#1192 - Tony Hinchcliffe

The Joe Rogan Experience #1192 - Tony Hinchcliffe

October 31, 2018

Tony Hinchcliffe is a stand-up comedian, writer, and actor. Tony also hosts his own podcast called “Kill Tony” with Redban, and it’s available on iTunes and and YouTube at: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCwzCMiicL-hBUzyjWiJaseg

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ladies and gentlemen the Great and Powerful Joey Diaz has a comedy special out right now on Netflix it's called the degenerates it's streaming right now you can get it it's fucking awesome he's the best and my special is available right now to on Netflix it's called strange times and I think it's the best one I've ever done so Netflix go there check it out enjoy this episode of the podcast is brought to you by the cash app the cash app is the number one app in Finance on the App Store and what you might not know about it the cash app is also something you can put in your wallet with the cash card cash card is a customizable debit card that offers you instant rewards and comes packed with premium features not even a credit card can offer like boosts with Boost you can save up to 10% at Whole Foods Chipotle or Shake Shack and many of your favorite spots or even a dollar off coffee every time you swipe your cash card at coffee shops across the country and

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all right my guest is one of my best friend's a fucking hilarious stand-up comedian the host of The Kill Tony podcast one of the best joke writers in the country he also has Netflix special that's called One Shot actually I think his Netflix contract has run out some of those things they they license it for certain amount of time so

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you're fucked you can't get it that would you go see him live and he's a fucking fantastic, can a great guy please give it up for Tony Hinchcliffe

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The Joe Rogan Experience

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hello I'm smelling his weeds in 12 hours I'll be free I'm excited for you dude I didn't do shit for sober October do you stay drunk I didn't stay drunk I just had a drink or two pretty much every night would you ever consider doing some flights over October I mean like if I was a part of it all that promotional push that everybody's giving themselves hell yeah after the business Point that's the only reason I would do it everyday is good you know I've been cutting back on things naturally like I'm done with my like college Years of you know getting wasted at the store and things like that like it's like when you're also not smoking cigarettes anymore right I'm off cigarettes which helps a lot by the way you know I got to say for anybody out there that drinks and smokes the to correlate you quit one it's going to help with the other big guy spinning I'm just saying like cutting back on

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smoking cuz the to go so good together you are finding that those pens were really helping you that much huh the nicotine patch oh yeah I know I love them you were still you were saying that it's not the same it's not the same I mean when your ass mule of cigarettes and both of my parents smoked not my mom quit when she got pregnant with me and then started again like a year later and she would smoke like in the little do you know the little house that I grew up in and it was just always like my whole life was I was built to be a cigarette smoker too or probably smoking ciggies while banging making me I get this like I just love cigarettes I even still love the nice gust of second-hand smoke now that I'm a non-smoker it blows my mind hearing people all those years they are cigarettes staying or you forgot half of it I just love it it just makes me feel good it's a weird and I know it

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is that you or is that just cigarettes in general have a grip on people too dark ripped it really is so crazy cuz what else gives you nothing and takes everything and still it's just this is my favorite part of the day favorite part of the night after sex during coffee they said that Johnny Carson when he was on his deathbed was just rotting out from the inside he was just falling apart and it's like those God damn cigarettes that's one of the main reasons why I actually quit was reading about Johnny and yeah cuz it's sort of correlated I still go on runs every day pretty much every day short jogs and this and that to wake up and get the day started and there was a while there where I was I had a lot of like coffee but it was there and I have to clear my throat before going onstage and it started to get like it wasn't on stage but it started to creep up during work hours like it's like

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Joey Diaz Joseph

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never coffee painting black now I'll talk to people that have hocked up shit and it was black and he spit it on the ground they saw a black a black logi yeah why did you quit immediately 6 more years yeah but I like those damn cigarettes like this he just kept repeating it on his deathbed but they also talked about like how he was like swimming what you love to do and he just like couldn't do it anymore so it was like almost drowning all the time and stuff but he was just like he was out he was gone he just couldn't breathe and I went through a rough patch like not just that you ever read the divorce settlements that Johnny Carson to go through it was one of the most famous like divorce rapings where you just go oh my God like you find out how much he had to pay his ex-wife like oh Jesus

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Eddie Murphy had a bit about Johnny Carson's divorce in his act I think it was in raw did it I wanted to special yes it was that bad The National Enquirer but it says 220 Grand a month is not enough wow Carson's wife reject settlement and asks $220,000 a month in living expense 17 million is not enough she said at the top left the dirty 40 year old look I like that back then it's like a million a month closing honor that was the one we split up with he gives up fast life and is secretly seeing wife again but that's The Enquirer you know what I mean so that's that's the galley was married to that he had to give up 17 million bucks

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also was married to her for a long time how many times do you get married that seems like the same gal there

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most expensive world's most expensive divorce settlements Johnny Carson and Joanna Holland

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20 million inch it now we were going over some last night or yesterday on the podcast Steve Wynn gave up a billion what could she have possibly have done to earn that nothing there's nothing she could have done to the voodoo pussy so unless she had all the ideas and he's just not admitting it she started Casino you should have craps

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even then how about how much is a consultation fee worth a billion by the way he looks like he's wearing a mask in 24/7 unlikely for Steve Wynn crazy but like not all she's the one come see auras like Elizabeth Taylor who was stunningly beautiful when did you ever see who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf by Elizabeth Taylor was probably in her twenties I guess and she did that and she was just so beautiful but as she got older like shoes see if he could see that's that's a pretty good picture of

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did you see like her whole body and everything when she was just a bombshell and she was a bombshell and you know what was it the 50s or something like that like that picture of her black and white Under the second level where you see your body that's a real body to do they ain't no gym time there that's just straight-up genetics and whiskey

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was looking them that's just just his biology but then towards the end when she had been married and divorced don't show the old picture show me old pictures Google Elizabeth Taylor amount of times married

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because I believe she was married

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yeah I want to say it's like seven or eight times

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no fewer than 8 * 8 marriage is only seven husbands she married to Richard Burton twice her first marriage one of the areas of the hotelier that's weird word Hotel Conrad hotel end in divorce after less than a year while she got paid for all those that's its own business alright as fuck you know she was really successful as an actress she probably had the money in a lot of them because she was dating some guys that looked suspiciously homosexual and I don't like Liberace a homosexual like wait what box in 1963 is probably like 20 million bucks today what is a million dollars in 1963 worth today

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that's crazy that they do not much want a damn who whoever her agent is dig that motherfucker up that's it so yeah wow I thought it would be like 20 racing over this. Was 3.88% that some when you think I look like who's the top paid female today to Jennifer Lawrence maybe yeah what does she get she probably it's like 20 right I'm right at 15 so she shits on Elizabeth Taylor yeah but anyway she married a bunch of gay guys I think I see if you find out Elizabeth Taylor married gay guys cuz it was like always a stand up comedy joke that when I was first starting out I remember bunch of guys had jokes about Elizabeth Taylor

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Under Armour check out a joke about 2 but Elizabeth Taylor always marrying gay guys like not knowing like that she's so old and fucked up on pills she doesn't know the guy she's marrying a gay

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crazy I wonder why she would do that if I want companionship she was I think in the end there was rumors of substance abuse prolific prolific proliferate peripheral peripherally associated with these new stores I don't really know him that well you know I just remember reading something about substance abuse and drinking and yeah Dan is always rough man out for a lot of people bro those pain pills and everything kitchen the roughest of the rough man people who go out with those pain pill addiction Joey Diaz and I were talking yesterday about Prince you know he was he called me up and he was singing

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give me sing me that song do you want him or do you want me because I don't you because I'm stoned as a mother fucker right now listen to no problem thanks and God damn Prince was good and I was thinking about it like Prince was just one of the many greats that we lost a pain pills just real recently Tom Petty prince who else we we lost several several big-name powerful celebrities to pain pills Michael Jackson now he was propofol he was he was in pain pills he was that shit that they used to put people under yeah but he was in like a lot of pain right was not one of those things don't think so I think he was just so fucked up in the head so so he had so much anxiety that he he just couldn't sleep and I was just a mess man

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what does rumors that he was addicted to pain pills Michael Jackson come back thing at what time too so they got him out there dancing looking like a bag of bones pretty sure they said that the pro propofol is what killed now cuz I couldn't sleep you need to sleep and what that would he was doing is just getting sedated every night and that's the reason why is Doctor went to jail call up milk at the milk. And when he got on fire all that's right he cut his hair on fire for the pain from that well that's that's what happened to this guy that I know he he hurt himself doing construction and then Don's pills you know because he had a back injury they put them on pills and then life is over it's all it takes is one accident I've only taken a half of one pain pill one time and I know the exact day

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but it happened because it was the day that the WWE Network came out I had my wisdom teeth pulled and they're like take to take all these that you want on my God I don't really a yumberry reaction to pills Bubba boss but I saw but I was in a lot of pain so I'm like fuck it I'll take a half of one and man if I didn't go through that whole networks library that day this is a smile on my face to draw one out myself love and life just watching all the old stuff that I watched as a kid so fun to see it was the day the network came out it would be nice if pain pills didn't do anything bad to you they just fucked you up but

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no physical harm no addiction addiction addiction no physical harm people are always going to be a really weird shit but there's going to be addicted to things in that they can't quit doing them but addiction like in your bones it goes pain pills are they they feel it felt so good I remember the feeling of just like oh this is the greatest feeling that I could do this all the time this is incredible it's just such a comparable to even like you know it or anything like that it's just sit there and smile just waves of heat I was real sick once and I got a hold of that real NyQuil in the 90s the last time I took it the real NyQuil that stuff. I guess it was codeine was it codeine it was in there. Something like that right it's be out so it was wonderful it was wonderful I was just I was just my pillow and my blanket would just cuddle

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find me with love and I was just lying in bed with a stupid smile on my face watching TV so I'm so happy they don't make that night felt like they used to my doctor Shady. Ephedrine is what it was called that's what it is right we've talked about this before a THC liquid something-or-other being sold like in 1200 but it's sold in like a bottle that looks just like the purple Phil show me some marijuana beer THC infused beer like you get that shit the fuck away from me they're making CBD infused beer soon like I think Budweiser at Coors or Budweiser someone invest money in wow wow that's interesting well it would counteract the effects of alcohol and somewhat because want to things about alcohol

