#1265 - Andrew Schulz

The Joe Rogan Experience #1265 - Andrew Schulz

March 14, 2019

Andrew Schulz is a stand up comedian known for his work on Guy Code, The Brilliant Idiots podcast and the Amazon original series "Sneaky Pete." https://www.youtube.com/theandrewschulz

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ladies and gentlemen welcome to the show who has ever doing this as easy as fuck cuz it's for something I use all the time if you see my Instagram and you see me cooking you see me cooking elk especially or steak cook a beef steak when I cook almost always I cook on a Traeger grill they are in my opinion they make the very best pellet grill someone who's bought all kinds of pellet grills regular grills I've been cooking for a long time under all sorts of different circumstances and when you cook wild game in particular you want to have something that's very temperature controlled you want to really make sure they don't dry food out a cooking the perfect temperature Traeger uses wood pellets and I do never use a pellet grill before

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therap is they have a beautiful app that not only does it work and synchronize with your pellet grill tells you the temperature of the grill at you have a probe and mine I have a color I think it's called Timberline you tell you which one I have but they have new ones that are coming out this weekend and it tells you what temperature your food is cuz it's got an inside that probe it it do you know it sticks into the meat and you just look at your phone you can also with your phone using the application you can raise or lower the temperature of the grill

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they're super super insulated so I have the Timberline 1300 that's what I have it's the shit they have a bunch of different ones they even have a very small one called the ranger that you can put in the back of a car they are really tiny one called the Scout never leave your wood file Wood-Fired flavor behind you don't let me just explain this to really easily get some they take sawdust from seeing if you were they were making furniture or something like that was like oak or cherry or something like that and they take that sawdust and they compress it and threw the natural sugars in the would hold the form of this palette they take these pallets they sound to you pour the pallets into this Hopper and they get fed into this drive that goes to a heating element and it just using fire using heat and and would your cooking but you're you're doing it

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so easily that you can smoke you can Grill you can bake you can roast you can braids get barbecue there the shit I'm telling you they're my favorite way to cook even if the I've been talkin about them before they were sponsor they have over 100,000 hours of tests cooking to get to the moment they're releasing this new grill on March 15th what is today the 14th tomorrow we got a new girl coming out tomorrow find a dealer or shop now at traegergrills.com/Joe that's TraegerGrills.Comtraegergrills.com/Joe again I've been using these forever long before there ever a sponsor I really really love them it makes me sad super easy

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keep it sweet keep it short sweet this my guest today is a hot up-and-coming stand-up comic I've been hearing about this guy for a while now only great things and I got to meet him recently I love him he's awesome give it up for Andrew Schulz

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The Joe Rogan Experience

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I'm good how are you I'm good man what's up killing man thanks for having me thanks for being here yes suck it suck it about a million fucking comedians today is more comedians now than ever end

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a lot of these companies are overwhelmed you have no room for all these up-and-coming guys are coming up yeah you know some some guys like you are really good and how do you how do you get your shit out there well just put it out there on YouTube Zach Lee that everybody just a thing so I didn't have a choice with a lot of people this happen in the Bryan Callen right now is right yeah it is nothing but he's releasing it on iTunes but I wasn't really inviting to me in from the beginning so a couple years ago I fill my own and special I did it in New York and I did five clubs and I did a cab ride in between and the idea was our if you don't fuk with me at least you can appreciate your diss part of stand-up that is being a New York guy

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like if you love the game at least we'll take a look at this and maybe support this and she said no and I had a show with them and I just believe in the project so I cut like a 15-minute version but I'll tell you I did it because you can learn everything you would need about stand-up from asking people who don't do stand-up

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really yeah like I asked all my friends and just people like me to be like we watching you know these days and you know they say the names we all know and then they'll always say that they be like everybody said that right and I was like all right so it's too long so I cut it down to 15. Like a 15-minute version of the special two for clubs and I just put it right on YouTube and it was weird I like sold out shows that we can have San Diego and I was never sell out guy and I have a few guys come out from the podcast I do not mess up it was never like a like a shell out and I did a show in like Columbus Ohio you know that the was at the Funny Bone out there a great club and I think we tickets and I was like what the fuck is happening like I was never not in Ohio do you know and like people are coming out in like I like to think I was like oh shit maybe people are watching this and I start to feel like sit back for a second

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watching that maybe it's short notice I got to suck it you know what I'm going to do I'm going to put a joke out a week for a year and I got another 45 minutes left of the special and I can probably produce some more stand-up I'll just put a joke about a week there was this singer who is doing that in like he just put a song out a week his name is Russ and I was like all right that's he's a worker I can I can at least control that I cannot work somebody so I'll do that and put the truck after we can like the jokes are to go and like someone would go viral knows I kill this is crazy and people come out the shower and then my YouTube guy hits me something weird is happening I go to stop and he goes

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when people watch a clip to watch for 2 hours ago you mean like they'll just get lost in a wormhole and I go so wait a minute so people aren't watching an hour of stand-up

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the Network's is too long for the watch in 2 hours of mine I'm like what the fuc would that happen and we figured out that it was you made the choice

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when you are in control your destiny right you invest as much time as you want is hitting snooze on the alarm clock 30 minute I won't set my alarm clock for an hour later responsible but I'll snooze snooze snooze when people make their own fucking Choice it was like it was just crazy to see what happened man it's also the platform to platform me people on their phones Netflix told me that half the people that watch my special watch on a follower absolutes of people are watching phones they're there you're on that goddamn all day long and it's way easier to flip a channel two ways you just get that remote in your anyway we should know what's right

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yeah hundred percent so that contributes to a lot of views but people love fucking YouTube family that YouTube Never Ends you could be on it for the rest of your life and not put a dent in the contents I mean it to space especially if you have like me I got a lot of weird interest like you look at like what it suggests for me that it's like shit on a cosmos muscle cars professional pool matches MMA never leave my fucking house just sit with my phone plugged in the wall and just on my break every suggestion suggestion should I was like oh my God that's a dick that's a game-changer and then the next video just automatically plays

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sounds like you know what the special your fate your your maybe the best joke that you have on your special to someone else is 33 minutes in so that guy's got to wait 33 minutes YouTube on YouTube Umbrella you know you was an access point here let's say six different access points it's six different pieces so it's a different access point ever since I'm some people might come for a trump joke some people might come for a tranny joke it doesn't matter so

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it's not the situation where you have to go okay maybe I hit 37 minutes in this bit that I love know you're going to get that done right away and then you're going to go back to the beginning and go, watch this all the way through for me I didn't have anything I just stole it from Music musician I'd like that if you thinking about marketing yes complete complete like different places with stamp right like you're one of the most famous people in the world right so you don't need to find new people to see you people are going to watch her stand up because they're all right I have an intimate relationship with this guy listen to empty hours a week and I just want to see his stand-up right I'm still in marketing how can I get new people to see me specials. Louis

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that's it

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everybody else should be an acquisition phase why I don't know about that man and I don't I don't think that way I never worry about what other people are doing I just don't think about it and then to all I concentrate on is doing my best shirt that's it and once I got to a point where I was successful enough where I didn't have to worry about money it was a huge relief and honestly I said I think I started doing my best work because then I wasn't thinking I didn't have any resources that were dialed into how do I promote this and how do I get back on all my resources like this pic need some more I got to figure out how to really sell that or not I got to put maybe if I was switching it around so it's all about alchemy how long do is like starring in the lab trying to make ghost love creating those thoughts on marketing now

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some people know that like like these people who blow up with stand up and never do it again and all you're thinking about is how do I make this toe knuckle hair I stopped Desiring things I couldn't control right like I realized I don't care about a special on HBO or Netflix I just wanted people to see it and if they see it in 10 people see if that's cool because I just love making it and if a million people see it that's all so cool but if anybody sees his gratitude Philip I'm sure you get people asking to be on the show and all that shit on all the time and like I just kind of trying to take themselves like a little

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every rich person goes money doesn't make you happy and every poor person is like man when I'm rich I'm be happy I feel like it's like that like I needed to get a certain amount of success for me to realize I just love making these things

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everybody does it's like everybody does and if you don't if you don't mean you're you're either blessed or stupid like one of those things it's it's either this guy this is pure or a woman is pure right from the job I need to see this all about creating but it's really just about me and I was talking to shop about it. To Brandon that we were at The Comedy Store is killing killing the most fun I don't understand how people could quit this I do if they said you could only do want to but everything else is one supposed to be doing you can't fake it right Cafe, everything else you can't say the same fucking conversation

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cameras know exactly how we just chilling in the main room Green Room With The Comedy Store probably have the same conversation is a Precision art form that requires calculation and also zen-like smoothness and alphaflow you got to be in the zone you'll be in that flow State you got to be happy just got to be focused to be having a good time concentrating on these people and and projecting to them and you want them to have a good time. The whole deal is one of the best things about this job as you're making people feel good yes they're coming out of their house to see you and they come out of their feeling better to have a good time if everything goes right I love my mom my mom said he's asking things like you're very lucky you get to make people feel good for a living job

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shall I tell people they can't get their bills paid from their car accident cuz it was their fault one of those big tobacco guy where's the lighter let me play Among the Stars is bullfighting and I hated that cuz I used to box a little bit and like I never at all felt that it was similar like a boxer go get his just like stand-up it is like a martial art in that the truth is what works

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I go on that because in martial arts if you like the end of it was particularly in martial arts not just inboxing but it boxing is martial art but the only stuff that works in the stuff that works if you hit a guy and he goes unconscious it doesn't matter what are things that I used to like about fighting was that everybody can hate me and I didn't care I didn't care because when I got in there I'm like I knew that I was going to fuck that guy up it doesn't matter what his friends think doesn't matter how his parents cheer I'm going to kick his conscious and there's nothing you can hate me all day long it doesn't matter but then I had to switch gears 100% in a comment and I thought they were so different and then I realized because in, do you have to get the people to like you if you can't just have these ideas and Beyond likeable you get them to respect you like you have to be

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like there's like the late great Brody Stevens to just pass out if you paid Brody's material on paper some of it wasn't funny and when you looked at it and realize it was some of my best material that I ever saw anybody do baby cuz Brody's personality was so likeable he was so funny on stage that you just wanted to laugh at him it just heat he figured out that it's you and when I was starting out I didn't have that I couldn't I didn't I had a hard time making that switched then once I get better at least I got better at stand up I realized it's so similar because either it's funny it's not funny either it works or doesn't work and your job is not like some Comics get they get caught up in their image they get caught up in how they want the audience to think of them when they dress a certain way on purpose because they want to project this image don't know even say things on stage that are kind of grossed that there are the only saying it because they want

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what is the think they're cool right and it gives a little like you but maybe they're good enough so that you see all right never notices next it feels like they're reading jokes off a pay-per-ride our bodies are keyed into like commies reptilian if you do it right you don't like old women can laugh at the same jokes that I'm telling it like these young people can laugh at his jokes about how you want the world to be I'm telling you jokes about how you deep down via is going at your gut reptile shed so it's like if it's in here

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you're going to laugh about how old you are this is how you feel and how to not be himself he's he's like or like he's like what is he what kind of show is what if someone was authentic 24 hours a day 24 hours a day best form that in like there's something beautiful that but that's why I always use a bullfighter analogy it's like the bull for me

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is the premise it's not the crowd the crowd is still the crowd it's like how close can I get to this dangerous premise and dance with it I wanted to put his nose up against my nose and then I want to skewer it but before I want to fucking do that shit when I click my heels and I go to the locate and I want to entertain a fuck out of the crowd is dangerous I think we're in this weird time. You know there's an ebb and flow to Comedy and right now it's the weirdest AB cuz right now you have

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this weird comedy. It's people are saying things that they want the crowd to hear rather than saying things that are funny the saying things to hit all these check points of progressive thinking as a cyst white male I believe I don't say that but it's not really a special to have a fuse from the sis it's a play at the Drake album called views from the 6 but the idea is just like you know what the world needs authenticity for Trans person or at the authenticity from a straight guy the world needs someone to go out there and and say what the fuck they really think and have a well measure take on things and that's what I see you're doing what you're doing is you're you're you're expressing yourself and the great thing about

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I said not going to tell you hey Andrew we really like you but tranny we can't have Trent you can't say that on our Network then how come you can say cabbie but you can't say tramp grandmother it's kind of cute broke it we do it out of love if we shorten something and added why it's affectionate sort of Jami talkingshit to someone to call him shorty he fucking shorty ready that's longer

