneeze and it hurts so much my head went numb and it was not even the pain it was like the shock of a your dad whacking you it with you had no idea what you did and all I could do was hyperventilate and he opened the door and he let me out he didn't say a word didn't tell you that there's a difference between a communist and an economy sir so I left feeling like for like clothes like 33 cuz it's so destabilizing like your dad has walupt you and I

the elevator I go to the apartment till 2 years ago it was totally under that she said honey what happened like okay LOL the point of making is this there's a bunch of people who voted for Trump were you say Russia they say but a bunch of sons of bitches trust him as far as you can throw your car are you kidding and when I see staunch conservative Republicans going well that guy Mike are you kidding

people like my dad's heads are exploding he's an old Cold War guy we would wash Boris and Natasha whatever that cartoon was as old as a kid I'm laughing cuz the guy was at my dad's laughing on a whole other level cuz it's cold war funnies it's was written for the parents the cartoon the parents got the jokes that was for adults what would their kids on Saturday you watch them later on like all this is Cold War humor I wouldn't have known that's my dad's world you say Russia he probably hate my guts cuz I've been there 6 times for shows did you take the Trans-Siberian Express and so this warming up to a guy who is a true bad guy he's scary those bodies buried cuz of him he's one of the scariest rides on the planet in capably violent and we'll have you taken out I mean like an applique off Sky one of the greatest journalist of our time

she was critical of Putin and she got assassinated in her apartment building her books are great her books from chechnya are amazing and he was she was critical of him and she had to go and when you see our present cozying up to the sky I just want to go bro let's talk like let's take a walk in the garden for 20 minutes you can't be friends with this guy my theory is he there there there some kind of finances we just got to stick up for him I don't think it's a tape of people urinating on anyone I think it's ever going to kaleisia interesting it's a money thing Hotel deal it's money sitting in Cypress at something but the fact that were beat becoming okay with this guy

that is the part that bugs me the most and a white people in Congress or Kelly Sean Hannity who like probably likes communist as much as my dad even me I don't trust people like that who does a criminal should be in jail for a million billion years and the fact like hey he's like when he said he's a human being we can talk because she sick ex-kgb guy and there's no such thing as next and what he does is he key roles people like you dude and like I said you are a guppy he's a shark like two guys hanging out don't one guy getting played and one guy playing someone think he admires the fact that Putin's able to run his country the way does to yes and that's why he looks and I've been to a strong head

Countryside in Philippines up in the North Korea they're tough places to live and like you don't want your country looking like those places you don't want America to be like Russia the economy is destroyed and there's a lot of people like in the winter time it's really tough how do you think the city is out using he goes to jail no no I don't believe in karma karma here's my two words that disprove Karma Dick Cheney new heart and a new heart he has no pulse which is perfectly is got a pulse now with the new heart machine you wish which is perfect for him yeah and so chill ever go to jail and and like how many millions does he make a year just from his dividends from whatever like who knows what you do that kind of money or I don't know what you do with it and so I don't think he goes to jail

Jared Kushner goes to jail I think it most they leave like maybe next year and they got I drain the swamp I did when I came here to do and the fake news media brought me down and all his people buy one of everything he makes forever steak vodka I think it's possible that Donald Trump jr. Goes to Jail it's very possible the talking about perjury charges against him now because his own dad admitted on Twitter following except as usual I just don't think white colored eyes go to prison for stuff I just don't believe it I just don't believe it I want to be proven wrong but I don't have all the facts I know I'm a news Watcher I know nothing I don't get any classified breached so I only know what I read and what I hear talk about any of this stuff in your stage act a little bit but knowing my audience they're very sharp and they read the readers and they don't need me repeating what they know her to know so we're good for you for that if I make a point as my dad used to say you want to