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causes inflammation CBD perhaps could counteract the information when it comes to anything other than smoking it I do not play in tobacco Backwoods Jimmy's these are my favorite because they give you like a little bit of elevation to get a little bit from the from the cigarette the nicotine the tobacco and then you get the weed combo Corona model was the first to take the plunge investing hundreds of millions of dollars into Canadian outfit in order to bring THC infused bruise to Market in Northern Nation

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now Molson Coors second largest bird in the world is reportedly getting to the game the game yeah that's like Smirnoff starts investing in marijuana you know cuz they're going to 100% legal in Canada now Canada is just it's just like buying a beer it's thank God Canada bad mother fuckers up there you can travel in Canada and fly with it I love you can fly to LAX with weed now heck yeah they say whatever happens when you get there is on you right did you see the thing that they have in Vegas have dispensary like a are dispensaries for marijuana at the airport and then people break it into him and they're stealing weed out of them that we are not free weed boxes you assholes The Crossing International borders of cannabis is illegal at the airport there yeah but does that mean going back or Landing

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it's either bring it in or take it out but like if you're at the airport just make sure you're staying here is not interesting like you can't even bring it in even though it's legal there

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yeah that's weird because parking there's a box yeah there's a box disposal for prescription and recreational drug something from Vegas I took a picture of IT company that supposed to come around and like pick the shit up and or skinny arm in their God that is so funny it's a disposal all the times that last second I'm just throwing joint tubes in a bit in the back into the trash can like who would actually go up to that thing and throw it in their part only

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Toronto Airport cannabis anise and anise tea cans that's all there is just some guy laying on the ground with his mouth open the bottom of a story about a girl who was she went to a porta potty and she said she thought she saw something like when she's sitting down and then she realized like she heard like groans she realize there was some guy in there inside the porta potty just laying there watching a shit come out and hit him in the head but she's sitting and pissing on him in to the shit and piss that is so disgusting and hot at the same time for some reason it's a fact that I'm a monster would lay there like that he's a fucking snorkel porta potty peeper Luke Christo suing Boulder for $99,999 or equal amount of gold coinage

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oh my gosh from Boulder Colorado he's suing Boulder or what happened in Boulder people been getting really high and Bolder for a long time and there's no air up there so if you get super baked in Boulder like you could blow a fuse look at that Porta-Potty it's like built for that it looks like it's like a float tank

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you know what it's like Blake one of those first class seats you get when you fly to Australia

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yeah oh yeah what a pod it says he has made his mark on the internet under a variety of monikers including Omni rainbow and Sky Orion who's YouTube channel features Clips including this one and which demonstrates his thigh rubbing technique is not there for some reason yeah I wonder why I'm told from the internet so this is the guy so he was he climbed in there to help people shit on them

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and how do you know that there was a girl his reward for such a patient's was the site of a Slender black haired white man we going what the hell they're talking about but I'm reading that go back a slender black haired white man standing between 6:55 and 6 foot 8 inches tall with cuts on his back and arms wearing only a pair of sweatpants what is this about oh so this is the security guard realize that he was doing something scroll back up to that they're under the toilet in a porta potty for a hot chick to come in and just like Joey Diaz comes in like all excited about a man festival stepped into a portable laboratory and when she lifted to its lit she saw something moving in the deep dark depths below to shock horror and Quick Escape was she fetched

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man and asked him to look inside he to saw some movement beneath a tarp inside the tank and After exiting the chamber and heard the door locked behind them at that point he some of the security okay that's what happened and then they caught that guy so he's in there with a tarp hiding under a tarp or people shiting on app that is faced is that the mugshot is your shit all over them know God you son of a bitch it's like the It clown meets the shit clown he sat down with Fox31 for jailhouse interview in which you refer to spying on urinating or defecating women in quotes the highest creature in the universe he maintained as in quotes praising God and said in quotes it sounds kind of weird but I would just find my piece and go away say thank you goddess and go about my night wow isn't

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the scariest part when you when you drop a deuce in the toilet you hear the words thank you goddess

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peoples in other places around Boulder also just to know that someone like that as a real person like you have to realize sometimes you have to see someone like that to go okay I don't know everybody there's a there's a there's a long-range you know if there's a chart of like fucked up to like totally normal yeah there's a lot of variables in there and there's a lot of people that just don't fit into your ideal

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who knows we may know people that are into that type of thing we should set up like a try or else we should put one of those

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getting folks just we like we love those guys just jokes just jokes yeah tell you about it put one behind the comedy store and see if anyone starts to like look it up and down and lay down in it

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you know they had this test they did with with men wear they took men the right now before we get any further I don't know who conducted these tests Jamie probably find it will they they conducted test where they put devices on penises who talked about this was Christopher Ryan may have talked about this and maybe our friend Chris Ryan talked about this they put sensors on penises and they showed homophobic men erotica and homosexual erotica in particular like guys getting a dick sucked by guys and they got aroused by they put like these things on it so that's what we need to do we need to like that moment homophobia is a excitement by male on male sex that one study the greatest reality show ever in the making right now

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bow and anxious they are around game at based on these scores they then divide or not these men were then shown 3 4 minute video that's a long time you shouldn't want you too dude suck a dick video depicted streets X12 big depicted lesbian sex and one depicted gay male sex

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all this is happening at devices attached to eat participants penis this device been found to be triggered by sexual arousal but not by other types of arousal such as nervousness or fear arousal often has a very different meaning in Psychology then in proper usage wonder what the device looks like it's just some dudes mouth pretty sure this was a Japanese game show experiment of Science Guy get blown by another dude and Hittle a certain amount of time at the last without coming had to go by for 5 minutes or something like that blowing a load with a bunch of money Japanese game shows were on another level and some fucking insane shit on Japanese TV was Japanese game show

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those guys are way if they're always ahead of it Ninja Warrior yeah I think so I guess how it got on to the way it is because a G4 had a contest for like the first American to go over and do it and it just sort of snowballed from there. Show of a version of America called Wipeout right number that cuz that was the same people that produced Fear Factor produced wipe out when they have mxc for they would like. Auto double or do the voice tubs and it would seem a little funny but did you like the waiters verse the service staff and it be almost a big joke about XC so anyway

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we put

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the sensors on Earl skakel dick and have someone take a shit in front of people who got hit in the head now here's the thing I can't help but thinking that that lady is running cruise ship now after we talked about I don't think I don't see that as mud the other one I was talking about this only taking one plan on lively but it is a gay vs. straight blowjob challenge oh my God so who's the gay guy

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The Straight Guy wow that's in the gay guy says those pants are hot

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and so this guy has to stand there see if we can get takuya oh my God I see he might not get hard what is Express oh my God

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welcome to another episode of

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find my god wow it's always those fat guys that really suck the best dick so I bet it's like a comment but just got took his shirt off would happen there

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thank you I enjoyed that he says oh my God that poor guy

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that poor guy is not in that dude's mouth he says that's frustrating A Lot came out didn't it he says it's so frustrating that yeah but a lot came out so the guys tell Dude you enjoy that you came really hard cuz I was very frustrating cuz I can only comes out of it feels good that is there evil that's a fucking with a person's mind you know you just Dutch guys to think about that shift for the rest of his life he's probably gay now he's probably on the other side of the game show sucking a dick at the same time it's combination things like we like things in their mouth and on top of that gay sex and Asian as well Kobayashi is the hot dog eating champion

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what do you get the whole thing down your throat just I don't know. That's a terrible stereo dive I'm really embarrassed you brought that up in the show and if anybody knows things about stereotypes of Asians and Megyn Kelly

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that was an Asian stereo

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I'll get it can I get a Samsung that's a crazy one that's a crazy one because she said I never really got it all the way she said that back in her day people used to be black for Halloween she said why can't you dress up as like Diana Ross said what's wrong with wearing blackface she's like why is it bad for Chichi through it's not even really bad as it like as a white person dressed up as a black what's not nobody says it's bad for a black person dressed up as white person takes his TV show forever Minstrel shows like if she knew the history of it like you go to back and watch Al Jolson have you ever watched some of that stuff a little bit but I mean we should watch some of that okay owl Jolson stuff

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what happened go to jail PC please

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YouTube what about white chicks member White Chicks when the Wayans brothers you could be white

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nobody cares so should be her saying that was very disingenuous was just a cover asked so that's Al Jolson The Jazz Singer Al Jolson you slowing down low and look at used to do with his lips he used to like make his lips cartoonishly exaggerated and he would sing but he was like obviously a white man singing in black face as a black man it says it's really weird to watch it would wear white gloves on is it wrong that I feel weird or watching this then reading about the guy that was getting shit and pissed on is it wrong that you came quicker than the guy getting stiff

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man that's crazy pretty sure those the first movie with sound also we can realize the first movie with sound was that probably 1927 okay so that is what is that 60 years after slavery

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the doctor was abolished but it wasn't even really done when was abolished so yeah but when was it done

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arguably it isn't with jails but I mean at least to say you're free but what I meant was when when it was ratified over time so because of the Civil War right Civil War ended in 1875 but the resolution to abolish slavery was passed

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for it and then the Civil War ended just a couple years later right in January 1st 1863 so that's not a long like 60 years later they're doing it's so weird it's weird watching old movies. They like the 1920s and shit it's like it's so I watch King Kong with my kids I had them watch the original King Kong and it would have to be scared this is a few years back like when

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one was six and one was for they were all laughing I thought it was so funny it looks so bad it looks so corny right we're just cuddled up on the couch watching King Kong look so corny like the claymation weird the back then I was a horror movie like people go to the movie like that was terrifying yes it was I'm going to go get a sandwich I'm going to go to coffee for a penny I saw the new Halloween movie the other day was awesome really I actually did it they made a great movie great reboot it was awesome if you've ever enjoyed any moment or know anything about Michael Myers at all it's unbelievable wow really great it's like modern-day they make Jamie Lee Curtis a badass like she's like she's her age it's bothered her her whole life

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every all anyone wants to talk there about is that so she like lifting weights and she said she holds she holds herself up in this big she builds a compound with fences and everything and Casey ever fucking comes back and kills himself how to shoot like it's like real awesome dude you fucking a lot of it I couldn't believe it the rest of the night I was saying in my wife just just I can't believe how great that movie wasn't she loved it too so it's like all around wow I went to a Yelp review that I really liked

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and I said I wonder what how it gets reviewed on Yelp and I was like all five stars except one one one star and it was like a crazy review or some woman was she was yelling she was complaining that tips if you tip on a credit card that they don't get it until the end of the week if it gets taxed