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shorty is longer

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chaps what about it that's not good Japanese cute like Jewish American princess whale watching these well it's bad because that's how the soldiers used to talk about it when people talk about him during World War II when they were at war with him was like you know was one of the most refined cultures and delicious Cuisine that I've ever experienced

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I'm supposed to be dancing

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I was talking to this is a trans chick that got upset at the joke and she was like you know she basically said to me she's like you probably wouldn't like it too if as you were walking home at night someone calls you tranny and then and I was like I'm out respond to you know the negative comments but all I'm thinking is if you're at home at night and someone said transgender and then threw a bottle at you equally upsetting it's not what the word is made to make you feel bad is made specifically to make you feel like you can use it however you want but the designation of the word right is to make you feel but that's what it's designed for successful

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it's laughing fun amazing artist an amazing athlete you could use it as if it is the most fluid word is unbelievable to be used on it's almost like the word fuck right like you could stop you tone or you could see a Ferrari go in Brazilian it's the word come they use for that is pollock okay so like you know like someone will catch a guy in a choke like that's a good thing for you fuck up yourself like he's managed to say puta madre

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feeling of it, it's like that is the sensation was so good I almost felt like me nothing and it could be bad in that like your dick tricked into fucking his girl you've been trying to avoid and then you, you like doing that. That is something exclusive to us and it is dude just like you don't get it I think I like you for you not and it's like

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yeah you realize you made a mistake especially if the woman is really into you and you really not in a hurry like I made an error and then you do feel like an assshole Van Dyke a fucking asshole I'm just being honest with you by genetics for women hang out your guy was poor this is what it's like this is how I described as having an erection and get getting right sitting in the backseat of a really long bus time you're driving the bus now when your dick is hard when your dick is hard to some other guy driving the bus and all the windows are rolled down there's papers flying around and horns honking at you look at life taking place through a dirty windshield a hundred feet away from you and you like do you know where the fuck you're going to shut the fuck up and come down

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and then when you come all the sudden the fog parts and you're at the front of the bus hold the wheel when we doing here and you looked out you dick you motherfucker it is covered in blood out of the reasons why you know it's so hilarious when you see someone who is a stereotypical male feminist cuz you know they barely have enough testosterone to keep the heart beating and they probably don't get post nut syndrome cuz I just want everyone to love them and they're in this weird state of you know Benedict Arnold there being a gender traitor

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best really what's going on it's a lot of it is trying to have all the same but all the same opportunities in quality and they want they want to Valley them as human beings and that's all real that is real but there's way more sneaky weeks Fox that are pretending they think like this because they know that women go take it you're on our side you're an ally come over here A Lie. Male Ally and they're always he's like weaselly little dudes with tiny hands and they're big and so they just shit on these men who they feel they're in competition with its complete hater movie absolutely so I'm going to make that, radioactive so that this is the only time

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allowed to do that, he's dirty that's edgy that's sexist that's bigoted sensor at censorate there's a lot of each side and want to censor the opinions opinions they just make you radioactive so they don't even have to talk to you if you're racist against the grain

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Amelie I'm labeled as something that they don't even have to have a dialogue with exactly a week way to end the conversation only works it's like it's like a magic trick it only works if you don't know what they're trying to do so how what percentage of the population knows it right that's that's a question I've been trying to wrap my head around is like like you and I can sit here and and see this all day but I think most people are seeking confirmation not information write a most people like they start out their day going I feel this way could be right left Central it doesn't matter and then they're seeking out information that confirms that right with what we're talking about what stand-up comedy in your career because the reason why those people seek out confirmation rather than information is cuz they're insecure they're not a good place but once you're in a good place

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like everything feels good like say if you're in a good relationship and you have a good woman in your life and your happy everything's going well then you see a lot of things for what they are versus if you're in the hunt you trying to get people to love you goodnight Emmanuel have any access it's like weird like Segway to a bit like I I tried Molly I've never did a lot of drugs I tried Molly with pepperoni memory and it was the first time that I experienced maybe outside of like comedy but first time I experienced having like extra love instead of operating deficit like trying to make you laugh so I feel like I had extra and what I did with the extra without even realizing it is I called my closest friends and my parents I just told him how special they were

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now I realize that until years later if that's what you do with excess right so how do I get to XS without drugs right

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the question for me was also how do I find fulfillment in shit that is not in other people's hands so much wood I fucking love about the LA scene right now is it Comics have control of it right so it's like Comics are pushing the comedy culture right now and it's because they're empowered you guys have money you guys have sustainability with your fans you're not going to get another pilot with Comedy Central to be here when the industry, suck you ever talk about fucking unicycles and shit right now and look

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we would come out in from New York and we will come out and we be kind of disillusion at the comedy scene back here and maybe that was like some New York west coast East Coast beef or whatever and it was funny as hell to ecosystem always bounces itself because as soft as comedy was out here all the sudden out of nowhere to show called roast battle pops up right right but here's a perfect example Comedy Central took that and they they have watered it cut it like they would sell cocaine yeah you not getting not even remotely they took all the juicy stuff out what you make me feel sad for some people that get toasted up there I saw a joke there was some kid who's not retarded but what is it and

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what is palsy and the other guy goes he goes he goes you look like your arms or legs shake so it up so fucked up that's what it needed to balance a system right well it definitely helped the good things and bad things about personal Brian Moses the guy who won the nice guys on the planet Earth and that helps and then also he says you know never gets physical the end we all hug like this good in that course you know and then when people go after each other like is this a guilty pleasure to it that doesn't exist anymore it's like there's a guilty pleasure to that kind of humor it's very hard

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if you're a fan of that kind of fucking vicious awful comedy it's very difficult to get any more cuz people roast each other anymore. They're free like these kids are soft man and it's tough my brother in the face once because he like pulled my backpack or something

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for her when she grow up that's what brothers did Jesus I don't know it's happening in elementary school is Wendy's kids wear my boy Marco point this out to meet both his parents are teachers and kids complain about their teacher in school right and when you and I were in school are parents ago we are sometimes it's easier to like you so figure it out and now these kids go to let's switch you out of the school and then taking them to you as soon as I got don't worry we'll figure out how to get you into USC college but I want to know what do you think is the root of the softness

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like what is the Chant by what's the

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you know when

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powers taken it's not given it's taking you have to take it you have to rip it out of somebody's fucking hands and take power out of someone's hands that's the last thing you take this gift right if you'll do right Constitution you have the right Constitution for power what are you done with your power you've uplifted a comedy scene you you do you show her your host them at the Improv brightness not for you right that's for comedy okay you're hosting shows at these different places you can sell out Arenas or you're choosing to do shows in the city I'm assuming because you understand the value of giving operating with excess in the heart of the shows are for me to workout shorts can you come and do the show tonight you know what I mean like at The Improv on Hollywood to sort out I already sold

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right Constitution for power you take and then you provide for your people you give back right only helps it helps you once you realize the value get from giving

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as long as it's the right person then you just can't wait it's a trick you should keep it all to yourself because we keep it all yourself you feel like shit weird old man that lives in the Mansion on the top of the hill and no one to talk to him and you're miserable and everybody looks at you like you're a sec I've got all that money I get his money ya Ali walks around me neighbor he wants his dad but when I when he did recognize we want to follow but we want to follow the worthy so we'll test wordiness the king takes power and then raises a bitch ass son because he never had to take shit right and he what he went through

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12 princess the generation before that Vietnam in the country and then the generation became next was just handed shit do some sort of service because you complain at all about the country that you didn't put your life on line four countries that have service and they have extreme levels of patriotism and and like South Korea for example they took a dong Yong Kim yeah

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know who was it

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Samsung Zhang that's what was the Korean song that's right that's what he took him out of his Prime and he had to do two years of service in the Korean army really you understand cuz we're so detached I don't hate on people for not realizing it cuz we are detached child slaves make iPhone and you know we feel like I just go and you can only really be connected to what's in your world director of I'm cool with that's life it is what it is really no good or bad things are going to mean so it's like that something to get to but it is what it is right there were trying to do an ethical phone number the phone call again some ethical Android phone man come on verifone it wasn't fair nobody bought it was expensive

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let's see if we can fuck with I'm trying to get off the Apple tit I told you I got this Galaxy Note 9 come back bro Steven come back from Salisbury reason the pictures pixelated and ship that's built to last was that mean

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but you can like attach it to it so you can add little things that I can't be waterproof just batteries are those batteries be replaced the battery like 7 or some shit removable battery Android 7 this motherfukers got Android 9 you need to catch the fuck up materials look there's a white lady in the front half are three black guys who working for what the fuck is fair about that picture that you're going to help me about you have white guys in their fifties working in a factory and not Chinese baby all right

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iPhones and you want to have your iPhone built by some Asian slave you work for a year in a second time you've done that kind of are superheroes in that way now so only people who care about the environment of care about animals only people who Bill wells in Africa like they're just in the Congo is a 6ft 3 tranny Rebecca don't know man. What's my schedule a man should I looking for the next you know when you want to talk about humanitarians

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who gets fucked by more racist than white women true like this is really true true who gets the short end of the stick there is that a penis size joke when should women Asian men probably fuck the the smallest percentage of different races 100% they just on my Tinder study to show that has a weird thing where did it's not made to size right

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I also like like you think that is made to shot like Lego tiny women would be into vagina would be like a much smaller then like I was a lot of work study in research 100% since I've met girls that were tiny that you could not fuck hard enough now then images open up like that they want they want Savage they want to get fucking smashed and they said so they want to get Savage genetics inside them so they have Survivor children I really believe that I think it only makes sense that some of the horniest girls ever dated my life about 104 lb

► 00:46:54

don't want to base pay amount because they know that those are the little girls a fucking 200% it's a never-ending Battle of genetics and a cheap denies girls I know a lot of the girl who is dating a guy like that she was a really like him I just do not want to fuck him scream and it's like I see it all the time like these like hardcore perceivably hardcore feminist chicks yeah you know don't hear my comedy

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they're in the DMS saying I don't know why I'm here

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good because I think feminism in general is a direct result of a failure by men to be fair and buy a failure by men to be actual men and to raise actual men who treat everybody with respect when men are abusing women those men are bullies they're they're weak men the kind of man that would do that to a woman that would like physically abused woman that's a weak man that's the type of man that beat up a smaller man or take someone from someone with for an adult for that is to be a strong man I've been telling people like this is how you fix bullying in school teach them how to fight not the bullies I mean not just the not just the victim but the bully everyone out of that they can people in the world martial artists martial arts

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fucking nicest is there no hugging everybody in Friendly are going to choke each other half to death in about 5 minutes and before that they're all fun happy playful side of their the Social Security relax there different type type of person obviously not all of them maybe there's some people are remotely human the meme on Twitter to mean women or men went now the weak women women will tell you this yes yeah that is one of the worst fucking cuz you can't even fuck her there's nothing you can do nothing you can do to make that bitch happy she wants to take from you she wants to squeeze your blood and if you're cute and your boss is disgusting and he's a fucking asshole you could flirt with him a little bit and you can like maybe get him to like you more

► 00:50:06

personality do shit but the female boss not even that a lot of women don't like women more than anything they look around to make sure no one's looking no one's around I'll go look I would never say this publicly but sumbitches are fucking crazy that's what we would like to have that bit about like a look around and decided women feel like it it's dead got momentum in this little war of ideas with the me-too movement

► 00:50:52

those are good things when shity men get put away or they get arrested for abusing people whether it's their physically abusing men or physically abusing women it's always good to shouldn't be physically abusing you were married in Harvey Weinstein try to fuck your wife and she went in on audition and you knew that there was all these two and all these fucking levels before you got to him and your wife got into that level and he was treating me like shit being mean to her and tell her if you want to work in this town you got to suck this little fat dick

► 00:51:34

you'd be very sore Dairy that's over this is like

► 00:51:49

there's going to be wind seems like these people are good examples they still exist now it is apparently a closeted homosexual really really how how well-known I don't know who this is talking about his crazy fuckers out there there's still roll old school by Lisa Marx I believe it depends on what Harvey did versus what we if he grabbed her add anything to her physically then you got to say it but if you just said something creepy and you tell him I will

► 00:52:49

take your fucking life I'll take your life that protected the second you complain about a guy for grope in or doing some crazy right now if you silence her and shut her up that's what the system falls apart is protecting him throughout exactly what she was supposed to do is go to be Weinstein's life unfortunately question what about the support staff almost they strip the person who was assaulted from