or hit them where they ain't the baseball idea and so if I can make a point like if I was on stage tonight talking about Trump I would roll out that idea of trump is a guy who's been played by so many people around him and no one talks about his wife playing him like there's no love in that marriage I don't think she saw a way out came to New York and when that guy gets naked with the toad a few nights a month handful of a handful of Prozac some Stoli and a credit card and a seven-figure expense account you can take a shower and make it go away so I think and I think he kind of knows that you know she was not like wow what a hot guy she's okay and this happens a lot in this town you'll see that the other couple you okay right Harvey Weinstein before his first wife left him Harvey Weinstein's wife is beautiful

will be at but you see that a lot in this town where you see the the old weird dude will like the the eight year old girlfriend like oh yeah that's it that's a setup that's an agency that's an agreement someone's getting a salary or an implied you know it's it's so there's some kind of quid pro quo there's a credit card off as an expense account or they're just like a big fist full of hundreds and just let me chew on you for the next four weeks whatever the new agreement is Ryan and I so if I was going to say anything about Donald Trump on stage would be too sucks and I never talked about any problem on stage and I learned this from of all people President Clinton as soon as later speeches post-presidency I'm not a huge fan of some speeches in the UK a few years going to happen to be in England when he was there and I watch them on TV the last part of the series the last 10 minutes of the here's a problem here three solutions she was another problem here three solutions

60 million dollars we could put internet through this thing or we could open this Waterway or we can reconfigure this Workforce to upgrade so everyone can get a paycheck his head logical ways forward so what I took from that is to my audience don't propose a problem full he sucks thanks goodnight don't give him a gordian knot unless you actually is not a gordian knot just three ways to get out of this Burning wreckage and so when Trump became elected it was always on to her I was doing a bunch of nights in LA and I said okay you have a new president and some of you are depressed I should I know and so gay people are on the endangered species list as if they've never been brown people black people women people people with ovaries these are all on the you're screwed list so instead of being coming to press a no no let's we get up and start doing more benefits now all your words matter your actions matter

how you stick up for your LGBT friends really matters now how you stick up for women how you stick up for racial equality equality in the workplace like how you check yourself when you rule Avery with other people words matter actions matter more than ever and so to me this is an exciting time to show how great you can be cuz now it's all on the line the fattest off the land we're being tested I love a test so let's get it on it's like in your line of work when the guy goes here we go that's how I saw it like okay let's ride let's get the money to the ACLU let's get some money to Planned Parenthood let's get a conversation going about child suicide intimidation to Facebook let's start making things better cuz this guy is not our Ally

governments not necessarily going to help at its best it's inactive at its worst it's divisive and predatory so let's be the antidote by being cool by not throw rocks at windows are like you getting it out of the tiki torches beating him up. You're never going to convince that guy that he's wrong so get to the people you agree with and let's start sticking together more and raising more money and get some more interesting people in office and let's get some young people in office and I think that's what's happening but you're seeing all these young people like there's a bunch of kids who died at a high school in Florida but look what happened look at all those kids hitting the streets will go these kids who threw cell phones and selfies and Instagram and Snapchat they're already ready for Primetime you see these high school juniors in front of a CNN camera going to high school next year I'm going to vote and he

that's a future Senator you just that school shooting just birthed a voting demographic are you kidding all those kids are going to vote all of them all those kids who marched this gabino Millennial apathy with those kids are all going to vote I kind of an idea what side they're going to vote with and if you think you're going to sell those kids on their grandfather's drunken homophobia racism in its overall bigotry and xenophobia you're wrong he never had a password I don't need to travel out of want to meet some damn Mexican trust me the kids going to travel he's going to go to India she's going to go to Columbia and meet other people and get it more Global sense of the world sense of water food energy where it comes from what happens with money what happens with mediocrity the danger of it so I think we're in for some tough times but I think they're going to lead to good times and so that's what if I get political on stage all I say is like he was five ways forward

because the despair part you like you need me to tell you you watch the news so don't get down in the mouth start burning more calories and that and that's

not my job but I would never wait in on stage any other way about that stuff cuz all I would be as obvious and my audience is pretty sharp and they don't need to be told twice

outstanding thank you sir well said I couldn't agree more Friday night Showtime August 10th Henry motherfuking Rollins keep talking keep talking about I'll keep talking about thank you sir thank you sir I really appreciate it

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