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how it always works or do you get it at night they cash you out on the restaurant but I felt like that was probably common that some restaurants will give you with your weekly check all your tips for the weekend that would be if like they're pulling perhaps all the tips of the week together and splitting it amongst everybody which is only a really really really good restaurant with dill level of restaurants the performances like a given like they're probably splitting vast sums of money cuz it's a full-blown machine exactly it's Chris Steakhouse coming out of high school and I learned pretty much you know everything there is to know they make you memorize a stack of cards you have to know everything in the whole thing's a well-oiled machine I was a food Runner which basically means that I had to make sure that everything going to the T

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Peebles was perfectly set up like you did cuz there's no fixing it once it leaves the door right so you're basically the final approval of everything and the service is waiting at the table or follows behind you set the tray down and they do it you get 10% of all the servers tips on the floor so sometimes some nights if there is no more than 10 to 1 food Runner servers two food Runners you can make more than even a server to Ruth's Chris Steakhouse in Bonita Restaurant does it differently and splits tips maybe they pull on that night pulling the tips actually usually means that the service is going to be unbelievable unless it's just a Genki restaurant then they did that then they probably just do it normally start a fire starts and I always have a big smile on my face when I see a one-star review cuz that means this bitch going to have a lot of one-star reviews if you go to her page

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Star Trek this fucking malcontent this monster I was just going everywhere complaining about everything from fucking nail salons to movie theaters like everything it's crazy I don't think that anybody is just one click away from Noah from them being completely exposed I guess the same thing yet on Twitter or really anything right you see someone say something crazy you just click on their profile and it's all crazy all crazy all the time to everybody complaining about everything I got a bunch of people tweeted at me with these wacky conspiracies like wacky mind control conspiracies and what would it seem to me to be a not a professional but if I had to guess a wave of mentally ill people were contacting me

► 00:44:19

and I was I was reading this and like Jesus Christ how many so I can people out there that believe like the most nuttiest CIA based mind control experiments and NSA tapping into everything in your home and listening to your conversations by listening to the vibrations off of your window panes like you're some people don't know who's got time for that here's the thing do you really think there's enough people in the world to be paying attention to all the people in the world does that make any sense to you it shouldn't there's no way everybody's watching everybody tonight there's not enough people see like if you do something like say Tony Hinchcliffe run for president and watch you for sure going to find out who's backing fidget George Soros who's looking out for Tony Hinchcliffe

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the average person is like remember that Mel Gibson movie Conspiracy Theory remember that

► 00:45:21

he played a mentally ill person who fell in love with you later on Burt's Bees like a hot mentally ill person and he just believed everything was a conspiracy theory it's the other day but I don't know where it was on TV and I still want to watch this for a little bit I was like Wow fucking wacky this movie people that have schizophrenia realize that their schizophrenic bipolar notice there and they might be aware that they're having an episode people OCD there ocda td80d schizophrenia game-set-match you start hearing the voices become a normal thing like you think everybody can hear I mean you're not really acknowledge in them because they become so natural the schizophrenic person can be in a psych ward and say to their doctor why am I here and that's a breakthrough Marc Maron

► 00:46:16

heard voices in his head for over a year after partying with Kinison

► 00:46:22

it's hard cans and party yeah man we really are I was talking to Argus the other day at the back door and it's just like my God I literally said the words like I'm like I wish I was I wish I had started back when you started man we started off on this whole tangent about the how about just you know sobriety and stuff and he's like me back and I can't remember it's just yeah I mean those guys were all it was all just a blur I learn something from Argos cuz aren't you know artist runs like insane numbers of Miles everyday like 12 miles 15 miles a day the addict in him the guy that loved getting wasted that's his high now he talks about it all the time is runner's high it's real it's real because of this month

► 00:47:22

this month is over October month dude I worked out no less than at least 2 hours that's a small workout a small workout that's all I can get it was 2 hours the longest I did I did six hours one day good Lord 6 hours of insane cardio like both kill bills I did 7 I did 7 hours of cardio in the last two days showing yesterday and the day before 7 hours of hard cardio different stop running hills with a dog lip tickle machine with a rowing machine with fat people right now I'm depending on myself so my main competitions Ari shaffir and whether you realize it or not Ari shaffir even though it doesn't exercise already has a strong mind he is a very strong 15 miles is 55 km

► 00:48:12

and then after Road 5 kilometers he he did something else he rode his bike he rode a bike for a certain amount of Miles goodness he's got that power jewgene he's got that escape from concentration camp jeans he's he said you saw the fucking hard he was going on the rowing machine he goes hard he stayed in the 80% on the rowing machine for an hour and you really did I saw him I was the out there with him I filmed it I put it up on Instagram being out of shape it's not because when Burton him went walking he was in way better shape than Bert cre rides his bike in New York and he walks a lot New York and even though he's not in great shape like in terms of like a guy runs in comparison to Bert he's in fantastic shape when they went hiking together bird how to stop like a bunch of tattoos. And I was pissed off he's like why do I have to stop

► 00:49:12

so like he wanted to see what would happen if the two of them went out together did the exact same hiking who's cuz

► 00:49:24

no re in a week is in way better shape than bird is in his whole life of working out and drinking vodka every night but I was very very much worried about him so up until 2 days ago everything seems to be going good I was working really hard and I was putting her to do three hours a day it's three and a half hours days 2 days in a row is three and a half hours a day but I started peeing in her coming out dark like ice t o ship it sounds like a guy at a porta potties dream sweet bless you God bless you for your sweet tea I was famished yeah it didn't look good

► 00:50:22

and today I had to go to something in my kids school Pleasant Halloween thing and I had to go out by three flights of stairs for long flights of stairs I got to top a person I barely made it upstairs I got to the top I was out of breath my legs are shaking three flights of stairs today what does it mean I think my body is breaking down I think I've got like serious muscle breakdown the point like my muscles are so sore that I'm ignoring that they're sore and even though they're really really sore I'm still doing like 3 hours of cardio like I limped up to the to the trail when I ran with my dog is today and I ran 2 miles and then after I Ran 2 miles I did an hour and a half on the elliptical machine then after an hour and a half on the elliptical machine I did 45 minutes to kick in the bag punching kicking the

► 00:51:22

I took two naps yesterday two separate naps me something by telling me about this high that you get from fucking nonsense is that

► 00:51:37

I knew that there's like an endorphin high but I didn't I didn't say it was really specific but there's a very specific hide you get and it's like if you could take a pill that puts you in the state of mind when I work out this month everybody would take it in the world be a better place cuz you don't give a fuck you don't give a fuck about anything don't care about people and friends love ones but there's no anxiety is no all the chatter all the negative chatter that you get in a Brandy have to like push off and ignore but shuts off there because your your brain is almost trying to create problems and conflict because you're not getting enough exercise I think like 8 months old or something now and I've learned a lot from having this dog this time like I didn't notice a lot of stuff with the other dogs that I breathed in the past because with this one it's very clear

► 00:52:37

and I mean they're all that way but if you don't work it out you don't take it and exercise it she's crazy she can be a nut and she shows you buy baby being weird not necessarily destroying stuff but you know just being weird little things by nibbling at your finger a different way with just a little front teeth like sort of like telling you something like hey dude I need to fucking get some exercise in and we're all the where we are that same weights or brain is going to make more complex ways for us to be freaked out basically run for our lives right like I don't just I mean again I barely do cardio but I do do it pretty consistently but it's shorts like a mile or two that's all you need but in the end it cleanses the palate it's like ginger between Sushi slices and and if I go without it absolutely it compiles I'll wake up bitter and angry about something

► 00:53:37

see something on you know somewhere something or work wise and stress out about it and like why it would this and that and so does this make any sense at all right because the fuck exactly is he runs miles with me all the times that dogs ready to go and so it's like

► 00:54:09

how to start chewing socks and he just doesn't have like anxiety and negative chatter the complex human mind when it doesn't have enough energy output I was thinking over the sides and causing a mess is it expand or spend a certain amount of energy every day in order to keep it clean just keep everything going well. Good

► 00:54:46

yeah but it's just I went too hard it's just too hard but I wanted to get so far ahead my goal was to get so far ahead that no one can catch up they can do these big days every now and then I go but it's hard to do big day and then do another big day and then do another big day. That's what's hard and like that's where I'll get them I'll get them in the like the like when you wake up like not today that's the day you got to go. That's like I wanted to put some distance between them so what I did was I did one day why did 6 hours I did 5 hours in the morning and I actually five and a half another hour at night so it's basically six and a half hour and I got a thousand points for the day and they were like what the fuck actually

► 00:55:35

and I guarantee you that when Marin was hearing those voices Tina Kennison time that he wasn't working out so he doesn't work out now and it's easy for a comedian and not work out and then it when you factor that in that it's not a normal job and you can go from your bed to your car to the venue to sit down at a table to wait till you go on stage then you do that you stand up I don't think I have anything to do with it it was cocaine they did so much cocaine they were up for days yeah that's what it was he broke his brain and physically not doing anything right at 2 but I mean I think the big cocaine doing cocaine Kinison I think you just popped up for days and days

► 00:56:22

I got to get out of here I have a future I have a life

► 00:56:29

do you know that he Kennison and Roseanne have something really serious in common they're both hit by cars when they're very young and their personality radically changed yeah yeah yeah that was one of the things that I really wanted to cover with Roseanne when I had her on the podcast all these people calling her alright don't understand this woman first of all one of the greatest stand-up comics of all time

► 00:56:59

mentally ill and talks about it openly and is very honest about her troubles and what happened she was committed to a mental institution for 9 months after this car accident I mean she was hit in the fucking head by a car the car was driving the sunlight was in her face she couldn't see clipped her in the intersection sent her flying she was in intensive care for a long fucking time in a coma for a long fucking time came out of it was fucked up couldn't concentrate in school he committed to a mental institution for 9 months good lad the hood ornaments spiked her fucking head dude yeah so when people are talking about her like this is all something that she planned out cuz she's an evil person that's like saying to a person who has a broken leg why you limping yeah it's really like that one of the reasons why she was so brilliant as a comedian other than she worked hard and she writes a

► 00:57:59

you know what she's got a great mind for it one of the reasons was she truly was like incredibly impulsive and insane and this is what allowed her to say things that other people wouldn't say especially back then like people have to realize when Roseanne Barr was huge and she was huge before I ever did comedy she was huge when she was she was there was no women like her no one she was fat she didn't give a fuck she would go on stage with chew talk mad shit would be hilarious she would kill to kill dude I remember watching her kill like on HBO when I was like probably like 18 or something like that she's one of mitzi's true like success stories right did you can't talk about that her being a nun in the main room and then being on my Carson weeks later she book Carson one of her posts about that the first time yeah it's hard to remember The Comedy Store