► 00:53:42

like Donnelly quality but like they stripped her from from life in a way but they made that person go oh shit life isn't fair and I don't have a shot do you know the expression diffusion of responsibility it's it comes when there's large groups of people that watch something and feel like someone's going to step in remember that there was some woman who is getting raped means that she was screaming for like 40 minutes and there was all these neighbors around like but I thought Ted was on it it's the same kind of thing corporations work so if you're working for a corporation to corporations dumping pollutants into the river that you feel like well it's not my responsibility I just work here in accounting you know like somebody else is going to handle this right now this is and I think when you if you work in in like the Weinstein Company any new horror movies out there swinging dick first of all

► 00:54:42

their defense you probably didn't know the specifics right because it's like Harvey's a dog is always out there trying to fuck that sort of normal like a lot like people have to understand this why does a guy like that get rich why does he get rich is he like some patron of the Arts who loves creating Now power do you like Power why you like that power what are you getting out of that power once you have a Ferrari once you have your pussy so it's about power right it's about power to power and they're so wildly insecure that they need to be looked at like a God and children when they look at you somebody that they admire something they truly look up to etcetera they can look

► 00:55:42

shooting at Godlike State and so I don't think it's a physical thing like I was watching that abducted in plain sight she gets right to the mom and dad this is insane and they sent her car

► 00:56:12

they don't censor comedy. Did the dynamic a power like like people say the Catholic Church makes these people pedophilia pedophile and they're going in my community has that amazing power with a looking at him as this god-like figure it was a preset are Catholic Church that sounds like let me give you an alternative perspective from psychologist is a thing called imprinting that happens with young men in particular sexually it have those young women as well but one of the things that can happen is young man can be sexually molested by other men when they're young and they developed this imprint the vast majority of people who are abusers were abused themselves and there's some horrible hijacking

► 00:57:12

of the psychology of the person when you're a 6 year old boy and some grown man has cock in your ass because there's something about that that it fucks with their head especially it happens a lot right it becomes a part of your life and the guys nice to you as well and buys you things and says things for you and then you get older and you for whatever reason perpetrate this same horror on other kids this is something that happens I think it's maybe maybe it's a combination of both right maybe you have that imprinting right and then it creates his massive void that you need filled I think so much of everything that we do everything that people do is about filling the void and what is it that you need to void filled with dictates off how often if you're evil sometimes if you're good there are some people that are addicted to working out right there's a whole chicken

► 00:58:11

is a lot better to have than the other you know it's like even with just insecure and he's trying to justify his coolness constantly by taking things that are not cool at all and making them cool within a community within his community so it's like everything Kanye does like down to like it started with like the WASP culture I'm going to take like the preppy New England you know polos that are pink and shit and I'm going to make that call now before the Hip Hop community on a group New York Road Trip sweaters and Dad sneakers sneakers

► 00:59:11

sneakers cool and then what is the most uncool thing to his community

► 00:59:19

and what is he trying to make cool

► 00:59:22

it's selfish is all about him is about proving the keys that dude and he takes the most uncool thing puts it on his head and make magical and that's when people like at least his community was like not we not going to play with that you know what I think I think you know how like you have something that's supposed to take like 8 volts charger has the wrong plug to the universe and it in a good way all the time I talked to him on the phone and it was a stream of Consciousness that was so intense I was like okay now I get it I kind of go we had a long conversation has a very nice guy with a long conversation but 15

► 01:00:22

minutes on the phone which is a long conversation these days on the phone but I think inside your hundred volts bro design going to shed and new song lyrics and new fashion and all this and I think he's just catching whatever he can and hold it on to it and waiting through the waves a field of Jodeci there's a little bit of that with him it's almost like affirming that he's okay because he's so much different than everybody else like Elon Nation the car but he is the Confederate flag to know about his statements on that he he said that like he uses in a quote what is the Confederate flag represent slavery in a way that's my abstract take on what I know about it right so wrote the song New Slaves to the Confederate flag made it my flag it's my flag now what you going to do

► 01:01:22

now what are you going to do I take my equity and see if I'm So Dope but that's also his recognition that you can take something like the n-word and use it as a positive you could do anything I mean look if if black people really decide I said I do this bit Isis bit about the fucking Duck Dynasty guy was who is to talk about shit about gay people's I got on understand it I don't know you better be nice because I go if you keep fucking with gay people they're going to do something and they going to do something and you're not going to be able to take it back like we have gay people decided to take over camo and the bit was like look what they did to the rainbow rainbow I go you can't wear a rainbow shirt anymore everybody like they used to be leprechaun's pot of gold

► 01:02:21

now it's dudes butt bucket have to do is start off every gay porn in a Duck Blind is to do to get the gayest black guy in the world and camels I'd some about duck hunting make me horny and some dude just drops in out of nowhere is that all pornos intimate absolutely it's like some Annie Leibovitz Vanity Fair cover nonsense organize shoot better. Sabet camo pattern eld-x is a duck say

► 01:03:22

you know it's just it's not a climate for it I feel so it could be just remembered Deliverance it's not sex is about power well then they didn't do right

► 01:03:48

Powers a part of this is about sex and power I get it you're not gay but it still sucks people wanted man that's the thing I don't know he's just a guy who thinks way different like for whatever reasons the connection that's one of the reasons why I think this Kim Kardashian relationship work so well it's cuz like I bet she just handles normal regular stuff and he could just be cognac but it seems like they're all different music is locked up in a mental institute they don't just lock you up bro the never lock me up my wife has some fucking two gorillas that are in those

► 01:04:48

AB suits with the big guy you just go to The Mentalist they fucking big velcro you mean that you are genius there's a lot of crazy people so just crazy yeah well he's definitely crazy but he's also but he's brilliant to see the work that comes out of that crazy is genius work right so what is it about him that allows him to be so prolific as an artist who knows how prolific at music music this is all from this energy that's inside of a he figures out how to channel that energy and put it in good ways but it's not a coincidence

► 01:05:48

coincidence that when Kanye was onstage I think it was in San Jose and he said that he didn't vote but it was going to vote he would have voted for Trump and the crowd went crazy and they put the shit out of him then he cancel his tour and then he went to the Mental Health Institute right that shit happen together because he felt the pain of this than his response to that was to double down his response to that was to the tribute qualities to Trump and he doesn't even really have right and so Trump in his in a lot of ways very wise the way he handles things socially he let Kanye coming to the White House is rented Kanye could Define who Trump was he could defy what love and Trump man should I get Define why black people should we should embrace Trump Frank Define all this in his head to justify what went wrong with him and then Trump to sits there and goes like this and let them talk and then he leaves Trump goes what the fuk just happened

► 01:06:48

I watching the blonde chick right there okay what is phone cut down Trump get his lips pursed to show me some lyrics like I can't believe I have to go

► 01:07:27

he's like what in the fuck do I do when I get fired from here cuz I know it's coming through the brother of the back so fast I can't wait to get on Amazing meeting of the minds I tried his face yeah he's a nice guy he's a hunter we know each other through mutual friends one of our mutual friends who committed suicide but he's a nice guy I don't agree with a lot of things that a lot of people that I know agree with I think we're allowed to be reasonable and cordial with each other

► 01:08:26

what is it Jim Brown is also sitting at the Jim Brown used to do the early, turn for the UFC really used to wear one of them Africa hats traditional he was like he did my job for the UFC like UFC like 1 and 2 or is he a stroke he is Jim Brown man is Bill superfoot Wallace that's a world champion kickboxer from the 80s he's a legend in the kickboxing World there is Jim Brown I just started taking a couple kickboxing gloves home tonight to have something to like want to get better at that has nothing to do with career that's really fun but the interesting thing about the kicking aspect of it

► 01:09:26

when I when I would see you guys learning how to box like the hook is a tough pain for people to get right because it's something you always have to pop your body throw it and that's who I am with kicks I feel like the exact same person I prefer doesn't want to let the legs go you know I could definitely help you with the way to do it as you do it slow right do it slowly don't try to hit anything hard when you try to hit things hard then you tense up

► 01:10:11

yeah I'll herky-jerky and Goofy key to learning how to kick his to do it slow so that's a big part of it yeah you just get your torque right bright make sure you pay that hang off your bottom foot you know the support for that the pivot almost with every kick basically yeah but every kick your support foot pain it support one is the one that I'm sending standing still standing foot has to constantly pit it has to go to be you have to be planted by but you also have to be able to move with it it's like a coordinated dance that's why I mean kicks it so difficult because you got you got to time it and then you got a twist your body right at the same time but everything's got to work in coordination got to working in concert such a cool I didn't kick box has got to be the worst marketed sport in the world that's what I said the greatest sports to me for stand-up fighting and it's the best what there's a company called Glory

► 01:11:11

Japanese I'm sorry from the Netherlands Holland if I pass and I think they're on ESPN2 what headquarters are in Singapore Singapore outlets in new show some of the best fucking fights will ever watch your life I watch on in my studio my gym I have Apple TV and I watch glory on this app on some fucking amazing fights that because Dana White has a really good point in the 1980s without Bill superfoot Wallace reason to stay late the 7th there was a thing called PKA Karate and it was on ESPN and it was terrible and it was kickboxers who basically like

► 01:12:11

not the best kickers and not the best boxers and then it was like kind of goofy and clunky there's a few guys like Rick the chat Rufus and some really popular guys were really good that we're also do it at the same time for the most part it was just terrible to watch it was boring as fuck Marvin hagler's on TV and you watching these guys and these guys are like out of shape and they're so tainted the well a little bit you're saying is you go to Muay Thai events and the rabbit and it's like a very deep community of people that really understand preciate the sport the play the music and then, they had trouble thing on a by seven amazing to watch

► 01:13:11

morally version of kickboxing because it's elbows and knees and a lot of clinch work and dumping with a trip you and slam into the ground and they kick you on the way down to the still don't like if your belts throw you into the ropes and if you're still on your way down you get punched in the head yeah I mean and it's illegal it's a hard sport man it is just feel like I feel like we could get people to skip a even for me some sort of an epic change to me it's way more exciting than football like if those football players all decided to do Muay Thai it would be better for them brain right believe it or not a Fighter 2 cast

► 01:14:11

Elites Izzy adesanya example of so fucking exciting to watch shows his opponent he's fighting this is one of the hockey blasting Striker good wrestling wrestling to Jiu-Jitsu guys don't have power with the hands but these wrestlers it seems like they got power and I was asking us some folks around in there like its core everything in wrestling some of them but like Ben askren who's probably one of the best wrestler in the sport doesn't have any power in try but he's just about getting you the ground fucking you

► 01:15:11

as such unbelievable confidence and he should is undefeated in his wrestling that he just concentrates on absorbing whatever he can grab a newbie to this but like I don't understand his his leverage point is is he he's so strong that his is it is grip was doing physical strength it's Technic it's an understanding of it you got to think of wrestling the same way you would think of Chess like if you only know a few moves you not going to be the guy who knows all the moves he knows all the moves so once he's locked with you defend oh I'm going to stuff I'm going to dig in my hooks I'm going to Pummel under here and I'm going to defend here he knows you're going to do that so he's so he's waiting for you to be switching to the inside he's tripping you he's grabbing hold your legs it's really awkward

► 01:16:11

he's rolling back right knows your weight is going to be going a certain direction he's anticipating several steps ahead and he has International wrestling competition experience which is just next level is wrestling these guys from Russia and Iran in some of the best wrestlers in the world there's levels to this fucking thing level but the same thing you can say about stylebender see if the thing about stylebender is he's an elite kickboxer he lost the glory middleweight title in a very controversial decision to Jason wilnis who competed at the highest level of one of the most difficult Combat Sports and Wellness and in that world he's known as a Precision artist he's a technician he's not like there's some guys are just thugs they got a good low kick think they get a good shall they throw bombs that will in a bra

► 01:17:11

a few things they know how to pop the double jab and lead them to get that inside leg kick in style Benders a different animal he's switching stances he's hitting people up the the one when he went into god mode that I had on my Instagram that Lawrence Kenshin broke down up man artistic way to the way he picks his shots he just knows what you're going to do before you know what you're going to do and he has several steps so he has that same level of skill that Ben askren possesses and wrestling looking for the moves waiting to see how the guy responds and then he walks the walk away KO one of the most devastating sites psychological maneuvers

► 01:18:11

all-time he's a special guy but there's no one thing that's better write most effective form wrestling because of the best wrestler can dictate where the fight takes place the best wrestler in get ahold of a guy in drag them down like khabib nurmagomedov might be the best fighter in the world he's the UFC lightweight champion what stands out of him is that he can get ahold of guys and once he does they can't do jackshit about it he's not the best striker in the world but he's good enough so you have to be scared of him on the feet cuz he dropped Conor McGregor and he's he could tag you fuck you up he's got powers not guys out but more importantly that's the setup the clitch and then once you get to the cleanse your his I said you going for a ride to get him slammed and it is getting you on the ground and you getting strangled