► 00:58:59

more like for comedy store fans and historians like she's like an anomaly because I'm pretty sure her first ever spot as a paid regular was in the main room which was a big deal at the time

► 00:59:12

and from that spot she got The Tonight Show like a week or two later like she got booked from her first paid regular spot to The Tonight Show from The Tonight Show goddess it calmed it like was a huge overnight success so it all went like the one thing that you talked about the first time that she lost her mind when I was going on just like all I went crazy I wants my mind went to the kind of pressure to go from being a housewife and Denver till like a couple years later being one of the biggest stars in the world like that yeah there's no the app that's it takes it takes yeah that would drive anybody crazy the whole thing's crazy because also waiting for it's crazy and working towards it's crazy the whole thing's crazy so to get it all at once that's even crazier than anything because then you're like oh my God I'm not ready for this what am I going to do at least most of the time in Show Business right it takes 10 15 20 25

► 01:00:12

where is yeah sitting here used like I'm I've been ready for this or you do all those years and then you can always overnight success like Tiffany had it right out of nowhere she becomes a giant success yeah you know but she prepared by doing all those years for Roseanne Barr was like instantaneous you know the thing that bothers me most about all that stuff was how quickly everyone want to just cancel her get rid of her like stop it from working ever again. I don't want to hear her side of it. There's no room for explanation there's no room for discussion there's no room for is it just get rid of her to see people become Stars American Idol America's Got Talent to watching People's dreams get destroyed that's the new obsession the new thing is we've seen people make it let's watch the dream get crushed you already rich get out of here get out of here Trump get out of here Rose and get out of here

► 01:01:12

Kanye it's like this I mean I mean Trump's its own thing but like trying to like destroy people that are artists it's the weirdest thing well it's people that are on the outside that are watching these people live the spectacular lives and if if something goes wrong they're happy because then that person has to be a regular person again or even worse if it has been which people love people of a husband you shiting on Gary Coleman because Gary Coleman was a security guard I was having this conversation when it was only laughing Gary Coleman from Different Strokes there was a security guard security guard now man and I was like okay like a regular security guard security guard security guard hey what's up man is my ID because he was

► 01:02:12

famous being a security cards a joke and he's a loser he was joy in Glee in this guy describing How Gary Coleman who was born like with a disease meme yous are deformed these. Just tiny person with a fucked-up body his whole body to mass meanings that he's physically amass his health is fucked up this guy was taking joy out of the fact that he was a security guard now so wow this is this a weird tendency that people have to like to watch people that they think had it better than them fall yeah the guy that I was bagging groceries from a Whatchamacallit Swift was Willam from The Cosby Show

► 01:02:55

yeah apparently Tyler Perry give that guy a job

► 01:02:59

shut off the Tyler Perry thank you yeah he said the guys hustling he's out there working there's no shame in working right the back of people are so obsessed with that there is the disease shame in it is a shame and just having a job and working very strange very strange how people are attached to that you know that they they they they immediately think that this is something to Mock and make fun of you know I mean it was almost Universe how many people doing stories when I got bagging groceries

► 01:03:38


► 01:03:40

the age we live in man people want to see people break if anybody is doing anything there's no chance they're just waiting made people are so mad looking Megyn Kelly if we didn't know what her contract was right if it was just some in fact let's say we did now and let's say she was getting paid barely what we would ever guess right but say she's getting paid I don't know a hundred thousand dollars that we order new job at NBC she probably still have the job she put right I mean it's the whole crazy part is that we all know she got paid 68 million dollars for 3 years for what right the whole take so it's like in life you know what gay

► 01:04:32

Megyn Kelly show said that I said that it seems like a hostage video the only thing is missing is her holding up a newspaper with the date on it I reach me to let you and so does and then somebody else said about it that's so strange is how insincere it seems forced like I forced her it's her apology play the actual video I said if I remember correctly it's too, she makes one of them they come back over the first comment

► 01:05:21

The Real Housewives of New York with Luann and she dresses Diana Ross and she made her skin look darker than it really is and people said that that was racist

► 01:05:32

Diana Ross you want to look like Diana Ross for one day and I don't know how like that got races on Halloween. That's the first one but it's weird when you watch it now like you know this is her demise like you're watching the stumble when she trips off the Rock and falls off the cliff this is the stumble

► 01:05:57

like I don't get it how is that racist do you want to be Diana Ross then Play It Again

► 01:06:09

and that commentary from Wall Street Journal that was a wrap

► 01:06:15

my favorite one of hers that she ever said

► 01:06:19

my favorite one of hers is my favorite one of her she ever said was doing the same Fox news about Santa Claus and someone said something about Santa Claus being black I did something about Santa Claus being black and she just went well Santa Claus is definitely White

► 01:06:38

and she was like I think she said in the kids like kids Santa Claus is definitely right words kids Santa Claus is real and he's definitely white I forget what the exact terminology was but she basically said Santa Claus is definitely white like she didn't get fired from Fox for saying that she probably got a raise for getting that right Fox well it was then they don't want to know yeah she want to go back up now we're good yeah they want to take her back the thing is you can't go from being a nice princess and a conservative right-wing channel to being like Oprah Oprah BC was thinking they're they're thinking should she get the paper she she was going to come. She has a giant fan base but for sure some came over but she a lot of her fan

► 01:07:38

basis because she was the beautiful conservative woman who was very tough very articulate very smart you know and they like that she's a nice princess and she would shut people down there in correct and she would let people talk over her she's powerful kind of frightening in the hot way yeah

► 01:07:58

Fox News has a bunch of those chicks just waiting waiting in the Hound ex machina when the dude opens up and sees all these robots with different skin faces

► 01:08:10

so many of them just teleprompters ready to roll big letters so they can read it clearly will tell you what you like they're making a movie and these three are the yeah the anchors Fox News Nicole Kidman

► 01:08:34

dare you see you can get fired for that imagine if you were on a show and you said that that would be the end like that is a beautiful thing about podcast yeah because a fuck that you said that it has zero consequences but like slits was pretend that you were on The Tonight Show and you were a guest and you like I like being in the end of that porta potty

► 01:08:57

what just tried to go to the restroom you think that's funny it's crazy what's happening it's crazy I've noticed it a little bit and stand up lately there's been a couple of these road trips I did something that you told me not to do Joe Rogan you ready for this you told me not to do it years ago and I did it and it was rough and I perform stand-up comedy in Connecticut did you guys of despair

► 01:09:35

it's really crazy so one of the things that happened was is I noticed this really cool old guy stood out in the front middle of the audience right now I'm like you seem like at a place and cool as hell and old as fuck what's your story dude right and I noticed there's this angry older lady almost like almost like Dana carvey's like church lady character sitting next to him and I go and who's this angry lady that used to have a tall and they were the most different semen couple you could ever imagine this happy smiling laughing and everything guy in Justice I mean she was looking at me with hate not just not having fun she hated me the could have been something that I talked about early on maybe it was like us something about could have been that could have been my me to Joe could have been my trump misdirect joke that piece

► 01:10:35

what I mean anyway and but I notice next to them there's this girl who seems even angrier than the mom and maybe only two angry people in the room and it's a gig at a casino in Connecticut just literally like a literally like a modern-day like it if someone went did that said to a bad actress like play Angry play a horrible actress who just like that and Tyga and I go what's the problem you know dude there's like I ignore it for like 45 minutes right and I'm going on and on with the moms angry it turns out that the chick next to them so the daughter and then they're basically mad because we're whatever material or whatever and I end up towards the end of my set going off on the girl I go I got to go take the skin off your face what are you doing

► 01:11:35

you think that's going to affect lady I'm getting paid the same amount tomorrow you know what I mean like this point of my fans are loving it and they're the ones that stumbled into the Run scene for the Broncos show at the wrong time if they were looking for Christian puppet comedy or whatever and I said to her I go you seem like a I go I go you seem like an Internet troll that just stumbled in here like you seem like you're going to write about this you seem like the type of angry where you think you're going to change something or you're going to do something to my career that's what I thought that's the vibe I get from you I literally made the jokes the crowd love it by the way you don't even cuz they can tell like it's not saying anything to her she was there was there was one part where I go I go because my goal the thing that

► 01:12:33

the reason why I ignored them for awhile this because I go you seem like a tough lady to the mom right I go you seem tough but I'm going to break you at some point during this set and when I do I'm going to make sure this whole room knows I'm going to say I got you and I'm not going to tell you when it's going to happen but I'm going to make you laugh anyway 45 minutes later I get to the point to where I had in my mind set up that there's no way she's not going to laugh at this and sure enough I got a big smile out of her right I'm not I won't say what the joke is I want to give anything away but I got the smile and I'm literally like the whole crowds already laughing and they can tell that I'm looking to watch to see if the lady breaks and she doesn't and I go in though I thought I was going to get you how is it possible that you don't laugh at that like what do you do for fun lady like at this point

► 01:13:33

do to possibly make you laugh and that's why me when the angry daughter goes be funny I go I know I've been telling for 52 minutes now you know what I mean like at this point whatever there's everybody out there but 99.9% of the other audiences the witness at this point in there against this chick right cuz this chicks now just mad because whatever and and I go you seem like the type of girl that thinks that you can even affect an artist you know what I mean this is us a little Millennial nerdy girl and sure enough sure enough I go on Twitter later that night there's two days later my manager gets an email and he's like do we got this email from some lady in Connecticut that you were being mean to her on stage

► 01:14:33

she wrote you a letter he's like it's three paragraphs long what is happening what is happening in this world or someone's taking the time to write a letter to my manager of all people who by the way is laughing at the whole thing enough right one audience member in Connecticut and that hold the crowd 99%. You're funny but that's not good enough I need a hundred percent but man you are right it and in Connecticut is weird it's a weird place anywhere at the store they sit in the front row with arms crossed you going to run into people like that everywhere but there's something about Connecticut where it says no real cities you got Hartford witches of the land of Despair you got New Haven which is worse and it's just a highway between Boston and New York it's all it is

► 01:15:27

yeah it was great New York's great Connecticut's like what the fuck you doing here what's going on here it's become such a running joke The Lex fridman the scientist from MIT who's on here the other day to talk about artificial intelligence he brought it up as a joke what did he say what he said

► 01:15:44

something about like you just wanted you to sit on it so many gigs in Connecticut so many so many cuz I lived in Boston it was like good you know an hour and a half drive to Connecticut we did a lot of gigs there Greg Fitzsimmons and I we did a shit ton of gigs in Connecticut we always leave it was just felt it felt dirty that's a gay guy did purely for the money some of my good friend Tommy Junior lives in Connecticut Connecticut but it's disproportionately that that's the problem it's not that everyone in Connecticut is full of Despair know there's a lot of people that live in Hartford and Hartford but what's that area outside of New York City where all the rich people live Greenwich

► 01:16:44

dial to get to the property down their driveway the drivers in a mile of like manicured Lawns they have those Great Gatsby type residence as their hell yeah. Pills while people filled up at least joints fit is the average houses look at these joints

► 01:17:03

damn what was the apartment building dude but it's a house a house that's a house that's in Connecticut house

► 01:17:11

dude there's insane amounts of Finance money like that's Great Gatsby type shyt Jeffrey The Great Gatsby I watch the movie I was supposed to read the book as a student the DiCaprio movies actually pretty fucking good yeah really good great soundtrack artistic license with worked and moved and there's like a lot of flare to it that made it exciting beautiful movie one of those ones we got to turn out the lights make sure your color on your TV's right to turn in the sound yeah but that area that area of Connecticut is just unbelievably wealthy that area of Connecticut and there's another area that's similar to that in Long Island like that's the Hamptons The Hamptons in Long Island is all just insane well just like Matt Lauer has a house out there that's like 16 million dollars on The Today Show money

► 01:18:13

do you want it is not what is he going to do to make a comeback I think I think I think he's going to be like selling things any day now I got like Larry King now like sells like things like on late night TV ever see that was you telling Larry King's like slinging like the show fake products and stuff so it's sort of a mixture of an advertisement isn't showing television or is it on the internet

► 01:18:44

I think it's on the internet and I was just on it really

► 01:18:50

I'm talking about the talking about a TV that looks like a TV show but it's 4 and I'm not a TV show it's really just a he's like asking questions like he used to do but it's just some guy like yes and another thing my Prostate medicine can do right right right on the same set that's why is the set of his show at Sonora TV but like he shoots those commercials on that wooden background said oh okay so they just have a similar setup

► 01:19:18

who's that girl in the upper right hand corner what is that what is that what in the hell am I watching what go full-screen please Christ look at her eyes that's insane makeup and but wait a minute I don't know where her actual eyes that's a drag queen yeah but you also Drew white underneath the eyes and then oh my God that's insanity

► 01:20:02

those two crazies eyes I've ever seen in my life I browse the black triangles in the corners of the eyes to does the nuttiest makeup and look at the cheekbones like a sculpted it is where it's like has an Abrupt line before the lower jaw Mega family

► 01:20:36

I've always been a woman oh yeah I forgot it's born in the 1900s man you didn't know shit back then. King's watched it all happen man the what the Poke the jail Larry King went to jail son how is that even real but she's got a signature look though I'll tell you that that's her that triangle thing I'm scared to have rain here what does she look like without makeup right there what you look like what do you think she looks like probably like me

► 01:21:17

I better looking you be

► 01:21:24

sure maybe the cat eyes to the retina fucking head that's an evil cat

► 01:21:34

what is Larry King go to jail for

► 01:21:38

went to jail for something that's a crazy like it looks like he's all coked up in his mugshot photos looks like a wild man grand larceny I like money laundering Larry King was in the supposed to tell me that they had it coming The Sideburns it looks fucking amazing 1971

► 01:22:14

damn why would you get arrested for what did he do throughout the larceny charge the statute of limitations run out king plead no contest to one count of passing bad checks by the way like they don't they just don't make sure it's like that look that's just white circles on a black collared shirt you can get those from me undies

► 01:22:45

if I have shirts like that

► 01:22:49

does Mandee's do sure to relay do bralettes what's the promo code I should be used in place of it

► 01:23:04

everybody was doing coke back that I got a Tsum Larry King was on coke using Cocaine Cowboys right amazing amazing amazing doctor one and two amazing when you just realize what cuz you can be especially if you're living in Ohio like you were out here in Los Angeles you might not know the history of cocaine and Miami you might not know how fucking insane it was and see watch that documentary just go what are narcos or really you know is good but it's a lot of it is about another country like Cocaine Cowboys almost all about America One Part Of Cocaine Cowboys and I'll never forget where they said that the entire graduating class of the police academy was he there murdered or went to jail

► 01:23:57

they were all corrupt everybody was doing coke there's more Banks per capita in Miami at least at the time than anywhere else in the country and was all money laundering so it was my friend Steve Graham was going to school in Miami back then he was doing his residency in Miami he's the opthamologist and he was there during the cocaine violence years so he was doing his residency you do emergency room work so he was there people bullet holes and exploded he said it was crazy the amount of violence he would say just every night people with bullet holes and gunshot wounds a knife wounds and fucking attack with barbed wire and Chaos in a lot of people with things up their ass really oh yeah all kinds of things light bulbs

► 01:24:53

news twisty light bulbs pine cone up the ass can't get it out why would why wouldn't I why is warm lube it up shovel in their start beating off can't get it out I don't know how to get to the doctor how did it will drive slow I'll put my ass out the window

► 01:25:15

I don't know what he told me that that was one of the things they pulled out a guy's ass I won't light bulb warm twisty light bulbs that's like the other things too like GI Joe dolls she like that that's what happens when you have a bad idea a light bulb appears in your ass help set up over your ad

► 01:25:31

that's hilarious the really fun thing in the movie you know you like a cartoon I got a great idea

► 01:25:55

oh my God yeah I think I'm a doctor so

► 01:26:08

they just get too comfortable with it and you have to save them to matter what I was reading last night about the about the Jewish doctor who had the shooter of the of the temple in Pittsburgh he had to save his life here to like make sure that he's okay you know what I mean sometimes you're just helping horrible human beings that just use Slaughter and some of your own people now you're Jewish doctor having to fix the guy now and World Tarantino world we like to think that also sorry to accidentally it appears as though I haven't given you the right medicine you know what I mean but in real life they have to just Stitch him up and you know it also mean the car probably has a record is it in terms of like his success ratio he doesn't want to fuck it up for some asshole rain

► 01:27:01

yeah it seems like being a doctor would be very very hard like as mentally seems like racking up those losses and such a lack of control the human body EMT workers to the same kind of deal a buddy of mine told me never date a female EMT worker I go why and he goes there crazy he goes have seen so much violence they just fuck everyone I know what and he goes yeah this is a bunch of female EMT workers if they work with their just Bang everybody obviously it's not every EMT female worker cuz just my asshole friend is telling me this is very limited but I thought on it is do you imagine how fleeting you would feel that life is if every day wishing people die every day you're dealing with crisis or showing up people's brains splatter all over the highway their legs are ripped off they've been run over by trucks everyday all day long

► 01:27:59

this is what he said he goes and goes printable no one's supposed to see that much death Because of You See That Much Death it rewired the way your brain works because you supposed to see that supposed to see that very rarely rarely in life everyday or something goes wrong and he goes it's been my experience that some of these women wear that goes wrong they just did his wild that is fuck everybody

► 01:28:27

why do you think they're doing that is like the distraction themselves trying to distract himself in the violence again this is one asshole friend if you're listening to like Joe Rogan a kid Brady brought that I found an empty work around my mom I'm a great person and that's it seems to make sense to me that female EMTs would be pretty horned up Cops 2

► 01:29:00

oh for sure cops yeah I watch the point of the other day two female cops Bang by the black guy that was supposed to arrest of course that happens that must happen happens with guards in jail female guards the guys who escaped one of them was banging the guard in Upstate New York if we can't leave

► 01:29:23

some funny looking female guard dude was throwing dick away the guard left with the prisoner and then she turned herself in she couldn't handle anymore when I'm fucking alarms are going off in the Manhunt was like how did he get out

► 01:29:46

imagine that your prisoners denied parole after helping killer inmates Escape New York prison going to jail or South that's the luck of the lady that messed up after getting good dick there's a spar with who was a security guard at jail and that was fucking with his head 2

► 01:30:11

he did he was just telling me about what the experience was like like everyday you just always dealing with these fucking people that they are never getting out of there but he was in the maximum security penitentiary like they're never getting out of there every day every day you're just dealing with horrible people in terrible circumstances they know that you get to leave they know you get to leave but you're living with them most of the day goes yeah I'm not a prisoner it goes but my environment is surrounded by these people is like that affects you like I never thought about it that way I was at the guards have it okay it's just a job where is the inmates you know what was poor bastards are stuck in there while you're in there with them for 8 hours a day most of the time you're not controlling them most of the time you just coexisting

► 01:31:01

so that all my games behind the bars which which way is behind right right there in a cell with the hallway filled with bars people one person on the other side of each bar so are they yeah and then they're wearing body armor and fucking they have clubs and there was terrified the riots going to break out you saw Whitey Bulger got killed he did yeah yesterday in prison but I'm in my first day first day that guy a guy that hates rats kill them in Italian guy or like a gangster guy yep the guy I read the guy is obsessed with hating rats and hating people that beat women and I guess Whitey killed women this guy the first chance he got Whitey Bulger metal violent end after a lifetime of brutality

► 01:31:54

they think they tried to pull his eyes out of his skull don't know if they were successful and not the thing I read didn't make it clear Boston Pat McGonigle body laid the king undisturbed until his remains are found 20 years later part of his pelvic bone fracture it's going to decompose brain matter a ring with Genesis all the different things he's done yeah I know he was a horrible fucking killer

► 01:32:25

West Virginia. After transfer you know I sat train a guy that was one of his fucking mob henchman guy said to me once he was going to kill somebody how would you kill him

► 01:32:37

how's it with my bare hands because yeah go probably hit him in the neck so yeah

► 01:32:44

that was not scary until you find out at the end of the conversation I was teaching Taekwondo not teaching this guy who he was friends with a friend of mine who absolutely worked for Whitey Bulger who wanted going to jail

► 01:33:07

and they told me that this guy just whacked people Jesus Christ was teaching Taekwondo

► 01:33:17

he was very serious like he's very intense and I was very aware that there was something different about him like I was very aware I like he wasn't just a guy that was learning for exercise or self-defense want to take all the classes when I go to martial art he's going to use it but he was a guy that was in case he needed to use it you know I'm saying like there's there's a mindset of someone who just wants to get better at martial art and there's a mindset of someone is thinking about okay it's going to come down I'm going to guess there is a