► 01:19:11

his grappling is what allows that steak place now with style Bender style Benders grappling allows him to stay up on the feet so he's a very good Grappler in terms of his ability to get back up and disability stuff to take his got to sprawl but he get the fuck out of there he pushes your head pops his legs out kicks back way out there take that with you it's different with the the sports involve legs but like you guys fight it and in a further distance but it also makes you you know it's acceptable for counters in a way like like when when Connor was fighting Floyd my biggest concern for Connor was not speed or counter-punching it was the distance

► 01:20:01

that you're going to be able to counter and when when Connor caught Floyd a couple at a couple times in the beginning of that one was a left uppercut occult blood that was shocking to me because I was surprised that he had boxing counter punching speed the distance is packed

► 01:20:18

compared to a kick sport I would say if we're standing what two three feet away from each other and kickboxing is 1 and 1/2 in boxing cut that distance in half and still have the counter punching Billy was impressive I mean

► 01:20:34

what is there a lot of lower-level boxing in the jams of a body when you get to that level two different fucking game completely different planet than anybody else greatest great of all-time that's what I'm eating like he's better at boxing than Stephen Hawking is it at astrophysics you might be right look East 1500 the car does count even though I probably shouldn't write me was a real boxing match put it was a guy that I'd 0 professional boxing that he's a good fighter he's a very good mixed martial arts fighter but the thing about Floyd is that for what is the best not getting hit with the better really tired like three times four times in his whole career Candyman five times the other ones are earlier

► 01:21:34

yeah and then Demarcus Chop Chop Corley that's right I forgot in all these Affairs a journalist back the days to cover like Ali and his fight this weekend so I kind of came up you know generationally the best Jiu-Jitsu guys have going for him is that he's not physically powerful like the best Jiu-Jitsu guys are smaller people because of small people learn how to use leverage and technique in the calf muscle is a 250 lb gorilla you're so gay football player do do you like chocolate shop About That Bass Shop sing about doing Jiu-Jitsu again cuz I'll tell him I got back into a recently I'm really enjoying in he's like I don't know

► 01:22:34

little guys on the ground and the turtles it's it's a technique thing a little guy has to learn perfect Precision technique because they don't have that exercise or, even though he's capable of knocking guys out if it's with Precision John the Beast mugabi wood or a Francis ngannou of wood or a fucking a real power puncher Adele Smith those guys are just truck and get you to the cage of or against the ropes and just smashed that it's yep reheat Floyd is all precision and he's all like one of the most fun things for music is watching Floyd in the first round and watching him take away your life like

► 01:23:34

wait to see him take away a Fighter's confidence like he knew he was going to get off with the jab releasing new mostly thought that he was going to get off at the gym and there's a moment even in the first round I know he gets tagged with that overhead right but there's a moment we're mostly mostly pops and Floyd sees it sets back slightly and then come straight over the right in that moment you could see Shane know that there's nothing he can do because Floyd has time to Jack and countered it directly so now your job is done now it's locked off one of your arms I'm literally just cut it off now you got to open up at the right you're not going to do anything I mean I got the Pieces away from a fighter I love fucking Floyd man what do you learn how to do in his dad

► 01:24:34

we should fight with Sugar Ray was in his prime Med schools Rodger Mayweather's black mamba Uncle rather he would fight on like ABC like whatever television shows were having boxing on television during the day maybe was ABC I don't member but yeah I like that family he grew up boxing and you also got to see the things that people do wrong you know and here's another thing that boy that's going for him conditioning on families always in tremendous shape always just always and shape I think it's a hustle when you see a meeting the McDonald's and shit hydrates it's just bullshit the thing about that like you would eating sugar or kill drink a soda after workout he's working out for 2 and 1/2 hours

► 01:25:34

there is an argument that that kind of sugar is not bad for you after you have a brutal workout competition to what is a McDonald's he's doing while he's working out right here

► 01:26:05

yeah dude you can do that it's all in how much you exercise now that's not all obviously he's eating healthy food on top of that if he feels like fucking off and getting a Big Mac he can do that and there's no no performance benefits no penalty not knots is Chad still working out just exercised play guys in like play guys in FIFA on that he's a great follow on Twitter it's hilarious. It's like $30 like you know don't put so much money into your outfit when the blinds in your house are $30 a little things like he's hilarious but his

► 01:27:05

is this is his, like remember you saying she needs to sleep at the arena or at least at the stadium he was obsessed with it he loved the sport he was talking about fighting Anderson Silva at one time I was talking about I think she has martial arts skill though I'm not bullshiting hitting the pads or hit in the back cuz I think he has real martial arts skill like legit martial arts classes while they are but in small who's smarter numbers well Jon Jones

► 01:27:54

small calves but the fact that he has a small calves allows him to be 6 foot 4 in 205 pounds right he was bottom-heavy cb250 what you could be right you could be a heavyweight he could walk up and go up to heavyweight but he's got like weird cap genetics is calves are tiny things you don't have to jump that much and MMA and he can hit you in the face with a flying knee mean but what he knows how to do and what he can do physically in terms of his wrestling right and his ability to close the distance in Smash guys in a time people he's an elite athlete but I think he could he could have done that he's his two brothers play NFL. Spinal season Blu-ray

► 01:28:44

yeah still can't be touched she says what he's a southpaw so

► 01:28:50

let's see this

► 01:28:53

stay away from Anderson Silva

► 01:28:58

so he's full okay yeah for sure I like the way he moves hands down over dick Euless

► 01:29:07

see the duty sparring now we don't know shit about him that guy might be terrible you know I mean the guy didn't want to try to go to the body he didn't duck in

► 01:29:17

and when someone's moving their head around like that I just smashed the ribs you go right after the boss of the arm hit those arm that's what I try to do one thing it's like we're talking about with Ben askren that when a guy is a super Elite wrestler you think you're going to do something but you were going to do he anticipates what you're going to do as an answer to that and then you have to regroup and he's already moving on the step 3 it's just too many steps that he's ahead of you I like with him that you don't engage on the ground like you just got a job stay on the outside as well almost took it wasn't Bend mental toughness in the ability to endure punishment most guys would have probably gone unconscious the style Bender Bender would be one of the worst fucking nightmares for a guy like Ben askren because he's super difficult to take down

► 01:30:17

and on the feet he's not in doing a stupid and you just going to eat me to fill out low calf Kickback going to feel the inside of your thighs and try to walk off the pain you switch stances that starts to hurt both your legs are fucked up and come down the middle with a need of the solar plexus it off it's just a matter of doing his game in his install Bender's game his game is keep the fight standing fuck you up and then Ben askren's it's grab ahold of you fuck you up you up it's a matter of Spike who who's better at the weak aspect of the other person's game yeah yeah how can I take advantage and no one could be the best at everything

► 01:31:17

Aliso Summit Academy math is a notoriously difficult thing to do like say say if if Jamie beats me but I beat you but you BJ me like that happens only goes so far with mme it's it's because the Sports more comprehensive cuz there's more skills is more different things happening compared to basketball maybe there's more tools that can be used in here then set what's going on with basketball is there going to be any team is going to happen I don't know shit about basketball or football so I'm just guessing you can be a superstar position in football

► 01:32:17

most important positions offense and defensive line like I'm in town parties like 15 highest paid quarterback in the league is like right but if you look at an elite athletes body right I want to see a dude is built like tomorrow smart about to Weight Champion Elite at you looking like your job like I so special

► 01:33:08

he's got a lot of it up here sometimes the greatest picture of him next

► 01:33:20

it's like sometimes having all the natural tools is a tier detriments Come On Son

► 01:33:33

yeah Ben askren similar to he's got a little muffins he's got a little bit of a fuck these he feels like he's so much better as a wrestler that everybody else is fucked give give me an image of abdomen

► 01:34:00

I mean he's got a big ass lie underneath that that's from one FC he looks even worse now

► 01:34:09

yet winning yeah there you go

► 01:34:14

I mean that is not Tom Brady man the ideal male combat body you would think that's not what the ideal combat body looks like Bell fuckshit up he's got a shirt on that was one is lucky lucky for him

► 01:34:30

but like this is just some guys that like okay Francis ngannou is a perfect example some guys look like a destroyer they just look like a destroyer 665 206 Five Guys the natural ability they don't have the the work ethic to be the greatest because it comes so easy and we all know Comics that are like so funny hanging out there okay on stage and it's so easy to them they don't hit the gym maybe it's you need that like Jordan almost like sociopathic approach to it you don't know where like if you're having this conversation earlier is like

► 01:35:26

they could you think Jordan's happy I don't think he's happy memory when he was inducted abducted abducted inducted into the Hall of Fame Thing by the time he was in abducted in plain sight and I was like bro this guy from Jordan to do you remember when he was inducted into the Hall of Fame he was talking about writers who's talking shit about writers his coaches and his teammates and it's been an amazing ride and I feel so blessed and fortunate enough he still like I fuck you remember when you said that fuck you 1993

► 01:36:02

Sports Illustrated issue he has drive you know in like I feel like I feel like that happens when you don't derive Joy from what you do you know like you drive Joy from the outcome you're obsessed with outcome you know like at least for me

► 01:36:32

everything before was outcome right it was like I'm good if if I get a special I'm good if I'm doing these things I'm good if I kill and the second I was stripped of the opportunity to do those things actually found like I loved creating more and then whatever the outcome was was extra so I think it's a happier path I think so too but I don't know if it's the path to Greatness as much as the path of the psychopath especially comes the competitive sport something about the best athletes they all they have a fucking self-loathing they and they also have an ego and they have this this anger towards the competition I'll give u b u b Jordan's game

► 01:37:32

I don't even know if it's that he thinks he's not good enough that he knows he can get you quit motherfuker I'm going to get you get you he needs to be cuz it's like he needs to confirm something maybe I need to confirm its constant confirmation I need to confirm our great and there's a little voice and it says it's going it's the hardest fucking thing

► 01:38:11

and he just jumped from basketball to baseball in which people act like he was trash he wasn't even that bad he hit like 250

► 01:38:23

go to 902 hardest thing in sports is hitting a fucking baseball

► 01:38:39

the fact that he

► 01:38:42

I mean there's a bunch of rumors and why he even went into baseball first base but like that's gonna want I'm going to put out there like it's one of those I think there is a balance that you could

► 01:39:02

I think if you truly love what you do like if you love The Creative aspect and then you have high standards for yourself then you can achieve both I think that achieving greatness and living with misery I don't think that's worth it for you so you got one shot at this man like this this life man like you at one shot it try to figure the fuck out and it takes time to figure the fuck out but it's one of those things but if you can I'm approaching this point in my life where I think I sense like holding on 35

► 01:39:43

it's like my buddy explains that I guess you like this is different phases in life is like there's none of his better or worse than the other but you know this is vegetable phase we like just going to work and then come home and you don't think about anything and there's a wide face right which is what gets us into, a lot of us where we start asking why is the phase which a lot of the discussion is on on this show and a lot of Comedy operates his which is everything is and isn't not everything is or isn't right it's like I'm operating why people are drawn to this bright and white people are drawn to make my stand up and another thing is is we are shaking the foundation of the world showing at the world isn't one way you're not either good or bad everybody and everything is both the Maga hat is so offensive to women

► 01:40:43

offensive things it's like well what about the Viking helmet like they did some fucking shit the women Dente every Sunday for Vikings games than what you think so because you know and like that that place where like fucking, dele wants who wants War, he lives in the conversation lives you know that is an amazing place to not everybody gets to go that's what's so offensive about Progressive fake comedy is it the pretend the world's binary if it's 1 and 0 and you have to punch out all comedy is punching up I had a conversation with this guy wrote a book is Black or White without gray they don't believe there's great like you and I take for granted that we understand there's gray yeah we truly

► 01:41:33

understand that we can have a conversation about maybe some of the most vile things and try to put contacts into it or nuances that conversation trans people are going to write comments are you motherfukers a dish and then we do that What Makes Us able to do that what do we understand about the world that allows us to do that and how do we