► 01:33:54

there's a certain amount of focus and intensity that he had that was palpable yeah Mobsters need to get better at at that type of stuff you've received number to Deniro's kick in Goodfellas this just flopping a straight down to what's this Whitey bulger's favorite

► 01:34:20

mr. bulges eyes appear to have been dislodged from his head all those unclear whether his attackers gouge them out or they were knocked out because he was beating so severely in the attack this information was relayed by senior law enforcement official who oversees organized crime cases that's what it was it was a padlock stuffed inside a sock and they also pulled his eyes out of his head at least in part with a padlock that was stuffed inside of a sock at least two inmates were quickly sent to solitary confinement after Mr bulge was found couldn't you three employees of the Federal Bureau of Prisons

► 01:35:01

damn it couldn't happen to a nicer guy

► 01:35:07

Whitey Bulger do you know he won the lottery twice really not really he would show his income so someone else could win the lottery and they would come to him and he would like give them the money and they would give him a lottery ticket and you'd be like what car won the lottery that's how I'm rich Yeah Yeahs dark like they probably would find the person who won the lottery will they chase Dana White out of town do you know that money they want payment for Dan White and got beaten up by them so severely that he had like tinnitus in his ears

► 01:35:51

yeah I'm here to fucking he had a jet out of town you move to Vegas cuz they wanted to cut the UFC UFC UFC back then he was like a boxing trainer oh I forget what he was doing was running a gym but he had to leave town because the mom that's why he left Boston

► 01:36:12

yeah it was real man I mean this is all

► 01:36:15

when I was a kid I got seriously into Taekwondo in 1982 that's when it became like 81-82 that's when I really became like my whole life and that's right around the time we're all that shit was going on and then when in 1988 I became friends with comedian

► 01:36:39

who was his brother went to jail for being a part of Whitey bulger's mob

► 01:36:47

yeah crazy yeah it was like everybody knew somebody who was in some way connected to the Mob and some way you know I just wanted one here crazy story to one guy he's dead now I can talk about him seems Richie and he went to jail while I knew him he was arrested for a murder that I don't think they ever got but this person who was killed wasn't just killed they broke every bone in his body with a hammer and kept injecting him with cocaine to keep them awake

► 01:37:26

yeah so he would black out from the pain and they would inject him with cocaine to wake him back up again and then they would break another bone they're breaking all his bones with a hammer to cut his hands off cut his head off they cut everything off and then when he found you know is broken heap of a body he was somehow connected to this guy that I knew who sold Coke

► 01:37:50

and this guy had gone to jail and I knew him before he went to jail he was another guy from Taekwondo I knew him before he went to jail he was one person he was a young guy I was I think when he went to jail I was 16 and I think he was 20

► 01:38:07

I know when you got out of jail

► 01:38:10

it was I was 20 and he was 24 and he had scars all over his body where he tried to like sand off his his tattoos yet tattoos all over his arms and I don't know what the tattoos were were there racist or what age didn't want them anymore the tattoos all over his arms biggest arms are covered in scars and he wasn't good he wasn't like a talented martial artist but he was insanely tough like insanely aggressive and insanely tough and when you sparked him you are fighting for your life for your life he would come at me and try to fucking kill me I mean fucking kill you throwing looping punches with every fucking ounce of his being and I'm moving around and I'm like oh we're fighting to the death here

► 01:39:10

fighting this is not this is not sparring we only Sparta cobbler times was but one time he had me cornered he ate a trap me in a corner and hit me with all fucking bomb on the top of my head just as hard as a strong guy was quite a bit bigger than me to Italian

► 01:39:30

and I kicked him in the head so hard it broke his cheek like his cheek shifted over his his face a wheel kick them so I hit him with my heel in his face and he dropped down he collapsed went down to his like you like went down like face first got up on his all fours got back up again want to keep going I said I go Ritchie I go you got to look in the mirror I will come look in the mirror and say fuck I go yeah you can't spot any more dude you want to kill me you want to keep going to want to keep going after I basically kicked his face in half I hit him so hard it wasn't a sparring session it was an I'm trying to kill you you're trying to kill me section and remember setting them upset I'm upset

► 01:40:19

he was so angry and so mean he was trying to get up and scary that was not fighting to death with some guy who I'm kind of friendly with was friendly with him other than that like was you would never guess never one time we went out it was me and him and his two girls never like real weird right and you know it's one girl was like you know like that stuff I go what stuff you going to get and he's like and she's like he's going to get us some coffee you don't want a Coke she was fuck you

► 01:41:00

I'll try to tell her she doesn't want Coke

► 01:41:05

that's why I'm hanging out with this guy stupid it's so funny it's one of the rare times I hung out with him outside of the gym he told me a story about how he had a fight off these guys with a broomstick in jail and now he's beating these guys to death of the broomstick there's a horrible story about him being forced to mop up something in the bathroom when he's got cornered and he's just fucking attacking them with this broomstick and about how you got extra time for that

► 01:41:37

I forget what he went to jail for as soon as probably drug-related I don't remember what it was but I remember just being so nervous about being connected to people like that like knowing people like that from the gym because there's people like that they were always there was wanted to learn how to fight so because you knew you know you teaching martial arts and training there's always those those guys would always come in

► 01:42:01

when it was kind of Spar scary times there's no point back there was no like if it was you respond with some friends like I was sparring with like my friend Leroy Rodriguez a good friend of mine was so fast as Lightning Puerto Rican guy was bad motherfuker he would not hurt me which bar we would go hard but he would hold back from hurting you you know if you could you could trust certain people we were sparring you knew that was just sparring there was other people it was too terrible crazy office carpet on top of concrete

► 01:42:40

we just office carpet on top of concrete so when people would fall head would bounce off the concrete yeah it was horrible that's the 80s bro she was different we

► 01:42:56

no good terrible so terrible back then man

► 01:43:02

people like couldn't people couldn't get concussions back then or something oh they got them they got a lot of them yeah I remember people getting them when they were just fucked up for months and months at a time he's get it yet. Kind of a concussion when you bounce your head off the ground

► 01:43:20

and then you know

► 01:43:23

just the impact of something like that it's just it's so devastating man that's just so bad for you is a great video not great but

► 01:43:35

kind of crazy if you go to Saxon Muay Thai on Instagram there's a video of these two guys fighting in the parking lot and one guy's obviously trained fighter and he's fighting his gang Bangerz and he leg kicks one of them and then punch him in the face and so the guys going home boy you think you going to check on boy and he goes home on Kik me mother fucker hey takes a puff of a cigarette he takes his shirt off I was going to fight he has no idea how to fight and he's decided he's going to fight this guy who knows how to fight in the sky leg kick some drops into the ground he gets up the guy shoots a double lift his legs up in the air and drop some on his head and just goes out yeah it's so watching something something I watching someone's head bounce off concrete that is so fucking disturbing

► 01:44:27

for sure it's just you it's it's it's Saturday if I knew anything else sax on you didn't see it

► 01:44:38

I once had a concussion in the page scroll down a little bit

► 01:44:47

yep that's it go scroll down a little bit

► 01:44:50

Yeah somebody must have pulled it in a wrestling match one time maybe I'm wrong maybe it wasn't sex on

► 01:44:59

I threw up rice krispie treats everywhere I was out I was unconscious and I was throwing up rice krispie treats cuz I bloated up on those after weigh-ins the way in for like an hour before the match made a peanut butter and jelly in like the back then they just debuted it was like a new thing the pre-made super process Rice Krispie treats like that would just come in individual packages and after cutting you know my way Cuts were horrible horrible horrible and so like I would just be eyeballing all this food all week you know what I mean like I remember I'd be so excited whenever you had but you'd be so excited for them is way too excited about this whole box of Rice Krispies Treats that I had and I probably had like four or five right before the match and just come out like a light some do you know what happened. My head wrapped up in his legs like it was it was like a like almost like a double chicken wing

► 01:45:59

like he had he was my chest was on the mat I think he got me a double chicken wings and started to walk around my head hit your head rolled over and then in the butt but I was really I'm really bridgie and agile and have a long neck that I can Bridge up on so when I bridged up on my neck and he's just now there's nothing you can do he took his leg and swooped it and figure Ford my head so now I'm in a figure 4 with my head and double chicken wings but then went once he did that like bridged up again the crowd I remember to sort of being like you know what I mean like it's like I you're not paying in May and then he did this thing we just walked back like a bull in my head right into the mat out like a light that was taken off on a stretcher to the hospital that wrestling match the only time that ever happened how quick after that did you go back to wrestling

► 01:46:51

oh probably probably a week or two assistant coaches son had just died so I can tap that night was like dedicated to him because he showed up we weren't expecting him to be there either sometimes like leukemia or something like that and we weren't expecting him to be there in like our head coach gave us one of those pep talks like coach tonight he's coming after his son dies and you motherfukers better knocked out like it was one of those like super crazy like beyond all of our human potential which is probably why I ended up in that position in the first place cuz I'm just bridging for everything including my assistant coaches son's spirit and all of this you know what I mean better not give up right oh this is it this is the video I sent to me.