► 01:42:07

you can't tell people things you have to show them how can we show that

► 01:42:13


► 01:42:15

I think that's it I think that's I think that's why were the first person is killed one of dictatorship Takes Over The Comedians in the Philosopher's comedians like anybody who goes hey look at the world this way like get them out of here. Mockingjay making people think a little bit I've always said that if you can make someone laugh about something you force him to think about it if you just on stage spouting your opinions like one of those real problems that I have a lot of what they're calling comedy where they just waiting for Applause breaks when you say something after intersectional you know ideas must be approached with the same music I know what you doing but I know the difference that it's it's a it's a hack they've like the figure out a way to make a shortcut but it's not stand up it's something else it's like you just expressing opinions but

► 01:43:11

if you just on stage saying your opinions on things I can be in the audience go on while I don't agree with that I have a different opinion but if you're onstage saying something that makes me laugh even though I don't agree with your philosophy so funny that's that's when it gets you like if you're a hardcore Republican Trump supported someone does a joke about Trump that makes you fucking laugh like God damn it he got me motherfuker guy if you put on a little bowl out there the crowd Boos jokes for Boo and we don't we don't say that yes they're all going to laugh at a joke about how women are smarter than men because there's a bunch of dudes trying to get pussy that are at that show with the girl they're trying to get pussy

► 01:44:11

exactly exactly how do you putting it's that world where it operates in and then the next thing is I think. I'm not there yet but I get glimpses it is like

► 01:44:26

from nothing comes everything

► 01:44:29

you know like for me

► 01:44:32

I'm a trip for the show in The Comedy Store in La when you walked in like that was crazy for me because obviously any comic you're watching this show and you're seeing and you're like man will be so cool one day be on Joe Rogan podcast right but it was nothing I would ever ask for

► 01:44:51

cuz I stopped asking I stopped feeling entitled to anything I just decided like when you walked in on this is awesome cuz I never expect so I'm saying I only the shit that I want to do cuz I can control that and if I just worry about expecting one should I can't control be miserable right so you did the fucking show me some good stuff in my check it out and I was like that's fucking unreal and I was overwhelmed because I did ever expect this shit and even in that moment I wouldn't ask you to come on and I didn't care if I didn't come on I didn't give a fuck because I was so

► 01:45:31

grateful that that happened it was almost like I was just true to Comedy and all I want to do is good comedy in the fucking that's how old is our universe is doors from locking it if you especially in this world the world that we live in if you're doing real ship people find out about on that man here about you I heard about you several people and I was like really cool let me check them out and then I saw some you should online like I can tell the real thing they're out there really doing comedy and they're trying to make things funny and they're talking about controversial subjects and talking about different things their perspective in life and they're not worried about the industry's opinion of them and what you said was so true that in the day everybody was trying to get a sitcom man and it's all they were doing they were doing these acts like you did actress who get into, they just they can put together a 7-minute set so they can get a sitcom off of it and then it would stop doing stand-up

► 01:46:31

a lot of That World ride up in the sitcom dried up yes and it happened right around the time that Fear Factor kicked in Fear Factor kicked in reality TV show washed all these sitcoms of some people are arguing with a comic about that and he's like managers think it's popped out that you're you're doing a reality TV show in supporting reality VR go watch the Eagles cuz it takes jobs away from Comics that right on sitcoms I go hey man I go first of all they're not writers on sitcoms did taking a job writing on sitcom while they're doing stand-up, they're fucking Comics okay I'm taking a job making people eat animal dicks while I'm doing, the difference is I'm still doing, and these motherfuckers are just looking for some sort of a gravy train to ride off into the sunset right if the show was good people would watch it instead of These reality show samples and then it wouldn't exist anymore but there was so many

► 01:47:31

sitcoms did it open the door to Real Housewives and all these other things and then next thing you know name name me three sitcoms go that are on right now he'll never be another headset, again probably won't my yesterday and talk to people and they don't get it Christian Bale in The Big Short I just walking around Dover golf give a look at the fucking ratings for late night television now it's crazy this is everything that I've done it for Comics but don't think they'd like you're copying or anything like that it's for you look at the poop

► 01:48:31

how you prove it but Empower yourself that's what this is for the blue pit of putting things up on YouTube. It's best when we are helping each other and New York doesn't get that right now just yet what has less opportunity that's it that's it you know what happened in La, it is so done this is how you know what is your favorite scene in asset, I don't really watch them unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt that's a single camera that doesn't to Little Dipper cuz there's like a lot against saints right try to think of how that episode began

► 01:49:22

you don't know try to think about how it ended you don't know because the narrative was never important The Narrative was to fill 30 minutes of time the only thing that was important are the five sketches the field at 30 minutes of time 22 minutes or 20 22 yeah exactly so so it's like five sketches don't have to have that bullshit narrative right so right now you really just need for 5 friends that are doing the same kind of funny shit already seen the new sitcom it's already existing an Instagram the Big Bang or Two and a Half Men are those that came from the time I was there but like they did not they certainly don't stand up like that's also why Netflix kicked in with a lot of their dramas as they can get away with things on stranger things or on Ozark they can get away with shit you just could never fucking do on regular television it's way more while it's way more Raw it's like you're watching a better movie they

► 01:50:22

I only just cuz it used to be that if you did filmed you did want to do television cuz television sucked brightly television you doing are wolf or something like that again something terrible is Rama bulshit it's obvious to see it coming a mile away it's made for morons you did film and if you did filmed boy you get a chance to do work with some of the most amazing directors and do the Incredible Pizzas but Netflix came along and really was before Netflix Sopranos laid the blueprint surprised they created a new movie every week and it all went together again and it lasted a hundred hours rights and so you like oh my God will regular movies are so shallow 10 years later you seem 10 years later the same is going to be why is it

► 01:51:20

because movies got so expensive to make you couldn't take risks on stories that we didn't already know if she wants your man right to make a movie about it's just says mob guy and he's kind of got like some eggs iety your fucking mind is like a fan base is it based on a book or comic the only movies we see are either comedy right there that used to be awesome movies TV and they were restricted cuz it's cable it was an HBO I mean what happened was with Comics was the internet came

► 01:52:20

long and all the sudden there was these this wealth of avenues where comedians could show their work where is before you were limited by The Gatekeepers sitcoms and the sitcoms was what everybody wanted to get cuz you got a sitcom then you were all set you were Jerry Seinfeld or you were Roseanne and then it became something along the line Russell and you like both guys Russell Peters in particular became gigantic selling out arenas from YouTube that's working to put little Clips is should came up and if you ever met Russell he's one of those generous guys in the world super generous, he's the best he's such a great guy but he's also a guy that recognizes that you got to give some back you got to be and if she says is personality just a gregarious outgoing guy

► 01:53:12

all these podcast that popped up people realize like hey you know we're not in competition with each other like Jay Leno and David Letterman work cuz everybody wanted The Tonight Show spot now there's a thousand tonight shows and if you have The Tonight Show and I have The Tonight Show on my case you should check out Andrews Tonight Show it's fucking great like this is okay since the Tonight Show Your Carson figured out a way Carson now you know that right that's the difference that's the shift that's why Netflix can't even compete Netflix is done movie about Tom Hanks movie about America get involved with the Afghan conflict I get my $5,000 rocket launcher and they're going to shoot down

► 01:54:04

5 million-dollar helicopter and eventually Russian just won't be able to compete right Netflix pays a hundred million dollars to Aaron Sorkin or whoever to make a TV show for 2-hour Express YouTube page 0 million dollars to Joe Rogan and Jamie to make a podcast that distracts you for 2 hours everyday Netflix cannot compete what's a different animal you got to realize first of all they have way more people than just me they also are putting together something that requires a lot of money to create she loves you enjoy films or if you enjoy show like Ozark from stranger things. It takes a lot of money to make those things are special effects or more people and makeup people and there's a lot of lot going on tonight at directors and producers and directors and it's a giant fucking tent score with people

► 01:55:04

terrible terrible the most most viewed shows on Netflix right now Netflix doesn't own by who they want and that's what the Goldfish origin of the 10 billion in debt there's no way they can but they make hundreds of millions of dollars a month like how many people do they have on board how many subscribers do they have that are paying $9 as far as I know they don't share that information rights Christian ethics is Dunham's speak make decorations I'm speaking in the future right now for the future here goes 100 million dollars

► 01:56:04

what the greatest distance past years and TV affects what is that sake story which is another thing like $10 a month is how much does it cost to 1212 buxmont that is a fuckload of income to overtake all the others and then they got Jeff Bezos you know Captain money bags up there a Scrooge McDuck bright is trying to do the same thing Facebook but that's because he's making paper towels because he's got a lot of fucking series that ain't nobody watching on that he's doing something

► 01:57:04

even more weird because there's no one watching the shows yeah there's a ton of fucking shows on Amazon that fucking no one's watching I would like to see their numbers cuz I bet they have some shows they might they might spend a million dollars to Megan have like four viewers Hollywood going to give us a Grammy or some like that and then will I qualify AR platform create much are little and they took down the my guess would You Tube is there waiting for Netflix you know that scene in the movie where like that somebody's caught in like a enclosed space and water starts coming in and the water gets right up to like his lips you know he's like he's trying to breathe little bit more and I think YouTube this is going to be the one to pour the last drop of water

► 01:58:04

talking my two totally different things cuz Netflix is never aim to be a user created content streaming site right at the end of the day it's just distraction I think I think that's what we got to start looking at content as bright as it's just raw distraction and Netflix occupies a space for distraction did smaller than YouTube so I can watch a 2-hour thing on YouTube at home on my TV I can watch a 2-minute thing on the bus says I'm going to work on YouTube you know I can watch a 15-minute you know peace like a blog or some like that I can watch all the whole Spectrum Network I'm really just watching at home or like a poem on a trip you know what I mean it's really I'm not watching a 2-minute thing on Netflix for now don't get me wrong it absolutely the ship for now right but if I was being if I'm putting my money

► 01:58:57

on it I would say if I'm Facebook I buy it and then imagine having your Facebook feed you just watch the show and then you get to share it immediately on your Facebook if I was Facebook I'll be super careful by buying anything cuz the government's been thinking about breaking them up for a while. That's one of the parts of her platform for president is breaking up Apple breaking up Facebook breaking up Twitter at once a break up all these things she thinks are monopolies what's your feeling on that get the fuck out of here with that Disney takeover of 21st Century Fox takes place I think next week 20th to take over all of their production movie facilities like five thousand people might be losing their job because it's coming off of Netflix is going to come over to them

► 01:59:57

so now they're going to have a nice you're going to take all the kids movies dad with your kids tomorrow or some shit today like a few people never became billionaires

► 02:00:43

the days of like Fame being about distance or done distance distance like I'm Johnny Depp I'm going to go to way to my little home somewhere in the Alps and you will see me twice a year in a Time weirdo Marlon Brando I'm out here I'm weird I'm just letting you know it's like now its proximity

► 02:01:07


► 02:01:10

that's interesting have you been to Bronson or whatever his name is Branson get the fuck out of here on your Island cuz it was want you to go to the island like bitch I ain't going to your Island whatever what would you do Aries and I was good friends with his brother and best of all time

► 02:01:59

I'm ready when I met Eddie Murphy I met Eddie Murphy and Maui Indigo its first words out of my years ago maybe more than 10 years ago how do you say on Eddie Murphy says you're funny motherfuker Mike holyshit wow felt great you know to look at your life and Legacy by honestly at home I'm not that funny my wife jokes I don't need it you know it's one of the reasons why I like to hang out with Joey Diaz cuz he's always funny and he's always the funny guy you know I like it it's you know I like being a

► 02:02:59

funny people mad I'm not a thing about Comics especially the needy annoying ones and the early days like early days of your career they have to be the center of attention the shit is really you know I want two things that you learn for sure about hosting a podcast is you don't really want to be the center of attention you just want to Priscilla Tate a conversation just want to make the best creation what's the best creation the best creation is let this guy rant you got to let him get out of the way and the best creation is rent with them you jump in together and you go back and forth on your game at 10 then you do it that way do you have to be able to feel the vibe and then some people not going to like it that way they're going to want why don't you let your guests talk like people that say she like that why you interrupted his rants trying to make a creation, listeners are are great at this stuff for them to do this

► 02:03:59

people know man it's how how comfortable is it when he gets in through their ears like is it getting an easy or is it anticipated the comments will you quiet somebody know I mean if I have to a try not to if I have to correct them like if they're saying something that I know to be an accurate if it's in my wheelhouse like sometimes people say something and I'll just say that's not that's not true here's why that's not true a lot about stop it yeah okay that makes that makes sense but for the most part I want people to just be themselves. I got to figure out how to get you to be yourself that's what a lot of this is