► 01:47:48

boom strongly correctly time watch this watch this

► 01:47:55


► 01:47:59

out go from the beginning now in the beginning you see how the fight starts this guy because I get a shirt off and the guys like trying he's by himself and he's like don't we do what I want when I want when I want if this guy makes kicks and after he leg kicks his dude the other guy says come on

► 01:48:30

I had two dozen of a wife-beater on volume on this

► 01:48:36

can I put up is it going to get taken down from YouTube oh okay okay till you turned down so the guys I come on man it's like this is one dude by himself with a bunch of other dudes but he steps in this guy knows how to fight like this leg kick

► 01:48:53

also they are going out of probe quite a bit first whole different guy yeah but that's it right there and so then the guys like realizing he's in trouble and she starts back and when you guys coming for does it come on bitch and so then the other guy asked was goes all you think you going to locate going to like it so he comes back he's like tired of this dude walking away from him and he's like I fuck this dude up with one punch he wants it back up in this in this guy goes you want to lick kick you want to lick kick it right here

► 01:49:29

I'm going to kick homeboy watch it takes a cigarette and then takes his shirt off guy has no idea which is hilarious fat not in shaped like kick but people are so ridiculous with this idea that they think they know how to fight a cold

► 01:49:53

but that's Darkman the banging that had the back of the head off the concrete is dark that's memories gone that fast it's a lot a lot going on a lot going on with your head that's why you getting mad at those movies where people get pistol-whipped and nothing would happen if I wake up earlier like they're trying to get information out of them now I don't remember and then we would wake up that have no problem so just be fighting fast no problems no coordination issues mean while your equilibrium to be so fucked your legs wouldn't work right

► 01:50:38

have you ever been knocked out like other than that really now I've been in a lot of fights but I've never been knocked out only that wrestling match did it when you find out vulnerable you are like the human brain the way it's positioned in the head and I'll have to do is get hit and yanked around a pretty D I think I have a I think is I have what they would call a good chin and thinks that I've taken some fucking I've taken some real punt at least one that when I mean I was younger it's been a long time actually I took a good fucking solid headbutt about 10 years ago from my from my my drunk comedian buddies oh God yeah there's a great video of this girl headbutt in the sky on conscious outside of a bar if I won't be able to find it but some some guys fucking with her and she's not big she's pretty small and she grabs the Sky by the collar and just

► 01:51:34

crumples and drops to the ground fuckingawesome till it's a real move man this part right here hell yeah this is where people break their hands the forehead all the time super hard spot and if you smash them on the job with that or it's one move that chick Ashley can pull off if she really knows how to do it grab someone's shirt and yeah hell yeah

► 01:52:01

Hi-5 head-butted people have you yeah I've never had anybody my whole life I've had to go because you know I mean where I grew up it was just fights fights fights that was just the whole thing Youngstown Ohio damn right everybody was a boxer that's why all the boxers are public dude for someone from Youngstown that's as cool as it gets hung out with boom boom I had to knock out Kelly for the trifecta and that was amazing we had a we had to spread the size of its table I wasn't an email that was everything what do you want cuz everything's on the table right now yeah we ate a lot of good food that was fun that was after the Schottenstein Center right Schottenstein off that was fun than those are only show ever worn a football jersey that one stitch Ohio

► 01:53:01

Columbus Columbus is the anti Connecticut absolutely 100% opposite of Connecticut I mean people from Connecticut like if I would have done that same show that I did in Connecticut in Columbus and there was an angry lady that look that angry in the audience one face looking at me and I said what are you so angry about she would answer the question she would Talia yeah you shouldn't have said that about the me to at least I'd be able to really believe we'd go back and forth a night winter over but in Connecticut they just a staunch I'll let you I'm Jamie's photograph yeah young Jamie photographer extraordinaire or 18 for the Ohio State Buckeyes

► 01:53:46

we so what's going on with young Tony Hinchcliffe career what's the latest I know you've been killing it with kill Tony kill Tony is on a whole nother level have her we're having a lot of fun it's a blast we're taking them all over the road this road shows are insane insane absolutely insane absolutely insane we just did two shows in one night in San Francisco kill Tony Mania where'd you guys go chaos cops two shows in one night on a Friday night in sanity the shows at home or crazy we have Whitney Cummings on Monday we have this new cool thing called the Apollo 13 which is which is this group of black people that come every Monday and feel like really it's basically like if any open micro ever does like to racist of a joke or if it's on the line or whatever they're like the judges like I like point of them and it's like it's so funny we called the Apollo 13 cuz I said that they like

► 01:54:46

was right there and it's like you're always adding new elements and always mixing it up like it is one of the best podcast ever Eric and you're guaranteed either good good comedy or terrible comedy which equals great comedy this past Monday we started the show off with a former reality star that that was horrible right he wasn't funny he's been doing it 14 years but he doesn't put any work into it no work ethic you know what I mean so it's like we roasted him in the crowd loves it because he's such an easily hateable guy and when the last guy we pull out of the bucket comes out of the audience area with a wearing shorts and one of his legs is is amputated he has he has like a website and he talks about how he nearly died 6 months ago in a motorcycle accident and he's a huge kill Tony fan in this is his first time doing stand-up this what we find this out

► 01:55:45

after he has a decent set for a minute it's his first time everyone stand up the the show keeps him from being depressed and all the you know what I mean like so this wide span is what helps make it refillable like what you were saying and you know that it's just so cool because we're basically when it comes to that PC stuff that we were talking about earlier like I don't know if there's many places where the vent for that were you can get a real barometer because look we have the Apollo 13 which they're called the Apollo 13 because it's like Showtime at the Apollo but there's like 13 of them so I called me of this group of black people it's like for example a few weeks ago this one kid like we did it doesn't even seem like he's 21 closes on this horrible joke about Kanye was somebody needs to throw Kanye up in an hour or something like that it's the whole place is in chaos groaning in the Apollo 13 standing up like this

► 01:56:45

since it's such a live show that's sort of like you know if you have if you make a racist joke that's not funny you're going to die dude you know what I mean like if it's the worst type of so it's sensors are real life comedy crowd you get a real good barometer for what's going on and it makes it more exciting and it's just so so fun what we're doing keeping it refillable like what you said finding new ways to tweak it here and there and you know it's always a new element is always something new something and the fact that the background guys like Jeremiah and all those guys like change outfits all the time and a consulate doing new things it's just the ridiculous show and that's the king Dom Irrera is the fucking King yep that was so good at that shit so sad

► 01:57:45

she said being a dick but he did it he did this thing a couple weeks ago where he said to a guy like he's like I like how you don't try to do that whole funny thing and everybody else tries these punchlines this comedy things not you different path all together thank you so great at that he just says it like it's be like he's giving a big compliment what's the new thing with the comedy catch up Tony I guess I will fucking cisgendered white male piece of shit I'm the bad guy but yeah just doing a lot of stand-up ramping up to hopefully make another special soon and I feel good about things so we'll see what happens life is good I'm pumped beautiful good to hear it's going to be it's going to be it's going to be a naughty special when and if it happened. I'm going to be like knowing that you're going to be naughty yeah we're going to talk about some things I'm planning on being naughty or you just know they all the time it's modern-day naughtiness

► 01:58:46

late night naughtiness built in the darkness a good time for me right now to take somehow or another this is a bad time for comedy but she said you know what's good about calling you right now, he's dangerous consequences the same fucked-up things I agree 100% and it makes us some comedians are leaning towards it right like a high I want that one that I want to talk about that don't want to talk about that I don't want to talk about that and they're they're losing the there moose in the van because all of a sudden I get up there you know what I mean you have a hold all of a sudden you're touching the Untouchable are you exactly right it's also there's fun in the explain yourself as fun and navigating the waters like this one is that I've I've made sure that I did I thought Barry I thought out very thoroughly when I did strange times that my last special I wanted to make sure I really thought out how I can

► 01:59:46

oldies bits off and how I can make them like Doug Stanhope said he said he looks at his material like a defense attorney like as if he's defending his his material I got that's a great way to look at it I look at my material like I'm a hater don't know if I was a hater how would I poke fun at that follow someone who's looking to be offended so get that out of the way that I did in the last one in triggered that changed a lot of what they were from the beginning to when I put them on film because of the way bodies members were reacting clearly I'm having a problem with this where they're not I'm not even getting to the switch I'm not getting to the misdirect cuz they're upset before I get to the misdirect I'm not it's in the it'll be fine if they let me get to the end but sometimes they would Heckle or they would get upset like one lady of The Comedy Store I had to explain to her twice I go listen I'm saying it like this because I'm going to shit on myself afterwards

► 02:00:46

this is what I'm saying it was a bit about you going to do about women can do everything men can do not true cuz men can't do everything some men can do that's why we have the Olympics everybody can do everything that's ridiculous because it was about the woman who guarded the White House I go because I'm at school on the on his dick is where my face is and I had to explain to her like this is see this is where I was going to go with it if the White House is experiencing shakatak I'm the last guy to save the Earth okay he's just too fucking big you know and I would explain why I was trying to get to this but I was this lady's getting upset at me before I was so I had to think I was like okay it's just a drunk dummy how do I keep the drug Dummy from popping off before I get to the Miss directly so I had to restructure things and I had to figure out a way to make it so that it's clear and it like you

► 02:01:45

you just have to navigate to Waters more carefully but you can still get just as much juice out of it just as much comedy and just as much shit that's forbidden just make taboo topics to be really clear the clubs on the road before necessarily doing you know bigger venues or whatever is cuz you really can feel them you feel where those moments are sometimes in a bigger venue you sort of you just your sort of taking a gamble you know what's going to we know what's going to get a laugh and will not allow after you can't really feel there like a 10,000 seat room tutorial at Scotiabank

► 02:02:45

part of your beard better than anything if they have a better than you know anything but like what is it the Funny Bone in Columbus development are there, he works Denver development Arrow the development and clubs do big places and they only played their audiences their fucking themselves totally it's like an athlete that doesn't strength train or it's like you know someone who doesn't they don't they will work out but they don't watch their diet you got to do you want the best results you got to do the whole thing or out of touch I mean you got it you got to do the whole thing you need to take those people that's just I mean I don't my name any names right theater you know one of those big Legends but they don't do as they don't experiment not being funny but they should do is they should I have a secret 5-minute experimental bit buried in there

► 02:03:45

it's purposely nothing funny about it and run it and when they hear those last that's when they'll realize like shit oh shit there laughing no matter what cuz I have been trained

► 02:03:59

is that true if it's their fans and their dumb comedy fans I don't think they're going to laugh at things that aren't funny but I think they're going to laugh harder at things that aren't as good I think they're going to want like I want to see a comic anime names mean Joey Diaz went to Sam cuz we are playing in the place the next night and it was it was one of those situations where someone was doing their material for Their audience you could tell they hadn't been working out in the clubs you can just see it and the people wanted to laugh they wanted to laugh they were there with their words fans and they were with it that's a difference between that and say a set of the store once 11 p.m. on Tuesday night when they already seen you and Joey Diaz and Ari and all these other Killers like you got to be funny it doesn't matter if your you know some you feeling the name whatever fucking Superstar you have to actually be funny to give you a minute or two to get settled in on stage the clap and they're excited to see you

► 02:04:59

, the fucking jokes barely do they give you a minute really they they really do it's really truly 30 seconds is it really is is it's so hard to recover from a spin out so much easier to start strong and take chances and fizzle out than it is to not start off on the right foot and get them gone so so cuz they're right on top of you in the or the right there and then you could just Hi5 them and they know that at that point they know what's going on they know you better get to it they've already seen

► 02:05:38

6 of their favorite new comedians that are already waiting the Google the lineup after they go home like they're like oh my God this is crazy and they know what the blue light in the corner means all of a sudden now I got off his guys got 3 more minutes be better but they're not that dumb it takes what seemed two or three comedians in the original room which is only 45 minutes before your train you know everything that's going on here comes the piano guys at the weirdest wrong fucking love that ran from some weird the birthplace of kill Tony that's another thing that makes kill Tony fun is it's like it was totally just it was a belly ring baby and now you see if it's a big manly having kill Tony Mania I drove a van of 14 people up there a big giant trip from Instagram was one of the coolest things