► 02:04:59

make you realize that I just want you to do great I want everybody to Great are you ever intimidated by Gaston weather in elect like Elon Musk was intimidating talking to him you are oh yeah my fucking dummy man but like talking to Sky I'm like I'm a fucking Champ here's a question his cool

► 02:05:30

Rockets into space is drilling holes under the ground had to double down Las Vegas or cities

► 02:05:51

so here's my take on it right I'm watching musk right and he basically is opening up to you about how he's not happy right this moment where he's like how do you say something to offend of us is exactly that means he doesn't want to be him on some level she doesn't want to be here bright and

► 02:06:17

she's so with these guys that we admire because they're so brilliant they have all these brilliant ideas and where we're putting this Matrix of we're all in the success Matrix on some level right where it's like get things done good. They're getting some dad right

► 02:06:34

I wonder if if he's chimp Ash in that he's potentially wasting his life being

► 02:06:44

upset or are miserable when he could be focusing on things that would give them Joy at being a fucking chip is being so smart that you don't even try to just be happy and focus on your happiness I don't necessarily think he's unhappy but I do think that he puts himself into situations where are the amount of stress and he absorbs is almost unfathomable like we was trying to get the Tesla Model 3 production rate schedule ramped up him sleeping on the floor of the factory and working literally working like 19 20 hours a day that that's untenable you can only do that for short periods of time but I think that what I was saying about Kanye West applies to him tenfold he's he's got a power output that's extraordinary different than the average person that's one thing she was talking about when he was young I mean you could probably put him on some sort of a I don't want the Super Genius spectrum is

► 02:07:44

what's what's Albert Einstein what's with this guy with that guy he's in there somewhere in this crazy Realm of the way your brain works like I think they are like the body parts some people and some people got giant Hogs and that's just a fact and I think braids

► 02:08:11

it just works better it just it just is operating on a level that you and I can't we can comprehend but I never voted a God damn thing in my life but I'm driving around Elon musk's car around a motherfuker made a car and that's like some shity doesn't decide you know his car thing is like after he invented PayPal and by the way while he's doing the car he shoot Rockets into space drilling holes into the ground is trying to move traffic on the ground or cities like he's he's hooking up Australia with these massive solar panel power battery plants and fucking fix their energy needs he's he's on another level no doubt on another level it's a different thing but so is he happy

► 02:08:59

imagine that was the problem shooting his fucking flamethrower in my foyer he was happy he's unboxing it in the middle of the hallway out here there's a picture of him standing in front of the freak party sign blowing Flames out a smile on his face you can't tell me he's not happy bro there's this business fucking guy forget his name is dr. Rupp Rupp I or some like I said his friends Consulting is like such a fucking genius music decoded cultures night and every culture has

► 02:09:59

toad in heat people hire him to consult and like America's code is the verb has to do when the time is now right and we're just kids at the end of the day it's like everything we will pick tits in America right back surgeries big tits and like France most popular product surgery is getting tips for reduced write everything about them is like Precision in like I read the most popular plastic surgery, now but maybe the one you have to go under the dark one don't fuk with your lips label I like it when they get a little upset that not the fucking because I knew you had a little something you see the the thing in there it's like it's like let you know there are extra needy there's like something going on and wanted lips to beat you know there's like a symmetrical proportion that your face is supposed to fall into this Fibonacci sequence of numbers I have you get a nose job I look at you and I got what's wrong with his

► 02:10:59

like something is wrong a registers wrong in my head because your face is like re had like a small Irish persons knows he'd be like what is happening here it's the same make any sense for his face they match how far your eyes are apart right nose is we see a girl and still tiny little skinny thing with little fingers and also I just got these big weird lips don't lie like things that like stand out like we like skinny with big tits we do it right with a hundred things are abnormal my speaker because it represents viability it represents your ability to breastfeed a child right which is attractive to your jeans doesn't make any sense that you would know that there's a bag of water underneath

► 02:11:59

scan the chit a tube down her throat tape to her face she's half-dead they're cutting a roll pin with a sharp knife and stuffing this bag of water under the meat of her breast tissue or they're cutting your nipple off and opening up like a fucking manhole cover pumping that fucker in there it's crazy like we know that that's what happened and we still think it's hot all those things are nuts about it bothers me when it's a butt but it's a fake but the girl could lift weights at the gym and make your tits bigger and she went and got fake tits and wouldn't like him as much is it throws you off if it doesn't match the legs leg of a girl's got a big butt right

► 02:12:59

I said that in my head but I never said these Peaches Geldof I guess I like girls with look like it's hot

► 02:13:20

drones carrying me routes going to get tired man but I like girls that are athletic or so if a girl's got a big ass cuz she's squatting that's hot for girls get a big ass cuz she went through surgeon like that you're going to get cancer has cancer now do you know that she cases of but can't jack that's what you like talking about son that's power that is stunts like trying to fuck up crossfitters fist

► 02:14:01

and I'm saying like the power must have a look at that butt cheeks yeah I don't know like that it's Doug girls in a mini skirt but she's not flexing spell it's hot as fuck you so you're into a very strong I like good genes does that mean I mean this girl hydromat stacked a girl stacked the only problem with those gals is that there is a reality to certain levels of musculature that most likely achieved by injecting male hormones

► 02:14:41

check the klitz can I get bigger whatever have you ever seen that okay and then I work at this this level of athleticism there's a certain line that there are they are crossing but most likely is because of male hormones there's there's some level that they grow some hair Jiu-Jitsu girls there's a lot of Jiu Jitsu girls that are compatible with the girls that start doing a little bit of steroids that should I take a little bit of testosterone like a friend of mine's wife was doing it I was like yeah Ike's you songs like yeah she's really she's competing and she's starting to take a lot little bit of testosterone is like

► 02:15:41

food really rough but they got this big dangling clip-on big when they go whole-hog like when they go bodybuilder how they'll bodybuilder way back in the day, but yeah it's a little too strong the clit itches. Can you pull it up a little. Enlarged clit you know. It's exactly what I'm saying search to look up

► 02:16:41

what do you mean you're not good but it's not good it's not real yeah I know it's not real but you want to be able to tell can you tell no but I feel like we should have some Watermark who did that one down there

► 02:16:57

yeah that's what happens in Israel Israel

► 02:17:04

how about that one of the lower right-hand upper right-hand corner The Dark One Jamie the blow that how you like me now bro that's not that's not a girl that's cool what about the happening there looks like a witch finger that is gnarly man that's photoshopped real free porn girls take a lot of testosterone do develop in large clit there was a a show on HBO back in the day I think it was called private dicks but it wasn't like that girls

► 02:18:04

Dillashaw that's lyrics pretty looking though she wasn't Flexin tell D2 couple sandwiches

► 02:18:11

let's get out of there that's that's enough we're going to start vomiting and one of the people on it but anyway it was this lady was talking about she became a transman bite through taking a massive amounts testosterone her clit grow she said to the size of a thumb

► 02:18:36

yeah because they're taking I don't even understand how my levels of testosterone to sort of achieve that they get hair in their face their voice DPS you know they get broader and sicker and they keep a lot of that to your clit is just a cock essentially right to the doctor yes that made me feel comfortable to look at my boyfriend okay friend of mine she was pretty feminine

► 02:19:36

but she had a clit like a pinky its way he described it and then he pull their pants down and then fucking panicked and then said oh my God I have to pick my friend up at the airport fuck I can't believe this any just an excuse is I got a pic of the dude panicked he went into a full-blown panic and just ran out he couldn't deal with her clit

► 02:19:58

I mean it gets to a certain size where that site push it to the handle all your banner it's like the the reins on a horse like you're hanging on to it where you banging her it's just that the random shape of the human body and how we've decided that this is what's appealing right now or glass figure she'll be good at like the big ass and all that fat around that area means she's got a plenty plenty of nutrients for the trial but right wide hips and directly connected to fertility its nature that scotlac there's a reason why the standard that men are

► 02:20:58

after when it comes to women is directly connected to Mexico if it's not sexist it's not hateful it's not in any way objectifying or maybe we're supposed to objectify to create people I think there's a really good shape one of the things that you admire is it that girl's got she's got discipline and power I go girls hitting the gym all the time and working out that's a girl gets things done like if you see a girl and she's lazy and her body is just like soft doughy slick skinny fat complain a lot going to need a lot of naps blown up after this kid he have to get things done complain you don't want to stay home and stop

► 02:21:58

your body reject that because you know that this girl I got the shit hits the fan and a fucking apocalypse comes going to take your children go to the mountains I can carry your own weight I like a guy who can carry your own weight and you can't do that if you're carrying a big old clit all day

► 02:22:22

you got bleed stuck to it shift it look like imagine if women had dicks and men had pussies and we were just really into big dicks to his just as possible arbitration soundtrack dirty to me. It's very strict kissing while they do it's really weird

► 02:23:22

change little creature it's so weird that's why we like nature stuff because it like it puts into perspective how fucked up humans are is that him giving birth to that's how I come we get back without that kick back and shotgun that you got me stuck in there when I'm little baby seahorses like how many forever cuz he's the last of them is like the last one or two times he like he's one guy but there's nothing coming out

► 02:24:08

babies are those are sperm babies that have sex with each other that would be inside of his body did I imagine all natural no no no no no no she said they have to do it like maybe they have small hips to Giant baby inside you and a little tiny pussy

► 02:24:50

tell Chris I am fascinated by it went like if you ever seen that guy the guy from Game of Thrones The Mountain when she sang Let's Hear old is in comparison to mail oh he is smoking that dude how is that humanly possible that that works she's as beautiful little tiny creature and he is one of the biggest human being on the planet he's packing I don't think he's packing you talkin about he's got a big dick like everything else you see on him if he didn't have a dick like that you'll be stunned by the size of his hands shoulders he probably has a small seal in his pants

► 02:25:44

Is Good t-shirts a strong mother fucker size dick big giant elephant trunk oh wow I don't sign the peace man if you had a piece of Vikings there's a reason why he's that big no bulshit that is Viking DNA it's just the best DNA from the world and they have a sword and they couldn't wait to jump off that fucking boat and start hacking people to bet that's why that's why Iceland the device that a whole piece on Iceland attack but all the Strongman Competition winners that live in Iceland okay they're all Vikings man it's Viking DNA really

► 02:26:44

okay but isn't Viking DNA okay we went to Italy we raped some chicks in Italy we bring them back bring back the best of the ones who survived all these battles this is a swinging swinging accident Survivor did on these strong man in Iceland it's crazy that are just smashing pussy and lifting weights and throwing fucking beer barrels over the top of chain link fences there's a huge there's a apparently there's a nap in Iceland to make sure you don't fuck your family member that asked

► 02:27:34

this phone sometimes in Spanish with a drum by the beat a drum phone give me a pace to go to damn that's a crazy crazy race of humans but I'd like to go there just to see the Northern Lights it's one of the things that I've been thinking I think like I think they're their president or something was like a huge Stanhope then they likes good stand-up to like a massive

► 02:28:34

Solera they were good man like no English they're like KFC there rules for food are super like high so it's like the best chicken tenders you've ever had as many people as Boulder Colorado is going to be some grits McDonald's is going to work in the Northern Lights you look at Northern Lights and you're like oh I completely get why people believe in God like you can't not that make sense you look in the sky and it's painting itself you're going to believe what they think it was

► 02:29:34

under buttocks explanation they have for the Northern Lights not like people trying to explain it was like that it's more just like Dirk Nowitzki

► 02:30:08

cuz I got to do

► 02:30:10

she just a famous photographer perhaps

► 02:30:14

try to fart yeah photography by Travis Nowitzki yeah I think that's what it is I think I think I've seen his yeah I think he does a lot of nature shit

► 02:30:25

yep how could you not know how do you blame anybody for believing in something bigger than yourself in the Bahamas and you see the power of a fucking hurricane we are that goes away when you know at the blink-of-an-eye your house everything you work for is gone because of wind and water Holy Ship to Europe is going to climate change but wasn't supposed to get hotter I don't know what that means like why is it saying but go to that article why is it saying that

► 02:31:12

doing right now. What was that scroll down scroll down to the US Central Europe and much of the u.s. I didn't know that much of the u.s. northernlion that's just you know sometimes Alaska I have not but yeah there's a that fucking big storm is hitting Central us today right to marketing dude is it going to be dark like that even that term is so dumb right it's a normal day