► 02:06:37

can remember who is starting to whine all the way to San Francisco 24 hours of my life because I picked everybody up at The Comedy Store I go be at The Comedy Store 9 a.m. Friday morning I'm going to pick you up and I'm driving everybody back that night and I literally did I went and rented this big cool badass fucking luxury van she did two shows in San Francisco and you drove back that night what time did you get home I think it was 7 or 8 actually was like 8 a.m. I just stay awake first of all after kill Tony I'm a freak for like 3 or 4 hours so I knew that so that's going to be easy and I was cuz like adrenaline like hosting a drenalin like I'm crazy about that show so it's like so much like I'm running I'm looking at what wear what wear red bands fingers are I'm trying to get the ghazt so your wife I love the way you know it's am thinking moves ahead the whole time I'm super wired so I knew I really just needed to survive the last 2 hours and it was awesome

► 02:07:37

man hot coffee beef jerky cold sugar-free Red Bull is enough for me but my body was like what the fuck are you dipping when I got home did you do a damn mother fukin right main room baby I slept from 11 a.m. to take the kids like 6:30 that's all I'm so cool that's awesome but the really cool thing as cheesy as this is going to sound is like taking those 14 people all with different backstories all from different years and different amounts of appearances you know Sara weinshenk and Ali macofsky regular is over the different years at different times that all the fans know from seeing them each a hundred times a hundred different episodes and this guy and this guy and this guy and this guy in the band and everybody was just on fire we met some of the best and worst people you can imagine in all of San Francisco in the history of the 303 episode

► 02:08:37

did the show there's only been one guy that ever walked off the stage angrily they couldn't handle the heat that happened in San Francisco like two and a half years ago the same guy that we didn't realize until he did it again that it was the same guy he walked off I go you know the only other time that anyone's ever walked off and kill Tony history was here in San Francisco and the Crowd Goes in like 10 15 20 people stand up and literally go to the energy the show in the fans and everything man it's like so cool but yeah I can't remember what made me get on this but I drove everybody there and back and it made it like such like a I was like I was like the dad for a day you know what I mean like that I bought everybody in and out on the way up there I'll he was so go over these was so happy and strawberry shakes the van is hilarious

► 02:09:37

they're so like it's me and Ali macofsky in the front in this picture in the back that's William Montgomery and he's coming for everybody's jobs that's the bad guy that guy is a genius he's like Andy Kaufman meets a fucking Tennessee trucker he's coming for everybody's going to know who that guy is eventually he's been doing it 11 years out of Memphis Tennessee and he just got here a few months ago and he's just an improv Guru like he just goes like you can at he bullshits you can ask him anything and he's literally got like that that comedy twitch muscle where he just riffs and it's the dumbest shit in the most glorious shit at the same time in the front here driving while Watkins to yes you got Aphrodite taking a nap look at that fro second row from the back right about the house artist you got Josh who decided to sit in the middle The Continuous Grump he gets some he's he gets most

► 02:10:37

in sickness and he didn't sit next to a window for some reason so that's a genuine frown on his face

► 02:10:45

Mikey mckernan in the back left I mean all these people did amazing things it was just so incredible George and Christian sling in March at the front entrance love like Grassroots created shows like that we're just started out as nothing and then became what it is now I just have a lot of shit like that I love when people have an idea and they stick with it again probably probably actually really soon I just got it I just got to do it I have to I have to figure out whether I want to do it at The Comedy Store not though seems like I don't know why not you're really good with live audiences like that off-the-cuff why not have a show like that dude in the belly room in the belly room one Monday night Monday night find another like off time 10 p.m. especially do it late night like some weird late night show yeah I think you're right actually. I think I need to do it

► 02:11:45

front of a live audience it's your Forte I mean your grades are kind of stuff yeah and to do it in a small intimate room like the belly room and build it back up you can get a logo on a big sign behind you the golden pony hour maybe a gold suit maybe do every show with a gold suit on like the way your talking now I'm telling you right I can fulfill the prophecy The Mastermind member The Mastermind know it writes everything and executes it you could do something like that like I have a cool backdrop you know like some sort of a simple portable back to Elvis Hallelujah $40 may I see if you can find one them suits gold what is that word Lemay what is that word mean l a m e I've seen that word before I bothered to look up

► 02:12:45

people playing what is it mean Lemay suit just type in suit

► 02:12:57

unable to walk normally know that's lame bro fabric woven or knit with thin ribbons of metallic fiber oh yeah that's your shit a fucking Goldblum a suit dude that's what I'm going to get hold on type in Gold Lamay suit that's we need to do if I hired someone to build you a suit yes would you wear the shit out of it alright you can make out that show that's ridiculous isn't any old iron sequin suit I mean

► 02:13:57

Hospital getting the washing machine I think you need to get someone to make you one of them I think we need to hire us like cosplay for Causeway people haha yeah we need to get something to make you want yeah it needs to be like Taylor property it's going to fit you we need to get David August that's the the company that makes they make Conor McGregor suit they make my suits for the UFC really yeah yeah I can't wear regular suits not built like a normal person so look at that she's wearing one hot bitch

► 02:14:39

yeah okay so going to do that I'm going to hire David August to make you a gold Lamay suit that fits you perfectly and heard about it here folks the launch of the golden pony our Flash from The Comedy Store Wednesday night in the belly room midnight

► 02:15:04

Elton John Billy Joel and Elton John sting all together again all right so we can get on the road again yeah I'm excited what is it now it's October 31st tomorrow is the first

► 02:15:22

what are doing mushrooms and mediately and I'm looking at 35 minutes now 35 minutes of time to that 35 new minutes I can actually do 30 I can do it 35 minutes 35 minutes at I'm looking at January January start booking dates I love it you're going to start looking in January or booking booking stay in La December stay in La January maybe we do it the Comedy Works in Denver in the fucking dead of winter I think I'm going to London for the first time in the middle of February oshit out there their they're very polite remember the first time that we did Stockholm and you thought that you weren't doing well because they're very polite in between sets and I had to say none enough they listen they were laughing like I felt like a bomb by the way I didn't believe you I had asked everybody around me that do like security like I was I could not I write I took

► 02:16:22

you said like I believe you but I didn't really believe you like I thought you were just being I thought he were being nice like it's like always trying to give me a pep talk like how you did never do that right now I just know that I know I tell you dude you can do better I know but I know you wouldn't do that that's why it was crazy to me cuz I'm like either I go the world is different over here on the other side of the world or the fucking with me two things taking consideration one second language so I'm sure they're Swedish comedians but I'm sure the timing and the language is very different going from you know Swedish style comedy to American style, but they're just really polite so they would they would laugh and then they would stop and they would listen and you like dead in between the bits on my I'm telling you man you did great but then you saw it when they were doing it from my side

► 02:17:22

yeah I know that's how they really are go yeah they had a great time but they they laugh but they don't does not like all this chatter in between The Jug write the wait and then they laugh again they laugh again but then your second set we did to show that night you came out you were comfortable your phone cuz I embrace that I yeah I stayed in the pocket instead of being like what's going on will they are that way in England as well in England they really appreciate the craft the really appreciate stand-up comedy and they were really appreciate it as a show there extremely polite when they watch shows I really enjoy performing there I like it a lot I haven't been there in a while and I know I should go back and I will I promise but the last time was it was like man that just there intelligent that polite like the way they watch a show like they go to see a show you know

► 02:18:11

that place is great Manchester is great London's great Newcastle did I fill out a place in England that a good time you know what else is a fucking great but a different wild Dublin Dublin Dublin chaos yeah I want to go over there she got to get drunk

► 02:18:30

have they done any UFC there sure I'm sure I don't know if there's been a UFC in Dublin while he was huge though I don't know that's a good question cuz they were going to do at a soccer stadium over there was the last time Connor fought in Dublin

► 02:18:57

I don't know man seems like that would make sense

► 02:19:01

yeah I was a cage worst UFC UFC fight against brandao

► 02:19:12

yeah it's for some reason Stockholm than Boston and Dublin and then that makes sense

► 02:19:20

now though Jesus Christ I got can't even walk in Dublin like I can't go anywhere that's something that we're about to do together we're going to go to Toronto my girls fighting guess who's undefeated with me next to the Octagon damn right guess who's about to be member when she got that strawberry Championship what she do she ran out of the Octagon came and took a picture of kiss you that's right yes I believe that's what's going to happen again she didn't do any of those things I was just joking yeah we're kidding but she didn't jump out of the octagon and take a picture with what now that's a different one and again and again bottom right yep oh yeah she's over here

► 02:20:20

winner belt on yep that is hilarious yeah it's a tough fight man she's fighting Valentina shevchenko Valentina is fucking murder man is a monster however I think not having to cut that extra 10 lb is going to give you on a lot of pop and a lot of extra energy and we're going to see the old the Alana you know what I mean Rose had her number technically and that's the only person we've ever seen have her number so yeah she did she absolutely struggles to make a hundred fifteen pounds absolutely undeniably she she's it's an agonizing wake up for her I think it be better for her they have fought for the you know they fought two or three times in Muay Thai and valentina's won all the fights ya Valentin is a beast man and she's bigger valentina's coming down from 1:35 to 1:25

► 02:21:10

but I like it I like it's probably one of the more technical female MMA fighter ever going to say in terms of like you know you want to be in the world champion my TIE fighter Valentina being you know at that same level they just both super super tactical and that's going to be fun hangout Toronto hell yeah it's been a good time it's over let me see the the standings see if anybody made a wild push today to try to as it does it end and midnight East Coast or West Coast of you said that

► 02:21:54

oh great new bug Apple stuck in the notifications stuck in it wonderful new bug that bug that's fucking terrible it's doing it again. Wonderful wonderful new bug that's crazy

► 02:22:21

thank you everyone for tuning into the podcast and thank you to our sponsors thank you to athletic greens go to athletic greens.com Rogan and they're going to hook you up with 20 free travel packs valued at $99 with your first purchase it's fucking good for you folks 75 Whole Foods sourced ingredients that's got you covered in the five key areas of Health one scoop with the antioxidant equivalent of 12 servings of fruits and vegetables cam Ford / Rogan thank you also to policygenius head on over to policygenius it is the easy way for you to compare and buy life insurance stop putting that should I shut off I could even say shut it off

► 02:23:12

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► 02:23:37

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