► 02:32:10

yeah but what's crazy is it it's more common to be cut your dick it's more, that a dick is sliced off when you're a baby take the cap off. It is what's why didn't your parents cut your cock when you were born what about the top of the head cut that off it's like there's this describing about Nescafe broke into the Japanese Market if you heard about this and it's like they went to this Consulting there ask him how do we get in and he's like you can't get in and what you mean to say is going to be fifteen years that we talked about hang us well they don't know what the fuck coffee is over there okay you're trying to be to your Nazi so what you need to do is you're going to make a cartoon and you going to spend some few million on that and then you can make a cake

► 02:33:10

Andy based on a cartoon and then at Candy's going to be flavored as coffee and when these kids grow up

► 02:33:19

they're going to have this memory of coffee in the flavor of a smell of coffee and I did last week they just open the biggest Starbucks in the world in Tokyo and these people devour coffee like no other any ideas like the take away from me the reason why I tell the story all times like change comes from underneath you and I think his name is and he's a book or something I'll call the culture code my buddy's doing like a series with him trying to bring it down but the ideas like if you want to change any reason why did my show on YouTube if you want to change any industry or something like that it's never going to come within the traditional structure remains like

► 02:34:01

I would never be able to do the type of jokes I was doing on on maybe you are in The Bigs can but me they be like I don't that jokes about you know trans people you can do that said she was like if I want to make it okay I got to do it outside you don't have to go a little bit outside of the industry and make it okay and way they were thinking was painless get underneath and just fucking grow these ideas in how we fight Wars over ideas all-time brightest like people understand oh shit if people start believing in Socialism or whatever the new thing they want us to be afraid of now they believe it and it sounds good enough don't want it so we got to nip this in the bud Vietnam Vietnam super complicated it depending on who you ask it most likely was about heroin a lot of you think about the heroin trade billions and billions and billions and billions of dollars controlling the heroin trade really did the spread of this ideology

► 02:35:01

yeah I understood that over there there's all sorts of positive aspects to most of the ideas that they push right right is positive aspects of trying to stop terrorism is positive aspects of trying to stop radical fundamentalist from taking over parts of the world than radicalizing segment of the population and making these terrorist cells and attacking cities and doing a lot of things we know really do happen. That's true but what's also true it's a hotbed for heroin so it's a win-win there's a Geraldo Rivera segment on Fox News wear Geraldo Rivera was talking to soldiers who were guarding poppy fields and they were explaining that the u.s. soldiers had to guard the fucking heroin because this is how they got these Afghani Farmers to cooperate against the radical fundamentalist that were running these religious

► 02:36:01


► 02:36:02

watch this shit put the headphones on

► 02:36:06

fighting the opium trade

► 02:36:13

was the easy part the hard work they are in the population problem what's. Now we are getting heavy with pain

► 02:37:13

this is disagree or I were talking about early in the War what was that from I want to say that it's probably from 2005 yeah dude this is doesn't get this is the gray right this is hey this is how a country makes its money there's it's not just that someone's profiting there's fucking Millions for their cheap someone is profiting I do not know where the money is all going but there are

► 02:37:43

dollars involved in heroin billions people are buying it all over the world 90-something percent of it comes from Afghanistan do the math

► 02:37:54

just do the math we're still there and Sturgill Simpson wrote a bit about it I wrote a song about it and they play that song on Saturday Night Live and I don't even think they knew what the fuck the song was about he's up there playing a song about the government being involved in the heroin trade there was something to it there's some in any salads conspiracy theory stop

► 02:38:20

stop there really is billions of dollars in heroin being grown in Afghanistan the production of heroin really did ramp up considerably and US invasion is it possible that this is their Commerce and country singer goes on SNL exposes Afghan heroin trade and no one even noticed That's my boy but it's just the same way like some communities fish this community plants poppies and they perhaps what are they doing with all that money that's the question

► 02:38:58

I don't know what they're doing I don't know I just can't imagine someone is not getting cut of this and I can't imagine there's no mainstream investigative work that's being done to sort of exposes I don't know I mean I might be wrong minutes farmers are not making all the money maybe the money's all gone a drug dealers and we we let that happen every cool but the world is fucked bro and cream man it's like every time I see what he's stupid Senate hearings weather like did you do some bad things in South America

► 02:39:37

yeah that should happens when Trudeau was involved in that thing and like I was Italy Libya you know like when they're bribing you hear about this Trudeau from Scandal up there in Canada because he was involved with this company which is a combat company that was the day like 36 million dollars to bribe the Libyan government for like some contracts and it's like over there by the government for contracts and these people in the clean garlic how could he is against his policies and welcome to the real world you are operating in the one percent of the world which has these rules we just made the fuk up a fairness and equality and equity in all this bullshit it's like the real world I'd like to do this can I give you some money and we make it happen Geraldo Rivera welcome to heroin Fields talk no General

► 02:40:32

yeah I mean it would be nice if everywhere we like America but I don't know if that's what's really fucked-up write like with this fairphone shitt I don't know if that gets done I don't know if I don't know if you get an iPhone unless it's getting made by someone is making $5 a week but I don't know if you do and if you do how much does it cost tons what is it like $3,000 how much does it cost how much is it to pay like you already struggling you already got two kids and I mean like the bills to pay like you going to spend $3,000 when you are ready we're operating for a place where we have some excess people trying to make it and you see happening right now it's like every platform for the Dems on some level is hear some money we should look into reparations here's some money or some money

► 02:41:32

just giving money right now that's one of the reasons why for hard-working people to Republicans are so attractive even though a lot of people they fall into lower-income Community like that is Rich Katz they would think they would be looking to have big business succeed but the message is that you roll up your sleeves and you get to work and that you work hard you don't get a free ride and they like that that's also one of the reasons why people that are Republicans are more likely to be involved in churches in a lot of church-going organizations cuz that's where their community community support instead of getting community support from the government and community support from local churches so you have your support you have your missing with atheists yes community and their miserable

► 02:42:32

never met this happy there vegans stop convincing me the guy just don't if you believe it we're good you don't need to convince me if you are trying to convince me because you don't believe it but something they don't believe it it's just that they're lying from their overzealous dude what do people who are always I was overcompensating for something right lot of times what are you over, same floor with. Cuz you know she is bigger than you cuz you fucking look up sometimes you look at the stars me like something's up. I don't know what it is I don't know if it's God I don't know what's going on but you are minuscule and that's hard for people to take man it's like cuz the religion that they they see you so offensively stupid

► 02:43:25

I mean it was a funny thing that happened the other day where Pete Davidson joke on SNL forgiveness people he made a joke about the number one kid fucking organization to world how hot does it get in worrying about jokes the fact that you basically run a kid fucking organization that also sells Jesus Cafe and yes they see a lot of people

► 02:44:06

dates to give people community give people a place to connect connect a time in history and were the most fucking disconnected think about that we got a million friends on your Facebook and all these other things and people are lonely because we're connected with electronic devices connected to outcome connected to this picture I post get enough likes yeah right that's where they really fucked people with likes you figured out how to get people like supremely addicted to interactions and exchanges and likes you don't like you know movies at 4 in the morning wake up in smoke a cigarette right like that was what the movies we watched coming up and that was the first thing that the bad ass or something like that did the movie wake up onto the pack and it will be look at your phone's mentions there's going to be some of that that's what these characters do

► 02:45:05

so it's like what are you do you have kids do take do you say know how do you how do you teach your kid I don't have to turn on no but like I think about this all the time how do I teach my kid to not put his whole fucking value in the hands of involving Sports cuz you learn you learned reality if you don't get that ball in the net it does not score you know there's no points for effort has no you don't doesn't work that way you got to learn what real life is and you got to learn that there is it's feels uncomfortable to fail but that uncomfortable feeling that you get his Fuel and then you let your kids or face my kids to do Sports you know that they've been involved in athletics and some form of its martial arts or gymnastics since they were little they do things are difficult we do stuff as a family of difficult we do like Escape

► 02:46:05

we play games we do things are hard I don't let them win I mean my little one I let her win sometimes and stuff like we play carnival games against each other or something like that a little carnival games that we could go to like a circus circus like when I was in Vegas stays in Vegas for this thing to my daughter was doing so I took my youngest daughter Circus Circus Plains carnival games okay I let her beat me a bunch of times

► 02:46:29

but that's where I'm fun laughing and being silly talk trash to each other to yes she high-fives me and stuff is fun but I think there's value in learning that it sucks to lose because that makes you reassess like what you did that the other person did better and how do I beat them dance like we were talking about weed but we'd making you nervous and makes me paranoid like I like that what I like is like I'm entirely too successful I like to feel vulnerable I think this is a lot of good to that and I don't like legitimately I like that feeling because it makes me it makes me more connected makes me more humble what do you mean we are too successful for you start thinking that you're different than other people you know it's you thinking that you're something special if you're on a path right if everybody's on a path and you start up here and then x amount of years later you

► 02:47:29

better than all those motherfukers but you're not you're just you just have been on this path longer and you haven't fallen off of it you figured out what you need to do to stay on that path we know a lot of people that were on the path at one time in their career and then something happened they lost their enthusiasm of the body wasn't it healthy or whatever the fuck happened and they dropped off I'm still on that path cuz I figured it out what is it going keep going don't be a pussy keep working improve objectively and loved your performance look at what you're doing wrong treat everything with respect treat all of your endeavors with focus and intensity intention look at what you're doing then and pay attention and do the work do the goddamn work do the writing do the perform to me I'll do it for $0.05 a night in LA and I'm doing 15 20 minutes half hour I'll do an hour here I go down the ice house to do an hour's ice house and do two shows the ice house tomorrow night

► 02:48:29

excuses I go and I was like the way I've got it set up as great my kids go to bed by the time I kids are in bed I leave you out and I say goodnight I'm in I'm out the door I'm headed to the club I'm home in 4 hours you know and when I'm when I'm done I get front of the computer in my right eye right I get up in the morning I see him off to school go back to sleep while I go to the gym I get things done keep moving my job is the task it's like my job is I'm trying to like right now it's the most exciting time for me in my career Arc my my my, ER cuz my comedy artist put out special very exciting when you putting out a special but then the most exciting time is my special came out in October so then those months afterwards where it's this mad rush to create a new solidifying perspectives and Hauling material and

► 02:49:29

uncovering do layers and looking at it reanalyzing it stepping back and listening to a drunk and listening to it sober and and and and smoking weed and going over it again and just spending time Mash in the keys spending time looking at the notes you can type stuff you can cuz you can get out your thoughts way quicker than you can writing writing makes you remember it better that I remember better when you're right it down physically on paper so if you look at my notebooks a maniac I write the same thing over and over cuz I'm just writing down my set Parts the bits that I have them solid in my brain my writing in terms of like my most prolific creation of things that I never thought of before comes out right in with a keyboard writing on a computer you speak but I don't have to

► 02:50:29

a'right a'right flesh a form jaral de Rivera in the poppy seeds I would smoke a joint that would sit down and I would just go around to Rivera with his porn mustache strolling around these trained killer is in Afghanistan wearing his goofy ass fucking tie dye bright I want to know how those dudes think about protecting America while they're also simultaneously protecting hair when we going and going and going to go on and I might type out a few thousand words and then when I go back I might have two lines or or or a seed then I'll take that seat on stage and I'll try to see if

► 02:51:29

the water that bitch or if it it's toxic right I don't know you don't know how long will you give the toxic fit depends depends on the bed some days are just juicy right out of box some bits he just started mopping like oh we got one today like

► 02:51:46

what are the ones that don't work but you know there's something there. All you see that I don't want you water intensity depends on what's there for me like I had this bit about Bruce Jenner like what really happened like with Bruce Jenner and try to figure out how do I make fun of this guy becoming woman how do I do like how do I how do I figure out how to do this and the way to do it for me was to make fun of myself living with all women cuz I have a wife and I have three daughters and then like this flawless feminine energy around me and like that they did diminish my manhood tell that I had this like you know I've never been but more of a bitch my life I'm telling this I'm not going out like Bruce Jenner and the whole thing was that people are loyal

► 02:52:46

maybe maybe maybe if you live with crazy bitches long enough and you fucking there, okay about becoming like these gargoyles and hovering over his bed and talking to him while he's sleeping and he's

► 02:53:10

yeah there's not something I would love people would love for people to know I'm a I do the show called inside jokes I just get Comics to come and we take our most divisive premises and don't work and we work it out together yeah we so cool with you man with his problem is most famous bit as well spent one of his most famous bit I love black people I hate and work today is one of his most popular all time busy told me he bombed that for a year so I couldn't couldn't get it to work but Chris is a special that he left so he could go work on that set at the strip

► 02:54:03

wow so that's work right I got to do math to become one of the biggest animals of all time by the same position of the exhaust look at it you can talk with him it's like he's like a joke version of The Rock You know it's all behind the Jets and hitting the gym and then and fucking concerts in front of 50 million people that's the same shipment like this isn't an accident accident exposed the ones that are faking the funk boy that's the reason why Netflix took out the fucking thumbs-up thumbs-down you know all that shit and stuff like this in their specials that have been on comedy on HBO

► 02:55:03

have this thumbs up thumbs down. Which two people do game but the reality that thumbs-up thumbs-down is you get to see what the fuck people really think absolutely 100% real how many thumbs-up and thumbs-down have you ever clicked on right so certain subset of the population is thumbs up and thumbs and it's like comments but it's something about like someone left like a like a 3 it's like what the what's up people fancy themselves to be like Foodies in a journalist you know exploring the

► 02:56:03

chances of Cuisine is good when you see a guy like Andrew Zimmerman travel around the world doing that or you see Anthony Bourdain or a lot of these people you think I want to be like that for culture that is like it was more than just weird to like carrots, I would say a tuna

► 02:56:49

handsome fella gorgeous boots bill

► 02:56:54

anyway yeah I don't know why the fuk they're leaving these things but it's still doing it with stars right was it stars with Netflix they pulled the star system too bad I had a lot of motherfukers stars bitch you give them an address and added value to give Netflix the added value and the certain people that want the value from it's also their documenting some of the greatest stand-up specials in the history of stand up like the Chappelle specials done recent ones he did there putting that stuff out there and they're doing it in a way where no one else would do it like HBO which was the gold standard for the longest time it would never do to Dave Chappelle specials at the same time Netflix is like okay will do in the belly Room comedy store David so ridiculous about it

► 02:57:54

Dave and I went downstairs while he was doing this while we're downstairs in the smoking area of The Comedy Store on high as fuck and he was so casual about the bird after I get during his special being taped he's offering me a guess that he's like you know he still shows up he'll fly to places and show up and just do guess that then I was in Denver I come out the Green Room Friday night shift bells are in Chappell's in the greenroom a Joe what are you doing that match feel like coming to Denver is like a fuck it so I bring them up on stage the audience is leaving they're leaving at and I'll come back

► 02:58:54

he's like he's doing it for the art he's not doing it cuz he's making any money cuz he did a free 40 minutes show for these people that came there to see me and he said it's like true with him man he's a perfect example of which is being true he'll show up Monday night at The Comedy Store in front of 13 people and a half an hour from a 13 people and he'll drink and I smoke cigarettes and I'll talk shit and laugh at his own jokes and everybody has like the one the most magical experiences as a as a audience member you could ever happen cuz I was young, can New York in there was a place called The Comedy Village which was the Boston Bomber in this is Young like bark and asking people to come in off the street and

► 02:59:54

how old were you when you started 2323 and comes in and out

► 03:00:00

he gets on stage there's probably 13 people on the crap and the fucking word gets out and you just see people start slowly graphic goldfish sound like how many sets of braids coming in the pond and the place was packed within like 20 minutes outside what's Pro on real dude wasn't like I'm doing Vietnam murder in the whole time he has this ability to make the audience comfortable intention so that it is not anxiety-inducing right what he can do is talk to you for 5 minutes straight without a punchline as an audience member you're not going on my God this is like this is kind of funny that was when he

► 03:01:00

he was doing that for a while doing scheduled shows all he was doing was he's Poppins and not only that but he he brought a fuckin speaker and set up a microphone in the park in Seattle

► 03:01:13

outdoor outdoor really did that early on yeah I was there a New York at club soda and after we got out we went outside and Dave just said they were like what in the fuck it was probably like 20 so yeah, yep and like can you imagine a more hostile environment for stand up the New York City Park

► 03:01:58

you compete with guys doing front flips over Swedish tourist some cigarettes that's it strength training it's like running with weights on question is how do we do that like how do you find that the the the more successful you get when you have people that are coming to see you no matter what where do we get our strength training where do we get operating

► 03:02:33

owner of all feel nervous I do it all night like I joke around on stage about how I take Edibles when I go to the airport cuz I like feeling I want to know what the fuck's really bothering me but it's really true I really do do that I took an edible when I fly so I can freak out because you're too comfortable with this weird thing out of that freaking out like I'll find out where the holes in my game mental game that's what's really bothering me and then things that freak me out that I don't like about myself I work on them I fix them by going to visit the wizard do not visit the wizard I wonder if this comes from having a fighting background because the one thing about fighting it is if you have a hole in your game it's exposed in the most brutal way everything else in life you can ignore

► 03:03:33

the holes in your game you can just tell her they they were just busy

► 03:03:45

you better patch up those holes bitch maybe that's what it is with stand up I think that's what it is with me just that's my formula I mean I'll recommend it to everybody cuz everybody has the same personality like you might not have those same deficiencies like it actually might be psychologically damaging to some people to get as high as I get to know I can buy fuck with your head too much we don't come back from but I come back like a nice person but I'm in the same throes of fucking Agony that a lot of people I want to get too high or purposely fucking yourself

► 03:04:21

yeah I purposely freaked myself the fuck out yeah and you know but I know it works I like doing it I like doing it because I always benefit from it I feel like I come back from those little paranoid Journeys like a little bit of a better person I think he's been responsible along with other psychedelics and becoming a father all those things may be a better person may be a nice person may be more compassionate more understanding more friendly more understanding is the big one more more just I get it I don't want to be confident all the time I don't want to always be successful act like you know good that's all they want but they have an experience the other side of the coin and then they have an audience right if you have an audio

► 03:05:21

part of the problem is we've all seen this one, it's become really successful they they work to their own crowd and they don't do SATs yeah they don't do a set like I'll do it the store you'll do it where there's like 10 people on the line right right right and I want to hit them hard and you know it was fucking chip look at what's he going to say whatever their biases is I got to figure out a way to soothe in the best way to do that is you going to perform in hostile environments occasionally also critical man so critical only way to get Joey Diaz on the road with me man I would tell people they would get white in the face then what ideas did

► 03:06:21

Joey Diaz in front of 6,000 people Joey Diaz open for you and you ain't seen me at the Chicago theater for 3,700 people and the fucking lights are dimming like they're they're in pain and pain that you never seen him lie there so I really wanted to and I was in LA to set it up tomorrow I'll find out I'll ask him there was a goat I never seen anybody he might not be the best Rider he might not have the most consistently crafted hours but in terms of the highest highs that mother fucker breaks through the Magneto sphere and he he wiggles out into the outer atmosphere of space like no one here

► 03:07:21

cease high is where you like comics comics work are crying like holding your stomach crying and he's screaming and yelling and is like you ain't seen nothing like it man he was so sweet I wrote about I put it on my Instagram the other day he Crush so hard and I can't even say what he was talking so hard and it was such controversial material so Unapologetic good

► 03:07:54

any one point time people like what the mosquitoes what do you want from me I'm almost dead. Give a fuk I mean dying I don't think there's ever been a person for I've seen everybody dude I seen everybody from Rock to Chappell the Louis CK I watch Sam Kinison when he was alive I saw Bill Hicks Muse alot I opened up to follow Pryor when he was dying when it when it look for 5 weeks in a row that's a Pryor live I've seen everybody live at Saint Martin Lawrence in his in his prime people forget off on Martin Lawrence was he was distraught I saw him back when he's wearing leather jumpsuits who constantly last man that was another joke Joe is on another level who is who's your toughest follow

► 03:08:47

Joey without a doubt you got a ride that wave but that's what's good about is like if you are if you are funny and you working on your stuff and you and you enjoy comedy you go onstage already laughing on stage already in a good mood going on after scrubs and there's a lot of guys that are good, but they like to bring scrubs in the row with him and then they get settled in and that easy sort of a sermon exactly there's a lot I got to do that man don't take guys in a row with him the really are barely professionals here and these guys are feeling theaters and they're bringing week Axe and a force this audience to sit through a half an hour of bullshit and before they go on stage and then there's guys who don't do it like that they they just like I don't know I don't know who was doing it that way before I was doing

► 03:09:47

but my thought was like if a guy makes me nervous when I go on after and that's going to make me wrap it up like I don't I don't walk onstage cold I'm backstage throwing punches and doing jumping jacks I'm doing breathing exercises are guns blazing to Joey Diaz when he hits that Crescendo ready. When you came into the store remember I was about to ask you something and you are on the wall and then you just fold it in half and touch your toes and I like what the fuck is loosen up I figured out that over the overtime you just walk on stage and everything will be fine for you walk on stage with it already you got some attention yeah I guess I'm as I got to remind myself out of certain things to get up there the most important thing I learned is reminding myself that this crowd was

► 03:10:47

at the last show like you sometimes you would take that energy from the early show yeah you know I always appreciate the audience's attention span and that's something that I've really learned from Boston and Boston it's cold as fuck the women aren't the prettiest in the world and people are angry yeah they got to work in the morning is that a animated birthday to say I want to look at a city to the lender, Dean some food right the first city of Boston has this city produced so much funny what is it

► 03:11:47

one-liners whatever she is from the area New Hampshire somebody that right but like there's something about the region that no matter what style

► 03:12:05

you see you funny come from here where you're from an area of what what part of Boston from the city or what would he ask Rose born in New Jersey but all throughout my high school years everything I lived in Boston what the fuck is it about this city area coldest it's colder than Minnesota so it's too cold

► 03:12:39

need to be warm enough for you outside all so well you know it's a scene it's like a scene has to be established to because Boston does not have seen it used to have in the 80s right but La has a better seen than ever and scenes are fluid the common the go and I Denver has a scene and they have a scene because of Wendy who who owns a, County work today but there's there's different places that have scenes and Barry crimmins and Lenny Clarke and Steve Sweeney and Don Gavin Al's got that were part of the Ding Ho in the 1980s and Steve was on my podcast seen the end because they were all competing with each other for spots on The Tonight Show and all these different little venues that they created a monster Dynamic where all these young guys were coming up following these killers and I was very fortunate to be one of those guys and that's why I wanted to talk to Steven tell him that on the shows like I saw them I saw that guy murder

► 03:13:39

murder to the Pooh nobody was watching in terms of like the national audience was just Boston but he would go on stage at Nick's comedy stop and level the crowd level that like a fucking hydrogen bomb dropped in the middle of the room just killing is The Miz test for murdering is different you know what else comes up in New York and I had to follow you know recipes Mike DeStefano you know your Barnes guys it may be in a household names but the god Greer first beast king shows to get weed colleges to get back on the road wave in the 90s if if you want to know at least for me if you want to know what Chappelle is Chappell is Tony Woods in Greer he is a Tony bottoni is unfathomable like he's the gremlin that popped off a both of their backs if you could hold them to go

► 03:14:39

like everything that is amazing about Tony and amazing about Greer that's how it is that's how it is with everything we need each other you know that's why when I see you coming up good thank you I'm happy you're around I'm I like it I like comedy if I stop doing comedy tomorrow I want more comedy to watch I love lot I love laughing I sit down and watch Joey Diaz I fucking love, here you know and it has new material all the fucking time you go see Joey now you see him for months from now you'll see a whole new set yeah I got to see Joey while I'm out here he's the best man let me know if he's doing his watch him I'm going to try to see if maybe I'll see it, store

► 03:15:39

Club version of the scholarship show all right I forgot I have a set of the store I guess I have to

► 03:15:57

hey I just got let's wrap this up Andrew thank you maybe go Skyler Stone

► 03:16:06

all right beautiful alright motherfukers that's it tell everybody where to find your shit YouTube youtube.com the Andrew Schulz you check out a few Schultz yet and you're supposed to take an OT in Shelton, I appreciate you

► 03:16:40

thank you everybody for tuning in to the show and thank you to Traeger Grills thank you even before they were a sponsor I fucking love cooking on their grills they are the shit they're fantastic is super well-engineered they retain heat and regulate heat perfectly and you could do everything with these goddamn things have been around for 30 plus years over 100,000 hours of tests cooking to get to the moment they're releasing this new product which is coming out tomorrow on 3:15 but right now the what they have now which will I have I fucking love them through amazing find a dealer or shop now a traegergrills.com Joe thank you also to my bookie you can gamble on a lot of shit at my bookie including March Madness is happening right now brackets first round upsets the final four mybookie will match your deposit with a 50% bonus

► 03:17:40

up to $1,000 use the promo code Rogan to activate the offer visit mybookie. AG today you play you win you get paid only at mybookie. AG all right we did it that's it thank you all appreciate you must I Try by